2nd time around

[Herb]

I am currently 7 months pregnant. We are really looking forward to No 2 arrival. In particular both my friend (who is 6 months pregnant)& I am getting fed up with being refered to as huge - if you are talking to a pregnant Mum are a Toddler group or activity, try having a little tact!

Malmomum - do you mean you're having your scan after the recommended gestation?

Sorry - should of explained - I have a lot of info on nuchal scans as part of my job so if you could give me some more information I'll see if I can help.

Thanks for replying dm2, I was in a bit of pee'd off state yesterday. I'm in a different system here in Sweden where nuchals are still new. But still part of the system.

I have been knocking on doors since about 7 weeks pg trying to get this scan set up. Partic when found the waiting list was 3 weeks and most midwives, who could refer me, could only fit me in at about week 10-11.

Finally got a scan yesterday when I was 14 weeks, 3 days so I was beyond the standard data for these things. The girl doing the scan was pretty sympathetic and felt that all looked well. She had a go fiddling the dates so we got a guesstimate of 1:165 for my age only, adjusted to 1:1100 including the readings.

This sounds pretty encouraging but I feel a bit rocked around. What is your opinion?

Malmomum - I did a search of the current literature last night (insomnia isn't all bad), and all the references are for scanning between 10 and 14 weeks so I can only tell you my opinion rather than any proper studies IYKWIM.

Assuming your dates are acccurate (or that the baby was 'dated' by measuring his/her size by the scan) then you were only 3 days past the threshold. Obviously, with such a reduction in your risk, your baby's nuchal fold thickness was within the normal range (not enlarged), therefore it is pretty unlikely that it was bigger 3 days earlier.
As with all of biology, it's not an exact science, however much all the machines etc. make it seem so accurate, so if I were in your position I would feel reassured by the scan.

Remember that even with a 1:165 risk you still have a much greater chance that your baby is normal than that it isn't.

If you are still worried you could decide to 'pretend' the scan didn't happen and that your risk is still 1:165, in which case you may want to consider Chorionic villus sampling/amniocentesis to give you a definite answer (although with a slight miscarriage risk). It's a hard choice I know, and only you know how you feel about each option.
I'll scout about a bit more for some references once ds has a nap.

HTH

Thanks for the feed back, i should be sleeping. My gut instinct is to go with the info we have and leave it at that and dh is happy with that too.

I needed some perspective on it and feel better for it. Many thanks.

Hi all, it's me again.....I'm now 20 weeks into pregnancy No2 and still feeling no movements. I've got an appointment on Friday at the hospital to see my 'new' ante-natal consultant. So hopefully they can put my mind at ease. Regarding the blood tests I was waiting on.....I rang them & chased up an answer, turned out they FORGOT to do the downs blood screening....but called me in that day to re-take blood & rush the test through! (got result yesterday - all ok).

I know they say all pregnancies are different but I wasn't expecing me to be so different in my views & worries..I feel I'm worrying so much more this time round. About the pregnancy, the birth, the thought of coping with a new baby and a 2yr old toddler! I really am fretting MORE THIS TIME, I thought I'd find it all so much easier as I knew what would be happening...I'm finding it all such a horible experience this time, which then makes me feel guilty, suppose the baby picks up on my negative feelings?

Dixie, glad the test was ok. Im feeling the same as you. Hormones got the better of me the other day and I just cried at everything. It does feel different, your not looking everything up because youve been there before. When I start feeling it move and see it when we go for our scan it will feel real. At the moment I just feel sick and tired with a stinking cold. Good luck with the new consultant. All the mums who have offered reasurrance on this thread cant be wrong and everything will be fine.

My 2 dds are 22 months apart, and I have to say I found the first 12 months very difficult. Eldest dd was a 'dream' baby, very easy to look after, happy, slept, ate etc, youngest was exactly the opposite, and I felt worse because I had expected to be able to cope with the baby much better. As she has grown up, it has become apparent that she is simply a much more demanding individual, and always will be.
I am not trying to worry anyone with this gap, more to let them know that not everyone finds number 2 easier! I have to say though, that 4 years down the line, the children are great friends, chose to share a room (they were in separate rooms) and are now in consecutive yrs at school, so have many similar school friends. Those early difficulties were definately worth it!

Just to put another side - I also have 22 months age gap, but my second was the easy baby. The first 9 months were much easier than I expected, (though pregnancy was tough). The hard year was 9 - 21 months - i.e. when the baby is mobile, but not yet communicating, and the toddler is not yet old enough to be mature about his baby brother spoiling his jigsaw/trainset, whatever ...

But yes, it is great in the medium term to have them close together. Mine are 2.5 and 4.5 now, and play nicely most of the time.

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I am a single Mum and there is a 2 1/2 yr age gap between my son and daughter. This is not what you are going to want to hear, but having had a very easy 1st child (aged 18)my second has been very differentand very difficult. She became easier at 8 months, but at 10 months she is still very demanding and still not sleeping through. It does have an affect on my sons behaviour at times and I have found the whole thing quite difficult,but...I wouldn't change a thing. My daughter is becoming a real character, and I just love having the two of them - I think the 2 1/2 year age gap worked well (although I would have chosen to have them a little closer) and family life (once you get used to the tiredness is wonderful. I think, eventually your body adapts to lack of sleep...

I'm only 5 weeks pregnant and no-one knows yet!

My last pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and although I already have lovely children I was quite depressed afterwards.

Feeling very anxious and worried this time, although I feel sick too which I'm taking as a positive sign of a healthy pregnancy.

I'M SO SCARED!!! I don't think I could cope with another miscarriage. Comfort and support needed.

Hi - just joining this topic for the first time. Thinking of trying for no 2 now-ish - not worried about age gap or sex of child etc BUT am very worried about birth second time round having had a bit of a trial first time. Waters broke early, admitted for induction 40 hours later but went into spontaneous labour anyway. Ended up having an abruption, nearly losing my son and losing alot of blood. All great now (hospital was amazing) but wanting to see if this has happened to anyone reading this and what kind of birth they had second time round. Is it possible to have a natural delivery? Obviously I will ask doctor all this but wanted to get first hand histories.

Earlydays - our messages overlapped so just seen yours! Congratulations on your pregnancy!!

I have been very cheered reading this thread. I am pregnant with no 2 (early days) and to my surprise my first emotion is panic that I wont be able to cope! Obviously everyone does get the hang of 2 eventually. I had expected the whole thing to take longer, so dd was nearly 3, but in fact, it happened first go so (fingers crossed) she will be 2 and 1/4. Its nice to know that i am not unusual as my partner is completely mystified by my reaction. Oddly, I feel much less pregnant this time, which bothers me a bit, but maybe its lack of time.
Early Days: Sympathy and congratulations in that order. I am sure you will be fine this time. So many people miscarry and then go on without problems next time. if you have children already it does not sound as though you have a recurrent problem. I gather the heartbeat can be heard earlier second time around, that might spare you a few weeks anxiety.

Congrats to both Earlydays and CathB

Earlydays... I hope all will go well for you - will you keep us posted ? I am sure you are doing everything you can to ensure that this pregnancy will go well : eating and resting a lot....

CathB...You'll cope with 2 - you won't have a choice anyway and probably won't have time to worry about it... how many weeks are you ? I am sure symptoms will kick in soon !

Well done both of you.
Earlydays, fibgers crossed for you everything goes ok, take care.
CathB, if I wasnt feeling sick all the time I wouldnt feel pregnant either and I feel guilty about that as all I thought about was the pregnancy with ds. I have also missed some of my folic acid with everything being so hectic and
I feel guilty about that, as if I dont care about this one (Im sure I forgot a couple of times first time round). I think all the worry comes with being a mum and Id be more worried if I didnt worry, if that makes sense.

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Joe1. Thany you! I am glad I am not the only one who forgets the odd folic acid, followed by wave of guilt. Its not even as if I can even leave them somewhere I could remember by falling over them, as they would then not be out of the reach of children... I think you can only fit so much in your short term memory.
Pupuce. I am (I think) nearly 8 weeks and now exploding out of my bra, so something hormonal is happening. I had forgotten quite how much I hate maternity bras.. I am sure some enterprising designer could do firm support and not ugly in the same garment.

CathB, you mean you havent seen the animal print ones in Blooming Marvellous?! (Think it was them).

Ems- Animal print! Sounds excellent, I shall investigate!

I DONT LIKE BEING SICK

Lill and all, just found out yesterday we're expecting no 2! Been trying since Sept and wasn't sure as I felt all the usual signs of a period just about to start. A nice surprise for Valentine's Day!

Now for the worry bit - I can worry for England - I know what foods to avoid now I'm pregnant but between conception time and yesterday I had been eating the wrong kind of cheeses and am panicking about listeria and I had a bad cold just over a week ago and was dosing up on Lemsip Max Strength. I need reassurance that I've done no damage to little blob, please!

Congrats Jodee..... Another exciting time ahead... please try not to worry toooooo much
What I am going to say next is going to horrify some - so close your eyes if you are easly shocked.. I ate all sorts of cheeses throughout my pregnancy. See I am not British... and countries I have lived in or am very familiar with are not nearly as restrictive on cheese for pregnant mums as the Brits.
When I was pregnant with DS, I met a French gyneacologist at a wedding... and we started comparing "care" of pregnant mums. He told me that he (and they) don't stop mums from eating cheese... And God knows how much variety they have. If concerned he would say not to eat the crust/outside layer.
If you had contracted listeria - I am no expert so maybe need to check - you would already be sick.
Can't advise on the other drugs.