Depressed about sex of unborn baby

[nutcracker]

A friend of mine is very concerned about her sister who is expecting her 3rd baby. She has 2 dd's and longs for a ds. At her scan last week she was told that the baby is almost certainly a girl.
My firend said that since then her sister has been very deperessed and getting her to talk about the baby is very difficult. My friend is worried that her sister will now reject or have alot of trouble bonding with the baby when it arrives.
I just wondered if anyone else had experianced this.
I have never been bothered either way about the sex of my children. I have 2 dd's and when pregnant for the 3rd time i really didn't mind what i had.

hmb, my mum is just the same but, not having any boys, she chose to behave like this about my middle sister. Me and my oldest sister could just go and jump unless she wants something. It was always this way, I thought I had a great free and liberated upbringing but the truth is she ignored me much of the time. I got on well with my dad but he still thought of my middle sister as special, i.e. the cleverest, the prettiest, the funniest etc. The weird thing is, she was always different and we now know its because she's got Aspergers syndrome. They didn't know this and treating her so differtnly only made it worse imho.

When I was pregnant with dd (we already had a ds) both dh and I were convinced that I was carrying a boy - we were 100% certain that we had seen a perfect set of boys bits on the last scan at about 30 weeks. Just yesterday dh told me that he was so happy that dd was a girl - and that he had been disappointed to think we were going to have another boy. I on the other hand had been looking forward to having two boys and was very disappointed to have a girl. It took me a couple of months to accept my feelings of disappointment and even longer to stop feeling guilty about it. But it hasn't stopped me bonding with her and loving her utterly.

Why were you initially disappointed with having a daughter rather than a second son Prettycandles? (genuine question - I'm interested in what makes people have a gut feeling for a particular gender preference)

Been wondering if I dared post but here goes,

When I was pregnant for the second time I longed for a ds. I had a ds and I could not stop thinking about having a ds. I have no idea why I felt this way and the force of longing made me feel confused and guilty about my pregnancy. I was embarassed about it then and I am now. I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone about it as I was so ashamed of my feelings and my lack of control over them. I knew if I had a dd I would love her and yet I still had these longings which took over my head. I consider myself a fairly rational and logical person, I come from a loving and stable family with no history of preference for one gender over another, dh had no preference, I had absolutely no need to feel like this and yet I couldn't stop it.

Even thinking about it now upsets me, this is the first time I've mentioned it.

I chose not to find out the sex at the scan.

I suppose what I'm (belatedly) saying is that perhaps nutcracker's friend's sister is overwhelmed and confused by her feelings too and we should cut her a break?

WOW, haven't read the whole thread but i've skimmed and i think i see both sides.
I wasn't really bothered about sex, just wanted a healthy baby but i DO understand a slight leaning towards a sex! I would LOVE another at the moment and it would be nice in my opinion for dd to have a sister, but it would also be nice for her to have a brother, i have two sisters, so i guess i'm just rambling about how close sisters can be. (Not always mind!!!!)
HOWEVER, i really naievely (sp) thought i'd get pregnant straight away, done it ALOOOOT these last few months and nothing yet! I know i'd love to be pregnant at the moment with a baby.....boy or girl!
Also, just to prove the point of, 'health is everything really', they wont tell here of the sex either so i didn't know.
I gave birth and there was meconium when they broke my waters and they whisked the baby off to clear it's airways. There was me, dp and my mam. After about ........i don't know.........20 seconds, she made a noise and we all breathed again, only then did we all say..........
"What is it?"

I would probably have preferred a girl first - though so delighted to be pregnant didn't really care. I just didn't know any boys and have all female friends. Now I feel so honoured to be my son's mother and feel so close to him and feel I truly 'understand' him and him me, as far as he can at 21/2 . I think if I'd had a girl I'd still be in a kind of female bubble and it is so wonderful, and I think, healthy for me, to realise how much I can love and enjoy this male person in my life who is so tender and funny and imaginative etc. It's really been a revelation to me.
And I have to say, Mumsnet has sometimes opened my eyes as to how badly mothers and daughters and sisters and brothers can get on. There are really no guarantees.

Clayhead - wow I could have written your post. I felt exactly like this when I was pregnant again, having already had two ds. I was convinced I was having a girl - the pregnancy was very different from the previous ones. But I just bottled it up, and denied these feelings really. When the baby was born - frighteningly speedily - I was shocked at my feelings of relief when they told me it was a boy ... I thought I had logically convinced myself that it really didn't matter.

... Now that I have two boys 4 and 6, not at all sure why I didn't want a girl?!

Yes, Clayhead, that is so much how I felt too. It doesn't make any sense, it's totally irrational - but that is how we were when we were pregnant! I think, hmc, that I so enjoyed being mother to a boy, that it seemed the most wonderful thing in the world to double that. I remember mourning for the girly things that I would be missing out on by having another boy - teaching about periods, shopping for a first bra, watching a weepy together - things that I remember doing with my mother.