The best shit place to be grads - Early pregnancy after miscarriage - hopes and fears

[Gr33dyeggs]

So heres a thread. Hope you all find it!

Congrats we've made it this far

My worry at 5 weeks is I just feel apathetic and numb. Not excited, not looking forward. Not even fear. Just.... nothing. Constant knicker watch.

Plus wondering whether to push for an early scan and if so when? Losses were 9 and 11 weeks.

Hi Guy

Yeah, thats true, but its next week, and scared its too early to see anything, also I had an early scan last time when all was fine, so dont think I will actually find it very reassuring!

I need a bit of hand holding today. On Monday I had some very light brown discharge. Managed to convince myself that it was just old blood and causedby all the stretching going on.
This morning when I wiped there was a bit more. The sensible rational part of my brain says that its all ok, button know how it is after MC. That's being drowned out by all the negative thoughts.
Got a scan on Tuesday anyway but it's going to be a long long wait till then

north hand holding coming your way.

have you done anything that could have caused a bit of old blood to come free? too much exercise, housework? dtd?

im sure it is absolutely nothing but understand your concerns. if you are at a position where things should be clear on a scan can you contact you epu and see if u can get scanned sooner for peacr of mind?

spotting is so common it pregnancy im sure it is nothing try not to worry. if you can take a day or work and relax at home that might be a good idea.

north thinking of you, i hope the scan goes well on Tuesday. In the meantime try and remain calm (easier said than done i know) and rest if you can

Oh North I am sorry you are having this to worry about. I did have early bleeding with my first (successful) pregnancy but I know that didn't make me immune to worry the second time around. Chances are it's old blood and will stop, we are all here for handholding.

Thanks jupiter I also had some bleeding in my first pregnancy and that all turned out ok.

It was very light and there's been nothing since, so that's good.
I'm working from home today so taking it easy on the sofa.

good idea north just keep an eye on it and any problems get onto epu. sure its nothing though just one of those pregnancy things.

33 weeks here and I've been a knicker watcher throughout!

I had some cramping and spotting early on and asked for an early scan which showed all was well and really helped to relax me and help me to enjoy this time.

Confession: I haven't told dh. He's away with work and I don't feel like this is real until I actually miss my period at the weekend. Feel really strange not telling him. We always tell each other everything about our day but I failed to mention this on the phone last night. I just feel ridiculous because I'm only 12 dpo so maybe my period will just turn up anyway. I think I'll tell him when he gets home later today.

if hes home later today may aswel wait now. you could always tell a little white lie and just say you feel something is up and do a test with him there? a clearblue digi?

my dp got a bit upset when i was doing secret tests altho im not sure why tbh.

my first bfp this time was 12dpo and (embarassingly) i have been poas on ic's ever since just to see the lines get stronger

Guy I totally understand where you are coming from and in fact would have done the same as you. When does he return from working away?

Totally didn't even read that properly sorry. Yes I would wait until he comes home today :)

note to self - stop saying totally!!

ginger how many dpo are you? I have tested every day to check the darkness of my lines like a mad lady I keep telling myself I will stop on Monday at 16dpo but I think that might be porkies!

omg this is embarassing i am 7wks 3 days pregnant lol! actually think a bit further on. i last did a test at the weekend, woops! had my booking in yesterday which i didnt get to last time so a bit exciting!

the ic's are pants anyway altho the lines do deepen colour i guess lol.

I did another test this morning and was hoping the line would be much darker but it's not. So another thing to worry about. I'm going to try not to test again till Sunday now.

Going by my latest possible dates I must be at least 15DPO so would have expected a darker line by now

ginger that made me giggle! You aren't testing every day though so I think that's fair enough

MsJ what kind of tests are you using? If they are ICs I would change to something else. Mine are rubbish! In fact one showed up negative when I had a clear line on a superdrug one (luckily) or I would have thought the worst! I took another IC last night and the line is so faint yet my superdrugs are definitely getting stronger. But I'm sure I was also told that hcg doubles every 48 hours so you won't necessarily see much difference day by day. Try not to panic! x

what tests are you using? it was only the weekend just gone that i got the most strongest line identical or darker than the control line on the internet cheapies. i was 7 weeks pregnant then so about 5 weeks past ovulation lol!

i think its them cheap ones there not that good. the day i got 2-3 weeks on a cb digi the ic waw still quite feint.

Step away from the tests! You have all had a bfp. All you seem to be doing is worrying whether lines are darker which won't help anyway due to different batches and dyes etc! Just plain old worry like I am

I've got to 14 weeks this time (14+4 today) and I still can't get excited about it. 4 m/c all before 13 weeks, so DH etc think I can relax now we're past that magical point, but I can't. There are still so many things that go wrong.

now i have had the darkest line i have give in, i know frm mmc even if something has happened without me knowing id still get bfps for a while anyway so pointless really. altho it is a nice feeling when you see those two lines

14+4 wow tht is good. i imagine its hard to ever relax after mc but your dp is right this is further than you have been before so take some time to enjoy the moment. you will be at your next scan before you know it (easily said i know)!

countess mc really takes away your innocence doesn't it? But you've got to 14 weeks which is a really good stage and the statistics look great from now on for you! It's so hard to let yourself get excited though. So sorry for your losses. Miscarriage is an absolute cunt.

Internet cheapies are a big stinky pile of old poo. Got a good strong line on FRER yesterday and total negative with IC with exactly the same pot of wee.
I'm now not feeling as nauseous as I was yesterday so worrying about that.
This is going to be the longest few weeks of my entire fucking life. How am I going to survive?
I've got a job interview tomorrow. Think I might be a bit distracted.

Sorry, that was a bit sweary.

I have had successful pregnancies as well, I'm lucky. But its been quite a while since a good one and with several m/c since. Trying to relax now but its hard!

I think after what we have been through its gunna be impossible not to worry no matter what anyone says or how far we are, I think I will just have to accept that it is out of my hands.

mmc has also shown me the downside of positive tests in pregnancy so really... I don't know why I am bothering to keep testing!

Guy I cancelled an interview I had today. I wasn't 'feeling' the job anyway and I woke up really sickly and just thought... nope... I do have an interview next Saturday and the Monday just after and both are jobs I really want. I just hope MS doesn't kick in big time as I was wiped out last time.

I am also so drained of energy. Early nights and 'nodding off' on the couch. I'm sure my symptoms didn't start properly until at least 5-6 weeks last time. Now is this a good thing or a bad thing... who knows!

I'm gunna try to stop whinging anyway haha. My next milestone is going to be getting through Saturday without a period. Little steps!