45....and pregnant.....bollocks

[Mexicantortilla]

Just that, how fucking crap is this at my flamin age,
Any advice?

Whatever you decide to do, suggest you see your MW asap to get blood pressure and blood sugar levels checked (and take folic acid and Vit D as MN above have said). You have nothing to feel ashamed of, IMO (speaking as an "older" mum).

... I guess I just feel ashamed because of my age, if I was younger I don't think I would have a problem with it ... I just feel that I'll be judged now as I'm 45...

Who gives a f*ck what anyone else thinks? You are 45, not 65! If this baby would be welcome if you were younger, then IMHO that should be your answer. He or she would be a lovely sibling for your 4 year old, surely? And do you really look / feel so very different from when you had your youngest?

I had my daughter aged nearly 44 and having a moan to the consultant obstetrician about my age one time he said I was in much better shape than many of his younger patients (i.e. basically telling me to shut up and get on with it!). I would so love another one too, and frankly wouldn't let what random people thought about it be any barrier to what's right for our family.

So I just wanted to wish you luck in making the right decision for your family, whatever that is.

Oscar, what's biting you fgs

You really wonder what people like sandwich and oscarget out of being so bloody self righteous.

WTF is wrong with two of the posters on this thread . Try keeping your unpleasant, unhelpful and bitchy assertions to yourself Oscar.

Had DS at 42. Would give anything to have been able to have another. But completely understand your feeling of wondering if you'll be taken seriously/feeling you'll be judged in mid-40s. If you want (you might not want to) I found it soothing to look out all the examples of stylish and credible 45/6/7 mums: Cherie Blair; Carla Bruni, Marcia Cross... Good luck with your decision

OMG Oscar what a totally innapropriate post.
OP I hope you are ok.

ODOFO Oscar! There are enough 40+ mums around for us not to be mistaken for grans.

No, not at my kindergarten (or school) gate.

Nothing at all to be embarrassed about OP. many many women are choosing to have children later in their child bearing years, you will not be 'that mum' you will be one of many mums of a similar age. In my son's class of 16 children there are 3 mum's who are at least in their 40's (he is p1). It's not an odd thing nowadays.

You really wonder what people like sandwich and oscarget out of being so bloody self righteous.

They get to say it without being punched like they would in RL

I'm not being self-righteous at all. Just putting a POV out there...the OP herself said it was bollocks. There are going to be people that judge and you may not get a whole lot of support for your position. I don't believe that you accidentally got pregnant at 45, after three children, in a developed country in 2014. There are SO many birth control-options, something for everybody. Therefore you were trying to have another baby (with or without your partners support) in which case CONGRATULATIONS and best of luck .

Oscar. What a nasty shitty post. Have you no compassion? I actually thought you must be a troll but I see you have posted numerous times before. I presume you get some pleasure by trying to upset other people when they are asking for support .

Who gives a fuck whether a stranger on the internet believes she got pregnant by accident? Who really gives a flying fuck?

Surely finding out you are pregnant can be a shock at any age? And may take some adjusting to?
A momentous decision will need to be made, whatever the OP ends up doing, so give her some slack!

Cherie Blair (baby at 45), Madonna (baby at 41), Sarah Brown (wife of Gordon Brown - baby at 40 and 42), Jane Seymour (twins at 45), J K Rowling (baby at 37 and 39), Patricia Hodge (twins in her 40s), Emma Thompson (baby at 40), Susan Sarandon (baby at 46), Mimi Rogers (baby at 45), Iman (baby at 44), Jerry Hall (baby at 41), Annette Bening (baby at 41), Brooke Shields (baby at 37 and 40), Caroline Quentin (baby at 39 and 42), Sarah Lancashire (baby at 38), Mariella Frostrup (baby at 41 and 43), Christie Brinkley (baby at 46), Geena Davis (baby at 46), Courtney Cox Arquette (baby at almost 40), Julianne Moore (baby at 37 and 41), Helen Hunt (baby at 40), Helen Fielding (baby at 46 and 48), Lowri Turner (baby at 42), Meera Syal (baby at 43), Holly Hunter (twins at 47), Sian Williams (baby at 41), Jennifer Beals (baby at 40), Sarah Edwards (baby at 46), Beverly D'Angelo (twins at 49), Marcia Cross (baby at 45), Kaye Adams (baby at 39 and 43), Salma Hayek (baby at 41), Jackie Brambles (baby at 39 & 40), Sharron Davies (baby at 44), Sophie, Countess of Wessex (baby at 42), Helena Bonham Carter (baby at 41), Halle Berry (baby at 41), Ulrika Jonsson (baby at 40), Tamzin Nicole Kidman (baby at 41), Sarah Parish (baby at 40), Lisa Marie Presley (twins at 40), Gillian Anderson (baby at 40), Jo Whiley (baby at 43), Kate Garraway (baby at 42), Cerys Matthews (baby at 40), Sam Taylor-Wood (baby due at 43), Monica Bellucci (baby at 45), Celine Dion (twins at 42), Mariah Carey (baby at 41), Julia Bradbury (baby at 41), Helen Fielding (baby at 48), Arlene Phillips (baby at 47), Carla Bruni (baby at 43)

Sorry, to clarify, agreeing with Cate - plenty of mums who had DC in 40s at our nursery and school too. Nothing anyone remarks on.

Cate Wow!

I would be shocked to be pregnant in my 40s, my worst nightmare tbh so I hope it never happens. So you have my sympathy.

No advice except maybe you could start telling people you are 38? That might help a little.

Oscar, as a matter of interest would you like to tell us what 100% reliable method of birth control (other than abstinence) we could access, which doesn't involve surgery?

I think the correct answer is "my personality", Lillith.

Very good Craic .

Absolutely don't feel ashamed. It would be fine if you want another child and that is the only consideration, do you and your DH want another child?

The very best with your decision, talk to you dh, take your time. But don't be embarrassed at the clinics, it would be fine, no one will know your age and if they did well so what children keep you young :)

. A vasectomy? Very simple, effective in-patient procedure. Far, far, far less risky and painful than childbirth. Let's not pretend otherwise.