Pregnant at forty and over - thread 2

[cloudjumper]

To continue the support for those of us who are pregnant at forty and over.

Grizzer thanks for the info on hypnobirthing. I'm 25 + 4 and only just starting to think about the actual birth . I think anything that helps to keep you calm is worth doing. DH and I are also doing this every step of the way together (as much as we can) so if we can listen to the CDs together perhaps we can stay calm together at the start! As you know I'm a first timer and haven't a clue about the reality. . .

Well I now have quite a big tummy and my LO is kicking every day and getting stronger. DH and I had our first shopping trip yesterday. Having never pushed a pram before, I may need some practice. I didn't even know what I was looking at! Has anyone used the Babybjorn Original Baby Carrier? We bought one and then I read some of the reviews on Amazon - lots of positive but a lot of negative too . . . . should we change it?

Note to self: read reviews first

Been away for so long - congrats to Cloud and Grizzer how lovely for you both.
And glad scans seem to have gone well.

My first day back at work today after the christmas break and I'm not enjoying it at all - would much rather be at home with DS, but gotta pay the bills somehow!

Hope you're all well, all had a good Christmas and all the very best for the New Year to you all

Just swinging by quickly to talk to Brookeberry about slings and prams...

If you can change the BB carrier, I would, as you will probably struggle to carry the baby in it for very long as they're not very good for your back.

If you possibly can, go to a local sling library and try some out there before buying. I started off by renting ones then ended up buying a few of my faves. Just before DD was born, I had a sling consultant visit me at home and show me how to tie a stretchy sling (it's a bit of a knack as you need to get the faric fairly tight but smooth on your body). I then rented a Hana sling which is a bamboo knit and very breathable so comfier in warmer weather than some of the cotton ones (Moby is the most popular stretchy one but I found it too thick to use comfortably).

Then when DD was 4/5 months old, we rented a Manduca buckle carrier which can be worn on front, side or on the back for older children. DD is 3 in a few weeks and still fits in it, so we have had our money's worth (we bought a second hand one).

We also have a Scootababy hip/side carrier which is great for popping out quickly as it's a single fastening.

Final word on slings - be careful when buying the v sought-after brands such as Ergo as fakes are very common, even when buying new off Amazon.

Re pushchairs - we got a Baby Jogger City Mini GT and it's been great - can be folded flat with one hand and doesn't take up too much space in the car. We bought adaptors to attach the car seat to it, although didn't bother with a carrycot (although may get one to put on it for this baby). Loads of space for shopping and adjustable handle height for taller people. It also has a hood which reaches over to cover entire passenger plus two little windows in hood so that you can check on your sleeping offspring We also have an old McLaren for trips abroad plus a Bob Ironman for running

PS I found a small compensation today for being turfed out of my job because I'm pregnant.. Visited local posh hotel spa today and negotiated a temporary membership for rest of pregnancy. It has a gym, indoor/outdoor pools, poolside loungers, yoga/pilates classes and various other spa thingies. And when DD isn't in nursery I can take her in for free. Of course, I'm only going there to use the gym

Brilliant tips eagle, I really appreciate it! Actually I want to get a sling as well, but I don't see DH wearing one so the carrier might be more for him. I'll go look up the Manduca and Scootababy (I love the names) - thanks.

The Baby Jogger sounds good - I'll check it out. I'll tell you now I wont need one for running with. I'm more of a stroller . . . . .

Ah yes, the DP issue with slings is pretty commonplace... they tend to like things that look like rucksacks. The manduca and scootababy are both fairly utilitarian looking and you can pop a newborn into a manduca as there's an extra bit inside for supporting tiny babies. However, they will be most comfy in a stretchy wrap when they're tiny. And the great thing about decent quality slings is that you can buy one new or used and get pretty much all of your money back when you sell it on and high street carriers often end up having to go to the charity shop

Our Ironman is a recent acquisition and have only used it myself for offroad walking, but the plan is that DP will go running and take one of the DDs with him.

Oh, and one other pushchair we have which I forgot to mention earlier... We have a double bike trailer bought cheap off Ebay and cannot recommend enough. It's a fairly decent one and can be towed by a bike or you add a third wheel and you have a giant stroller. I've used it for country walks with friends as DD loves sitting in it with a friend. We also use it at festivals as it has masses of storage and normally fit camping chairs, food and changes of clothes and a box of wine It's also great for night time at festivals as it has a canopy so DD can bed down in it with blankets

The rest of the year we are good parents, honest

We had our 20 week scan this morning, all is fine, they think it's a girl.

I have a low-lying placenta which should move before 34 weeks but if it doesn't, I'll need a caesarean.

HI all. I'm a late joiner to this party. I'm 27 weeks with dc3 and I'll be 41 when he or she arrives, hopefully.

Have pile of medication to take in pregnancy: aspirin, clexane, high dose folic acid, thyroxine, vitamin D and now iron tablets. I jangle when I walk.

I am incredibly tired. So tired. But at least I'm not sick anymore!

Ellie, I really like bravado seamless silk bras, which work brilliantly for me as maternity and bf bras. They accommodate a good bit of change in size, are comfy enough to sleep in, and come with padding inserts which make them like t-shirt bras. But I have read that those better endowed than me don't find them sufficiently supportive.

Hello and congrats to all who have graduated this thread. I'm now 27 weeks and been diagnosed with gestational diabetes last week. Tests indicate i won't get it afterwards and midwife today told me it should go 6 hours after birth. My last baby was 10lbs and looking back I clearly had it then as well but BMI wasn't high enough to do the glucose test (am fatter now...) Have done a miserable, soul destroying week with no sugar or carbs and has made no difference to my levels as it's my base level of insulin which is being blocked. Have to go on insulin, am trying to see this as a positive it's pointless trying to control it through diet so tonight I've been given permission to have pudding. Feel much better as well, I've been so tired, 2 naps a day, very stiff hands and blurry vision - all have got much better. Anyone else here diabetic as well as old?

Yes, I am diabetic youremywife, luckily only on Metformin. I'm 35+5 now, and my consultant told me that once at 35wks you settle as the preg hormone that means you don't metabolise the blood sugars slows down. so hopefully once you're under insulin control things will improve. The plus side is extra monitoring and scans!

That's good to know Isla. did my first jab earlier, it's not a trigger like the blood monitor, it's an actual needle to stick in. Will see if the overnight one has worked tomorrow. My fasting level has never gone below 6 but my post meal reading has always been under 7.5 whatever I eat. It's really odd.

Good news on the 20 week scan Nicky and hello output
Hope you get everything sorted yourmywife and are feeling better.

Thank goodness it's half way through the week - ready for the weekend already!

So, we have our 12 week scan tomorrow (actually 13+4) and blood test results due back then too, so will be going public next week all being well.

BUT, having been looking forward to telling people for ages (nearly 3 years of miscarriages) I've now come over all nervous. I have this horrible feeling that I'll be judged for being 'too old' and people will think it's weird to be having first child at my age. Oh and the fear that telling people will jinx it somehow of course.

Anyone else had the fear about telling? How did it go for those who are further along? We've told close family and friends, but they knew we were trying anyway and everyone's being great (apart from FIL who made facetious comments about DH's age, but be has previous so we were ready for him). It's work folk I suppose I'm worried about.

TheGreaterGood I totally get you. We told immediate family fairly early on (I have a weekly dinner with family which always involves wine and sometimes whisky- no way I was going to be able to fake my way through 10 weeks of those before coming clean), and I had to tell work as I work in a role which regularly clocks up 80+ hours a week, and I really had to explain that I needed to cut my hours a little in that first trimester. that aside, we really haven't gone out of our way to tell anyone! I am 23 weeks now and starting to show a little, and I am telling friends as I see them if it feels right. I do kind of have The Fear about being too open about it. I've not suffered from any past losses, but this is our first child, I will be 40 in a couple of weeks, I'm not married to the baby's father nor are we making any plans to (I am from a very catholic family and work in a fairly conservative industry) and even worse, I am a DIVORCEE (you may as well throw away the key now, right?) I'm not remotely ashamed of my situation, I couldn't give less of a fuck what stupid or pious people think. But I do feel quite shy, and fiercely protective of my little baby's privacy for now, as he grows and, hopefully, gets to term. Not sure if any of that resonates at all. whatever your reasons, your privacy and nerves are nothing new!

Good luck tomorrow, please enjoy it and come back to tell us how it goes

nicky333 great news on the scan- and plenty of time for that placenta to move (as the vast majority of them do!) so try not to worry too much

I can totally relate TheGreaterGood. I went through 3 years of mcs and a failed IVF and this time I just didn't want to tell anyone. We kept it to ourselves until the 12 week scan (I found this thread a great support and outlet) and only then told friends and family. Then I didn't tell anyone else until after my 20 week scan. It all took a while to sink in to be honest. Now at 25+5 weeks I'll tell anyone who'll listen

You'll feel great after your 12 week scan tomorrow. But please don't worry about your age. This is DC1 for us and I'm 42, and as far as I can tell, anyone who matters is absolutely over the moon for us. And anyone work related seems to be delighted too. Your happiness will shine through and that will only grow with your confidence.

Let us know how you get on tomorrow!

Citymole how shocking! I don't know how you even dare

Thanks - I asked Dr. Google and he said that 90% of placenta praevia showing at 20 weeks doesn't show at 34 weeks.

Output welcome 💐and thanks. Strangely while showing me the expensive mat bras, the salesgirl managed to recommed me Belvia bras from JML and so far I am very very happy with that, so much so that I am sleeping in them too! ;) yes perhaps not the best one for support but I guess i can look for some more later..it only costed me 2.99 each in discount!

Greater I am so sorry to hear abt ur traumatic experience with Harmony test. After all u spent so much money so that u could know in advance and put urself at peace. It sucks! It happened to me last pregnancy. But I am sure a good scan tomorrow will cheer up up :)

I can not believe. I thought we were just gestational buddies but ur post seems like I could have posted it..word to word, except that I have longer period of suffering..6 years and 5 mcs...we only shared the pregnancy news to one of our best friend. We did not even share the news with any family members. I had a second trimester loss previously so was scared to share anything with family esp. its been so traumatic to my mum and dad. But when I shared with them after 12 wk scan they are over the moon and so are my in-laws. I would def suggest u to share at work, believe me the whole atmospher changes..people are suddenly so nice to u..u'd enjoy the attention..atleast i hope so.

City Jeez, i used to feel my job was worst ever for pregnancy as sometimes it involves being on ur toes whole night but your hours are unheard of in the EWTD compliant world! Gosh u still working? How do u manage? Is it a desk job?

Nicky congrats on ur scan. Glad Dr Google has reassured u.

urmywife hope u r reassured too and getting used to injections now and are feeling a bit better.

Eagle lovely post from u..not that i am anywhere near thinking any of that but still i enjoyed reading it. Thank you x

Thinking of u Greater...bundles of luck xx

Morning all!
So the scan went well - baby looks lively, growing well and everything in the right place. Phew. Just harmony results to go, but the sonographer said that although she didn't do the nuchal measurement, it looks about right.

city - wow, you really are quite the rebel huh? Must be harder where religion's involved. I don't have that added complexity thank goodness, and I know in my heart that my worries are unfounded.

brook ellie - thanks so much for sharing your experiences with me and I'm so sorry you've had to endure that pain too. I guess MCs make you wary of getting too excited too soon. I told my family straight away this time as they know what we've been through and I wanted their support. But it's so odd telling people you're pregnant when you all know what could happen - no-one knows what to say or how to be. I feel guilty that I've put them all through it too. Telling other people who know our history makes me feel nervous, like they're going to say 'are you sure this time?' - we told our SIL and BIL at the weekend and they said 'we're not going to tell Nephew...yet'. Made me think they had no faith although I totally understand that it's harder to 'un tell' a 9 year old who's been nagging for a cousin for years!

I am looking forward to telling work people after the last 3 years of going through the MC cycle of being pregnant so feeling shit/anxious and blowing out social events but thinking at least you'll be able to tell people why soon, but then not being able to, but being off sick and coming back an even grumpier mofo with no apparent excuse! Has felt very isolating at times which is why I told a few people last time what had happened.

Ah - one more question...I've been taking low does aspirin having read about the benefits to those who's previously suffered MCs but I'm not sure when/if I'm supposed to stop! It wasn't prescribed and I've not told my MW. I have my first proper MW appointment on Jan 26th so think perhaps I should discuss with her then? Thing is, I don't want to just stop if she says 'well it wasn't prescribed' in case it's actually been doing some good. Any experience/advice?

Thanks for listening!

Great news about the scan greater!

Because I had 3 mcs, I was prescribed progesterone pessaries up to 12 weeks, after which I was told to take low dose aspirin which I will take throughout the pregnancy.

After the mcs, I had tests for 'sticky blood' (which can maybe cause mcs) which I didn't have, otherwise I think I would have been prescribed aspirin earlier. I can't actually remember exactly what it's for now! (somebody will be along soon to explain I'm sure). I can't remember if it's because of my age, or it's a general precaution against pre-eclampsia. I've to take it throughout pregnancy though. Yes, best to discuss it with your midwife.

Greater - fab news about the scan!

As for the Aspirin, I was told a my 12 week consultant appointment (straight after the scan) to start taking it, 75mg tablets. I've not had a MC before, but the fact that I'm 40 and this will be my first baby is enough to trigger the 'you must now take this'. Two strikes and all that.

Thanks for the aspirin advice - sounds like it's a reasonably thing to be taking so I shall speak to MW about it. I just don't want to change anything as everything's going OK for now!

I've been on aspirin too from 12 weeks. They said it was because I've had an IUGR baby already due to flow problems and clots killing off the placenta but also because I'm over 40.
Saw midwife the other day and she said since they introduced aspirin to "older" mums the results have been phenomenal with many more straightforward pregnancies. Not entirely sure why but seems to be working.
I've been for a scan this morning (28+2) and everything including the doppler flow is bang on average (apart from femur length which is within normal but short - I blame his dad). Estimated weight of this one at the moment is 1.08kg. DS1 was only 1.7kg when born!
The only difference this pregnancy is the addition of aspirin, so seems to be working for me.

not - thanks for the advice. Funny how some people have been advised to take aspirin and some not. It hasn't been mentioned to me by any doctor or midwife.

On the leg length topic, ours look really really long in the scan pic...to be fair DH is tall with long legs, but this is ridiculous...am attempting to post a pic here. Should I be worried for when the kicking starts?