Today we are pregnant! Thread for those pregnant after miscarriage

[JBrd]

Come and join us for lots of support, handholding and posifrickentivity! (Not sure I spelt that right...)

Hello. Finally marking place. I'm soooo behind but have scanned through to catch up on news.

Welcome to all newcomers and congrats on good scan results to those that have had them recently.

JBrd - it sounds like you're on quite a journey with the tests. Hang in there and I hope you get what you need.

Feeling lots better now but also huge - and I'm only a little over 16weeks. How big am I going to be at full term? Digging out those maternity clothes from last time....

Great news squiz and welcome to team pink!

Great news squiz! Very exciting! xxx

Great scan news ladies, congratulations! So happy for you! Let yourself have a day off from worrying now

Quick question: there was a massive queue for booking the next scan. A staff member took my phone number and said they'd make the booking for my 28 week and ring me back today. They didn't (busy, they were one of the clinical staff, I guess). Shall I ring tomorrow or wait? Just in case they forgot!

Wow - this thread moves on quickly to sheep snogging and eating cat poo!!!

Lots of great scan news - yay!!!

Yes london mat clothes survived the dryer.

So chickened out of telling work today. Mainly because I sat next to someone who told me his wife lost their baby at 20
Weeks and it got me all freaked out. I probably wrongly assumed that 'it was complicated' was because they found out something was wrong at anomaly scan and had a termination. I could be very wrong. But it set me off again on my worry about finding something wrong at my anomaly scan. I've even started to think perhaps I'm so worried about it for a reason. Perhaps that means there is something wrong. You get what I mean. You ladies don't seem to stress about this as much as me, or do you and just don't bang on about it as much as me.
I couldn't give two hoots about sex of the baby, just whether it's ok and I'm ridiculously worried about it. I've got another 5 weeks to go til anomaly scan at 21 weeks. How on earth am I going to stay sane???

Fedup It's just another phase of the fear, it doesn't mean any problems are more likely. I did the same- I kept googling stats of likelihood of various things before my scan. For some reason I became fixated that there was a 'reason' I was obsessing on things like Pataus and Edwards which was just I had read about them and heard of someone who had a child who died shortly after birth (they did not scan). It's 97-8% likely nothing will be wrong, and then with the 2% chance, over half are things like hair lip or club foot (i.e. not deadly at all). Try to remember that stat, it kept me sane-ish. :)

Ah thank you squiz
So pleased to hear it's not just me who believes that because I'm worried something is wrong then it must be. Sounds daft when you write it down but I really feel it!

Thank you the stats too. I just freak I will be that 2%. But good to know it is rare and I'm no more likely than the next person to be that 2%.

I think it's because I read / know too much. Also not helped that one of my recent projects was to do with children with disabilities. But it's more the life threatening ones that freak me out.

Wish I was still ignorant about all this and didn't even know Pataus and Edwards existed (I didn't with my son).

Thanks everyone. Jbrd too true, if it gets worse it's 'standard asthma treatment', which I took to mean inhalers tho I don't really know. Hope you get an early night.

Awwwww Squiiiiiizzzzz a girl! That's so lovely.

Wise words Penguin

Hugs Fedup. Squiz's stats are a very good point, your worry, whilst understandable, is out of proportion. I just don't think about it. Right now I feel like until they tell me something is wrong, it isn't wrong. To be honest feeling SO much better physically now the exhuastion and nausea has passed is allowing me to enjoy this time at long last. As I say though I can be very all or nothing when it comes to anxieties so the fear may yet get me. I don't like to think of you worrying though, I hope you can find a way to help you relax.

Friends we've told this eve have said nice things. Then DP showed me a teddy he wants to buy the baby. Am a big pile of mush now

Hi all - thanks everyone for your good wishes and congrats after scan news. It was so nice waking up this morning without that sense of uncertainty and worry. I know that this reassuring feeling won't last forever - and that in the lead up to my 20 week scan - as with many of you - the worry will set in again.

But it's the relief of being able to tell people isn't it? Suddenly it becoming 'official' makes it all feel real and makes it feel like something that really might happen!

squiz how wonderful! So pleased it all went well and congrats on the little girl inside you. What lovely news!

corpore congrats! I think it's natural to feel a sense of anti-climax after all the tension and fears before a scan - I think there's a feeling with all previous MC-ers too that we're never fully out of the woods - however positive we should feel, we find it hard to let our heads go to that positive place.

London I had mild asthma before this pregnancy (diagnosed after DC2 in my mid-30s) - it doesn't affect me much, but since getting PG this time it's been a lot worse - so I guess pregnancy can really affect your chest and lungs in that way. I just use my blue inhaler a little more and am careful about over-exerting myself. I can't go running or anything since being PG as I just get too breathless. But other than that it hasn't affected things too much. Hopefully, yours is situational and will go away once the baby is born.

wigwam I'm also huge and I'm only 12 weeks gone. I can't even bear to imagine the monster I'm going to be in 6 months time

Everyone else - hello and hope you're all well and babies blooming.
xx

Hi all - thanks everyone for your good wishes and congrats after scan news. It was so nice waking up this morning without that sense of uncertainty and worry. I know that this reassuring feeling won't last forever - and that in the lead up to my 20 week scan - as with many of you - the worry will set in again.

But it's the relief of being able to tell people isn't it? Suddenly it becoming 'official' makes it all feel real and makes it feel like something that really might happen!

squiz how wonderful! So pleased it all went well and congrats on the little girl inside you. What lovely news!

corpore congrats! I think it's natural to feel a sense of anti-climax after all the tension and fears before a scan - I think there's a feeling with all previous MC-ers too that we're never fully out of the woods - however positive we should feel, we find it hard to let our heads go to that positive place.

London I had mild asthma before this pregnancy (diagnosed after DC2 in my mid-30s) - it doesn't affect me much, but since getting PG this time it's been a lot worse - so I guess pregnancy can really affect your chest and lungs in that way. I just use my blue inhaler a little more and am careful about over-exerting myself. I can't go running or anything since being PG as I just get too breathless. But other than that it hasn't affected things too much. Hopefully, yours is situational and will go away once the baby is born.

wigwam I'm also huge and I'm only 12 weeks gone. I can't even bear to imagine the monster I'm going to be in 6 months time

Everyone else - hello and hope you're all well and babies blooming.
xx

apols for double post. mumsnet was being slow and i got impatient...

fedup you aren't the only one worried about the 20 week scan. I'm really worried they will find something wrong too. It is an anomaly scan after all. But I will try to remember that 97% is a really good chance it would be ok. I don't care about sex either. Just a healthy baby.

Hi All - just joined this thread. Thanks Squizita for pointing it out to me.

Have been in denial since finding out I was pregnant again after a horrible MMC in December. Been acting all "business as usual" and not altering my diet, exercise, been taking no vitamins. I'm currently 9 weeks and have been forced through sheer exhaustion today to acknowledge it and start altering my lifestyle a little.

The fear of miscarrying and not knowing is torturing me daily inside with worry to the point my whole life feels like it is falling apart. I feel like such an idiot because there are many people who have had multiple miscarriages who are holding it together and here I am getting upset about one.

Went for a scan last week at 8 weeks and found a heartbeat of 130bpm. That was reassuring for about 2 hours. Now I am worried again that in the past week it has gone or died or something. I had bad, bad nausea from 6 weeks but at 9 weeks it has stopped (albeit been replaced by unbelievable heartburn and acid indigestion.)

What are the stats for seeing the heartbeat at 7/8 weeks? What chance of miscarriage does it give you after that? I read in some places it's 95% ok and in others 80%.

Hi hedgehead - first of all, congratulations! You are pregnant!

Secondly, everything you are saying will ring true for all of us here on this thread. The first trimester - and especially those early weeks are hideous and terrifying. I'm 12 weeks now and I just feel like I've come out of 8 weeks of paralysing limbo and daily paranoia about losing the baby.

But the odds are SO in your favour now that you've seen a healthy heartbeat at 8 weeks. I had the same, and my ob-gyn told me that the chances of a miscarriage having seen a heartbeat at that stage of pregnancy are 2%, so do please keep that in mind - It's definitely NOT 20%!! I know though - we all imagine we're going to be in that 2% - but the chances are heavily, heavily skewed against this.

Regarding the nausea - mine stopped for about a week at 6 weeks - and again it stopped at 9 weeks, only to return around 10 weeks - and now it's gone again (at 12 weeks). So please don't let that worry you - although I know it's hard.

I found doing some low impact exercise every day really helped my state of mind in the early weeks. Getting out for a walk. Also coming on these threads has been a huge help. We are all here to hold your hand through these horrible weeks - but you're some way down the road already to that 2nd trimester milestone. The mantra here is 'Today we are Pregnant'.

Come here whenever you want to get something off your chest, or for reassurance, whatever. Welcome!

Welcome hedgehead lovely to see you over here. You are in good company, pretty much everyone on the thread is a loon in first trimester. I've had lots of MC, but my first one was the worst - that first one destroys your faith in everything being ok and you can't get that back.
MC stats from the point of missing your period is 15%, if you see a healthy HB and baby is measuring approx right for dates at 8 weeks it drops to 3% and after a positive 12 week scan to 1%.
Here to hand hold or administer fish slaps as needed to get you through. I think we need one of those cheery stickers " you don't have to be mad to post here...."

Hedgehead 20% is the risk for a woman up to about 37 at the point of conception! Including women who hardly realise as it's just a 'day late period'. 37-44, it rises to about 25-30% depending on health.
So at week 8, with a HB ... you're up in the 90%s!!

As Baking says, the first loss is a massive blow. Really shakes you. You don't know what to expect ever again.
It is very very rare to have several in a row - only happens to 1% of women. Also many of us seem very 'tough' and upbeat because we are now on medication after a lot of losses ... we weren't like that when it was happening or before we got our meds! Again, that's like 0.3% of women who need injections or operations to carry a baby so don't worry too much for yourself.

MOST women who sadly have a MC go on to have a normal pregnancy the next time. :)

Just jumping in on the discussion about worrying (sorry I haven't been posting much), I am also completely freaked out about the 20 week scan. Mine isn't until May 20th, which feels like an age away.

We are now telling people in our day-to-day life that I'm pregnant but I can't bear to do a FB announcement until we safely get past the anomaly scan.

I know even getting to that point doesn't necessarily mean you'll get a baby in your arms, but at this stage I'm worried about them picking up serious problems at the scan. And yes I've thought about the trisomies, spina bifida (esp. as my mum only revealed two weeks ago there is a family history), and all sorts of other things.

I've 'only' had one miscarriage, but I've also had years of infertility and failed IVF so I think my natural expectation is that I will lose the things I want - I'm sure many of us here can identify with that. We've all had loss of one sort of another, and it takes away the naive enjoyment that some pregnant women have.

Nevertheless, once we've got this far we do have a VERY good chance of taking home a baby at the end of it all.

We have to remind ourselves that 'today we are pregnant' and that statistically very few pregnancies end in miscarriage post-12 weeks.

I'm not the beacon for optimism, obviously, and I have more bad days than good days. Whenever I think about the anomaly scan I panic. But we can do this with the support of each other. One day at a time x

Hi everyone, just wanted to pop back in and add to the good scan news . Was utterly terrified this morning, but there was a beautiful little blob with a divine tiny heartbeat! So so happy and relieved, I might start allowing myself to feel pregnant now!

Congratulation on yours mabel and squiz - a little girl! Awww !

Sorry you're so scared hedge and hopeful - as you all say, the chances are overwhelmingly that everything will be fine. You're over the big hurdle hopeful, as are you really hedge, having seen a heartbeat at 8 weeks. In any other situation, you'd see these odds as pretty much a certainty, so please don't drive yourself mad.

p.s. sorry, got over-excited, should explain - they think I'm just a couple of days before 6 weeks, and last week's scan was just too early. Think I might go and buy a pg book now!

Thanks Mabel that's good to know, though sorry to hear it has got worse. I was hospitalised at 8 months with whooping cough (the immunisation was at 12 months then) and I do feel like my lungs are a weak point for me ever since.

Hi Hedgehog welcome! 9 weeks is not far along now to 12 week scan tho it will seem to drag and 2nd what everyone else has said about good stats having seen hb. I'm sorry you are torturing yourself. It is natural. I had an MMC in October and am now 16 weeks pregnant. The early weeks are hard. I can only recommend distracting yourself. Be hard on yourself if you can and say once it gets to 2pm I will stop worrying and go do something for at least an hour. Make other plans to have something to break the weeks up. And as others have said come here to release your fears and get them out. I had bad nausea and it eased from 9/10 weeks which was scary as my MMC was at 10 weeks. It is totally normal though as placenta takes over then. Plus indegestion is what I have now instead -I am a big bag of belch. I hope that helps. Today you are pregnant!

Seasides that is AWESOME news!! Congrats!

That is fantastic news seasides! One milestone passed, may many more follow. What a relief

Welcome hedge As the others have said, seeing a heartbeat at 8 weeks is very reassuring and increases your chances of a good outcome dramatically!
But the first 12 weeks are the hardest - on top of often feeling rubbish physically, there is the constant worry because you know what can go wrong. I often think how naïve I was in my first pregnancy, when all I was worried about was the screening at 12 weeks, and it didn't even occur to me that something could go wrong. And that's why I think the first mc hits you the hardest... Certainly was like that with me.
My advice would be to keep busy and take one day at a time.

Unfortunately, the worry never really goes away either, as all on here will probably confirm. I think you learn how to live with it and develop better coping mechanisms... My theory anyway.

I have my 16 week midwife appointment today. Somehow, this does not excite me very much , neither in a good nor bad way. It won't give me the reassurance that I want right now...

I had mine yesterday Jbrd - it wasn't much use. I did get to listen to the heartbeat, which was LOVELY! But I also tried talking to them about other issues (like low papp-a etc) and they didn't know enough to say anything but vague reassurances. So it was fine, but I think at this stage we expect more from an appointment than they can actually offer.

Brilliant news seasides first of many milestones passed!

Lovely news for you squiz!

I've not been on here for a while - things have been pretty busy.

I had my mw appointment this week and then my 8 week scan today (followed by a colposcopy -yuck).

Luckily both went well - I could clearly see the baby and heartbeat although it did measure a fews day earlier than I thought I was - but mw wasn't concerned.

Still trying to get my head around the fact that I'm having a baby - finding it all very scary and daunting!