40+ and pregnant? Come and join the fun!

[cloudjumper]

I am 43 and currently pg with DC2, due early January. I thought it would be nice to have a thread for the pregnant ladies of 'older vintage', similar to the 40+ ttc thread, for advice, support and the occasional moan.

Question to those of you who have had the Harmony test, do they just post the results to you or do you have to go in and see someone to discuss the outcome?

The consultant's secretary rang me with mine. It says in the info that they'll discuss the results at the second appointment which is for the scan, but I don't know whether that's just if the results come back as high risk and they don't want to discuss over the phone.

Thanks Grizzer. I have just realised I cannot get the app at the moment as I share AppleIDs with DD and the DC don't know yet! Only 11 days to go!

The Dr thinks that my artery may be just behind the vein she tried to take the blood from and either she caught the artery or accidentally took the blood from the artery. Either way, not good. My arm is a mess and I have also hidden this from the kids! I will be so happy when I can be open about everything!

Bottle enjoy your wine tonight and I hope all is ok in the morning. I also didn't get a positive test until I was two weeks late. FX for you.

Thanks Kungfu. The website of the clinic I was looking at says nothing about a scan. I think I'll phone and book tomorrow and I can ask them then.

Cloud I hope you're feeling a bit better today.

Sezra I hope the arm is not too painful now. How awful. I'm hoping to get a more competent midwife to do my bloods this time. Speaking of which I need to phone and book that tomorrow. I still have nearly two weeks until my booking appointment.

Early night here I think. Dh and I are both shattered with this cold and an early start. Plus I was awake for two hours the night before as ds woke me making noise in his sleep and I couldn't get back to sleep again. Yawn...

Hello ladies
Have been having terrible with the mobile site not letting me post (and can't remember login for normal site), but seems I'm ok now...

I am now 9+4 and saw the baby's heart beat a week ago - very exciting and reassuring as I was sure it would be bad news... For about two days, and then the worries set in...

Symptoms have always been patchy, but seen to be lessening since before the weekend... (about a week) But I do have a horrible cold - has anyone had any experience of this? Symptoms just going when you are ill? Even my boobs are barely sore and feel deflated. Maybe the body can only cope with so much?! I'm sure I've read some posts about it before, but can't find them more...

It's just so easy to assume the worst at the moment, I feel like its a very thin line, staying positive, but not too excited about it - it actually takes quite a watchful eye not to get carried away with thoughts of the baby being born, or thoughts of more depressive events...

Anyway... Hope you are all having a more positive experience at the moment, and managing to enjoy your pregnancies :)

Xx

Ps no pain or bleeding or anything, and have another scan booked for the 8th, so just trying to stay sane til then (haha)!

Bottlecap how did you get on this morning?

Hi mooncalf, I'm afraid I've hardly any symptoms with this pregnancy or my last so can't help. Fingers crossed all is well and time passes quickly until your next scan.

mooncalf your worry is completely normal. I am now 12 weeks, but I think we are going through a similar experience.

I had a good scan at 8+3 - hurrah! But like you, I felt good for around 3 days . . . . then the negative thoughts started, not helped by my symptoms decreasing at around 9 weeks - my boobs weren't so sore and felt smaller. I asked everyone on here for reassurance and I got it - the symptoms can come and go. I didn't understand how my boobs could get less sore, but I think your body can get used to the hormone as well. Anyway, I had a scan at 10+3 and was convinced it would be bad news - it was good - so there's proof!

Now I have my 12 wk scan on Tuesday and am feeling more confident, but who knows. I'm almost sick of worrying now. Although on Tuesday I know I will be a mess until I see a smile on the sonographer's face. Those of us who have been through the bad scans are going to be extra-sensitive to them.

You are so right about the thin line. My DH is saying stay positive and I am but I don't want to be heartbroken either. It's a matter of time, isn't it. Everyone says the worry never ends(!) but I think the first trimester is such a delicate time and we just have to keep busy and get through it.

I'm glad you have a scan booked for the 8th. It will be he reassurance you need. Mine is on the 6th.

Good morning abab. Thanks for asking. My clearblue easy advanced fertility monitor says pregnant!

The fact that I tested negative last night must not bode terribly well for the viability of my pregnancy, quite obviously it means that I have low HCG levels. I don't really feel pregnant at all - apart from one morning where I was on high-smell alert - which is what led me to take the second test in the first place.

Lots of people don't get positive tests until later (as others posted yesterday) so their hcg levels must have been low too yet their pregnancies were fine. Don't write it off yet. Fingers crossed for you.

bottle So sorry that you are in this limbo! Have you tried a First Response pg test? They are meant to be the most sensitive. Not sure about the fertility monitor, are they not meant to just track ovulation? How far along would you be now? Like others have said, in some cases it takes a while for the HcG to rise...

Great news about the Harmony, kungfu!

mooncalf That sounds normal to me - having a bad cold pretty much overshadows everything in my experience! Seeing a heartbeat at 8 weeks significantly lowers your risk of something going wrong. Hang in there, the horrible first trimester will be over soon. One day at a time, keep busy and remember, today you are pregnant!

Has anyone heard from cineraria? She was due end of Sept, so I'm wondering if anything has happened yet...

I still have this stupid cold, I thought it was getting better, but it totally floored me last night, and I am so bunged up again. Now worried it'll go into my sinuses... Urgh. Feeling very tired and flat, even though I went to bed really really last night! Bring on the weekend. I have every intention to take it easy (but I always say that and then it doesn't happen).

Hi there

Thanks for the support ladies, I really need it today, my head is a mess! I am ask over the shop and can't seem to stop crying (hormones I know, but rising or falling??).

It's good to hear that this has happened to others (without wanting to sound mean!) and its been ok. Brookeberry, I'm glad to hear your pregnancy is progressing well - I think we came to this thread around the same time.

And thank you cloudjumper - I really really hope it is just the cold, and lack of sleep that is doing me in. Most of the symptoms I can cope with losing, but the boobs have been pretty consistent really.

And is just so similar to the M/MC that I can't not worry. Anyway, rang the midwife service, and they are getting the epac to ring, so I might get seen earlier than Thursday - it seems too long to wait to find out, you know?

Sorry to bang on about it, but so scared atm... I can usually calm my self and be a bit logical about it, but no chance of that right now!

mooncalf you're not banging on about it, it's completely understandable. I've never had a miscarriage but I understand the fear as I had it everyday of my first pregnancy when I was terrified something awful would happen. Try and remember that this is a different pregnancy and it's a great sign that you've already had a successful scan. cloud's advice to keep busy and take it one day at a time was good - it's all we can do as we have so little control over our pregnancies.

Thanks Abab and everyone - you are right of course, there is nothing to be done except wait and see. It's made worse I think by being off work with a stinker of a cold, and not much to do but sit about.

Feeling better though after reading your replies, and getting on with some crochet :)

Have heard from midwife at epac - I'm booked in for a scan on Monday, although I have to day she didn't sound very hopeful. But now it's booked I feel more able to let go, as I know there is nothing else to do.

Cloudjumper, I hope your cold is better soon too - if its the one going round our way, it's awful!!

Bottle, I meant to say, and out may not be much comfort given what's happening with me right now, but I never get a decent positive straight away. Never before I am due on and then very faint - at least a good week before its a nice dark line. Also this time I got two positives from day of period, then on the third day nothing. The next day it was nice and dark... So I think it was a dodgy test - it's possible! Tests done at night especially unlikely to show a strong result early on...

Having said all that, not sure how far along you are - I'm wishing you the best of luck though, and hoping ask is well for you xx

It's great you have a scan on Monday.

Tesco has Christmas chocolates in already. I have eaten half a pack of mint matchmakers

You have great restraint! I only ever eat them in full boxes

Our co-op has mince pies already - I wouldn't mind so much, but they go off two months before Xmas!! (:

I'm suddenly feeling low and teary this evening. I haven't felt this way at all - more just grumpy at times. I think not telling anyone can be a bit isolating. Even when I speak to my mum and best friend on the phone I don't have the urge to tell. It all feels a bit unreal. I guess because of previous mcs and not being a mother, I can't really believe this is happening yet. I feel I'm in limbo an although DH is very supportive, I'm not sharing what I'm going through with the people closest to me. Feel down tonight. I'm never good when the seasons change though. Not even a glass of wine to relax with. Oh dear, I am feeling sorry for myself. . . Hope everyone is doing good. Whinge over.

Hey there Brookeberry - I feel you... I've been sobbing all day, and way beyond the fears I talked about earlier... And I usually am grumpy if I'm hormonal, too :)

I know what you mean about the not telling - what I mean is I was bursting to tell people at the beginning, I could hardly trust myself to keep it in. Now the thought of telling people leaves me cold really - I can't imagine it.

I am a mum to a nearly 16 yo son, and it all seems so long ago, it's almost like starting again.

This is a good place for a whinge, though - and for me, if I'm not the one doing it for a change!! Hope you feel better for it, it'll probably pass quite quickly. Even my hysterics of earlier have faded, and nothing has changed really, just my outlook..

Ps there's always chocolate if not wine ;) xx

Sorry you're feeling low too Brooke, it's not easy when you can't share fears with those you'd normally confide in. Not long now 'till your scan and then you'll be able to break the news.

I had a (happy) teary moment myself earlier whilst giving ds his dinner. They played 'isn't she lovely' on the radio and I'm not religious but the line 'I can't believe what God has done' made me sob a bit over my ds. It reminded me of when I was heavily pregnant with him and they played 'when a child is born' while I was driving to work one day, I broke down then too. I'm so soppy

The matchmakers are almost 3/4 gone, dh had a few. When I wrote I'd eaten half it was only 45 mins since I'd got back from the shop...

Thanks mooncalf and ababsurdum, you made me smile. It really does help to share on here. And you really do understand. That's lovely that you both have a ds. I really hope to be a mum - we had given up to be honest - all those mcs and a failed ivf were over a year ago and we thought that there was no chance of getting pregnant again. So here we are. If it's good news at my scan on Tuesday, I think I'll go straight to see my mum.

moon hope you feel better - I want a good cry - it can make you feel so much better, I've just gone a bit numb and low. Terror about the scan?? I thought I was looking forward to it, but we all know how that moment can be so life-altering. Am I going to be a mum or not?

Happy teary is the best abab, just lovely. Well I'm going to get a chocolate supply to watch with Strictly tonight - great idea!

Strictly and chocolate seems like an excellent plan for the evening

Btw I can highly recommend sweet almond oil for your growing bumps. I used it in my last pregnancy and didn't get a single stretch mark. That's despite having others elsewhere from puberty so I'm obviously prone to them.

Ooh had forgotten about strictly, and have already eaten all chocolate in the house - will have to go and buy more...

Brookeberry, a good cry yesterday did me loads of good, bit at the time it felt as if I would never stop! It's so hard to let go and I definitely recognise that feeling of being numb... Is a bit of a danger sign for me that I'm hiding how I really feel. But its hard to confront...

Easier on here where you are a bit anonymous, and no one is getting that they are having to deal with all your emotional fallout - which I'm sure is exhausting, poor DH :D I don't think he quite knew what he had signed up for!!

Anyway, my boobs are still not sore today, but I am queasy and exhausted, which I am taking as a good sign. Maybe other symptoms will start to return? I was so so sure it was all over, and maybe it is, but I do feel a bit more hopeful today.

In any case I am going to give up trying to make sense of my feelings as its a waste of time! :)

Abab - I have been watching some cheesy period dramas while off sick, and crying myself silly at every little thing... And crying at adverts!

Xx

Hi all, how is everyone doing today?

I am still testing positive on my CB Fertility Monitor, and am now 7 days late for my period. So, I'm definitely pregnant, just not sure exactly how pregnant I am.

I saw a few toddlers/babies at the park this morning and a lot of my ambivalence is melting away.

I absolutely hate teetotaling.

Hi everyone

Moon & brooke I hope you are both feeling better today. A good cry can do the world of good. Moon have you got a scan booked or are you waiting until your 12 week scan? Sorry, I can't remember.

Bottle great news that you're still testing positive. Are you going to book an early scan to check dates? You should be able to see a heartbeat reliably at around 6 weeks I think.

Beautiful day again here today. Yesterday we took ds to our local national trust property to run around, he loves it there as there are lots of different sorts of ground to explore. We just have to trundle around after him! Today I think dh will have to take him to the park as I have hoovering and mopping to do (I don't manage to get these done during the week with him around). Of course if I'd got my act together early and got it all done I'd be able to go to the park too...

Watched the rugby last night, it was awful. Can't believe they are out already but playing like that they didn't deserve to stay in. Roll on the 6 nations

I've decided I think this baby is a girl. I've been getting the odd-over full / burpy / indigestiony / sicky feeling sometimes after eating which I didn't get before. I'm also not so hungry as last time - ergo this is a girl. We shall see!

I hope everyone else is having a great weekend.