Very Scared!

[Arkkorox]

After being up half the night reading the forum ive finaly plucked up the courage to ask you guys for some advice. Bear with me its a long one but I really need to speak to people who know.

Im pregnant and going for my first scan tomorrow - at an abortion clinic. Now this was a bit of a knee jerk panic reaction however I have a feeling that Im going to be over 24 weeks. My last bleed was in april and just for 2 days but heavy. Since then ive had no more bleeding but because of being on the large side its not odd for my periods to come and go as they please. I have had absolutley no symptoms at all, no sickness, no sore boobs, nothing. Untill 2 weeks ago when I felt incredibly bloated and then wednesday when i had a leaky nipple. Took a pregnancy test on thursday and it was positive. Went to the doctors on friday and have my scan tomorrow.

Im 25, been in a relationship with my brilliant boyfriend for 5 years. But we are terrified. Currently living appart to save up for a house depoisit but I changed jobs 2 months ago and he was made redundant a month ago. Hes with his parents and im living with my nan as she sometimes needs help in the night if she falls etc.

If im correct in counting from my bleed in april that would put me at about 27 weeks.... so possibly no going back now! Which Im not entirely dissapointed about and neither is my OH, hes been lovely and less panicky than me!

My biggest issue is telling my parents. My mum is going to totaly flip and I dont want to ruin our good relationship especialy this close to christmas. Please say someone else has been in my shoes? Im so scared its going to ruin everything!!!!

Your mum will get her head around the situation in a day or two!! My dad used to tell me when I was in my teens and twenties that I should never be afraid to tell him I was pregnant. He would say that while it wasn't what he would have wished for me, that there are a lot worse things to be told than "you're going to be a grandad!" And he's right (-he's my dad, he's perfect!!) It took my mum a long time to accept that I was pregnant with DC2 (&I was in my 30s/married/house/career etc!) as she worried about me and about her very very precious only grandchild (I'm an only child). But she worships the ground he walks on!! He's 17 now and they have an amazing bond. He gets away with saying things to her that I'd never dare!!!! And I'm nearly 50!!!
Enjoy every minute of what's left of your pregnancy! And you're a teacher aren't you?? Great timing! Work up until close to due date, declare yourself fit to return before the summer holidays and you'll be back on full pay again with an extra two months off!!!

Oh I like that idea very much! Lol. I don't think I'll believe it till babies here to be honest, but I am getting excited now! And also terrified of the whole actual giving birth bit.

I do qualify for the sure start grant so hopefully that will go someway to getting some bits, the friends I've told so far have been spoiling me already and one of my ex dog walking clients has just put a bouncer and car seat etc up for sale so although we do want to get a new one it's nice to know we have something just incase baby does decide he/she has had enough and wants out!

Is it bad I'm a little disappointed that we couldn't find out the sex today?

Also can someone please tell me that you just know what to do with baby when it gets here?!

I'm so worried I'm going to panic and not know what to do. We're too late for antenatal classes too so I'm properly going it alone. Probably why I'm sat up at 4am upset :( what If I do it all wrong and end up hurting baby!!!!! I don't think I've ever held a new born before either!

Read your post huni you will be fine! How exciting! I was an only child no cousins so no experience with babies you just muddle along and get there! And now mumsnet is here youl never be lost! Good luck xxxx

Ark, I'm 40w3d and this was a planned pregnancy. I've had 9 months to prepare and still have no idea what to do with babies!!

(I'm hoping instinct will kick in!)

One thing I've recently discovered is you tube videos! Mothercare have a good channel with the very basics like 'how to bath your baby', 'how to change a nappy' etc. Stuff we feel we should know (and may feel too stupid to ask about) but if you've not had a lot of contact with newborns how can you be expected to automatically know things like what they should wear to bed?

Here they are:

m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDuDKKBaUvlPCsmU8QVBr5ZtSRZ6pfmZe

(Sorry if that's not a clickable link)

I've also got a pretty straight forward book called 'Your Baby Week by Week'. Each week has a 4-5 page chapter dedicated to it, so it's quick and easy to read. It's not too biased towards any particular method or theory and tells you the basics like how many layers to dress them in, how much you'd expect them to eat, how many dirty nappies to expect each day etc.

From what I've been told, you need to take advice like this with a pinch of salt as all babies are different which might make it impossible to follow a week by week book to the letter, but it's a basic guide. Don't feel like a failure if your baby doesnt follow it exactly.

Also health visitors are good for advice. (I've already met mine and she's very down to earth and practical... some can be less friendly I've heard but hopefully you'll be lucky like me.)

And mumsnet is pretty brilliant for practical, experienced advice!!

Congratulations by the way!

Thank you. I'm so glad I joined this forum! I have so many questions to ask about everything!

Everyone feels like that!

I 'lost' 6 weeks at my scan (also hadn't know I was pg), that put me about half way and I know how shocked I was.

Hopefully it won't take long for your mum to calm down.

Defo get stuff second hand. And you should really think about getting your hospital bag sorted just incase.

Massive congrats x

When do you find out about who your health visitor is etc? I've got my first appointment with my local midwife on Monday. Is she the right one to ask about silly things? Lol

Thank you. My god daughters mum has been mega busy collecting second hand stuff for me all day. She's got me a steriliser and everything bless her! There are a few outfits I'm getting new ( like a Christmas one for example! eeeeee! ) and I want a new car seat as I've been warned about getting second hand ones. With things like Moses baskets etc is ok to get them second hand?

Get a second hand basket but a new mattress. Second hand mattresses can increase risk of SIDS due to them harbouring bacteria.

(Not everyone follows this advice but I'm too paranoid not to).

I think it depends on your area when you first meet your health visitor (HV). My area has just started doing prenatal appointments which is why I've already met her (I assume the midwife referred me, it just happened!) Otherwise, your midwife will look after you for the first few weeks after the baby is born and then hand you over to the HV. However, my HV is happy for me to call Her with questions before that if I need to.

Also, once you start telling the world you're pregnant you'll be surprised how keen people are to just give you stuff. Say yes to everything!!

Haha okay, I feel a bit silly announcing it to the world with no scan pics or anything, I wish we had asked for one now but because baby's that much bigger you couldn't really see much unless it was just one part, which if you didn't know what you're looking at is pretty pointless lol. Was so cool to see the feet waving around and little fists though, I now know why I feel like a punchbag.... Cause apparently that's what I am! Lol.

Your God daughters mum sounds like she's on a mission! Thats brilliant!!

I expect previous posters have already recommended NCT neaely new sales.

My advice with these is to get there early and as soon as you get to the door ask where the 'big stuff' is (eg furniture, prams, electricals etc) and head straight to that section!

*nearly new sales

I wouldn't worry too much about not having a scan picture. They all look the same anyway!

She's fab, she's been so excited since I had a positive test lol. She had a similar situation with my god daughter as she only found out when she was 20 weeks gone, then baby decided that at 34 weeks she was coming out! They had a scary stint in hospital too but she's a feisty 2 year old now!

I'll keep an eye out for any NCT sales, though my dad said yesterday that I didnt need to worry about anything when I said I was losing the plot looking at prams and car seats. So may hang on and see what he meant by that!

Ah you'll be fine then! There's nothing quite like a grandchild to bring out extreme generosity in parents!

Sorry to hear you've developed pregnancy insomnia! I'm pretty much always awake from 3am!

( I often wonder how many of my pregnancy symptoms I would have really felt if I didnt know I was pregnant. I've had a really easy pregnancy, but it didn't stop me from obsessing over every single sensation over the last 9 months....!)

It's so bloody annoying isn't it! Though I wouldn't be surprised if most of it is stress after the last few days events. From not pregnant to having a baby in 4 weeks! I bet when we eventually try for number two I'll have a horrendous pregnancy to make up for this one lol

I can't even imagine the worries going around your head right now! But I think you'll be okay, I've followed this thread from the beginning and you're covering all the bases.

To be honest, other than having the physical time to prepare on a practical level, having an extra 8 months to worry isn't really all that useful. I've become incredibly paranoid and obsessed with Dr Google!!

And at least you won't be too bothered if you go over your due date. I'm 3 days over and have already gone insane with anticipation!!!!

Congratulations! If it helps, I'm 30 weeks with#3, have enough stuff to start my own shop and am still freaking out-it never goes away.

As an aside I thought that pregnancy tests stop working after a certain point since the hcg levels get too high? Is this not true??

Gosh what a shock!

I always found out within a few weeks with my pregnancies! Atleast you don't have to wait 35+ weeks I suppose!

Congratulations op

Harrowgreen Im living proof that they work over 35 weeks. Mine said 3+ Weeks ..... Think that was the understatement of the century haha!

Belly I hope you pop soon!

Thank you 3pigs.

Blood sugar tests are a barrel of laughs aren't they! No I do not want to prick my finger multiple times a day thanks :(

Congratulations :) Tbh, I wouldn't bother with a Moses basket, I would use a cot straight away.

Have you only started noticing the kicks since you found out you were pregnant? I felt mine from about 18 weeks and they soon became unmistakable :)

I'm not entirely sure I have room for a cot at the mo that's the problem. My entire life is crammed into one room at my nans at this present moment. We were only meant to be here a few months but 2 years later.... Thanks to exortionate house prices. There is a spare room that my dad now wants to turn into a nursery so we shall see. We are hopefully sorting out logistics tonight as we haven't got long to make space for baby.

Feeling seriously overwhelmed this morning, meeting up with my mum in town to have a chat later. Dreading it to be honest but at least if she's in public she has to keep her voice down

Ark could you get yourself on the list with the council at all re. social housing?

I think the main problem here is that you are not living independently at the moment so your family are still treating you as a little girl. You are a woman and 25 is an excellent time to have a child. I feel that if you were living with your Partner away from your family you probably wouldn't feel like a naughty kid and your Mum wouldn't be treating you like one.