45....and pregnant.....bollocks

[Mexicantortilla]

Just that, how fucking crap is this at my flamin age,
Any advice?

Ive had 3 mcs and a termination and im not offended. What a shock and op didnt say she wasnt using contraception Sandwich, contaception does actually fail sometimes. My dm fell pg with DB on pill so had a coil in and then fell pg with my other DB.

I would be utterly horrified if this happened to me op and I am 41.
I have had 4 mc and have 2 much longed for dc.
I do wish the professionally offended would keep off threads like this...whether you know 400 people who are having trouble conceiving it gives you no right to dictate to others how they should feel about an unplanned pg.
Op...take some time.
Phone BPAS and get some advice x

Hi OP
I had my youngest at 43 and honestly, it was fine.

I can understand you being shocked, most people would be. I was and I was ttc! I just didn't think it was going to happen.

You have options. Give it time to sink in, like others have said.
If you want to PM I am happy to chat about how being pg was for me in my 40s.

Take care of yourself.

sandwich are you having a laugh?

You accuse the OP, a stranger to you, of being insensitive because you happened to be reading about another stranger's MC? Something totally unconnected to the OP's situation (and yours for that matter)

Yet you come on her thread about her unexpected pregnancy and spout off about how you are 'blissfully happy' to be pregnant.

And you think she is insensitive?

Make your choices and be happy with them, don't do too much 'what if'... life is tough enough without doing something you're not happy to live with (whatever you decide).

that's my advice for what it's worth

I really don't understand how anyone can be offended. The OP is 45, is pregnant and understandably shocked. This is fact. How can anyone be offended by this?

Folic acid and a couple of weeks sinking-in. You'll do the right thing for you and your family in the end, whatever that may be.

Do you have other children?

I'm 45 btw and a little bit envious.

I am 43 and would terminate if I got pregnant again (DH had a vasectomy years ago and I am menopausal, thankfully). I can understand your shock.

Don't understand how anyone can be offended by the OP, either.

Oh wow what a shock!

When it's sunk in a bit more you might feel a bit clearer?

I had both of mine in my 40s, my youngest at 44. Let it sink in and then decide what to do. To be honest, around here it's not wildly unusual and at least I should have the menopause out of the way by the time mine are teenagers!

Gosh, that really must be a shock. Hopefully, it is not too far into the pregnancy and you can still give yourself some time to think about things.

If it's very, very early in the pregnancy you may want to wait to wait a little while and see how things go.

Hope you have some good RL support.

You need time to process everything. You have to consider your family but make sure you listen to yourself too.

I hope everything works out ok.

I'm the same age as you and my youngest is 17. I can't imagine going back to babies but I know that there are lots of happy older mums about too.

Sandwich I have had miscarriage after miscarriage. I do not need Daily Mail morality on the internet in the name of women like me.
I absolutely support any woman in her right to choose whether she has a child or not and to feel what she wants to feel about pregnancy.

If anything I have MORE sympathy for women in places where they can't choose not to have kids... because I know exactly what it is like to have such massive, lifelong choices denied to you.

It is sad and wrong that some women cannot have kids.
It is sad and wrong if some women have to have them when they don't want to.

In an ideal world, these things wouldn't happen in either direction.

" Blissfully happy to be pregnant myself (although a lot younger than you)"

SandwichBag, a lot younger than the OP? Are you 12? Because that would explain your childish attitude at least

Mexican, I feel for you. With regards to the appeal for advice, you need to take some time to think about what you want. Whatever you decide let it be the right choice for yourself. In the meantime take care of yourself

Christ, what a load of old gumph from Sandwich.

OP, I really sympathise, an unwanted pregnancy at any age is a horrible situation. Do you have children already? Have you told the father?

I think its a perfectly acceptable slip up at any age to get pregnant 'by mistake' Best of luck op on coming to terms with this, however it turns out.

Just wanted to agree with the suggestion of folic acid etc while you come to terms with this x

OP, I just want to wish you all the best with whatever decision you make. I would agree with the other posters who suggested taking folic acid while you get your head around things.

FWIW, I can empathise with you as a fellow old codger (in my 40's) with a 6 month old. 'Geriatric mothers' is what I was filed under at the maternity hospital (the cheek!)

Op I am not 45 but I've recently found out I'm pg very unexpectedly! It's such a shock at any age. I hope you have a supportive DP (or someone supportive) to help you with this because it's tough without.

You will be fine though. Hope you get some clarity soon

Poor you OP, it must be a massive shock. My Nan was the same age when my Dad was conceived, and FWIW she had no bother. She was helping look after grandkids well into her 80's too, so maybe it keeps you young, having a late baby?
But whatever you decide will be the right thing for you.

Hi, it must be a big shock! My mum was 41 when she had me (40 years ago). The doctors told her to abort me because I would definitely have a learning disability! But I'm fine and she fine and it was nice having an older mum! Whatever you decide, best wishes for you!

When I fell pregnant at 40, my friend of a similar age fell pregnant too. I was thrilled and she wasn't. She had 3 children already, had post natal depression with her 2nd too, money problems, husband working away all week etc. My situation was different. She had a termination and has never regretted it for a second. I didn't. Whatever happens, it may seem like the end of the world now but it will work out one way or the other. There is no right or wrong way to deal with it but you will work out what's right for you. Best wishes.

oh OP - I'm your age and I'd be shell-shocked to say the least. And VERY unsure what to do.

What are your thoughts?

Had DS at 47. Was fine.

get in touch with a mw, talk to her about antenatal screening, unfortunately the odds of disability go up significantly after 40, talk it through thoroughly with a mw and decide what your plan of action will be from there. have you got children already?