Best shit place grads # 2- still pregnant after miscarriage

[GuybrushThreepwoodMP]

Another thread ladies

sasha im sorry youre going through a difficult time. i dnt know about fetal pole size but at 5+5 they wouldnt always see a heartbeat so that bits positive. i dont think there is any harm in keeping a bit of hope.

was yours a private scan? when i had my mmc the experenced sonographer was quite sure i would mc. i think if they havent said that then there is a chance.

jupiter wishing you all the best. hope you are ok

So sorry to hear that Sasha. When I mc I was heartbroken. DH didn't cry or anything but I knew he was really upset because he was so so excited when we got the bfp. I found that really difficult to deal with.
Just remember you didn't do anything to cause this.

I don't know what fetal poles are supposed to measure.. is it possible you're dates are mega out, esp as it can be up to 5 days out? Could you have ovulated much later?

If you aren't bleeding or cramping I think that there is always a chance . A miracle. . Do you have a date for your next scan. It's hard. I don't wish to get your hopes up nor crash your dreams. X

So so sorry Sasha. In my mc last autumn I had tiny twin sacs. I knew my dates and knew they could not be viable, but I felt I was being strung along with maybes. I looked into it and found out that when the sac is less than a certain size (think 2cm) they cannot confirm diagnosis. This is done to avoid misdiagnosed mc in cases where women are unsure of dates, or sincerely mixed up about their dates.
I know this is is not comforting at all to hear. But it may help explain the ifs and maybe you've been given.
If this turns out to be your third mc you have the right to request tests/investigation as to possible causes.
It's so hard. Last night I thought I saw a tinge of pink. Very faint. So faint that only a pg woman obsessed with mc would notice it. Will it be the beginning of the end for the third time for me too?
It's all indescribable really.

No miracle here I'm afraid. It must have stopped growing just after my previous scan. I have to decide whether to go for the surgical route or let things take their course. They said it should be less dramatic than last time because it was so small and had already started to break down. So I don't know. I was going to go for the surgery but now I'm not sure.

Sasha I am thinking of you and your DH and right there with you.

So sorry MsJ.

Sasha I am ever so sorry. Words cant describe how sorry I am for you. If you type that into google there are so many miracle stories where they went back and hb was strong etc etc. Did they take bloods? This is where I am worrying so much because there was no hb detected on my scan thought I was 6 weeks but only measuring 5. Waiting until friday for my scan its toucher. I would have thought if baby had stop growing at 5 weeks 5 days you would of m/c by now hun as you were so early. What day next week do you have your next scan. Its so unfair it really is my heart goes out to u and OH Im just so sorry theres nothing I can say to make it better. Big hugs huni

Oh MsJ. I'm sorry. Heartbroken for you. X

so so sorry mrsj my heart is with you as well. At least you and sasha can support each other through this heartbreaking time. Im devastated for you both. I just cant believe it :(.

MsJ I'm sorry. I wish this hadn't happened.

God. It's so fucking unfair.

Sasha There is definitely hope hun just try and stay strong it must be so so hard. A HB was not detected on my scan last tuesday either and when she said I will book you in for 10 days time and sent me off I was like so thats it then. Whats next. How am I going to get through the next 10 days. Every cramp every bleed its just been awful. My heart goes out to you it really does.
They should of taken bloods for you then in two days they check levels thats the best thing to go by. I am praying for you.

As for your sister and friend its going to be a very emotional time for you watching there milestones with scan and midwife appointments etc and when they announce your be so happy for them but its understandable how sad your be and they will be sensitive towards you as well hun. But I am sure by the time their babies are born you will be expecting again so wont be as bad I promise you. Time is a massive healer as we all know it never goes away but it gets easier to deal with day to day life things.

You need to rest up now hun read up on positive stories. As it stands the pg test is still positive and as someone posted whilst theres no cramps or bleeding there still a little bit of hope.

Big hugs lovely xxx

Hmm. I sometimes think that hope can be the hardest thing. With my mmc, I knew my dates couldn't be out enough to make everything ok so I tried not to read positive stories or hold out hope. You should just allow yourself to feel however you feel.

Hope can be a horrible bastard. I think though it doesn't matter how much you try either to keep up hope or not get hopes up, there will be part of you doing both anyway. Fwiw I would try and get away early from work to be with DH. It's hard when you're feeling so differently from each other but just being in the same house seems important to him. I can understand your instinct to carry on as normal though.

I am leaning towards the surgical management as at least then I know when things will happen. I've asked my mum to come round this afternoon, I'm dreading telling her.

I am devastated for you both I really am. I am sitting here in tears. Life so unfair sometimes to such lovely people. xx I know when I had my scan when I did mc I did search and search for stories but you know in your heart of hearts.

FWIW MsJ, I would opt for surgical. A natural mc is grim and uncertain. Surgery is over quickly which means you can start to heal emotionally much sooner.

That's what I thought, thanks Guy. It was only because they said it was already breaking down I thought maybe I should wait. But I don't want the uncertainty and I'm hoping maybe the bleeding won't last as long after surgery as it went on for at least a month after the last time.

Sasha I am so sorry to hear your news.

MsJ Again, so sorry.

It's so unfair.

Sasha and msJ I am so sorry to both of you ?? literally in floods of tears thinking of you both.

as for surgical vs natural I had to choose the pessarys as I couldn't beat to go through it naturally (just wanted to know when it would be) and I don't want to be put under anaesthetic. I started to bleed the fri had scan sat and they confirmed it then booked in Monday and I genuinely feel that was the best choice for us.. Maybe discuss with your partner too?

Thinking of you all x

So sorry for the bad news today msJ. Thinking of you too sasha

MsJ I am so so sorry. I honestly cannot put into words how sad I'm feeling for you. This is just such an unfair thing to happen everytime it does. I am thinking of both you and sasha.

I remember from mine, that period of uncertainty, not knowing is just the worst. I just wanted to KNOW. I knew in my heart of hearts that it was not to be but still a part of me clung on.

To you x

Oh my word Sasha and MsJ i am so so sorry. I don't know what to say i am devastated for the both of you. I can only hope that you both have the best treatment and care to help such a difficult time. I am thinking of you both and again so sorry xxx

mrsj that is heartbreaking i am so sorry. my thoughts are with you.

regards to natural or surgical, mine looked like it was breaking down and i still carried it for a further 3 weeks with lots of complications.

It is your decision what is best for you but i did find the surgical thing straight forward, pain free and great for closure. i wished i had done it much sooner. also didnt bleed much at all afterwards.

Thanks gbm, you and Guy have confirmed what I was thinking so I've just rung them. They said to come for a pre assessment tomorrow and then the op early on Weds. Only thing is I will miss dropping DS off for his first ever morning at nursery, which has just made me cry. Maybe we can work it out somehow.