I THINK IM PREGNANT? OR HOW LONG TILL?

[Jael123]

I'm 18, just recently turned 18. Ive been trying for a baby with my boyfriend, we have been planning this all for the last 6 months, this really is what we want, we have a good income (we don't currently have any benefits and we plan to not rely on them)I came off my mini pill 1 week ago, I'm having heavy bleeding now, I presume this is my period.what do I need to know, what's important. I've googled and googled but I want really advice. How long do you think it will take for me to fall pregnant etc?

Anything would help, thankyou!

I had my first at 20. She was planned and I had been trying since I was 18.

It was a bloody stupid, childish decision. Whilst I love my children dearly I have not given them the life they deserve because of my selfish and ignorant desire to have children so young. I could have been a far better mother with a few more years of life experience and maturity.

I'm 30 now, my kids are 5, 8 and 9 and I've just split from their father (obviously at 18 I thought we were soulmates, so in love, perfect for each other... 12 years later and I've grown up but he hasn't, if I hadn't had kids so young I would have had the chance to leave before that decision involved splitting up a family)

At 18 o thought I knew what I wanted, that a child would make me happy. Whilst my kids bring me immense joy they have also robbed me of my 20s, broken my body, exhausted me, driven me to tears and I have lost myself over the years. Two of mine have special needs as well which hasn't helped but even without that factor I honestly didn't comprehend how completely my life would have to change. You can never make a decision based solely on your own wishes again, you can't do anything, go anywhere without considering them, if they need you you have to drop everything else: job/friends/hobbies to go to them... Your life is not your own.

I'm telling you as someone who madebthe same decision... It is the wrong choice, honestly you will look back in a few years and regret it... And the guilt of regretting having your kids is a horrendous feeling. As is the guilt of being unable to provide them with the life they deserve due to a rash and foolish choice to have them so young.

My close friend who had a baby whilst in college who still lives with her mum has given me a lot of advice also, I know a lot of thing I just want more advice from people on here.

Just don't dismiss people's advice OP because it isn't the advice you want to hear. People on here have been there and done it and are telling you the realities of it all.

Having a baby will test the very bones of your relationship. You can't even imagine how tired you will both be. If you argue, one of you can't just storm off to the other parents place, because you're a family and you need to work as a team. I love my son dearly but oh my gosh it takes an hour sometimes to get out the door. Everything is about him. Every decision.

Wanting a baby and having one are two totally different things. And don't forget, they grow up! Quicker than you realise.

I'll be brutally honest- I turn 19 next month and I'm 15 weeks pregnant with my first baby.
This baby was NOT planned at all and a huge surprise, but me and the baby's dad had been living together for 7 months and I thought he was my soulmate.

Fast forward 11 weeks and I've moved back with my family because he decided he 'didn't love anyone enough to give up his life'. He's never been to an appointment, he doesn't reply to my messages and he only told his family so they could change their wills so this baby won't inherit anything.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure that if you decide to plan a baby now, you know that you can bring them up on their own if you have to. I've known people plan babies only to end up on their own very quickly

Having to ask strangers on the internet questions like this is proof that you are crazy! The problem with being 18 is that you think you are grown up and you're going to be with your boyfriend forever. Believe me - you're not, and you won't.

Ps - I found it hard having a baby and I had the benefit of being nearly 30, my DH and I both having 6 figure incomes and therefore having daily cleaning lady doing all washing, eating out when I couldn't be bothered to cook, being able to buy everything baby needed without worrying about cost, DH and I having been together for 6 years, owning our own home, etc etc. if you think you can do it when you're 18 and give your child the best possible start - you are kidding yourself.

Put your feed bags away people.

Bored.

I'm not going to respond with my experience until I know OP is genuine, but rest assured OP -you may think you're ready to have a baby at 18. You're not.

It can depend - I tried for 7 years with my ex partner and then with my new partner was pregnant within a few weeks x

Oh my gosh. I am truly astounded at some of the responses on here, at no point has this woman (yeah she's isn't a child) asked for advice on how to live her life which is mostly what she seems to have received.
You know a lot of the people on here have valid points but some are just downright self righteous. How do any of you know that her relationship won't last (mine did from 18 and that was nearly 20 years ago and had my first child at 30) do relationships not break down with older couples who have 'life experience'?

Honestly, what really matters is that this couple can support themselves and a child and ensure the child has the best upbringing possible. Really can we judge peoples parenting on age when we see the mistreatment of children in the media all of the time and were these people teenagers?

I don't have all of the answers for the Op and neither will anybody on here, it can take a month or years to conceive but what I would recommend is to find a website which will advise you how to monitor ovulation so you know when you are likely to conceive and have sex often around that time.

I am not belittling some of the (unasked for) advice given, you do need to think about finances and childcare costs if you intend to work and I do recommended you plan what will happen with these when you have baby. But otherwise good luck.

Well said Pootles!
I met my DH at 19. My parents got together when my mum was 18 - still together. Age means very little when it comes to whether a relationship will last.
OP - no one can tell you how to live your life. You make the choices that are right for your family. If I were you I would want my own place with DP first.
No one knows when you will fall pregnant. Contraception hormones may leaveyour system very quickly, but for some it can take several months to a year for cycles to regulate. You will tend to ovulate 10-14 days before your period is due. This can vary though - so regular sex is the way to go generally. Most of all just relax! I know several people who fell pregnant when they stopped "trying".
Take your folic acid and try to live as healthily as you can.

I have a good friend in her late 30s who had her first baby at 18, second at 19 and third at 24. She is married to the father of her children and they are a wonderful family. My friend is intelligent, beautiful and has a stable job, as is her husband. Her children are all delightful and she did a great job with all three. Why is everyone assuming that these life decisions can't be made at 18?

A good tip is to start taking folic acid now. Another good tip is to start an excerise regime. You can't start a new keep fit programme when you are pregnant but you can keep going with what you are doing already. This is how famous athletes can run marathons while they are pregnant. When you excerise through pregnancy it increases your chance of an easy labour and means that you gain less weight so you get your nice figure back quicker. Is that helpful? Good luck xx

Thankyou for the support!!! I think it is awfully childish on some respects how people on here (parents) are judging me on life decisions, I came here for advice, not to be mocked. I am not a child no longer, I am very mature for my age. If I wanted to live in my own flat, I could- I have had a stable, well earning job for the last 3 years- just as my boyfriend has. We are very much in love, talking about marriage etc in the near future and what we really want more than anything is to start are own family. I can think of a lot worse things that teenage pregnancy.

Again thankyou for the people that have actually looked pass my age and respected my choices.

Nobody judged you on your life decisions, they gave you advice based on the benefit of experience. No-one has mocked you either. None of the responders have been childish. You are right- there are a lot things worse than teen pregnancy, is that a good reason to do it? Because some things are worse? When it comes to a child's life i dont think it is.

I actually think you are in an enviable position here because not only do you know what you want, have a partner who wants the same and supportive family, you are also both working and living at home so can save an absoloute fortune to give yourselves a great nest egg. In your shoes i would be making a plan to save up to buy a home together, get married and have some fantastic savings in the bank so that when your baby comes along there is worry about money, you can take as much maternity leave as you like, you have the security of marrige and being in your owned home rather than the mercy of a landlord.

You really do have a fantastic opportunity to create your family in very good and secure circumstances and if i was to make my decision again that is what i would be doing.

no worry about money.

In fact the only reason i can see why someone wouldnt do that in your circumstances is impatience which indicates a lack of maturity.

I think the only one being childish here is you OP.

If you want advice why not go see your GP. They have all the relevant up to date information regarding TTC, when to take folic acid and what's healthy what's not etc.

I would also check up on your companies maternity policy and get your DP to check his paternity policy as this will give you an idea of the income you will be getting once the baby is here.

Well why don't you live in your own flat first? Spending a few days each week between parents is not living as grown ups.

You can't do that with a baby. I'm not sure I understand the rush.

I got pg at 18 and had DD at 19.

My advice would be to leave it 3 months if you have had an early miscarriage, as the statistics suggest it reduces the risk of a second miscarriage.

Oh yes, and making sure you are the perfect weight for your height and eating really fantastically can speed up conception a bit.

Are you taking folic acid and off the sauce and the fags as well? Also helps.

Also, what is this stable well earning job that you have had for 3 years having just turned 18 that also allowed you to gain a good education? At just turned 18 you are surely just out of school and could only be starting full time employment.

MN hasn't responded to my report yet but I'll give the thread the benefit of the doubt.

I've been described as mature for my age, ambitious, intelligent, talented. People have even said I'd be a great mum.

I had my baby nine weeks ago, at 19, and as much as I love it, every day is a struggle. It's more hard work than you can really imagine before you get going. We're doing pretty good for money, OH has a steady job - but it takes up more money than you think. You can say 'Oh, I'm going to breastfeed from the start' - you may not be able to, and then you're paying at least £10 a week for formula from the start.

It's lonely. I'm very very lucky to have some great friends who've stuck by me - but I also have plenty of fickle friends who've turned their backs, and they're often the ones you least expect. You'll face stigma and judgement, and it's easy to say "Oh I'll deal with it", but it's not so easy when hormones take over. It is tough - I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but I'm going to tell you the reality of it for me.

I love my DD to bits. Would I change anything? No. Would I have gone out of my way to get pregnant at 18? Hell no.

I don't smoke or drink anymore (stopped 3 months ago when we got serious about having a baby) can I also say that I have my own savings account with £5,600 in it, my boyfriend has about £2000 in his. We are well prepared and as I have repeatedly said we would move into our own flat tomorrow if we wanted to but we plan to do that in the early months that I fall pregnant as I feel for the first month or so I want to be at home with my family.