Posifrickentivity thread: pregnant after miscarriage. TODAY WE ARE PREGNANT.

[squizita]

Continuing our journeys through pregnant after past loss.

Hand holding and support for all.

TODAY WE ARE PREGNANT.

Sorry you're going through this cake and curtains. Thinking of you and hoping for good news.

I'm afraid this is going to be a very me me me post, but I'm really struggling today and just need to moan.
DS (just turned 2) is going through an ignoring me/defiant phase at the moment and I'm finding it so hard to deal with. I'm so hormonal and irritable anyway and this really isn't helping. My back is killing me - previous lower back injury exacerbated by pregnancy and I'm obviously unable to take any anti-inflammatories - and he weighs a ton, so I'd really prefer he brings himself upstairs/to the car/back to his chair at mealtimes etc. rather than me having to manhandle him every time he turns his selective hearing on (which seems to be all the time the last few days). Lately I seem to be having to say everything ten times, in increasingly stern tones and then manhandle him anyway. I know this is just one of those things that terrible-twos do, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with when I am so sore and tired and sick and frustrated.

Completely lost it with him earlier when he kept saying no and laughing at me and I really shouted at him. I've shouted on odd occasions before, though I try my best not to, but in the past it's always been a short sharp shock thing, this time I really lost it and ranted. Had to put him upstairs in his room for time out - I needed it more than him! I went back after a few minutes and apologised for shouting (I'd really made him cry), explained that mummy gets cross and sad when he doesn't do as asked. I then asked him to say sorry too - really wish I hadn't done that. He said no and started laughing again. I had to walk away before I lost it again.

Eventually, after three more attempts, the promise of food downstairs made him go through the motions of saying sorry and having a cuddle and things went back to normal for an hour or so until he went for his nap. I'm really dwelling on it though, feel like such a terrible, ineffectual mother and can't stop bursting into tears.

Sorry for the very long, self absorbed post, I know you all have your own challenges to deal with at the moment, but I thought writing it down might help. I'm just so worn down by it

Oh no cake, I'm so sorry . I hope your scan gives another explanation than bad news And curtains, I'm so sorry you're both going through this.

You are NOT a bad mother ihavetowait! God, you would have to be a robot never to lose your temper, particularly when you're feeling fragile anyway. When I think of all the times my parents lost it because my sisters and I were being annoying...I understood at the time even (though I was older than two, of course, but as he was laughing and back to his tricks straight after he clearly wasn't too badly affected by your yelling!) I don't have any DCs yet, but I see my friends, I see them lose it, and I know I would in there place too. I'm just impressed you were able to walk away the second time rather than flip. Children can be SO annoying, there's no denying it! They really know how to wind us up, and they hardly need to try. Don't beat yourself up about it at all, it'll only make you easier to wind up next time because you'll already be on edge.

their, not there!

cake and curtain so sorry to hear about your bleeding. It's so worrying isn't it?

ihave I know what you are going through. My DD is 3.2yo and I'm afraid to say she's still not out from the terrible toddler years yet. I still have to carry her up to the carseat, the pushchair and her dining char. Despite her being able to do all of these herself. (And if only she will start walking everywhere like all the other toddlers seem to do)! Don't feel too bad about losing it. I've lost it so many times with the shouting. They are just really really good at pushing our buttons. Have you read Christopher Green's toddler taming? I found it really helped. Things like time out is as much for you as for the toddler. (Because you need to chill and stop yourself doing something worse). I find it not only help me focus on a strategy to use, but also knowing that it's not me that's the problem. Some toddlers are easier than others and it's not anything you've done to make it this way.

Hi all, I am not banking on 42 weeks: the prams (for example) I have looked at are in stock, and I've actually been told by the sales reps in M&P and Mothercare 25 weeks is a bit early to order as they'll 'clutter the house from 30 weeks for 7 weeks'! Not to mention my CBT who said there is 'never' any reason to purchase things prior to 28 weeks (when viability is at 80%, big milestone) if it will raise anxiety. As I'm on maternity next year, I have the 6 weeks of summer before my maternity starts with zero work to do except shop: essentially I will be off from 29 weeks! My friend was clumsily suggesting because I'm a RM mum I 'will' have a premature baby TBH, not that the pram might take a few weeks to come into stock. She is really daft and scary like this at times, she can't help it.

Cake and Curtains :( Really, really hoping for you that this is a clot or cervical bleed and nothing more. FX for your scan.

MW did check the HB. Textbook speed ... baby went a bit mad though, kept kicking the doppler wand off my belly!! MW also had to explain to trainee she didn't have to ask all the domestic violence questions because the bruises were clexane!

It's a scary thread today. Hope everyone is holding on in there and get good news. This pregnancy stuff is pure petrifying. Went to the doctor today to get antibiotics for a UTI. Feels really sore and uncomfortable down there and I spend every minute worrying it will turn into miscarriage.
Havetowait you would have to be a saint not to lose it on occasion. I've been around enough friends and family to know that. My friend with twin girls was on the brink of breakdown when they turned two and became possessed by the devil! How she copes I do not know. I do wonder as I stroke my bump if my two will drive me to insanity but we have to all do the best we can. Any of you who are pregnant and have kids already deserve a medal, I couldn't do it.

I have the same thing with the clexane bruises Squiz. When the GP checked my tummy today I said "right, you will see a variety of angry clexane bruises and a large patch of psoriasis. I'm telling you this so you don't think I'm being beaten" and she said "oh, right ok". These days I try and just get in there before they give me the look or make a shocked noise when I lift my top!

amum, like most things in life you just have to get on with it, hope that tomorrow is a better day and move on when they're being awful. You will cope when you get there cos there isn't much choice.
havetowait, you did everything right. Some days they are little so-and-sos, and you just have to keep your expectations low. DH fell foul of this this morning, as DD was in a massive massive strop due to falling asleep before she had any stories last night (woke us up at 4am demanding stories, eventually brought her in with us as I'd had enough nonsense). She was in a slowcoach mood and DH almost lost it with her - funny how easy it is to stay calm when the other parent is doing a good pressure cooker impression. 2 is a difficult age as they're defining boundaries and learning about themselves. I didn't start time out until I was sure she understood that being taken away to sit on her own was a) punishment and b) not a fun time to naff off and get some toys, and I try to use it sparingly as it loses its impact if it is every time. But they still know how to push our buttons.

Thank you all ladies for your kind words and I'm pleased to say I can lighten the mood a little for once! So had a scan, fully expecting the worst and feeling full of rage at the world, only to see a little bean and hear a heart beat!! Cannot believe it, I bled so much I would never have thought it possible to still be pregnant. It turns out the placenta may have bumped into something on the wall of my uterus which ruptured a blood vessel there, hence the massive bleed. There is evidence of the remains of a clot which I will most likely pass at some point unless it gets absorbed. I've been told to expect brown yucky discharge but if it's fresh bleeding then I need to get straight back as that would be something else. The bean measured 6+3 days, so 3 days behind where I thought I'd be but they were not concerned at all about that and said I wouldn't have had a chance to get back to a normal cycle since my mmc. The lady at the clinic said this one is a fighter to survive a bleed like that. I really really hope she's right. We are not out of the woods yet and I'm going back in a little over 2 weeks to see what's what. But today I am pregnant. Flippin eck!

curtains keeping it all crossed for you, I hope you get good news soon xxx

Thank you again everyone for the hand holding x

Oh cake - so sorry to hear a about the bleeding. How was the scan this afternoon? Thinking of you

curtains sorry you have had bleeding too. When do you have another scan booked? Was it two weeks?

My ds (2.5) is also mega hard work. I've lost it with him a couple of times and just had to go in another room. One was when he was adamant he didn't need a wee and then just pissed all over the chair just 30 seconds later. He also has selective hearing and the only way I can get him to listen is to threaten to take something away! Like turn off his tv programme or he only gets one story, or we can't go to the park. Or flip it and bribe him - so we can can only go to the park if you do x,y,z. Some days he's angelic and does everything I say without question, and others he's really testing me and my patience and only bribes work! Probably terrible parenting but I don't have loads of energy at the moment and it seems to work!

Cake that is truly wonderful news!!! I am so happy and relieved for you. Fx for a calmer next few weeks.

Wonderful news cake !

Cake - what fab news! It's given me some hope too - thank you!

I had another bleed on Friday, v similar to the first except with smaller, stringer clots. I was sure it was over Friday night, and was just waiting for the big bleeding to begin.

However, I felt a bit nauseous on Sunday, and this morning I was sick for the first time. Not been able to really get rid of the nausea properly all day. I'm really hoping, given today's events and now your fab news, that I might be able to have good news at my scan tomorrow morning too! X

Good news cake!!! :)
curtains hope you're okay? And joosie is it two weeks till your scan or is it Friday?

Phew cake what a relief! :)

Great news cake!

For those who asked, next scan is next Thursday, although obviously sooner if the bleeding steps up a level. Still bleeding a bit, just taking things one hour at a time.

Ah cake that's fabby news! So pleased for you!!

cake that is fantastic

Great news cake so pleased for you!

Ah great cake! [Grin] Yay!!

He he Squiz yeah not toooo soon! Lol at littlesquiz kicking the doppler!!

Thanks One I've never been called lean before. I like it!

Nice to hear similar about people getting things ready. Can also understand not wanting to. I have to say we are creating a pile. I'm not there on putting it into furniture yet. Funny the distinctions you make in your head isn't it!

Your trip sounds good Gail I hope it is relaxing.

Cake I am so sorry you had such a shit day yesterday but omg a little fighter indeed! Thinking of you as well Curtains fx.

Ihave that sounds challenging. I've no advice as no kids yet! But I hope it helped to share here and totally agree with what Seasides said.

Good luck tomorrow Joosie

Fantastic news cake! So happy for you
Hoping you get good news too joosie and curtains

Hope you feel better soon aMum

Thanks for the pep talk guys. I know he's being a typical toddler, I just wish I had a bit more patience and energy to deal with this stage. My temper is on such a hair trigger at the moment and the timing is pretty unfortunate. A couple of months ago he was a lovely, well behaved child, then he turned two and someone cranked his difficulty level up a few notches - it really did seem to happen overnight! Terrible twos and a hormonal neurotic mother really aren't the best combination
Hey ho, tomorrow is another day...hopefully a better one!

Hi lovely ladies,

Been taking a step back a bit while I patiently wait my next scan (next weds). Time seems to have stood still. No news here though, so I guess that's good news. No real symptoms. Boobs are still big and sore and have VERY mild bouts of nausea, but nothing that I would really consider as ms.

Cake, I'm so glad that all turned out ok in the end. Really hope that all settles down now.
Curtains - I hope things turn out ok for you too. I'm so sorry you're going through all this worry.

great news cake, so pleased for you. Hope we get similar good news from the other ladies shortly.

I had a reassurance scan today, 11 weeks, all looking good - we are thrilled and feeling hopeful.

Great news Moomin! The odds of everything turning out well with a positive scan at that stage are very good indeed hope the good news keeps coming!