Pregnancy glamour overload...

[Baguettes]

I have just picked a fight with DH regarding his bloody stinky feet. We are not talking. I am now lying stretched out on the sofa like a blimp, farting and burping. I am wearing leggings with a hole in the knee and another one developing in the crotch area. No bra. I need a bath. Considering a bowl of Rice Krispies for dinner.

Would anyone like to stake a claim to being more glamorous / sexy than me this evening?

[RockerMummy184]

Thought I'd make the effort today and get myself presentable to go shopping. I dampened my hair to calm the flyaways did my hair, got dressed (into fully ironed attire!) and headed for the shop. I realised after the stifling 15min car journey that I'd forgot deodorant and am still stinking from last night's 'non-bath'. The thought was there....

[Sleepybeanbump]

Pissing myself laughing at this thread! Well, actually not, but since I'm only 14 weeks I'm sure I have that to look forward to!

I have been a state of continual glamour for the last 5 days due to contracting fucking flu (can someone please tell my immune system times summer!) My preferred look has been- snot encrusted nose, with a dollop of sudocrem on the end of it, hacking gagging noises, red spots, pyjama bottoms, a vest top that is too big and no bra, so one boob is often half hanging out.

Dh is banished to the spare room because sleeping with me would be like sleeping with an asthmatic cat with furballs. I'm not sure what he's most concerned about - the fact that if I look this shit now, what will I look like later, or the fact that having to get through flu with virtually no meds has led to so much moaning and misery that he's probably seriously doubting my fitness to deal with childbirth.

[Sleepybeanbump]

Yes! Those stupid wee pots! I was given my first one and rather sheepishly asked 'what, straight in there?'

I thought I must be particularly incompetent at weeing to be thinking 'where the fuck is the jug?!'

I have a kitchen funnel! Maybe I'll take it next time

[RockerMummy184]

sleepy you just reminded me... the other day DS (2) had a good inspection of my strange half greasy and spotty, half dry and flaky face, pointed at the huge amount of dry skin covering my nose and shouted 'ergh mummy, bogies!'. Thanks matey!

[dinodiva]

I'm a bit jealous of those of you who are able to lie about just wearing pants. I don't imagine that look would go down too well for me at work! I have worn my maternity shorts today though to combat the thigh sweating and knicker rash that I seem to get on hot days wearing skirts that causes me to waddle around like John Wayne. I have also started farting involuntarily, usually whilst waiting for lifts in silence or moving from 'stop' to 'walk'.
I am DREADING my commute home.

[NickyEds]

dino ALL pregnant women should be allowed to go home immediately. On specially cleared buses/trains/traffic lanes.

[IBelieveInPink]

I am currently trying to make myself vaguely presentable as I am booked in for an elcs tomorrow, and I don't want them to redirect me to the vets when I rock up.

Might have to wear something other than dh's shorts in order to do that though. And perhaps consider a bra....

[Boosiehs]

Oh lord you have all made me LoL!

I am only 10 weeks and trumping like a goodun. It's a good thing that its work in the office day today or else I would have been at home lying about in not very much feeling sick and trumping.

I was 40wks in August with DS1 - I feel your pain for the heat ladies and heartily recommend snickers ice cream bars. :)

[Boosiehs]

NickyEds yes please!!

[Hippymama1]

I'm wondering if a Magnum lolly might take the edge off of all this hideousness.

I've already had a Mini Twister lolly but it is getting warmer and therefore might be time to break out the heavy artillery.

[RockerMummy184]

How did the Magnum work Hippy? I've stolen one of DSs rocket lollies, currently waiting for bed time so I can steal another without him protesting because he's not allowed 2 a day.

[NickyEds]

just texted dp and told him not to come home without a Mint Magnum. I reckon he's sufficiently scared of being called upon to have sex he'll do just about anything else!

[scarednoob]

see, I used to like the mint magnums.

then I discovered the glorious beauty that is the RASPBERRY ONES. do it. you won't regret it.

[Alittlebitofeverything]

This has made me laugh so hard today I almost tested the boundary of my pelvic floor so I thought I'd join in...

To pint a picture I have returned from work where I was semi presentable, went to lie in the garden, stripped off into my grey bra and pants (husband had an accident with the washing splitting, his punishment is my ugly underwear!) sweating, drinking non alcoholic cider and a Mars ice cream which has now begun to melt and drip all over me.. I resemble something that washes up on a beach that scientists have to do tests on to find out what it is!!

[Alittlebitofeverything]

Oh and I've just looked up and there is a massive possibility my neighbours can see me.. I don't even care, beauty like this should be shared!!

[Baguettes]

I couldn't wear shorts today because I haven't shaved my legs for five weeks.

[Baguettes]

Mint magnum, you say...

[NickyEds]

Might have to have a raspberry one and a mint one!

Getting past caring about people seeing me in a state. I think I must permanently have a "YES I AM WEARING THIS...... AND YOUR PROBLEM IS??.." look on my face.

[NickyEds]

I deserve two magnums any way- had a phone call from mw earlier to book in for a stretch and sweep at 41 weeks ("just in case" she said). There are a lot of days between now and then on my calender. I just can't stay this pregnant for that many days. Boo.

[sophiaslullaby]

This is the funniest thread I've read in ages but you have all made me pee myself -i have that glamour nailed. Worst was one morning when throwing up....DH came home and asked why i'd bothered doing a small wash of only a pair of legging and a pair of knickers.

[Hippymama1]

Sorry for the delay ladies - I was taking a nap, also known as roaring away to myself on the sofa while simultaneously dribbling.

I can confirm a Magnum as a wise choice. I'm usually not that into Magnums and am going to use the last days of this pregnancy to sample as many different types as possible.

DH has just offered to hose me down to cool me off and play with my nipples to see if that gets labour started. He's a keeper.

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

I love this thread. I'm only 14 weeks so have all this to look forward to.