Posifrickentivity thread: pregnant after miscarriage. TODAY WE ARE PREGNANT.

[squizita]

Continuing our journeys through pregnant after past loss.

Hand holding and support for all.

TODAY WE ARE PREGNANT.

Welcome to lurker, lucky and postit, congratulations on your pregnancies and hope you find this a good place to vent worries, fears and even the slight glimmers of hope we sometimes get!

Ihave the reassurance scan seems to only reassure for about 48 hours if you are truly lucky! It just fades so quickly! Have a couple of mackerel though for the lack of symptom worry......it definitely can fade and come back, doesn't mean anything, but it also sounds that you still are actually having symptoms - feeling bad in the morning is definitely one! I'm the same as you, my symptoms have been quite light and it can add to the panic feeling. How long till your next scan? My 12 week one is on Thursday and the fear is gradually building.

Thanks for the welcome everybody, and welcome to lucky and postit. Congratulations! Postit and Ihave, your symptoms sound pretty normal to me. With my healthy pregnancy I had implantation bleeding and not much in the way of sickness- only if I got hungry. Tiredness was the worst but then I am always sleepy!

Thanks for the tip re private scans. I will certainly look into those once I have spoken to the Dr/midwife.

Cake, glad you are feeling calmer. Keep posting if it helps. Will keep everything crossed for your scan.

Hi Postit I have had something like this at the start of every pregnancy including this one which is normal at 16 weeks: the pink spotting/brown discharge just happens to some women - with me it fades after 3 days or so, turns brown and vanishes. FX that is the case for you. :)

Ihavehowlong Mine came and went too, endless panic - don't want to wish nausea on you but hope you feel reassured soon! My mum carried twins and did not realise she was pregnant until nearly week 12 (she had spotting at period times and 0 symptoms) so it's not the amount of HCG alone, it's how quickly your body processes the waste, which varies person to person and day to day.

Thanks for the reassurances. I did another test this morning and it's still positive. Would just really like to have no more spotting/discharge and then to get a fuckton of horrible symptoms too :)

I think I'll wait towards the end of this week before letting my surgery know and then I can start the nagging process for early scans too.

Also need to stop buying tests. Yesterday my husband said to me "Exactly how many DO you need?" I only did one with my pregnancies, but I think this is a side-effect of testing too early and having loopy cycles. (I have 3 more tests which I'm going to eke out over this week...shhhh)

Welcome Postit congrats on your bfp! As Squiz has said I think that's just the way it is for some women/pregnancies, hard not to worry I know, but it's perfectly normal. Wishing you a sticky bean.

Ihave my symptoms totally chilled at 9 weeks. My previous mmc was at 10 weeks so it was really hard. But again, it's perfectly normal and in many ways to be expected. My pregnancy book arrived that week, thankfully, and had a page for that week saying how the placenta will take over now causing symptoms can ease -I read that page like 5 times a day!! Chucking a sardine your way but only a wee one as I've been there

I had spotting the same day as my BFP on this pregnancy and had over a week of light bleeding with my first so didn't realise I was pregnant until I was about 6 weeks!
I thought my symptoms were already easing off the other day but actually they've just shifted to me hurling my guts up in the evening rather than all day. Scan on Wednesday and so worried. Can't wait to see them again but scared there will be something wrong.

Welcome to all newbies. Congrats on your bfps! Today you are pregnant. First 12 weeks is hideous. And my symptoms came and went and caused me so much stress! I ended up with 4 scans even before 12 weeks. Mc totally takes the joy out of subsequent pregnancy and just replaces it with fear and paranoia. I'm 22 weeks and still check my knickers for blood. It's hard to keep up the posifrickintivity but I find this thread helps. And even though we are all at different stages we know what each one is like so can help hold hands and throw fish as and when appropriate!

fedup is right. The first 12 weeks is horrendous. We all know it's statistically more likely we have a mc in the first than the other trimesters. I never allowed myself to believe until the 12 week scan. And then I still live in doubt until the 20 week anomaly scan. It is just so hard. Now at 25 week I'm obsessed with movements instead.

I'm with you on that oltt, I haven't allowed myself to feel anything like bonding with SeaBaby yet. 12 week scan tomorrow at 2pm, argh! I'm so nervous, I feel like so many people's happiness rests on my body's ability to perform. My MIL has already started decorating the nursery!! She's buying a cot. OMG, what if it's not good news tomorrow? I think she'll be as devastated as we are. I've hated the first trimester, but if tomorrow is good news I am determined to start enjoying this.

Congrats on the BFPs newbies, and welcome. Keeping busy and reminding yourself that almost all symptoms or none are normal is my advice!

moomin, my symptoms have pretty much vanished too now. I am just reassuring myself that this is normal, the placenta is doing its thing, and my growing stomach is making up for lack of nausea!

Good luck with the scan Seasides! My first pregnancy was problem-free and I couldn't wait for the scan. Is different this time, I agree, but it will be amazing seeing your baby and I hope it gives you the reassurance you need.

Congratulations to any newbies i've missed, welcome to the nut house!!

Good luck tomorrow Seaside! I too will be trying to enjoy things once i've got out of the hellish first trimester!! Miscarriage really is the shitty gift thats keeps giving - a shit load of worry and anxiety and zero enjoyment or excitement!

Thanks for the welcomes! I have plenty of fruit and nuttery to contribute and will appreciate any fish slaps as necessary.

Totally agree with fedup and OLTT - my healthy pregnancy was one looong anxiety ride. I thought susbsequent ones would be easier but obviously not! The fears are firmly ingrained now. And I definitely couldn't let myself bond to the burgeoning bump or project into the future. (Was all fine once she arrived, thank god)

I still haven't told anyone (other than husband). My mum was up for the weekend and I kept planning to tell her. But it just felt too early. I am seeing her next Sunday though so if i can keep the bean sticky until then and I can get her on her own I think I'll have to tell her. What did you all do about telling family and friends? It's difficult when you feel like you need to protect them from the worry but you also know that you'll need their support if it goes wrong.

Good luck with the scan seaside. That'll be a major milestone out of the way. I know the worry doesn't end there but you do get a brief respite.

Thanks for all the fish, needed that. After a few days of feeling relatively sprightly I've had a day of bone-aching tiredness today so that's also reassuring. Just over two weeks until my next scan then hopefully I'll have at least a couple of worry free days. It's true that previous MC takes all the joy out of pregnancy, certainly in the early days. We've just got to focus on getting through each (incredibly long) day with sanity relatively intact I guess. I remember my first pregnancy feeling like it was taking forever too, but at least it was exciting with it!

Oh and good luck with the scan tomorrow seasides!

Hello to the new faces :) congratulations!
seasides best of luck for today, all will be well so deep breaths xxxx

Almost 11 weeks is too early for movement right? It's just after I sneeze hard I get a bout of fluttery sensations. I remember what it felt like feeling my last baby move from about 14 weeks and my first (who I really felt because he had his dad's long legs) I didn't feel until about 19 weeks. The fluttery feeling is the same as with my last baby.
Two more days until the next scan. Then the nuchal the week after. Anyone know how they do that with twins? Measuring the neck will be the same but how do they determine the statistics with blood when it's shared between two?

amum you might feel early because it's twins? I think many women experience things early. 11 weeks would be very early for a singleton but there's 2 little sets of legs in there! :)

I'm having my usual 'movement where is it' woes. Silly, I felt some about 10 minutes ago. It's just I am coming up to the time you're meant to be aware of 'changes' but mine are random (not hourly as some say) so how will I know if it changes?

Top tip: Farah baby/child shops. Went to my local one got "First Time Parent" £2 and "Natal Hypnotherapy: Hospital/Birth Centre" (no booklet tho) £2. Saved about £18!! :) Plus they have cute top-end baby clothes for a few quid, and things like baths etc' super cheap. Will be checking them out in the coming 2 1/2 (eeek!) months.

Can I join you all please? Last month I lost my baby at 12 weeks, it's been 4 weeks since my ERPC and yesterday and today I've had very faint positives. Heads all over the place at the moment but very scared, I'm annoyed with myself for testing so early but it's done now. Can you lovely ladies give me a handhold while I wait and see if AF does show up?

Drama Welcome! Did you do your 2 week test (for a negative) before testing for a positive? If not you'll need to go to your GP for them to scan you and check it's a new pregnancy (which most likely it is). It's important to do this to avoid any infection risks from retained materials. :)

Good luck Seasides

Postit We each told a couple of friends around 8 weeks. Needed the support at that point. Before then, like you, it felt too early. We didn't tell family till after 12 week scan as I knew they would just worry with us but if we lived near them that may well have been different because it would have been harder to hide my nausea/exhaustion!

I would've thought with two you'd be more likely to feel things early amum Sorry I don't know about tests I imagine they have a way of accounting for two when they work out the bloods?

Thanks Squiz I've not heard of them but sounds fantastic. I was watching the natal hypnotherapy book on ebay and got distracted so missed the end of the auction, duh!

I am feeling a bit worried today, my concerns are rapidly shifting to when the baby is here. I was needing to save up for my share of the pram but dp now dp has bought one and I don't like owing him money and I feel a bit stressed thinking about how tight things are going to be even once I start working again after ML. Also he asked me yesterday if I was planning to give the baby a dummy (not really but ask me when it's screaming the house down!) and whether we'd be using protection for sex after the baby was here (he has a new book and had been reading about bf preventing ovulation -er, seen too many MN threads saying that didn't work!) Just all seems a bit full on today. Though I know I should be happy to be in this situation really.

Welcome Drama sorry you've had such a recent loss your head must be spinning a bit but congrats on your bfp!

Oh dear, the dreaded books! My DH was the same when we got a book first time round. But that's because he felt totally overwhelmed after going through it and needed to talk through the many many bits he didn't quite get (as if I was going to be any less clueless). There will never be enough money, babies are expensive creatures. DH and I have ploughed everything we had into our tiny cottage so we could give our child a home and now we've got two growing in there and very little space to put them when they come out. We will probably panic nearer the time but right now getting through each day is my only real concern. I got annoyed about the adverts for 'take your children to Disney whilst they're young' and thought what total bas*** the advertisers are for making me feel bad that I can't afford things like that. I do have plenty of time to love my babies though and give them lots of free fun times. The baby iPads and designer gear are not going to be entering this house.
Right, off to throw up and then have a sleep. It's so muggy today!

It's perfectly possible to do things cheaply. Nearly new sales and gumtree will be your friends!! We were so lucky with ds as had so many hand-me-downs from my SIL as she had twins. Girls, so not many clothes but things like seats and Moses basket etc. plus I really rate TU sainsburys for kids clothes!
You have love to give and that's the best thing ever. And one of ds' favourite toys was pasta in a tuppaware!!! And now he just loves mud and games like hide and seek. Yes he loves the iPad (but ours!!) but his best times are when he's

Playing with us - catch, digging or hide and seek!

Good luck seasides I hope all goes well.

Welcome drama - I echo squiz did you get a neg hpt after erpc? JIC is retained products.

squiz im 22 wks and freak out on daily basis on movements!

Thanks everyone - T minus 2 hours...argh. I do think listening to my natal hypnotherapy relaxation track each night is starting to help me calm down though - it has useful breathing exercises. Plus I've been running around all morning to try and distract myself.

All children need is love, and I know you have that in truckloads london, not expensive clothes or toys. And your DP is the last person you need to worry about being in debt to at a time like this - I'm sure he would feel bad just knowing you had that extra stress. We're lucky too in that almost everything will be hand-me-downs (though everyone's had girls, so it'll be a confused little boy if we're team blue!) and the rest is going to be from Gumtree/eBay.

I don't know what we're going to do for contraception after either - I've always known I was only having one, we're going to adopt subsequent children, but I really don't like the idea of going back on hormonal BC afterwards. Might be the dreaded copper coil for me, that seems like the only option, but I doubt I'm going to want anyone shoving a metal hook up my fanjo for quite some time post-birth.