Posifrickentivity thread: pregnant after miscarriage. TODAY WE ARE PREGNANT.

[squizita]

Continuing our journeys through pregnant after past loss.

Hand holding and support for all.

TODAY WE ARE PREGNANT.

Just a quick note to penguin to say happy due date for tomorrow - sorry for the early post but hoping I'll go into labour tomorrow so I'm not induced on Wednesday - hope you are doing well xx

Hope everyone doing well xxx

squitiza I could sit down fine but I took paracetamol and an anti inflammatory for a week or two? The only bit that was uncomfortable was a weekish after giving birth the stitches felt tight.

What took longer for me is my stomach muscles going back to a normal feeling but I have asked friends and they didn't notice anything with their stomach muscles.

Aww thanks emki. Will keep my fingers crossed for mini-emki turning up tomorrow. Are they really inducing you on Wednesday, that seems quite soon after your due date? I think the policy here is to induce when 12 days over.

Thanks for the tip about arnica tablets - can you just get them from the pharmacy? Do you have to ask at the counter?

Sorry to hear about the scary spotting and bleeds that have been happening, sending posifrickingtivity to everyone with worries.

squitza I had a c section with my son, and even though I got back to pre pregnancy weight within about 4 months, my old clothes didn't fit as I had a overhang type of belly, like a pouch of skin over my scar. But mummy friends which had natural deliveries seemed to go back from anything from about 3 months to haven't not gone back and their kids are all 3 years plus now x

And I was meant to add, even those who had episiotomies, ventouse or forceps seemed ok after a few days. The only one who had issues was one who had a 3rd degree tear, she had to have corrective surgery poor love x

My episotomy was only really painful for the first few days until they took the stitches out. After that I was still pretty slow on my feet for the first week or two, shuffling around the house. Had a haemmerroid which was very painful for the first few days...it was HUGE!

In terms of baby weight, I've never lost the last few kilos of baby weight, though I'm fairly fit (started training for a 10 k run when DS was 2 and a half months old). A lot of my slim fit or really tailored pre-pg stuff doesn't fit me because my hips are now wider and my rib cage expanded. Neither has completely gone back to how it was.

I'll admit I had a really easy labour, only 7 hours and all during the day which made a big difference as I was rested. I found getting stitched up afterwards more painful than the contractions and pushing (I think the injection she gave me for the episotomy was beginning to wear off by the time the placenta had come and they could start).

We were sent packing 3 hours after birth so got to sleep in our own bed, though scared shitless when we arrived home with thisnewborn baby and no idea what to do with it!

Luckily in Holland your I surance company pays for a kind of maternity doula for the week you get home. You only have to pay a small amount, like €200. We had a woman in for an hour when we got home to help settle us, make sure bed was made properly, try to kick start bf (didn't like the lady we had the first night...she told me she couldn't speak english then leaned over and squeezed my boob!). Then we had someone everyday from about 8am till 4am. She (or they, ours swapped half way through the week) helped me with bf - great when it wasn't getting started so she helpedus get a pump sorted - , did my breakfast and lunch, washing up, washing, showed me how to bath baby, changed beds while dh helped me in the shower, took ds downstairs so I could get some more sleep. It was fab! Especially since my DM was still over in tbe UK with the rest of my family.

Happy due date emki and penguin!

Arnica pills can just come from boots - in the homeopathy section I think. About £4 for a tube.

Apparently you can take ibuprofen again (says friend who has just have c section) after birth so if I get that far this time I will be doing that if it's ok with bf which I assume it is? Paracetamol doesn't do much tbh.

I had both episiotomy and 3rd degree tear (with ventouse as ds head was the wrong angle - coming out at widest point) and turned out ok. But doctor did my repair work immediately after birth, and took me into theatre to do it. Tactfully said 'you may lose control of your bowels unless I do this now'. Glad he did as I can't report my bowels are fine! Its in my notes that this time, if I tear again a registrar is to repair. That's if am allowed a vbac which at the mo I am!

Anyone who does need stitches I would make sure you are numb down there as I've heard many people say can be more painful than labour as all the adrenaline has gone and left with fading locals or epidurals which mean they feel everything - I would ask for another local as it's my nightmare being able to feel that!!!

I know for some of you birth isn't til ages away / question you will ever get there. That was me until I had my consultant appointment at 19 weeks and he made me think about it. Still feel funny about it, worry it could all still go wrong but I think it's sadly what most preg after mc are like.

Typo - can report, not can't report! Ie my bowels are fine (just for the record!!!)

I had a bit of a nightmare labour which ended in a failed forceps attempt needing stitches and ultimately an emergency c section. I wouldn't have known I even had stitches down below if the surgeon hasn't told me as the c section wound was the painful part. Recovery from an emergency section is hard - at no other time in your life would you have major abdominal surgery then be expected to be up through the night caring for a newborn, it's quite bonkers! Painkillers were my friend for a while, lots of after pains as they'd ended yo tearing quite a bit of muscle in the rush to get dd out. Stitches down below were totally fine, no issues there. It was probably a good 8 weeks before all pain was gone. I ended up losing the baby weight quickly because of breast feeding - I had major over supply issues! - and also did a lot of walking to get dd to nap. I soon weighed less than before I had her, not intentionally but just purely being active rather than sitting at a desk. I was given good advice by my gp who said don't even think about trying to lose weight before 6 months, just be kind to yourself, eat well and it will happen, you and your body will have been through a lot so be nice to it! My weight has stayed off and 2.5 yrs later I still weigh less than I did, thanks to running around after a toddler, but my body shape has changed so I carry more weight on my tummy area and less on hips etc. and my c section scar is barely visible, amazing really.
There is no standard recovery from birth - everyone is different and until it happens you really won't know how it'll be. As with all aspects of pregnancy etc, this is yet another case of pot luck I think! X

Meant to say I was fit before I had dd, running half marathons etc so had decent core muscles, midwife said that was a good think gas helps recovery.

And amum report that midwife! She sounds bonkers and not someone I'd want to see, she shouldn't be allowed out!

amum that sounds horrendous. Complain, and make sure you dont see her again.

penguin, I gad a nightmare labor and eventual emergency csec too, and no pain relief after 24h as I am allergic to NSAIDs (nurofen, aspirin etc.) and they didn't offer anything else. I took arnica once home, and can also recommend. Adding a drop of tea tree oil and/or salt to the bath also helps healing and soothing sore bits. I wound up needing 2 second surgeries, so tried lots of remedies.
I was back in my pre preg jeans within a week, however I continued to lose weight whilst feeding DS. It took me 2 years to regain the weight. On another note, I was back running and cycling again the second the doc allowed it. 6 weeks I think.
Best wishes for an uneventful delivery.

mrsg sorry to hear that. Hope meds are effective and you stay well for as long as pos x

fedup Anyone who does need stitches I would make sure you are numb down there as I've heard many people say can be more painful than labour as all the adrenaline has gone and left with fading locals or epidurals which mean they feel everything

Yes yes. I had a silent labour so the contractions weren't that painful at all. (No one believed I was in active labour though I couldn't talk through all of them). However the cut was really really really painful. I am sure I screamed like a banshee and that's from someone with obviously a very high pain threshold. I thought they didn't use any local anesthetic, but DH told me they did. I asked the MW at the booking in and she said they must have too as they'll never do it without. But omg it's painful.

My episiotomy was quite rushed as I was pushing for an hour, they called some guy in (who I assume is a registrar or consultant) and he said, we needed this baby out and we needed an episiotomy. I didn't have time to think and make sure it's numb there. And I had two nights without sleep as I had a very very long labour. I hope it'll be 7 hours this time and all in the morning!

And I can't believe how many of us have nightmare labour too (on top of the miscarriage trauma).

Thanks all. So from what I am hearing here and RL friends, even with a lot of stitches you can move round before 6 months! Phew.
Going to put "numb me before stitches" on my (short, mainly about sending the placenta to the lab) birth plan.

A RL mate who had a 3rd degree got quite exasperated and said "that's (scare stories as if they're the norm) why people get so scared- if they're done neatly and you keep them clean they'll be fine!" Going to keep this as my mantra lol.

I have been offline this weekend and the stupid Android app is not working, so it has taken me a while to catch up!

MrsG, I am sorry to hear about that added stress. Try focusing on the positivity that at least they are monitoring you carefully and you know the signs.

Last day at work before mat leave for me today, feels very strange!

have a great last day pg!

Looks like I won't get time to buy arnica tablets, Pingu has decided it is hatching time. Contractions started 11.30pm and currently 3cm. Wish me luck!

mrsgiraffe12 good luck with your blood pressure. I hope that it doesn't increase.

amuminwaiting, what a very awful woman. I am sorry you had to meet someone who couldn't be tactful. Actually it is worse, she just sounds really odd.

joosiewoosie good luck Wednesday. My scan is Wednesday too.

penguinita good luck!!! Very exciting. ??

That was meant to be

Yippee penguinita lots of luck x

Oooh Penguin exciting! Good luck! :)