Today we are pregnant! Thread for those pregnant after miscarriage

[JBrd]

Come and join us for lots of support, handholding and posifrickentivity! (Not sure I spelt that right...)

Sorry to hear your news otters I'm sure we will see you back here soon! Look after yourself!

Oh no otters - I second everything fedup wrote. I'm so sorry, how rubbish for you. I hope it's not long until your next sticky bfp. Xx

Gaia.
Horns of a dilemma.
I have just been given a letter which has sat at a neighbours all weekend, for my long awaited (13 month this time) gynae appt for repeated mcs. This us scheduled for the end of the month.
If I cancel it, I will go the bottom of the list again.
If I book my dating scan and midwife appt I have to quote my nhs number, and they will no doubt cancel it for me.
I I wait until then, I will no doubt have to wait even longer for that reassuring dating scan.
If I mc again the meantime having cancelled it, really don't want to have to wait another year...
Advice please, peeps?
Thanks in advance x

cuppa I don't think the NHS is that joined up!! Unless dating scan And gynae appt are in the sane place I don't think they will look at what else is on your record and cancel it. Moreover they will have your history but not sure they will have what you are booked in for (if tht makes sense) so I would try and book both.

Or do the gynae appt and pay for a private scan. They are about £60. Worth it if means you don't lose either!

((otters))

cuppa I agree with fedup that the NHS is generally not joined up like that, so I'd keep the appointment and booking your others too.

Thanks to everyone for advice and sympathy on the bumpage worry. I feel a bit bigger today and think I felt some squirmy movement (or gas in a new place), so hopefully I'm getting closer to positivity. I really need to get the 20 week scan out of the way - it's holding me back through fear that it will all end there. It could, but statistically it's unlikely so I should try and be optimistic!

Squiz If you look at fundal height charts in google images, it is only supposed to be up to your belly button at approx 20 week so if you think you're just over that at 21 weeks then that sounds exactly right. I can't even feel my uterus most of the time!

Does anyone else still knicker check? I do it pretty much every loo visit!

Sympathies to those in the early stages worrying about scans or bleeds or so on. I was very anxious early on, in fact so much so I was too scared to have a scan after my six week one, in case it showed something wrong. Reassurance from a private scan would've really helped but I just clung on until 12 weeks. I'm a bit odd.

It gets easier, but the panic never quite goes away.

Thanks fed up
Might be worth a try.
My assumption was based on a bad experience; they did cancel my 12 midwife appt 2 mcs ago because I had been to EPU for a bleed. whilst fine at EPU, had to rebook 12 wk booking in scan as they had given appt to someone else. Mc'd 10 later, before being seen...
However I have also had letters asking why I've not shown up for follow ups in the past when I have mc'd in the meantime...
Thanks again :)

cuppa phone the gynae people and explain you are pregnant. If you qualify as an RMC patient you ought to get extra support/ scans in this pregnancy. I was seen weekly over my risk period this time even though I'd previously had all the NHS tests and they couldn't find my problem, they offered additional monitoring and at the same time I saw ProfQ who sorted me out in half an hour
They probably won't run tests if you are pregnant, but it is well worth staying in their system.

I'm on pregnancy number 7 and hoping with everything I have left that this one sticks! My last period was 6th March but when I went for the scan two weeks ago they couldn't find anything there. The blood test put me at much earlier than thought. Waiting until Friday for another scan. Every day is nerve wracking. For a few days the hospital thought it may be ectopic and petrified me with "you know this can be REALLY dangerous, come straight to A&E if you get pain". I've also been going to St Marys since last October and was told to inform them immediately when I got a positive result but haven't been able to get through to anyone in three weeks! I've had tons of brand new horrible symptoms this time around (lucky me) including (don't be eating and reading this) the grossest cold sore ever and I've only had about three in my entire life, psoriasis flare up and for the past two days have only passed pink mucus rather than a stool. I have IBS and piles (from first pregnancy) so my Aunt thinks it's due to that but it will be ANOTHER trip to my our gp if it doesn't go today. Every tiny twinge I think "right, that's it! It's all over, I'll never be a Mum". It's so incredibly stressful and no one in my circle of friends gets it because they all just plop babies out like it's the easiest thing in the world. In fact on my birthday this year my oldest friend (the last one to have a baby other than me of course) floored me with a comment. My aunt said "good luck with the birth" as she was leaving and she said "well it's what we're made to do isn't it?!". My aunt by the way is a retired midwife and also lost her much longed for baby and told she and my uncle were incompatible. I've never wanted to punch someone more in my life. I think the sight of some crazed 5ft loon punching a heavily pregnant woman may have caused a scene!
I work from home and the days I'm alone feel really scary. Every miscarriage plays on my mind and is torturing me with what could happen. My Mum thinks all the symptoms are a great sign and if I hadn't had tons when I went for a 12 week scan to find one of the babies had died at 8 weeks I'd feel more reassured. Just for added torture I live in the middle cottage of three and the woman either side are pregnant and have little children. I hear the kids every morning and one side is ring to be induced because she's so fed up of being pregnant. I can only dream of ever getting to the due date.

Cuppa just do them at different hospitals/clinics. It will be fine. They never tend to look beyond 'their' bookings, I've even had clashes of time/date between my RMC clinic and ante-natal at the SAME hospital! In theory the computer should 'say no'.

Otters Sorry to hear your sad news. :(

Hamster yep, I still knicker check and wear a pad. Honestly. Can't even wean myself down to pant liners. Total mental.

AMum St Marys have a new computer system in (to replace the crap one mentioned above) and it keeps breaking, affecting the phone system! Google their PALS, if you explain in an email they can offer a call-back from the relevant team. :)

Thanks squizita that's amazingly helpful. It's been driving me nuts. Especially as I need a suture booked in. Would have made sense for them to put that on their answer messages for now.

Just went to the loo and found a fair bit of ewcm - normal or am l losing my mucus plug? Am 17.4 weeks and is today's worry :(

hamster I'm 20 weeks and I still knicker check. Yesterday night I think I felt a kick so hopefully everything will be ok in tomorrow's scan. I have grown so big it's ridiculous. The tights I got was hurting my bump even when I wear them under bump. I had to go out to h&m this morning after meeting to get some maternity tights. They cost £7.99 a pair! I looked at m&s for hold ups but they are only 10 and 15 denier. My job is pretty casual so if I don't need to keep my legs warm I don't need the tights.

amum your poor thing. Do you mean you have had 6 MCs? Have you been referred for recurrent miscarriages? I know other people can be really insensitive about MCs. So many thinks babies just can be made whenever you want it . My mum is like that too. She still didn't understand what took me so long. I already think I'm lucky because DH and I didn't need fertility treatments to then end up as an MC. It does take us aged to get a bfp but I keep remind myself at least it is free. I feel even more sad for those who are struggling on both fronts. I'm really hormonal though atm!

fedup it's generally much thicker and wetter down there when pregnant isn't it? Don't panic!

Yeah I am used to getting lots of milky and watery cm but not ewcm. It's that which has got me worried

Yes I've had six miscarriages. I know I'm lucky to be able to get pregnant so fast (apart from with my first) but honestly the result is the same isn't it? Not being able to get pregnant and being able to but not hold on to a pregnancy means no baby at the end of the day but I am grateful to not have to pay for IVF or go through all that only to have my dreams dashed. I joined a private health scheme under the impression they could help me but once I'd joined they said they only dealt with IVF and everything else is just a flat no. It's like they think there's only one way to not have a baby!
Fed up, if your worried then get your midwife or gp to take a quick swab. I lost my plug at 21 weeks when I was in the shower and knew what it was without having had it happen before because it was like a really big blob of snot just hanging down! Sorry if too graphic but there it is. It's a lot thicker than CM and sometimes has a pink tinge. My GP said she thought it was thrush which of course it wasn't. I'd always say if you're worried then you hammer that worry home to them!

and yes I'm under St Marys recurrent miscarriage clinic but haven't had much luck with them so far. My local EPAU has been very supportive so worse case scenario I'll ditch St Marys if they don't get back to me and book the suture with them. Anyone with positive stories of early suture? I had an emergency one last time but it only held for a week.

amum hope this is lucky seven for you. FX for good news on Friday.

fedup agree with amum that the mucous plug is really thick and snotty, but if you are worried phone MW and ask them to check you out. I'm sure they could check your cervix to make sure it is closed to reassure you.

Amum sorry to hear how hard it's been. At the time of my mmc we lived next to a lovely family but you could hear everything and the little girls yelling 'muuuuuum!' in the morning used to make me so sad. I really hope this one sticks for you.

Baking I think it was you who mentioned yoga pants as being super comfy a while back? If I've remembered right then thank you! Some just arrived and they are SO good. Bump band on jeans is currently right on uterus and gets uncomfy but not sure if this will pass as bump expands or if need overbump etc etc For now I am saved by stretchy trews!

Fedup your post made me smile as I was reading in my book yesterday about how you will likely get more discharge around now and I was thinking oo I'm not, why am I not, does it mean something that I'm not?! It says it's usually clear, stringy or full of mucus and only to worry if it is coloured or smelly or itchy. So I think you're okay. It's me that's odd!

Hopeful I am now managing to sometimes, rarely, but sometimes, go to the loo in the night without the light on. This means I can't see what's there on wiping! Brave! But in the day I can just see and habit is to check.

I think I might be getting kicks or rather, the bubbles now feel more like prods?? But I am really not sure! I had two of these sensations this morning and 3 yesterday. Hmmmm.

amum it took us just over 18mo of ttc to get this latest pregnancy. I had one mc and one mmc during the period. I know the end result of still not having a baby is the same. But it is just little things like this that I'm telling myself to keep me sane. I'm sad you aren't getting much help from st Mary's at all.

jen definitely there is a time to transition from under to over bump for me. This pregnancy clothing adds up quite quickly isn't it? I need to order a couple of yoga pants as my normal joggers are getting so tight under bump. I'm wearing DH t-shirts so that's a bit of money saved.

I've had a plug before when fave birth to son and it was big and gloopy / yellowy. Similar but much more than what I've just had.
This is just like ewcm - stringy / slippery and clear. slightly yellowy. Glad it was in your book!
Phoned mw but no answer so will call later. Not helped by fact I'm feeling a bit crampy and have low back pain. I hope it's just a worry for nothing.

I don't remember the mucus plug from DD

Welcome amum. Sounds like you've had an awful time so far, hopefully this is the time it will work out for you.

fedup I was worried about similar a couple of weeks ago. Had some discharge I was sure about. The midwife didn't think it was anything concerning, and after a couple of days it stopped. So I don't know what it was but things are still ok.

I have thoroughly depressed myself today by looking up childcare costs. It looks like going back to work is going to be unaffordable. I never planned on being SAHM, but it might be my only option. I don't think I could bear not having financial independence. I've worked and been relatively debt free since I was 21 so would be a massive change. Argh!

Hello everyone :) braving posting here as I don't 'feel' pregnant yet but I'm about 5 weeks along. I've got a dd and had a mmc in jan 14 at my 12 week scan (baby had died at 9 weeks) honestly the worst moment of my life.
Very mixed emotions so far, excited obviously but full of dread, I hope I get morning sickness soon as I need some sign that all's well. I had awful morning sickness to 20 weeks with my dd but only had it for a couple of weeks with the baby I lost so of course I now see it as an indicator of a successful pregnancy for me cause that really makes sense. Never thought I'd be craving morning sickness :)
I've seen there are ladies here that have been through so much more than me and I'm so sorry for your losses.
But reading about all of you who are 20+ 30+ weeks is really giving me hope so thank you :)

Not sure when to call the midwife? I'm dreading all questions/blood tests etc though I realise it's necessary. And does everyone who's experienced mc get offered an early scan? If not I think I'll have to look into booking one privately, not sure I can handle the wait :(

Thanks for reading and hope I'll be here for the long haul :)

Welcome tearex and congratulations of the BFP :-) I bet your so excited!!

I had a mmc last year but in this pregnancy they wouldn't refer me for an early scan, gp said world along the lines of "just because a scan shows all is well at 6/7/8/9 weeks ect doesn't mean all will be at 12 weeks" so basically said there was no point. Hopefully you will get better results than me from the gp though xx

Welcome tearex and congratulations. Officially you don't get any additional care after one MC, you'll only be scanned early if there is bleeding/cramping/concern re ectopic etc. Unofficially it depends how sympathetic your GP or MW is - posters have had very mixed experiences. Private reassurance scans are widely available if you can't wait until 12 weeks, I think after a MMC knowing that all is progressing normally is well worth the money.
Mrs G your GP obv never had a MC! There are no guarantees at any stage but the further you get with all developing normally the more likely you are to take a baby home. Even if all is good at 12 weeks there's a 1% chance of a late loss, at 8 weeks it's 3%. I think most people would be pretty happy with a 97% chance of success.
It took me 4MC to get regular early scans on the NHS but it does seem to vary massively, worth asking, the worst that can happen is they say no.