Today we are pregnant! Thread for those pregnant after miscarriage

[JBrd]

Come and join us for lots of support, handholding and posifrickentivity! (Not sure I spelt that right...)

Hi everyone, can I tentatively dip a toe in here? I'm 7 ish weeks with DC3, and in a bit of a state. I'm very lucky that my last pregnancy was successful, and my lovely DS2 is now a happy and healthy 3 year old, but in between the DCs I had quite few miscarriages and it was really a dark time. Being pregnant again is bringing back all of the anxiety and I'm starting to wish that we'd quit while we were ahead. We had the whole raft of testing for recurrent miscarriage and nothing was ever found, so I'm trying to take some comfort from that, but I'm still analysing everything, and on constant knicker watch (including during the night, I'm getting really broken sleep). I had hyperemesis with DC2, and am not really all that sick this time - the nausea comes and goes, and it's not as if I feel amazing, but it's nothing like last time so that's also worrying me (although it's probably quite similar to my pregnancy with DC1).

I'd love a bit of hand holding and will try to offer some in return.

Welcome penguin13, brilliant name ! Best of luck with your pregnancy, it is understandable that you are worried after what you have been through. But two good scans is great news, the stats are definitely on your side.

Hi to tearex and somesunnysunday too, wishing you boring and uneventful pregnancies. Lots of hand holding available here

cuppa that receptionist is just shocking. I hope by your reaction that she realised how totally insensitive and inappropriate her comment was. Definitely tell your GP, she deserves a bollocking.

squiz hiccups feel like little regular vibrations at first but by the time you get to 37 weeks like me they are enough to wake you up at night. Pingu gets them at least 3 times a day at the moment, it is quite tiring!

I have my consultant appointment this afternoon to check up on small bump size. I'm a bit nervous in case something is wrong and it suddenly turns into emergency induction or similar... Hopefully it is just a precaution and all will be fine, keep your fingers crossed for me.

cuppa can't believe how insensitive that receptionist was! I've heard some receptionist horror stories but that one really takes the cake. Report, report, report!

Welcome to the newbies, wishing you boring, straightforward pregnancies!

I'm struggling a bit with the doom today. I slept through from 1am until 6am last night, where previously I've been waking every two hours. My last MC started the day after I slept soundly through the night. That morning I felt wonderful for the unbroken sleep, totally oblivious of what was to come. This morning I just have an overwhelming sense of dread that this is it. Trying to keep my mind off it by staying busy, but not having much success so far. My one consolation is that I feel more sick today than I have before, but my nausea continued for several days after last MC, so even that isn't helping much.

Today I am pregnant. Today I am pregnant. Today I am pregnant...

Does it ever get any easier?

cuppachuplaz some receptionists are idiots. When I rang my Dr after my last miscarriage the receptionist said something along the lines of "....I have forgotten what it's called as I don't have to say it often.... Retained products of conception..". Idiot. Thanks. She could have just said she had forgotten, rather than "because I don't have to say it often..." .
I am sorry. They don't have any idea.

Thank you for such a lovely welcome everyone. H is doing much better and will hopefully be discharged today. He's been referred to a specialist for some follow-up to check that there isn't anything more sinister than his heart struggling a bit thanks to the original defect. He hasn't had a check-up on his heart for 16 years so it's probably overdue!

Good luck with your consultant appointment Penguinita I really hope it eases your concerns (and may I say, what a lovely name you have )

Welcome Sunny. Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope you find this a useful place to share your concerns and get some support through the difficult first few weeks.

Hi penguin13 Congrats! I'm less far on than you (7 weeks) but dropped my symptoms for a couple of days last week and it was terrifying. I got some good reassurance from the ladies here though, quite a number of people reported similar experiences throughout their first trimester. I think around 9 weeks hormones for some people begin to settle down.

London I'm taking your advice and keeping busy - got a list of things I want to get done in the next few weeks (I should point out it isnt anything too daunting as it includes 12 novels I've been meaning to read!!!!) but it is defintely helping move the time along a bit - distraction is a good thing.

cuppa - report!!!! Shocking!! clearly overdue some sensitivity training. I can't believe how ignorant some people can be.

I've generally been feeling positive over the last couple of days but last night had a vivid nightmare about waking up covered in blood and it all being over. It was awful and i still feel a bit shakey today. I am taking comfort in the fact that during the same dream DH told me he was gay and leaving me (not to be overconfident but fairly unlikely )

Right....book number two coming up....

also welcome to somesunnysunday!

Thanks everyone.
Been to the docs, who was reluctant to send me to EPU given that I had had no bleed. However when I pointed out that I had had 15 MCs to date, 5 of which were MMCs, and that the most recent was picked up when an 8 w scan showed no heartbeat following abdominal pain and I had had to wait 8 further weeks for any bleeding to start...
I have an appointment at EPU tomorrow morning, keeping everything crossed.
DH furious with receptionist's lack of empathy.

fedup abnormalities not normally obvious until 19-20 weeks, which is why they like to leave this scan until then. If a private one will give you peace of mind, go for it. However, I would worry that if your concern is abnormalities, it may do little to allay any fears. Hoping you get the answers you want soon.

Thinking of all of you out there playing that waiting game x

Hi all. Just a quick question...is 22 weeks to soon to be getting Braxton hicks?? My bump has been going hard sporadically recently, but not hurting xx

Thanks for the welcomes.

MrsGiraffe I had Braxton Hicks from ridiculously early (about 16 weeks) with DC2. The midwife did say it was early / unusual, but all was fine. I had them regularly until he was born at 38+ weeks.

Hi MrsGiraffe, I haven't written on this thread for ages, however I have been having Braxton hicks from 16 weeks and the MW was/is fine about it. I'm 33 weeks now and still going with the BH!

Welcome to penguin13 and sunny

penguinita hope you get on ok this afternoon.

cuppa I'm so sorry you were spoken to like that. I hope everything is ok with your scan tomorrow.

mrsG I've been having BH for ages, particularly if I'm overdoing it or haven't drunk enough. Take it as a sign to put your feet up for 10 mins and have a cuppa.

MrsG I rang about bump pain 2 weeks ago and the phone MW explained round ligament pain and BH, she said both can start from as soon as you get a bump!

mrsg same here, I started with them about 2 weeks ago at 21 weeks, mainly when busy or overdoing it, they don't really hurt tho at the min

Thanks all, that's very reassuring :-) x

Just wanted to thank Squiz for the advice on contacting PALS. After three weeks of trying to get through someone from St Mary's called me back this morning…and guess what? After all the phone calls, letters, emails and faxes she didn't know I was even pregnant!
Feeling like total crap today which everyone keeps saying is a good thing and I'm hoping that is the case. Like many women on here though I can't take too much comfort because I felt very sick with my missed miscarriage too. Found out the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks at the 12 week scan and had no idea at all anything was wrong. I remember bursting into tears as the woman stayed silent and I could see there was no heartbeat and the baby was way too small. She didn't know what to do and just walked out. It amazes me how many staff are so ill prepared when they must deal with miscarriages all the time. With my first which was almost 22 weeks the young midwife came in and I said I'm about to lose him and she turned around and bolted! I was in agony for ages before a more experienced midwife came in and guided me through. Wish we could all just bolt of the hard bits of life but we don't have that option. Wishing everyone lots of success.

Where are you based TeaRex? I've had a few private scans with baby bond in the past and the people at the Maidstone one have been great. The equipment is so much better than my local hospital and really clear pictures. They do 3d scanning and dvds later on too. Hope to get that far. They have branches all over. It's also not hugely expensive and that's coming from an impoverished sole trader.

Hello all!

I've been so hopeless at keeping up with this thread regularly, although I've been lurking a lot and checking in to see how everyone is doing. So nice to see so many new faces - the december/january babies are going to come thick and fast! I think me and corpore are the only november due dates.

Welcome penguin13 tearex and somesunnysunday. Congratulations - you are pregnant!

Ihavetowait - I'm think it gets a teenier bit easier - I'm at 14 weeks now and I definitely feel less fraught than I did in those early weeks (especially weeks 5 to 8, before I had my reassurance scan). But my 12 week scan is a whole two weeks ago now and I definitely have doom days. The positivity from that scan lasted a whole whopping 48 hours! Distractions are amazing. I find nights out - having friends over - getting out and about on my feet and doing exercise to wonders for helping time go and stopping me obsessing.

But I was like you - and so many others in those early stages - and symptom spotted like mad. I also had a loss of symptoms before my 2nd MC (a MMC) so every time I stopped feeling sick, tired, or had a good night's sleep I'd start to panic. Sadly the feelings are normal for us post-MCers, but the statistics are all in our favour. So cling to that fact if you can.

Having said that... Please please fish slap me. I have become obsessed with the size of my bump as an indicator of whether pregnancy is going well or not (given that all my 1st trimester symptoms have now gone). I actually deliberately relax my stomach muscles so that it looks bigger, to make myself feel better . So this morning I thought I'd experiment by sucking my tummy in as much as I could standing in front of the mirror - and my stomach went totally flat! So I was all 'there's no way there's a 14 week baby in there!'. Am I mad? Is it normal to be able to get a flat stomach by sucking in at this stage in pregnancy? Why am I doing this to myself?? Slap me.

cuppa I am gobsmacked by the receptionist. But so glad you have the EPU appointment tomorrow. Good luck to you - hope all goes smoothly. I'm sure your bean was not affected by the fall. Possibly your muscles and ligaments were jolted and bruised a bit - and that probably explains the pains.

amuminwaiting - hello. How far along are you?

Waves at everyone else.

Mabel at 14 weeks mine WAS completely flat all the time! :) Now I have a bump. Got the silliest bump comment today "your bump is very small ... (pause)... how many months are you?" Erm, the question would come first duh. It would be huge for 10 weeks, tiny for 30.

squiz thanks for the reassurance. And what a hilariously backward remark! You should have said 'I'm just 6 weeks along' just to see his/her face.
Will this be your first DC?
This will be DC number 3 for me (fingers crossed) so my abdominal muscles are not what they were - hence the rather pronounced bump when I let it all hang out.

Okay - this is good news - so 14 week old foetuses CAN exist inside flat tummies... That will be my mantra this week.

Good luck with the scan tomorrow cuppa.

My consultant appointment turned out to be a bit of a waste of time. After an hour and a half in the waiting room I finally got called in, but all she did was repeat the same bump measurements the midwife did last week and say "yes, you're measuring small, we will need to book you in for a growth scan on another day." They could have booked that scan a week ago! So now I have to wait until Friday, and if labour starts in the meantime then no home birth for me . Feeling slightly about how slow the nhs is.

I'm not 100% sure MabelMay. My last period was 6th March but I can have very long cycles so when I went for a scan and they thought I'd be 7 weeks there was no pregnancy sac and they thought I was ectopic and put the fear of God in me for two days until my hcg results indicated otherwise. Probably 6 weeks by now. My stomach is VERY big and I look far more pregnant than I am. I guess it's from being pregnant 7 times now. I saw some friends for lunch the other day and my friend Chris turned to me when we were at his house watching tv and said "My God, your boobs are huge!" so the hormones seem to be going nuts! I've also got a hideous cold sore I can't shift. I feel and look hideous but I'm fine with that if I get my baby at the end of it. Two days after my positive test I woke up with horrendous uterine contractions, I was pouring with sweat and had to sit in tepid bathwater until it was over. It really was painful and I was certain my body was rejecting the baby but the hcg increased and I've felt so sick the past two days that I'm hopeful all is well in there. I'm on clexane shots and aspirin. The injections are much easier to do this time around. Now just want to see that heartbeat on Friday.

Hi all,
Pains settling now, and no more discharge :). Huge bruise appeared, but no where near the pains which are very much pelvic, so all crossed for tomorrow.

mabel, with ds1 I had no bump at all until past 30 weeks, and then it remained tiny - I never got into maternity clothes, and handed them to a gf with labels still on! so I guess it varies. Incidentally penguin, I had numerous growth scans every time someone measured my non existent bump! which all said ds was large! Hope all goes well with your scan.
I also had BH from about 22 weeks mrsgiraffe, despite having no bump. Having bled through the pregnancy and lost the other twin at 13 weeks, this sent me into utter panic, but midwife said all was normal.

amum hoping this pregnancy goes well for you! reassuring to gear someone else also big at this stage - I have had 3 friends ask, and have milk already. Think I'm about the same stage as you, but v irregular cycle so could be more. Hoping to find out tomorrow...

Best wishes and sticky vibes to all x

I think I've been having Braxton hicks too - and am almost 18 weeks. It's unusual this early but not unheard of.

So... I decided to go for scan. Thanks for your thoughts on this. Was having an emotional day and felt I could do with seeing the baby was ok. And we can afford to part with £60 at the mo. Was really nervous.
Turns out as I'm slim she could do all the anatomy checks of anomaly scan - well most - and all is looking good and the baby was doing major acrobatics! lady was so nice as well she even said I could come back for free if needed further reassurance and didn't think I was a total nut job.

I'm hoping this will help ease my fears with something being wrong now... Been plagued with bad dreams and bad news stories but all seems to be looking good. Phew.

I've been a bit self obsessed today so will catch up on all the news once ds is on bed. Hope everyone is well xx

yay fedup hope that tides you over to 20 weeks

penguin that is so frustrating! Surely the reason you had the scan last week was the small bump measurement, why didn't they take the extra 2 mins to do the measurements then? Every scan I've had they've checked presentation, the standard measurements (crown- rump early on, then HC AC FL) and placental blood flow. Hope it doesn't interfere with your plans.