Posifrickentivity thread: pregnant after miscarriage. TODAY WE ARE PREGNANT.

[squizita]

Continuing our journeys through pregnant after past loss.

Hand holding and support for all.

TODAY WE ARE PREGNANT.

literally just 4 weeks today, so v early days as I OV on cd11, this month which was unusually early for me and have 14 day LP as clockwork.

is your progestrone low? I was hoping that's what my gp would offer but he said he wouldn't know how to interpret the results. :(

I just want to know i'm doing all i can to keep the bean as first m.c last may/june was 5 weeks, sept was 8 weeks (d&C) and jan was 5 weeks. the catching isn't the issue it's the keeping growing bean.

at your care DavidT - they wouldn't know how to interpret the results?! Jeez, he could even just google it! That is unacceptable. And I'm sorry your EPU are being so unreassuring amum, it's like they just don't get it sometimes, isn't it.

Can anyone advise me on NCT? We can't make the dates for the course in our area (just outside Edinburgh), but can for the Edinburgh dates. We spend 1/2 the week in Edinburgh atm, but I don't think that will be the case once baby is born. Most people I know say it's mainly worth it for meeting people - should I pay out £180 for the course itself, with the risk that I won't be able to keep in touch with the people from my class? I should be able to, it's a short train ride for meet ups, I just don't want to waste that kind of money if not.

seasides it is really just a way to meet a certain class of first time mothers. I don't think it will be worth it unless you are prepared to travel in to Edinburgh for meet ups. There are many other ways to meet new mums once your little one is born. In my area, the NHS also does a postnatal group. My NHS postnatal group is much move lovely than the NCT one. I found my NCT group very competitive. Their children seems to be all angels and can walk, talk and did everything better than my DD. You can also join the NCT bumps and babies or afternoon tea group after birth without paying for the classes. Then there are other baby things like massage, exercise, yoga, baby sensory. Netmums will have a listing for baby events in your area.

It helps to pass the time when you are on maternity leave, to go out and do things with other new mums. It also depends if you already have a lot of friends with young babies/toddlers, and also if you are going back to work full time. If you are going back only PT or maybe SAH, then you would probably want to work harder to find mummy friends, and hence the importance of NCT (in your local area)?

This thread moves so fast. Congrats to all those who feel the end is nearly in sight and those who are passing those milestones. And hi to newcomers - hope for time to speed up so we can get to those milestones without getting completely burnt out with worry.

DavidT congrats and good news on getting the scan booked. Agree with whoever said that GPs are generally shit at all things miscarriage related. With my second mc, I'd been bleeding for a while but GP insisted on doing blood tests to confirm pregnancy instead of sending me to the EPU. Blood tests of course said I was pg because I had hcg, but I had definitely miscarried. My dh took the doctor's word as gospel and somehow I nearly got convinced of it too. Utterly shite and complete lack of empathy.

Seasides I didn't do nct with my DD, as I felt Hypnobirthing would be more beneficial and I couldn't afford 2 sets of classes. But I ended up having a CS and my class was in a different county and we never arranged any meet ups afterwards so I didn't get either benefit! I think baby groups can be a great source of support though, and there are plenty you can join after baby has arrived that cost next to nothing. You can join local NCT groups on FB and go to meet ups without having to commit to paying the full whack for classes

seasides mine has quite normal info on birth etc' (i.e. not weirdly anti hospital etc') but I have heard they vary wildly in this respect!! Also my class (it's the essentials one) seems to be full of more normal people than some of them (i.e. not all posh and hyper competitive).
But £100+ is a lot for the same info you could get online or via the NHS.
I joined for the post natal support - breastfeeding clinics, medical advice and so forth. In my area, the NHS ante natal classes are notorious for being 80 people in a room and I didn't fancy that mid summer either!

Thanks guys, that's really useful info. I'm veering towards not bothering now, esp as all my new-mum friends are in Edinburgh anyway, so when I go over I can meet up with them. My town doesn't have a Bumps & Babies group, maybe I'll request one to start. And there's loads going on around me for mums, so I'm sure it'll be relatively easy to meet people. I'm going to be SAHM/PT working for a few years, so will be worth meeting people in the area. Hmm...decisions.

Dtm. My consultant didn't test my progesterone because he said what's high for one could be low for another but extra wouldn't hurt. I've never seen a heartbeat so it could well be that.

I'm 4 weeks too. Let's hold hands x

Welcome David- sorry you have been having such an awful time. Let's hope sod's law works in your favour and you get your sticky bean now you have your gynae appointment. Can you try your EPU directly if your gp is being useless? Or contact the consultant 's office and see if any of the tests can be brought forward now you are pregnant?

Seasides- I did nct and nhs antenatal and breastfeeding courses (keen bean). They were pretty similar. Nct classes slightly longer but not worth the extra money just for that. I did make friends with my group (they weren't snooty or competitive slightly to my surprise) but have made even better friends through local coffee morning/ swimming and singing classes. Our nct class also adopted another couple of mums we met when out and about so I second it is not necessary to go to classes to meet people. Most new mum's are keen to make friends and it is much easier to meet people than I expected- as long as you are prepared to talk babies and have the same ice breaker type conversation several times. Kind of like freshers' week.

Ps welcome seasalt too and good luck!

Dtm. My consultant didn't test my progesterone because he said what's high for one could be low for another but extra wouldn't hurt. I've never seen a heartbeat so it could well be that.

I'm 4 weeks too. Let's hold hands x

Oops. Didn't mean to post twice!

So the MW said she would get back to me today re: early reassurance scan. But she hasn't . I know when I think logically I am getting this all out of proportion, but sadly it is the same MW who I couldn't see last time until 8 weeks. I was keen to see her because I was getting really bad lower back ache. When she saw me she said there was no way it was preg related. I found out at the 12 week scan that baby had died at 8 weeks.

I just feel like it might have been related and let down about that, on top of which is the utter fear of another mc or mmc, and she doesn't seem to get it at all.

Will ring EPU tomorrow and find out if I can self refer.

Sorry about the rant

I'm on two days bed rest so was perusing the news pages and found an article on a woman who's had ten miscarriages and is part of the Mumsnet campaign for better care. I was disgusted and really sickened to see a comment at the bottom from a woman saying that not all women can have babies so stop getting pregnant and accept your fate! Not only did it make me sick one person is heartless enough to say it but 17 people clicked the green arrow to agree! I can't believe there are so many evil people out there. How dare they judge us. If we can find the fight to keep going then what makes them judge and jury? It felt like a double blow because my DH came home from work today (works in a town we lived in before buying our own place) and a lady I knew through two of my miscarriages said to him "she should stop putting her body through so much and focus on something else". Is this how the majority of people really feel but just don't normally say it? Feeling really angry.

I go through EPU myself GandT, I'd never get anywhere if I waited for my midwife. Call them in the morning and explain your fears. I always called my midwife with my concerns in the first few pregnancies but they never picked up the issues until too late. Now I go straight to my GP who has been great or call EPU. I feel like I'm a huge nuisance to them and then think, sod it, my baby is more important.

aMum that's shocking. I can't believe someone would say that to your DH.

Fx epu comes through for you gandt

Sorry I haven't been on for ages. All good here. 12+1 today.

Thanks aMum, I will call I think. Just keep swinging between feeling really scared and not wanting to be a bother and then, strangely, to feeling really angry that I'm pregnant and going through all of this.

I know that sounds terrible as I've been lucky to get pregnant again, I think it's just some strange coping thing. I'm not usually an angry person but seem to be in a bit a rage every now and then at the mo!

Can't believe about that comment. Some people clearly have no clue what it's like to be on the crappy end of the stats.

I know those feelings G&T. People are shocked when I say I hate being pregnant, like after all this hell it's a wonderful thing! I just want it over now and have my baby. The worry, fear, paranoia, emotional and physical pain AND the stupid things that stupid people say. The injections, tablets, many many scans which come with a whole load of worry and sadness, the suture (very scared about that) and a billion other things whirling through my head. We are far stronger than those stupid people could ever be.

aMum . So glad you understand. Stops me feeling like a monster. And you're right, so much stronger than those who can never even try and understand what its like.

Thinking of you with the suture.

A lot of women here will understand. That's the brilliant thing about this thread. You don't have to hold back on your feelings and worry about being judged. I've tried to open up to my real life friends and I see the looks on their faces and think, right, that's it, I will save my feelings for Mumsnet.

Popping in to welcome the newbies and offer hand holding and to those having a shitty time.

gandt if you can see another gp then do, it took me ages to find a good one and she has just been brilliant.

Couldn't agree more amum it's so bloody stressful and horrible being pregnant after mc. I was telling a friend today and although she's never had an mc she totally got it as had health scares through her pregnancies and I am so grateful to have understanding friends I can rant to as well as you lot

As for nct, we did it and had a brilliant group - see 4 of them every week and was so lucky to meet such a like minded bunch. I wouldn't travel to a group though, I think it would be tough to keep in touch if you're not living close by.

News from here is another heavy, black bleed at huge weekend and felt terrible. But also managed to give myself a mini fish slap as I was told I may get more bleeding and dark/brown blood is old blood, it's fresh red that's the worrying stuff. Clinging onto this and trying to stay calm whilst occasionally shi*ing myself. Off yo my gp to get properly booked in tomorrow and feeling scared of having blue maternity notes again as having to hand those back after my mmc really got to me. It's funny the things that affect you sometimes.

Thinking of everyone and sending hugs and fish slaps as needed x

Huge? Sorry random bad typing there! The!

just popping in to say our little man arrived today. a week late and ended with forceps but totally worth it. I am totally smitten!

My word, thread moving quickly again!

Welcome all newbies.

seasalt my EPU doc said same thing so have been on progesterone since 6w as she said it can't hurt. This pregnancy has progressed further than the last 7 ( not willing to say any more than that at this stage )

cake my spotting last week progressed to a bleed, but pregnancy was fine :) hoping same for you too. They told me blood is better out than in (odd logic, but hey ho). If you have bled as much as me get yourself checked for anaemia ASAP. I gave been breathless for weeks, and put it down to weight gain due to enforced exercise abstinence. Turns out am profoundly anaemic, as I found out when I fainted down the stairs on Saturday. Whoops.

Holding out for my 12 w scan on Thursday, and daring to hope I might make ut that far.

Sticky wishes to all x

Mega congrats pg
Welcome the chimplet xx

Wooooo, congratulations chimp! Delighted by this news.

A mum- what a horrible comment. Some people have no idea. I haven't been through everything you have but I already know that of all the difficult bits of pregnancy and motherhood it is the ttc and early pregnancy stress that would put me off trying for another if I get my longed for dc2. It is truly draining and all consuming and you have my heartfelt admiration. GandT too.