45....and pregnant.....bollocks

[Mexicantortilla]

Just that, how fucking crap is this at my flamin age,
Any advice?

The was in response to 'my personality'

I think OP is female and a vasectomy might prove difficult under those circumstances.

A vasectomy is surgery and it is not appropriate for everyone and in a minority of cases can have very nasty side effects. Or did you not know that?
Perhaps you also didn't know that it is not always 100% effective either?

No one in their forties would stand out at all around here.

Oscar is talking a load of shite.

How are you feeling?

Oscar there are claimed to be a million women on MN. No means of contraception, even vascectomy, has a failure rate better than one in a thousand so that's a lot of unexpected pgs that we'd expect to see (besides the fact that the OP's DP may reasonably object to the not inconsiderable risks of having his testicles hacked about).

Very best of luck OP, whatever the outcome.

Oscar sounds like a nice person

Take the time to decide whats best, OP. Best of luck x

.....and this thread demonstrates why MN needs a hide poster button.

It amazes me that some people can be so deliberately nasty.

Oh stop being such a dick.

Well said, Harold

I was trying to formulate a response but ah, what's the point.

This isn't AIBU Oscar so stop posting in such a combative manner

I'm out...I was not trying to be nasty, just realistic. Good luck, OP. If you are happy with your decision and want hand-holding, there are lots of older mums on here and I'm sure you'll get loads of support. I had my first baby at 25, and not everyone in my life was entirely supportive of that...it's just life. There are pros and cons to every decision and I'm sure you'll make the right one for your family.

You may not have been trying to be nasty but you were. Hth.

Well, nice reactions! I am 41 and loving my pregnancy so far, 37 weeks.
Still more energetic than some women 10 years younger and looking just as good! Keep positive, there are a lot of advantages to be a mother at this age too. It is your choice ultimately and I believe it is a lot scarier when you are too young.

Well good for you Oscar, you've got it all figured out. Thank goodness you came along with your "you shouldn't have got yourself into this" attitude, it's so helpful and insightful of you to kick someone when they're struggling.

OP it's ok to to be pregnant at 45 and it's ok to be shocked and not sure how to feel about it. My advice would be that until you make a decision about whether you want to keep the baby go ahead with pre natal care, take frolic acid and look after yourself. Talk to supportive people and give yourself time to adjust. Lots of people will have an opinion on what you should do but only yours and your partners counts.

You can address your feelings about your age when you have decided whether you actually want to keep the baby, I think they are sperate issues though clearly prominent for you. Good luck with whatever you decide xxx

It takes a man AND a woman to have a baby, Stop

You are SHITTING me!

So when lillithmoon asked what methods of birth control we (women) could access (that didnt involve surgery btw) and you replied with 'vasectomy' and related it to being less painful than childbirth- you werent actually talking about birth control a woman could access at all?

You were extremely nasty and it seems clear that you don't care that you were. The least you could have done would have been to apologise.

My comment was for Oscar

Bloody hell there are a right couple of arseholes on this thread.

Anyway, congratulations OP

Don't be ashamed, you have nothing to be ashamed about at all. In fact I've just had my first DC at almost 39 and my DH and I were discussing how I seem to be one of the younger mums in our area!

STOP

OP I would be massively shocked too.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Ffs Oscar birth control os not 100% even getting steralized isnt.

My DM had 2 teenager and her pill failed, she had took it for years. Db was born, she then had a coil fitted and fell pg with another DB.

Are you seriously saying to prevent unwanted pg everyone should have their tubes tied or maybe just woman over 40 should?

And im sure my DM was bloody shocked when her strings vanished

Agree with the jice PPs above, folic acid and a deep breath while you and dh decide what to do and if you want this baby. if you do then I hope all goes well for you.

And for the 'oh you'll be so old at the school gate' contingent, here, have a . I was at a 20 year reunion recently with my flatmates from when I did my PhD. We're all in our mid 40s, there were 8 children, 3 of which were born when their mothers were in their 40s. At my DDs school, I am absolutely normal as a 40 something Mum of a reception pupil.