Today we are pregnant! Thread for those pregnant after miscarriage

[JBrd]

Come and join us for lots of support, handholding and posifrickentivity! (Not sure I spelt that right...)

Thank you all so much for your warm welcome. You brought a huge smile to my face last night reading your replies.

I can't believe it's only a 2% failure possibility for me now after a heartbeat. I just find that physically impossible to compute and to integrate into my brain!

Every time I forget to drink enough water I have horrible visions of the embryo drying to a crisp, or when I cough I imagine that it's been jarred against the side of the uterus and has broken away from the yolk sac/placenta/whatever it is at this point. All ridiculous, but they seem so real.

Thank you again - I now need to get on and read the rest of the thread!

that's great news seasides!
I caved this morning and used the remaining digital pg test, but my cunning plan worked because the number of weeks pregnant had increased, so I'm really chuffed!

question for you all, pre telling anyone, what excuses did you use as to why not drinking??

kitkat congrats on scan and seeing heartbeat! Great!

Seasides - wonderful! What a huge relief for you! I remember how worried you were last week and I'm so glad the scan provided the good news you wanted. Today you are definitely pregnant!

hedgehead glad you have been given some reassurance. Hope you manage to find some good distraction techniques over the next few weeks. Post with your irrational fears any time.

moomin glad your naughty re-testing at least gave you the reassurance you wanted. Re: not drinking. My excuse was always that I was driving. When we had people here I just didn't draw attention to it. I always had a glass of wine in my hand, with my food - but it was the same glass of wine the entire night. No-one noticed far as I can tell. Now, finally, I can end the deceit... (we're going pubic). What's your excuse?

Hello everyone else!

Hi all - giving a tentative wave.

3+5 here....tested positive 3 days ago so this is going to be a loooooooong pregnancy :(

Short-ish history. DS (2.8) from my first ever round of IVF. 3 FETs and 2 full IVFs later....PG again. Got PG in the summer and discovered a MMC at 9 weeks in August. I was having weekly paranoia scan so had seen a HB twice (6+4 and 8+4) so it was a real shock, and utterly devastating. Started IVF again the second I could and have been doing back-to-back cycles until now....

Petrified it is all going to go tits up....

Thanks so much everyone !

vallinna, what a hard road you've had, I so hope this one's the keeper, of course. The MMC must have been a terrible shock, and so unlucky after you'd seen the heartbeat so late .

moomin thus far I've used my antibiotics, driving and 'not drinking during the week' cards. Going to work my way through the deck pretty fast! Not sure I'd be able to carry off the all night wine glass, it's quite unusual for me not to drink so think I'd be rumbled ! With people who know we've been trying (almost everyone as I'm so indiscreet) I'll tell them it's the 2ww.

Great that your scan went well kitkat - that's a big milestone for you too. 8 weeks is like this mystical charm in my head.

Glad you're feeling a bit more reassured hedge - you can't shake it free, I promise! Though I've just been freaking myself out about herbal tea, as I drink so much and apparently you're supposed to limit yourself to 4 cups or different flavours, and ginger's not great - been chugging lemon and ginger to ward of nausea. Realistically I know unless I was on a raspberry leaf tea drip I'm not going to do any harm, but it's so hard to stave off the paranoia!

Hi hopeful I'm also worried about low PAPP-A as I had the same. Also good to know I'm not the only one terrified about the anomaly scan. My 16 wk appt is next week. And my anomaly scan is not til 30 may (21 weeks) which is an age away. I'm looking very pregnant now, and I need to really face up to the fact people at work will start asking me. Aggghhhh.

Yay for good scan news mabel and seasides and corp and squiz

Seasides after your panic last wk it's good to know it's just because it was all a bit early. Bet you are on cloud 9 right now

Welcome newbies, hopefully we can help hand hold through that first trimester. I can't say I'm any less paranoid / scared now but at least I can empathise with your feelings and experiences, just not able to act on any of the advice myself!!!

Welcome vanilla as others said the chances of an MC after seeing a heartbeat is very low. You have just been unlucky and hopefully you won't be unlucky again.

hopefulmy 20 week scan is on May 7 and I can't stop worrying about it. I plucked up the courage at 16 weeks to tell my boss and HR because I don't want them to notice a bump before I tell them. I haven't told anyone else at work and I don't want them to notice in case I have to untell after the scan. I know it's silly. I'm 19 week and I am really showing if I wear anything not baggy. I'm wearing those tent like maternity dresses to work so I look fat. Went to try on more maternity stuff at lunch today but so many of clothes on offer is quite figure hugging and I don't feel comfortable showing off my bump yet . Obviously I haven't done any FB announcement either.

I hope non of you are as silly as me post 12 week scan!

Oh my post sounded so negative! But to those still in early days. I did feel much better after the 12 week scan. I really feel it is taking it one step at a time and reminding myself I'm still pregnant.

I'm exactly the same toddler - scared of telling work in case I need to untell. Only my boss knows at the mo. But we have company away days in May before my scan so everyone will see me and my bump plus notice that I'm not drinking like a fish which is what normally happens at these events. Dreading it all.
I too felt reassured after 12 week scan but was so nervous about screening results and now that's continued into anomaly scan dread. Wish I could relax and enjoy being pregnant and out of the worst danger zone.

Toddler I didn't relax with DS until I felt him move consistently...which must have been about 24+ weeks....and then I would make myself late as I would lie in bed every morning until he had wriggled!

Everyone at work knew about my PG that time, in the summer and this time as I didn't want to look like a flake with all the IVF. Everyone is different but it actually made telling people about the MC easier as I didn't have to explain I was PG IYSWIM?

I have horrendous heartburn. Had this with my other PGs but only up to lunch time...this is already persistent (but since my boobs stopped aching it is ridiculously reassuring....)

Forgot to say Fedup - let them speculate....they probably are already...everyone loves a gossip. Some absolute twat of a bloke at work asked a colleague a couple of months ago when I was going on mat leave...I wasn't PG....didn't do my pre-holiday bikini confidence any good

hopeful and fedup I doubt that the midwives will have anything helpful to say/do regarding low Papp-A, you will be better off talking to the hospital team about this. And usually, all they can do is offer you more regular scans to monitor growth, as this is the main problem associated with low Papp-A (don't google it too much, would be my advice). So I'd ask at your 20-week scan appointment, if they don't bring it up.

Moomin About drinking - the driving excuse always works, antibiotics can make some clued-up people suspicious . I have also done what someone else has recommended - accept a drink and then take teeny sips or pretend sips through the evening. No one has ever noticed anything. Or you can swap glasses with your DH/DP, if he is drinking the same (when no one is looking).
Or you get things like a gin & tonic without the gin, or a Bloody Mary without the vodka etc - no one will know!

Welcome vallinna - and congrats. Take one day at a time, today you are pregnant!

I've not told work either, apart from my line manager. Nor anyone else in RL apart from close family and some selected friends who know all about my mcs. I am dying to start wearing mat clothes, but I don't dare

My 16-week apt with the midwife went OK - apart from that she couldn't find the heartbeat - in spite of nearly pushing the flippin' Doppler thingy through my stomach, I was really sore afterwards. She assured me that she could hear baby moving around and offered to come and do another listen today - but I reckon, since I will be getting the amnio on Monday, they will be scanning my anyway again, so I might as well wait for that.

Yeah I know. I phoned the screening MW when I got my results and she just said could mean low birth weight and would check all that stuff at 20 wk scan. Not massively reassuring to be honest but she did say don't google. Of course I have and trying to ignore / forget what I read.
Slept very badly last night as having real anxiety. Decided got to stop this as not doing me or baby any favours. Just feel sick about having to wait for another 5 weeks to find out of my fears are just or not. Ugh.

I don't think it's uncommon to not find HB at 16 weeks. And good she could hear movement etc. hope tummy gets less sore. Hope you are feeling ok about amino. Will be thinking of you jbrd

van i would also offer to buy drinks then you can buy tonic / lemonade and pretend its alcoholic! Or have one and swap with DH. I did that once at a dinner party and DH was smashed!!! It ends up being quite funny.

vallinna Hi! Waves!

Fedup :( at the anxiety. I am getting massive OCD flare ups regarding the admin at St Marys 'forgetting' me.
DH confirmed it looks like they've messed up Wah! one of those times its not just me. Emailed the manager just asking for an email/call back.

Jbird If it's a wriggler it's OK. :) Dopplers are unreliable, that's why I won't use a home one.

Hi vallinna I had similar experience where we had a heartbeat at seven weeks and then ten days later had miscarried. when we were trying to ttc for the third time with no luck (I'd stopped ovulating it turned out)I was getting a wee bit angry with the stats as so many people had told me chances of it happening for a second time were so low etc etc and then of course it had happened again. I was pretty frustrated......but then I suppose now the stats are even more in our favour....it is really hard, isn't it? Personally I feel if I can get to 9 weeks I will relax a smig (well, that's what I am telling myself), as that will be further along than I have ever been before, which, if nothing else, is progress.

and with that positive mindset, I take myself off to a wedding where I will be employing all of your cunning strategies!

Hi everyone

Really glad to see the good scan news from squiz corpore and mabel.
jbrd you have the patience of a saint with all the tests, good luck for Monday.

This week I saw the MW on tuesday. BP and urine fine and she took blood.
She spent ages prodding my tummy to find the baby. Last check up the Dr said it's transverse, and the MW thinks so too, and that it might be curled up or tucked itself into a corner. She said I would measure small if so, and I did. She didn't seem worried by it. Found the heartbeat straight away and seemed nice and strong.

Today I had the glucose tolerance test (another milestone, 28 weeks). Had to fast from midnight, then drink Lucozade (disgusting) and have blood taken. Annoying, but not too bad. I had to drive to the hospital and back and was more worried about that as I'm a new driver and don't really know the way. Couldn't get sat nav to work either! But I made it in one piece.

Baby has been quite wriggly today so far, maybe it liked the lucozade more than I did!

Thanks for all the wet fish slaps guys. They've helped. :) Having a pragmatic "well what ever will happen, will happen day today"!

Glad to see the good scan news from squiz, corpore and mabel too, it gives hope. :)

Have decided to book an early viability scan for 6 - 7 weeks. That way I only need to wait 10 more days to see if they can find a heart beat. I know I'm going to be so stressy about this, as last time I got scanned at 7 weeks and was only showing 5 weeks on the scan. MC the next day. DH has the patience of a saint - he had me freaking out yesterday with the whole thing and the fact I won't see a consultant until at least week 10 and so he turned around and said "just pay for a bloody scan".

We'll see, today it seems, I am still upduffed.

Wishing you luck for Monday jbrd.

I am having a bit of pregnancy irrationality (I hope). DP is out tonight and I've convinced myself he's out on the pull. I have NO basis for thinking this beyond that he seemed to spend longer than I'd have thought getting ready and wore nicer clothes.
I think it's more that I feel really boring at the moment, am still not completely well and fall asleep every night on the sofa. I've never worried about this sort of thing before so hopefully it's just hormones!

Nerdybird I did exactly the same thing with my DH last night. One minute past the time he said he'd be out until and I decide he would rather be there than home. Then my mind leaps to an affair, and on and on. I must admit I am being a total bitch at the moment - but I feel the same as you. Boring. Throughout the day: I wake up, I feel sick, I eat, I go back to sleep, lather, rinse, repeat four to five times a day. No wonder he needs to get out of the house.

So no it's not just you. It's your (and my) hormones.

Hi all, I know I haven't been around for a whole, I've been a lot bit of a moody cow recently.

I'm having a sweep today and for s

Some reason am so nervous about it. Nervous incase it works and nervous incase it doesn't I just want to meet my baby now but am so scared of something still going wrong. I don't think I'll relax until I am holding baby in my arms

Sorry that was a really me me me post, dd2 just woke up. I'll try and catch up with you all later, hugs to thoes who need it and welcome to the newbies today you are pregnant

Good luck for the sweep cbeebies hope it gets things started for you.

Good luck Cbeebies! Don't worry too much if things do or don't kick off - try yo focus on that one way or another, you will soon get to meet your baby!