Today we are pregnant! Thread for those pregnant after miscarriage

[JBrd]

Come and join us for lots of support, handholding and posifrickentivity! (Not sure I spelt that right...)

tinks I would firstly tell your gp or EPU about the stabby pains as if they are thinking possible ectopic they they would want to scan you. But otherwise I would pay for a scan. Many of us have on here and reckon I will pay for another one. I had 4 scans by 13 weeks! 3 of NHS and one private based at the same hospital for £60. Basically if you have the money I would do it, it's worth it for your sanity!!

Thanks for all the advice on clothes! I'm actually wearing a maternity dress today as somehow makes me look smaller than normal dresses. I've decided to try and embrace it rather than hide it. I asked someone yesterday if they had noticed and they said no - not until you pointed it out. Phew. So I think the scarves / jacket help. But I also think I need to tell work. There is no way I can keep it from them til 21 weeks. And I don't want them to put me on a horrible project with lots of travel either. It's 6.5 weeks til my anomaly scan! Anyone else find one minute they feel really quite confident about their pregnancy then the next a total wobbly paranoid mess? I'm like a friggin yoyo!

That didn't read quite right.... I'm not going to embrace my bump as it run around in crop tops, I meant just stop worrying about it and stressing about trying to hide it. Just going to go with it like I did my first pregnancy. Come on fedup, you can do it! See... I am mad, talking to myself now!

That's pretty standard tinks I think an 8 week scan is worthwhile if it help with your anxiety levels, and if all is well at 8 weeks MC risk drops dramatically to 3%. Go with your dates not the doctor's though, because if you are much earlier and can't see a HB you are going to worry. If you go with your 8 weeks and get moved forwards that's a bonus. The other thing to consider is that you need to be within certain dates ( think 11+6 to 13+6) for NT measurement at "12" week scan, so a dating scan at 8ish weeks would be helpful to get that organised.

Hi All,

MrsG, glad to hear all was ok-ish and hope you're ok today xxx.

Cbeebies thank you for your comments on my other thread, it is nice to know it wasn't just me!

Nerdy thank you so much for the hug and support, it really helps and I feel a lot more cheerful about it all today xxx

frantastic welcome and congratulations! Your MIL sounds like she needs to start thinking before she speaks, what a horrible thing to say!

Alb really good luck for today! I didn't have to have a full bladder, but I was told that a bit of fluid in there helps to get a clearer picture, so if you can perhaps hold some?

wood welcome and congratulations! It's good to hear that you're being kept an eye on.

moomin I'm another one who had very bad cramps early on, I didn't know I was pregnant (stupid false negative test) so thought I was being poisoned by the hotel we were on holiday at . For me the cramps stopped at about 9 weeks, then started again at about 16, then morphed into braxton hicks.

JBrd not sure to say this without sounding patronising, but it isn't meant that way, I think you're doing absolutely amazingly to hang in there at such a tough time. Sending hugs xxx.

tinks I second what fedup said, definitely speak to GP/midwife/EPU and get them to scan you, really emphasise that you're getting sharp pains inthe tube area. It's probably nothing to worry about, but you really need it checked out x.

fedup glad to hear you've managed to solve the clothes situation. I got some really nice smart maternity workwear from Jo Jo Maman Bebe, and I found that until about 22 weeks, maternity wear made me look smaller too. It made me laugh at the idea of crop tops! Good for you for embracing it, I think it does make it less stressful in the long run, although I found it very difficult to get used to embracing it at first.
I still yoyo now when it comes to how confident I feel, I think that when I'm just trundling along doing my own thing I feel more confident, but when it comes to actually sorting out or doing anything baby/pregnancy related, I have a crisis of confidence and get terrified of jinxes all over again. We still haven't bought our pram or car seat as I'm too scared. I keep using the excuse that I need to have my car serviced before the car seat is installed, so there's no point getting it until then, but that excuse is wearing a bit thin . Plus my car is being serviced in two weeks time, and DH is very keen to get the car seat and pram asap, so I've agreed to get it after our scan in three weeks time, by which time I'll be 36 weeks.
Sorry, that was a long winded way of saying yes, my confidence goes up and down on a more than daily basis. I even hate shop assistants/strangers asking when I'm due as it gives me massive wobbles. xxx

No news from me today other than I think the hyperemesis is making a reappearance . I seriously hope not, so I'm keeping everything crossed that it goes away again .

Thanks for your replies girls.
Yeah i thought that too!
I may wait another 4 weeks when i feel comfortable at my 8 weeks and even if i dont have pains il say i do lol because they wont give me a scan otherwise. If not i may pay for it. I reckon my 12-13 weeks scan the hosp will give me will be around 1st week in june by there dates. I may just take loads of cheapy tests to show me i'm preg and might ease my mind lol!
I woke up again today with a like sharp twitch in my left tubey area... But i have read on dr google also that it can be normal at this stage as body is adjusting etc.... I will keep an eye on it!

So as we are all in our early stages, what are your dates for your scans? Anyone finding out the sex at the 20 week scan?? :)

Fedup yesterday I wore quite a stretchy/fitted top, and several people pointed out I looked "about 4 months" (what I am), whereas when I try to hide it I feel a bit 'is she or isn't she and just fat?' I'd rather look pregnant so am going for it.
Today I have worn maternity jeans for the first time.

Tinks I second the scan advice. I have a short cycle so was eventually dated a week ahead. Did mean I saw a HB 'early doors' though. If your cycle isn't tetbook and you're worried, go for it.

Stars NOOO! Hope it goes away! Bleurgh.

Will you mention the stabby pains before that tinks? It might be a good idea - though when my ectopic pains started they were really excruciating. Doesn't stop me worrying now that every twinge is a second one though! But I am telling myself it's more likely a corpus luteum cyst - they are very common and grow on the ovary you ovulated from, and can cause pressure to pain.

Been keeping up but work wifi too crap to post! Shitting it as my scan is at noon to check for 2nd ectopic. Realistically I know that I have none of the symptoms I had last time, but I also know every pregnancy is different, and there's a 10% chance it's another one. I've packed a hospital bag just in case, although as I've not had any pain or bleeding it would be a methotrexate to try and save the tube probably. Not that I'll want to save it if it is another ectopic, I think I'd rather just get it over with and move onto IVF. Hopefully not a decision I will have to face!

Fran - your MIL! Oh my word, that must have been so upsetting. Who could think that was an ok thing to say?!

Hope you're not feeling vommy stars, and everyone else is ok. It's hump day !

Exciting wardrobe choices squiz! Yes, if I ever get there I'd rather look pregnant too -plus I'm crap at keeping stuff to myself so everyone will know by then! Going to tell close family today if all well. Have told BF and will tell another couple when I talk to them next. FX!

good luck this afternoon seasides!

thanks ladies for the tummy pain advice - its good to hear that other people have experienced similar...its so early for me (4+3) so it sounds like it could go on for a while.

Tinks, I'd echo the other ladies and go for the private around 8 weeks.

It's a beautiful day today here so I my goal is to forget about babies for at least ten minutes as I try and distract myself!

Loving the positivity Fedup and Squiz Fedup I am mostly very confident and then get in a tail spin for no particular reason. I am not one for constant low level worry, it tends to be all or nothing for me. Yo yo indeed!

Lots of luck today Seasides, hopefully all will be well.

Good luck sea Fingers crossed that all is well and that you've packed the bag for nothing!

stars Hopefully, the hyperemesis stays away and it's just a temporary blip.
I'm with you on the reluctance to sort out anything baby-related... It feels like tempting fate, doesn't it?! For me, it's currently maternity clothes - DH got the bag from the loft last week, and I looked through it - and now it sits untouched again in the corner of our bedroom. I can't bring myself to get the stuff out, wash it or even consider wearing it, brrrr.

tinks I can recommend an early scan, I had my first at 8 weeks, and it lifted the weight of the world off me. Might be worth talking to your midwife again about it, or your GP? Sometimes they take pity and refer you. Especially if you keep mentioning the stabbing pains (which you should, if they persist).

Wood Personally, I think that 6 weeks is cutting it very fine to see a heartbeat. Sometimes they do, but very often it's too early and they can't see anything, causing more worry and anxiety because you will then have to wait another couple of weeks. Might be worth holding out a bit longer, if you can...

Some of you have awful MILs, can't believe what they have done/said Really hope you can manage to keep them in check and not let it upset you too much.

I am not letting my phone out of sight today. But knowing my luck, it'll be tomorrow until they phone me with the result...

JBrd I think I'm going to hang in there. The stories I've read online are similar to what you say. And I don't want to be worrying any more than I already am! Plus my dp is already off work in a couple I weeks, so might as well book it in for when we are both off together :) thanks :)

Wood, I had an early scan at 5+1 (previous gynae referral) and saw just the sac, this triggered an EPU consultation at 6+1, where we did see the embryo. However I wouldn't recommend this as a reassurance - there is a good chance it might be a bit too soon to see much, in which case they'll send you away to wait, and the MWs were careful to say to me that there were no guarantees that things would work out just because we'd seen a heartbeat. If you can wait til 8 weeks the chances of seeing something are much higher and the chances of a loss afterwards are smaller.
JBrd am crossing my fingers for you that they will come good with the test results today - I think you must have more patience than I have in my little finger! You have been amazing to put up with all of this, I think I'd have caved and gone for CVS by now.

I have just one week left to wait for the big 12 week scan, still feel hungry/sick/heartburn a bit but no other symptoms, no stretching, no obviously ascending uterus, just a bit fat, am taking the advice on clothing, today am in normal trousers with the buttons done with a hair bobble, a shirt and a scarf to hide the chub. But the waiting!

DD much improved today, I let her stay home with me for a couple of hours this morning, then brought her in to my office (it is quiet due to Easter hols so figured no likely damage). After 10mins or so of playing a game she asked to go to Nursery (a 5min walk). Her rash is a lot better and the docs didn't think she was still infectious, so I walked her over and she scarpered immediately to play with her friends.

Corpore, it is so wonderful that you just posted that. My scan didn't go so well - she thought she saw a sac, but nothing in it. The nurse said they would expect to see something at 5 weeks, so I'm completely gutted, but from googling it seems lots of people don't see anything. My boobs are definitely less tender today though, so I am panicking and so sad I just wanted to have good news, of course, I'm so sick of all this.

Glad your DD is better today, that's great.

Sorry for the mememe posts. I'm just waiting for my hcg blood results now, and feeling sorry for myself.

So sorry seasides there is of course always a glimmer of hope and I will keep my fingers crossed for that hormone levels are good so until your results come through here is a hug and a hand to hold

I'm back in the office today for the first time in almost a week. Going ok.
Now I'm back to my usual worries about movement!
I am getting movements, it's just they're still really low down and don't seem to be big or strong enough to me, I'm worried it means the baby hasn't grown. When I was measured the other week that was fine, but to me measuring my tummy is not really the same as the size of the baby.

I've also started thinking it's quite a lot of pressure to put on us to be the ones to notice if something's wrong with movements when really you've got no idea what it's supposed to be like!

seaside I'd have thought it would be unusual to see much at 5 weeks. Most places say 6 weeks would be the earliest. BUT on the good side I guess it means there is something happening and it's in the right place?

Do you have a follow up scan?

seasides I had a scan at 5+4 and they said that was the absolute earliest they'd expect to see an embryo - they could see a sac and a 1mm foetal pole at that stage, no HB. I think scans at that stage are often inconclusive (mine was just to make sure sac was in the uterus before starting clexane) so don't give up hope just yet. If there's a sac in the right place then that's positive. Hope your HCG level looks healthy.

seaside please don't let the "just a sac" thing worry you. At 5 weeks I don't know what else they'd expect to see - possibly a foetal pole but that's about it. My doctor won't scan anyone (unless pain and bleeding) until 8 weeks since he says things can be v uncertain before that and cause needless worry.
I hope that the HCG results give you reassuring news. Fingers crossed for you.

Thanks all. It's just so inconclusive. If I had strong symptoms I'd feel better, but...just got to try not to wind myself up too much before next Thursday. My hcg is 1962, which is 'appropriate' but low apparently - but nothing to compare it to to see if levels are going up or down. They still couldn't rule ectopic out because an empty sac can form then too apparently...no answers.

I'm going to retreat for a bit I think - sorry to jump in and out, I just don't think I'm going to be much fun for the next week. Really best of luck with everything, hope I can re-join you all soon.

seasides that's such sad news, but like everyone else says I don't think ud expect to see much else at that stage anyway so il be keeping fx that you get better results next week, but in the mean time I hope your getting lots of RL support.

Anomaly scan went well, exept baby was breech and back to back so they cudnt get the spinal measurement they needed or look at the kidneys which meant a lot of messing around and eventually going off for a half hour wall to try and move him, and after about an hour they got what they needed, but everything looks perfectly normal and bang on for my dates which is a huge relief. The woman said he was one of the most active babies she'd seen in a long time, but yet I still cudnt feel a single thing! But everything's looking good so that's all that counts

Seaside it really isn't so rare to see hardly anything at 5 weeks - given that the egg can implant over a range of 5 days or so, it really can vary in size at that point.

Alb good to hear! Especially that a normal sized active baby can give no feelings to mum at this stage... the 'felt kicks 2 minutes after DH put his pants back on' brigade can make those of us who don't have loads of movement 18-22w kinda time doubt what the MWs say (that it is OK). But clearly they are right, some healthy bubs just move without causing any twinges for a while! :) :)

seaside totally understandable. I trust they're going to test your HCG levels again in a couple of days to see if going up enough...?

Good luck to you

Everyone else hello - jbrd all the best with your results. hope you finally get news.

Over here I just can't wait to be 'official' - getting harder and harder to find clothes to disguise my growing belly and boobs. And will be such a relief to let it all hang out, stop trying to hold it in and just tell everyone 'yeah, I'm pregnant'.
12 week scan is on Tuesday. So close yet so far! I'm 11 weeks today. Some days I can't even believe I've come this far - when I thought I'd lost it at 6 weeks. Making it official will make it all seem more real and will stop all the pretence and half-truths. Really can't wait. Trying not to worry too much about scan. The fact that my belly is growing and that i still have PG symptoms makes me think that pregnancy must be okay.... right?

fedup i'm almost at the same clothes stage as you. think i'll have to start embracing maternity clothing quite soon which, I know, seems ridiculous at 11 weeks pg but after two kids everything seems to just pop out much quicker this time around.

And yes, totally relate to the yo-yoing between worry and confidence. I'm having an up today. But that's only coz I'm feeling a little sick (weird contradictions in pregnancy huh!) - I know I'll be having a huge wobble before my scan on tues.

All the best to everyone else!

Sorry that sounds quite stressful Seaside fx for you x

Great news Alb glad to hear all is well

I am having some very annoying 'catchy' chesty breathing that I'm going to have to get checked out. Not going blue or anything and no other symptoms apart from a cough has started with it too. Not sure I will get to see gp before easter but hoping they'll happily at least speak to me on the phone tomorrow. Eugh.