Best shit place grads # 2- still pregnant after miscarriage

[GuybrushThreepwoodMP]

Another thread ladies

Mrsj I'm so sorry that you're having To go through this again xx. Life is just not fair sometimes.

Oh god, I know Sasha and if you feel there is hope then there is. I'm only speaking from my own experience. When my scan at 9+3 weeks showed pregnancy measuring 6 weeks, I just rationalised. If I'd really been 6 weeks, I would have got my bfp a week before conception. A couple of friends tried to say maybe the measurement was wrong, maybe I ovulated later etc etc. Sending me links to positive stories. But I couldn't bear it. I just had to assume it was a mc because I didn't see any way it could be anything else; the alternatives just seemed to unlikely. The possible hope was too upsetting and confusing.
But you deal with this however you need to. A 1.6mm is indeed very small and too small for a heartbeat. If there is a chance you are under 6 weeks then of course you might see a heartbeat in a week. Only you know your cycle and you have to feel however you feel. I'm sorry- I didn't mean you should give up hope if you feel there is hope. I just wanted to give the opposing view to keys, because when I was going through mc, people telling me there was still hope and everything would be ok just made me more upset.

ms I am sure they can come to some sort of arrangement huni so please dont get upset over that they will be so understanding and will try and get you in after the nursery drop off. My heart literally goes out to you it really does.
I've had all symptoms like you as well with the bleeds and just not feeling pregnant. :(. No hb detected on last scan Im preparing for the worst on friday as well. My only hope is that it would of started coming away by now if no hb has ever been detected.
Ive never experienced the op hun only ever the natural way they've never given me the choice I suppose where i've always had early m/c.
On a more positive note huni I hope DS has a lovely time starting nursery.
thinking of you xxx

Guybrush I found the hardest thing for me was that because the epu hadn't said that it was definitely over, that DP really did still think that meant it could still work out. Because I had the physical stuff to go through I knew it was over before he did, but he just took a little longer to give up hope.

You just feel how you feel, don't you.

GuybrushThreepwoodMP Everyone has their own views, experiences and stories I completely understand where your coming from.
To be fair I was trying to stay upbeat and positive but from my own personal experience unfortunately they was right and I m/c naturally but what I was saying was I searched and searched google for answers for reassurance and you did hear of miracle stories

Sasha Sorry pressed post to quickly. Guy is right in what she says by you how feel how you want to feel. We've all been there some more than once which is why this is such a good forum to give advice and support. When I had my m/c I held on to the miracle stories until it happened. But I didnt have anybody saying to me all will be ok if you see what I mean I held onto that hope and thats how I coped.
But others I can see how this would not of been their way of coping. Thats why I think *guy has given the best advice by saying you need to feel how you feel and we are all here to give you all the support you need. Big hugs hun xx

girl They said to me on my scan to expect the m/c to happen soon. They never said to me I could of got dates wrong etc they just said expect the m/c to happen within the next few days. So I can imagine how that would confuse you and how you would find that hard because your still in limbo. I am suprised they didnt do bloods just to check the levels.

I think we all develop our own coping mechanisms for these things. The waiting game is the worst, because no matter what the evidence shows you always want to have that glimmer of hope that you will be one of the "miracle" cases. It took 3 weeks to have my last mc confirmed - a private scan then a follow up a week later, and then NHS refusing to see me until a week after my second scan because of protocol. The whole time I was swinging between thinking the positive to thinking it was all over!

Sasha one think I would say is that when I had my scan at 7+1 last time my sac was measuring 6 weeks and there was no fetal pole. Even then the sonographer did not say all was lost, and it was not uncommon not to get a definitive answer at 7 weeks. In the end it didn't work out for me, but I hadn't developed a fetal pole so there may be some hope for you, but you know better than anyone else how you feel inside. X

keys The epu took blood and it was quite low, but I think DP was sort of still confused by the + I was getting on tests not getting fainter for a while. And also I didn't really have heavy bleeding at first, and it was early on I went to the epu, so it wasn't really conclusive until it had kept up for a few days.

It's different for everyone isn't it, the important thing is that there is someone around to look after you.

Girl Yes thats the most important thing is that you've got support and people looking after you. My family were so supportive from what I can remember. I think when I got scaned there was nothing left only my uterus being thicker so the pregnancy had already started breaking down. My bloods came back at 96 or something like that. I remember laying in bed that night reading all I could for hours and OH saying to me come on babe you've been told what's going to happen I just didnt want to go through it all again and believe it was happening. But until the bleed started I held on to the miracle stories that was my way of coping both times but my friends and family especially OH knew it was coming and i had loads of support.
Can see why you was confused at your scan though because some links say you can detect a hb until over 7 weeks others say 9 then you get it as early as 5 weeks so it can all be very confusing and emotional place to be.
The best advice the epu gave me was to step away from google.

sasha had the cbdigi said 2-3 weeks for a while? my understanding of the cb digi is u add 2 weeks on.

im not trying to get your hopes up really i arent but could you have just got your dates a bit out?

its upto you how you go into this, i had a 2wk wait between my scans when i mmc'd. the first week i convinced myself i was fine, not really any bleeding or cramping or anything but by the second week id given up hope so was expecting the news i got at rescan. dont think it hurts any less though.

mrsj it sounds like they are getting you in quick, i would just try and focus on wednesday afternoon when it will all be over just a thought as well if this is your 3rd hopefully with the erpc they will be able to take things (sorry didnt know what to call it without causing upset / offence) away for testing which could mean your next pregnancy has more chance.

sasha dont blame you for having a drink hun. When having another LO it helps so much there cuddles and kisses.

My consultant has said to me if I mc again (this will be my third aswell) then they start running checks on me to see what could be causing them. My friend had multiple ones one after another then she held her DS and now shes about to give birth to a dd no mc in between. Funny how it works sometimes hun but it has happened for a reason as heartbreaking as it is.

I think next time you fall pregnant they will keep close checks on you.

Hey Sasha, if it's any consolation my Mum was similar just now, bright and breezy and subject-changing . I was hurt but I guess when it happened before it was right in front of her so she couldn't ignore it. This is definitely more her usual style. I nearly walked out too. Hope the beer goes down well. It is so hard to get through this period of not knowing. I think you are doing the right thing by assuming the worst but holding out a little hope just in case.

I have started passing some clots, I guess I will still have the op though. I might have passed the sac by then though. This is my second mc, my first was in hospital so they did check what I'd passed and it was all normal. Trying to think what to tell work. DS will be ok and we have done lots of settling in but I just wanted to be there on his first proper day. I've taken a co-dydramol as starting to feel a bit crampy.

I'm completely heartbroken for the losses this group is suffering. Our lovely little group. No one deserves it.. its so cruel and unfair and unjust.

Fwiw. The not knowing if it was over for weeks had to be the worst. I'm utterly terrified of surgery but when my first round of methotrexate didn't work I had wished of gone for the op as then it'd have been definitely finished.

Sending out so much love xxx

I don't have any words of comfort, I don't think there are any at a time like this. Just know we're all thinking of you and hoping you've got lots of love and support

Just caught up with the thread and my heart is aching. Such a cruel and painful thing. I'm so sorry msJ and sasha I know there are no words to help right now. Just hand holding and listening from everybody here xx

Still 4 weeks to my scan. Ages.

So so sorry to hear your news sasha and Mrs J.

I have no words to say, as I really just think there arn't any words in these circumstances .

Morning everyone.

MrsJ and sasha again big hugs this morning.

I'm so sorry if this sounds a little insensitive because of what mrsj and sasha are going through. But can anyone tell me when you roughly got your first midwife appointment through and the scan date? I really need to talk to a midwife because if this baby does not hold I need to know how safe it is to carry a baby with a kink in the womb I dont know if its whats causing me all the trouble im having now.
Also I have a scan booked in for Friday but been bleeding heavily in the night no clots but I just dont feel right. Do you think there see me today? Whos the best person to call the epu as I am already regisitered with them or my GP? Sorry for early message im just very worried.

keys if you've been bleeding, I would call epu and try and get a scan in today.
With regards to other questions, I had to make booking in appointment with midwife myself by calling my gp reception. My gp also had to do the referral to get me booked in on the system for the scan. I saw gp at 5 weeks and then got scan date through at 6 weeks. But all places are different so worth calling gp and asking them what the procedure is.
But I think you should push for a scan before Friday, definitely. Sorry you have this worry.

Morning all.

keys I would give the epu a call and see if they can see you earlier. hope everything will be ok.
re booking in, it seems to depend according to area. I had my booking in yesterday and got my 12 week scan on 5 may.

msj and sasha thinking of you.

Sasha and MsJ thinking of you both

Keys i also agree try EPU to get seen earlier. Hope you are ok in my area if you call the docs theu give you the contact number for MW and tell you just to contact them. They gave me an app for Monday at 10w, they would normally then send off for 12w scan app which would come through post, however the hospital said yesterday they would try and book it for me as early as possible!

Keys I agree with the others. Try and get seen by EPU.

I was due to have my pre-op blood test but have started having pains similar to last time so I suspect it is going to all happen soon. I hope it's not as bad. Definite contractions coming and going like before. They said to come in later for the blood test instead. I'm at my mum's so she is looking after DS.

If you had SMM/ERPC, did you have a pessary/drugs beforehand it was everything done under GA?