We're posifrickintive! Another posifrickintivity thread for pregnancy after miscarriage

[CommanderShepard]

Last thread ended with a series of Really Good News, so let's hope this one keeps up the trend!

Sorry to hear that poco, take good care of yourself.

treacle I've had really vivid dreams not about miscarrying but about something really upsetting that happened during my first mmc and my counsellor has advised that your sub conscious relates your current stresses back to the last time you felt like this and that comes through in dreams. So whilst upsetting it is, try to remember it's just your mind playing tricks on you.

I have the start of a cold (which is amazing considering I'm never out the house and am taking so many vitamins you could sink a ship) - concerned about it getting worse as don't want my body to sap all the nutrients that the baby needs at this early stage...

Cava have you had the flu jab? We are so susceptible to everything when pg, it's a good idea to have it. I only did this week and kicking myself for waiting so long

So sorry poco. Sending you big hugs and warm thoughts

No littlelady I haven't, I may look into it this week. Ok sunbathing I'm blaming you ...hopefully it'll not amount to anything and just give me even more justification to lie on the sofa doing nothing over than fight off my cold

Ok. I now regret saying I wasn't very symptomy. Now really nauseous after one of my favourite meals. But at my mum's (she doesn't know) so trying very hard to get it to pass!

Hope that happens to me Doctor. I've felt basI call normal today save for irritability! Sure boobs are deflating. Convinced myself it's a non starter even though I took another clear blue and it still says 3+. Didn't they used to go up to 5 weeks?

Thanks ladies x
Doctordonna, i had a moment of that earlier. Severe nausea before dinner.

6 weeks tomorrow, yay! :)

Re symptoms, echoing sunbathing I know it's not reassuring but I've never had strong symptoms before weeks 7-8, and my symptoms on my MC2 pregnancy were far worse than this time around, which is going fine so far (14w and counting!) It's taught me at least to take symptoms with a pinch of salt as an indication of how the pregnancy is going. You just can't tell.

Hi all. Still pretty symptomless here. Still fearing the worst. On top of that I have had my head down the loo most of the day but it's definitely a bug and not morning sickness. Bit miserable. Def need some positive vibes

worried try and look after yourself whether it is a bug or MS (or both) you need to try and keep hydrated. I'm 11 weeks tomorrow and have my first scan booked for a week on Tuesday. Petrified! But what will be will be. Signs are so far good. Another weekend ruined by a migraine

Sorry you feel ill too happy.

I've been resting in bed most of the day. My temp is over 38 degrees which is worrying me. I'm drinking water but have thrown most of it back up. Also trying to keep cool. DS (3) has been so sweet bringing me his teddies and his Mr Potato head "in case I feel better and want something to play with"

Sorry to hear about some of you being very sick! I hope it passes soon.
I just seem to have a fair bit of nausea, pressure in my abdomen and strange feeling boobs.

I'm feeling odd about an early scan. Though. I've had them before with no issues but I seem to be overly anxious about an internal scan for some reason. I will have to have them anyway because my cervix is measured all the way through pregnancy.

Sending out positive vibes worried! I think a weaker immune system is a symptom unfortunately and we pick up everything. Especially with toddlers! This too shall pass and today we are pregnant x

Lost you for a bit! Just marking my place - will read through and post something later!

Hi Tori,

Didn't want to read and run. I'm glad you posted about how your feeling. I've been tearful this week about the little one we lost (which would have been due April 15th). I think the 20 week scan set me off a bit; seeing a healthy boy was wonderful and we're so looking forward to meeting him but it brought home that this boy is not the girl we lost last year (in my heart I know she was a girl as odd as that might sound).

I'm sorry your DP has upset you. Maybe he was doing the thing a lot of guys do of focusing on the pragmatic and practical as a way of protecting himself from the flood of emotions associated with the miscarriage? If you talked to him again there might be a difference between the thoughts and emotions that he's choosing to focus on versus the ones he might have buried to get through the situation? Maybe you could decide to do something as a couple to mark the EDD of the baby you lost? Buying a plant or even a specially teddy for the bump to enjoy when they're born from the little one that was before. I want to do something on my first due date - not sure what at the moment!

Sending hugs tori. I think most of us, if not all, can totally identify with your feelings. It's natural to feel sad for the baby you've lost so don't ever feel guilty for doing so. That baby will always be part of you. It's coming up to a year since I lost our baby and we will be planting something in a prominent position in our garden on his anniversary. (phryn, I believe our baby was a boy, it's definitely a mummy's intuition and something that's helped me). I hope to tell dd and this baby I'm having now about him in the future, when they're old enough to understand.

More hugs Tori I should have been due on January 9 but never mentioned it to my dp, he's very much in the practical, pragmatic man group & doesn't want to talk about the baby we lost. After the eprc he pretty much asked me to draw a line under it & not to talk about it. While it did annoy me at the time, he did say something months afterwards that made me realise how much it did devastate him. I've accepted that that's his way, it hasn't stopped me thinking about it or doing my own thing to remember. Hope you're ok xx

Hi Tori I know it can be hurtful when your other half doesn't think of things in the same way you do. I have this A LOT with mine but on the flip side he is the bloke that when I said I was craving cake.... baked me a cake right then (victoria sponge... was ace!). Your other half will have dealt and be dealing with everything in his own way. My BF can't remember my current due date, never mind my last one!

My first due date is 20th April, however my step-sister is due on the 30th and will be induced early! I am not sure if I will do anything. The way I have dealt with my MC is that there was nothing there, no baby (blighted ovum). It really hurt emotionally and still does but my baby wasn't there, my body just thought it was... it might seem cold but I also know that with MC there is no 'right' way to feel. You just feel.

Today we are pregnant! we won't forget what came before but right now everything is ok

Tori it's also my edd for mc3 on Valentine's day and I have been feeling a bit sad too, especially as I have two close friends due that week who are starting maternity leave now and have plans to do stuff together. I know dh wouldn't understand. He doesn't think of the mcs as lost babies. I respect that point of view, as I wouldn't think of an embryo as a baby either in terms of pro-choice/pro-rights arguments, but it was a potential baby, for which I had hopes and dreams. I might try and do something to mark the date, though I haven't decided what.

I get myself in an emotional muddle though as I don't feel exactly the same about each mc. I didn't get as far as due dates for mc1 which was a chemical pregnancy and can't make myself feel retrospectively sad for that lost baby, although it feels unfair not to, in a way. The edd for mc2 was dd's birthday which I don't want to taint with sadness. Mc3 hit me the hardest, even though it in many ways was more expected and less of a shock than mc2 which was an mmc. It's the one that made me feel something was really wrong and I might never have my longed-for dc2. I feel my lost babies were boys. I have an unproven and probably unscientific theory that I maybe just can't carry boys, so they are the sons that will never be. I even had names I was mulling over for the last two and I sometimes think of them with those names, but I haven't got a name for mc1.

lurker, I had a friend who had seven mc () and after three, she had tests - every single one of the ones she lost were boys. She does however have three not polite, friendly or pleasant girls, so your theory may very well be correct.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. Are we due some babies popping soon?

Lurker my boss believes the same about her SIL. She has had 3 mc and 3 successful pregnancies and they were all boys. She believes she just can't carry girls. No evidence to back that up though.

I am feeling rubbish today after having my worst day yet on Saturday, threw up multiple times, had an awful headache and could barely eat all day. After feeling a bit better on Friday it has all gone downhill again, it seems that the sickness is here to stay, just like last time.