Posifrickentivity thread: pregnant after miscarriage. TODAY WE ARE PREGNANT.

[squizita]

Continuing our journeys through pregnant after past loss.

Hand holding and support for all.

TODAY WE ARE PREGNANT.

At the risk of being a scaremonger, I definitely had downward kicks last time I was pregnant, like you describe. Unfortunately I went into early labour at 23 weeks. I have no clue if the things were related, but given my experience paranoia I wouldn't think twice about going to triage if I was concerned.

Hopefully you have no reason to worry.

I don't have an answer to that cervix question but I had a few painful kicks down there with ds and it was ok. Partic towards the end - well it's wasn't kicks, it was more punching. No problems for me that time.
I would ask mw though if concerned - call if worried before next apt. And get doing those pelvic floor exercises - I know won't necc help with the cervix but will help feel it's stronger down there for when baby gets heavier.

Sorry you're going through such a worrying time Joosie - I really hope that Wednesday brings some positive news. Sending you lots of POSIFRICKINTIVE vibes.

No more pink cm, thanks Fedup. Taking each day at a time. Trying to stay positive. Small time goals are definitely making things easier.

That sounds horrible joosie, I hope you get some good news on Wed. It's amazing how resilient they can be, I think we do struggle to believe that with our fears and bad experiences, but there have been some wonderful stories on here and the Dec due thread about healthy beans after all sorts of bleeding shenanigans.

Glad to hear no more pink English, phew. Hope it was just one of those things.

In the airport waiting to fly south to see my pg sister for the first time since Jan, very excited but very tired, didn't sleep at all last night. Does anyone else have trouble sleeping while pg?

Also, if I may ask a personal question, (like there's any other kind on here) has anyone else gone right off sex? I don't know if it's coz I'm knackered or have been feeling dodgy, but I feel so sorry for dh, I am genuinely crap in the bedroom department right now. I was so looking forward to our sex life going back to normal after the long months of ttc, but the poor guy is getting less action than ever!

Have a lovely holiday Seasides! Hopefully you'll get some proper r&r and some sleep! I'm also not sleeping brilliantly.

DH is on a sex ban until 2nd trimester!! Poor sod!!

Morning everyone and thanks for the warm welcome!

Bit nervous about work tomorrow, have to have the chat with my boss and tell him I'm pregnant again..eek! (I work in a lab with some dangerous chemicals so have to tell him ASAP so I can change what I'm working on). He is super lovely and was so supportive during my last pregnancy and after the MC, but it's barely sunk in for me ye that I even am upduffed and I don't feel ready for the chat!

Hi all. Sorry for my absense over the weekend, it's been a bit hectic.

Went up to hospital Friday afternoon for monitering (awful headache for 3 days that wasn't fading with pain killers.DS was born at 32 weeks due to PET so have to be super careful). Finally came home yesterday afternoon! Had bloods taken, urine taken and baby was monitored. Good news it baby is well, bad news is BP had started to rise and I have +1 protien in my urine, as well as leukosites,plus stuff in my blood meaning my kidneys are struggling a bit. they think I'm going to get pre eclampsia again :-( so fed up!! But have been given even more BP meds and have to see my midwife weekly now and ANY symptom outside these appointments means I have to go straight up day assessment. They have said if I deliver before 28 weeks we would have to be transported to a hospital 2 hours down the road as our SCBU don't do very high dependency care :-(

So much for all the professionals saying if pre eclamlsia does reoccur in a subsequent pregnancy, it tends to be later and not as severe :-(

mrsg sounds a bit scary. But it's a good thing you went and they are looking after you so hopefully will mean baby can stick on there longer and won't need special care.

Phew - english glad it's stopped.
seasides I have trouble sleeping, but it's intermittant. One night will sleep like a log, others I won't sleep at all. Typically before something important!

We have had sex twice since being preg and last time I got lots of ewcm after wards (def not sperm) so got scared I was losing mucus plug so we have agreed no proper sex til baby comes. May sound extreme but both of us are signed up to it to not cause any un necc worry and DH can cope! I also don't feel like it at all.

Ps. Good luck gail
I had to tell my boss early too (more cos all the appointments were on the same day and I kept needing to disappear!). It was ok and I told him how genuinely scared I was / didn't want to talk about it but wanted him to understand where I was at. He was great, I was surprised how great as even got my major lunatic wobbles.

Phew English glad the cm is back to normal.

Curtains thankfully baby seems to have moved around since yesterday and all is back to normal. I did consult my big Lesley Regan book which mentions a cross over phase (25-26 weeks, I'm 24+ so about there) where the baby is big enough to make itself properly felt but in the upright 2nd trimester position and twisting about - some of the movements can be alarming and feel like "they [mum] will be damaged or that their baby will suffer an injury as a result of all this vigorous activity. Neither will occur" ... sounds like what I had yesterday. Baby has gone back to the usual, hoofing me in the bladder and sides. I would call in if it hurt or if I had concerns about CM/the plug/cervix. They checked it and it looked pretty strong last scan thankfully.

Seasides it's really hard to sleep, not just because of body shape but also I'm always hot or cold, never just right! As for sex, too nervous about bleeding (have a bit of spotting at the best of times, sensitive skin on cervix ... with clexane can imagine it being a scary trip to A&E).

MrsG sorry to hear you've got all that hassle and worry! :( FX PET stays off!

PS top tip. Primark have 'cami dresses' (ie vests that are very long) which I found work as well as maternity vests, but at £3.50 a pop. :)

Thanks Seaside and English. I've only had a little brown blood and no fresh stuff today, so I'm hoping it was just a strange one off. Been really tired today though! Had a 2 hour nap at lunchtime ( thank goodness for bank hol and DH looking after DD so I can snooze!). I think some of it is emotional tiredness too. Fingers crossed hcg is up tomorrow and scan is good on Weds. Sorry posts are a bit self absorbed at the mo. Promise they won't be when/if things settle down x Ta for being a good ear!

that is really good news joosie that there is no fresh stuff. I know there have been a lot of posts where people have had 'random' bleeding without obvious cause and there has still been a sticky bean at the end of it. So I hope this is the case for you. Glad you have been able to get some rest today. It is such a rollercoaster.

Glad your baby movement is back to normal squizita that must be a huge relief.

Good luck tomorrow gail that is great he has been supportive in the past.

Joosie that sounds hopeful. FX all is well!

Amicable having read up on it in my big book of paranoid pregnancy I think I was being paranoid anyway. Surely the uterus will be equally kickproof all the way round, and the baby is small yet... would be a bit of a design flaw if a misplaced hoof could cause a bleed!

Good news switzita :-)

Squizita I mean (it's been a long day...)

I am sure you are right squizita, it is lovely to know you've been paranoid though and everything is as it should be! I don't think logic will ever get in the way of my paranoia though!!!

MrsG sorry to hear your news. FX for you.

AFM nothing much to report, which is nice.

OK quick question for those with DCs. Read the 'things you wish they told you' thread on childbirth. One post says it will take 6 months to "heal" and a further 6 months to not look pregnant anymore. Like that's what 'happens' every time.
Now, not having had a baby yet, I'm just going by what friends say/look like, but I thought recovery can vary hugely from weeks to months? Depending on birth scenario and general health. Not so bothered about the weight but 6 months of not being able to sit down: ouch.

No more brown spotting since I freaked out. I have tell you all about my booking with the midwife it was so odd. She was a week late and then turned up about 2 rather than the morning. We spent ages going through my extensive history and then she asked how old my child first was, which took me aback. "no, they're all dead" I said. And then later on she was getting ready to go and took my arm saying "oh I do hope you're not disappointed, I mean, I hope your baby isn't horrible or anything". I said "no I'm sure I'll love my baby". I have after all held two of the babies I lost and I felt overwhelming love for them so don't worry about not loving my child! So odd.
Anyway, yesterday visited friends and had pizza (more food than I'd probably had all week), therefor I puked all the way home, again when I got back, then woke up to a morning of being ill the other end! So tomorrow is the next scan in London and I'm dreading the travel there and dreading the scan itself. I'm so worried that they'll have terrible news. The midwife was completely sure that I won't have twins but one will reabsorb. She also pointed at my missed miscarriage and announced "blighted ovum". Thing is I'd had a 6 weeks scan with that baby and seen a heartbeat but couldn't be doing with arguing.

Ok. So honestly, it took me 4/5 months to lose my baby weight (I put on 3.5 stone! And heading that way again!) through gentle exercise and bf, no crash diet. I could
Only do gentle exercise really as wasn't allowed to do anything high impact for 6 months.

My recovery 'down there' was ok - I think I was 'lucky' to be sewn up in theatre by a doctor and not by a mw using a head torch (happened to one friend!!)
whenever the MW came round after birth and checked my stitches, I got a 'well, isn't that a good repair job' ha ha! I never dared look or even touch it as am really squeamish. I did have probs with wee and poo for a bit due to pelvic floor damage / tear but that's all ok after lots of exercises to strengthen it again. I had a third degree tear (basically tore into my bottom).
I religiously sat in a shallow bath every day with drops of tea tree and lavender oils in - did the trick! Really recommend that for cleaning and soothing. Just 10 mins was enough.
I had no probs sitting down. Was very stiff and walking like geriatric cowboy after birth but only for a few days and that was from pushing and yanking my legs back not from my stitches.
In all honesty I don't know anyone who had trouble sitting down for more than a few days... There were some who had probs with their stitches but all got sorted within the early weeks. C section recovery is typically longer as major surgery.
Just mine and my friends experience though, can't speak for everyone!

amum firstly glad there has been no more spotting.
Sorry to hear about that awful MW though, what was she thinking???? A horrible baby? Who says that? And what is a horrible baby anyway. Given me rage
I hate it when they don't listen. It was your body and your babies so you would know, not her.
Hope the journey and scan goes ok tomorrow - it's nerve wracking at any time never mind with your history and then seeing a mw like that the day before. Fx for you

amum honestly why do these people even decide to be midwives? It's a very people facing kind of job! I got the feeling she hates people. Really what was she thinking?

squizita who says that? I was a lot more lucky than fedup re birth damage. I had a episiotomy and ventouse. I think the episiotomy prevented the tear? Anyway I was walking fine the moment left the delivery room. I remember going to the hospital shower with my bloodied stuff and then lie down in the postnatal ward with DD. I didn't have trouble sitting down afterwards. But I did use arnica cream on the scar as I could feel the stitches and it's a bit slimy. (Sorry TMI). I started as soon as the doctor cleared me with postnatal yoga. And then not long afterwards mummy and baby aerobics. I wore my pre pregnancy wrap dress when leaving hospital so I was back in the same size pretty much straight away. I have photos of myself in normal skinny jeans at 3mo. (Can't remember when I started getting back into the tighter clothes). However I have a dodgy back from a sports injury in my 20s. That really came back and I couldn't bend to change nappies on the floor. I was glad I got a drop side cot too as I couldn't lower baby into cot with dropping the side. I don't think I got my back back until a year? So maybe there is some truth to what you hear? Especially if you have previous injuries that can be exaggerated post birth? (I see people struggle with weight too if they are the kind the needs a lot do careful dieting to keep a good weight).

Actually I am a lot bigger this time round. I'm now finding even my pants have gone tight at 23weeks! I think I have mentioned the joggers I wore to DDs birth no longer fit? I blame the lack of exercise though. Not because of previous childbirth. I used to go to the gym 3 times a week. But with my new job I have swapped it with 2 hours in the car a day

Yes - I also recommend arnica pills (take first one in labour!) as no idea if helped but might of reduced bruising and pain down there.

Amum if you're concerned about that midwife, you can email the supervisor of midwives. TBH she sounds... weird.

Thanks Fedup - sorry to hear you had a big tear, but how you describe your recovery is quite reassuring, many thanks for that.
One thanks, again very reassuring. I'm bracing myself for the bad back having had it in the past, though I think it's related to my blood condition as it has VANISHED since I went on clexane (like, overnight). I wonder..? Mr Rai suggested it it comes back after birth, see the GP and get back on baby aspirin.

So long as I can sit down :) I'll be OK!