Today we are pregnant! Thread for those pregnant after miscarriage

[JBrd]

Come and join us for lots of support, handholding and posifrickentivity! (Not sure I spelt that right...)

Hi quiettiger

So sorry for your previous losses. I can quite understand that you are scared rather than happy right now, so don't think you can't be. Happy will come, I'm sure.

There's lots of handholding here!

Congratulations OLTT lovely to see you over here!

tiger after 4MC can completely identify with the "oh shit" reaction to a BFP, so will whisper congratulations v quietly in your direction, and hope it all goes well for you this time.

I had a very strange conversation at church yesterday, someone came up to me and asked me how many MC I had had (she knew about one of them but not the others) then started pouring out all this stuff about her late losses over 30 years ago. It sounded like the way losses were handled then was pretty insensitive, obviously still a lot of hurt there decades later though she went on to have three children. I didn't know what to say really but it did make me think how isolated she must have felt in the days before the Internet, my RL support has been fairly non-existent.

On a happier note, can I give a big recommendation for Kate Evans' new book "Bump" which is about pregnancy and birth, and includes a very sensitively written chapter on miscarriage, loads of great cartoons and good advice. Anyone who wants to breastfeed should get a copy of her first book "The Food of Love" which is also excellent. Both with a slightly natural/hippy take on things but lots of good advice whatever your 'style'.

tea it is so great to hear about your positive home birth. It gives me more confidence. It made me smile that having your own jam was high on your list of advantages! . Getting some towels from charity shops is a fab idea, I'll be stealing that one.

Hi OLTT, I remember you from the TTC thread, it is lovely to see you here. Congratulations and good luck for the 20 week scan.

Welcome quiettiger too, sounds like you have had a really tough time of it in the past. Sending posifrickingtivity your way for this little bean.

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses quiettiger

HB are really common here and easy to arrange penguinita (NL). Though we decided against it (partly because we live in a semi and my ILs are on the other side of the wall!). But we were able to go to birth centre at hospital 5 minutes away and they sent us home 3 hours after DS was born so didn't have to stay overnight. The Dutch don't mess about!

How strange baking. I think mc still doesn't get talked about very openly, but I can't imagine what it must have been like 30 years ago with no one to talk to. With my 1st I felt like I had to hide what was going on.No one knew at the time. With the 2nd I was very open, though partly because I had to have more time off work, and I found that it helped me so much more (and by then I'd found MN).

Gosh MrsG your poor Mum. I hope your appointment goes well.

Hi One. Congratulations! Sorry your journey to this point has been so hard. Glad to hear it's starting to feel real now

Hello Tiger, so sorry for your losses. I felt many other things than joy on my bfp for this pregnancy (after mmc last year), which made me very sad. But as Nerdy says, happiness will come in time.

Wow Baking I'm kind of glad you could be there for her, even if a lot of years later.

Hi OLTT I remember you from ttc thread too - great to see you here!!

And quiet tiger I too had the scared feeling with my bfp and was bascially an emotional wreck for first trimester (but better now but still nervous). Hope the NHS / clinic are treating you well and you have lots of reassurance scans and checks coming your way.

mrsg wow what a rough ride for you mum. And aren't you a record breaker? For some reason I thought it was 26 weeks a baby could survive from. Even so, shows how tough you and your family are despite what gets thrown at you.

Totally knackered today and just got to send some final bits to my client and then am done. Phew. Very tired so have resorted to ds tea time in front of the tv - something I don't like doing but needs must today. Very relieved I booked a days annual leave for tomorrow. Some time to myself and have a proper catch up on all my admin and sorting. (Very behind and find it therapeutic!!)

londonjen and fedup I know, my poor mum. I don't really remember much of her losses as they generally happened between the ages of me being 4 and 14 (am 27 now) but remember her crying a lot growing up. She's so strong, and even did milk bank type after the still birth. An amazing woman really!! I've "only" had 1 miscarriage and that broke my heart so I've not idea what she's been through.

Consultants are being overly careful with me because of DS pregnancy and of course my mums obstetric history. All of this makes me appreciate my wonderful boy so much more, sometimes I get so overwhelmed with love for the little legend that I want to squeeze him so much :-)

quiettiger welcome to the board. I am so sorry to hear about your losses. Of course, it's perfectly normal to be frightened after all you have been through! But congratulations on the BFP. You will find everyone here so kind and welcoming. And very patient when you get the bat shit crazies which we are all prone to at times. And if you are crazy enough, you may even get the wet fish slap as well ;-) we've all been through a loss and understand how scary pregnancy is and sadly we can never enjoy it as much as someone who's not been there. Doesn't mean we're not excited if that makes sense x

Fedup well done you, I hope you are having a well earned feet up this eve!

I have agreed to buy pram! Dp told me not to haggle just pay whatever is asked as that way friend might 'be inclined to give us some other stuff she doesn't need for free'!!? Bless him, he'll be a bit peeved if she doesn't now even though she has no idea of his expectations!!

Quite a milestone even though yet to actually bring it to house.

Pram purchase is off! Friends hubby sold is elsewhere without mentioning it to my friend Got to laugh. I said not to worry as not like we need it tomorrow but feels a bit odd as was just about to take such a big step! Ah well..

Oh well london that's a shame! Did you sneakily as how much they sold it for?! It means you can spend a bit more time making sore you have the pram you really want

Thanks for the welcome everyone. :) It just helps to know we're not alone, IYSWIM?

Hopefully this little bean and BFP will be auspicious - I'm not Christian myself (but very respectful of Christian belief), and a church going friend of mine told me that it was all a bit significant that I had a BFP on Easter Monday, the day of rebirth, that also happened to be DH's birthday with a EDD of Christmas day! We'll see. Today I am still pregnant (and throwing up to prove it!).

Hello ladies - I've been absent for ages - but just done a quick scan.

sending a quite congratulations to tiger you have been through so much and I wish you the smoothest and uneventful next 9 months. I had a late loss too and then an early one and I found this thread so supportive and it definitely helped me through the toughest of times.

OLLT I remember you too - congrats!

So i'm on my last week of work - maternity leave starts on Friday - I can't wait!!! whoo hoo!!!! Can't believe this might actually happen!

Just a quick wave! :)

Trying not to freak out about anomaly scan tomorrow. :( I HATE scans, well I crave them then hate them the day before.
Even if an anomaly is found, I know many are treatable, but am still terrified. :(

Good luck tomorrow squiz lots of hand holding needed. I find that I am absolutely fine until a check up/scan approaches then I completely lose it. My last check up at 34 weeks was tense - I feel I need to prepare myself each time.

I'm sure all will be fine for you and your little one .. will you find out the sex of the baby?

Very much so Tiger

Fedup I have my suspicions that they must have sold it for more than they asked me for (else, if I was paying most, you'd get rid of the other person wouldn't you?!)

Nearly there Emki! Then a a nice rest (maybe?) till baby arrives

Good luck tomorrow Squiz. I am fascinated by thought of how different/bigger baby will look since last scan. But yes it's also daunting.

I need to come get off my chest how scared I am of going to the Dr tomorrow about this breathing thing. NOt because I think it is anything of concern really but I can't shake the worrying niggle. Last time I went to the Dr when pg, thinking they'd pat me on the head and tell me it was just normal little bit of bleeding, I got shipped off to a&e and 12 hours later I was under a blanket at home no longer pregnant I almost don't want to go and I cry when I think about it. Can feel such a big hard bump between my hips when I lie down so trying to tell myself how different this is. Must remember this is just a little appointment to check all is well and no need to suspect it's not. If am struggling at odd moments it will be because baby is getting all the oxygen it needs and I am getting the dregs! This is NOT the same as going to the Dr bleeding. They will probably say your organs are getting squished this early because you're a short arse! Then give me the okay to start antenatal pilates in May. That's all. And breathe!

London breathlessness is something many women get when pregnant. I know exactly what you mean though, I have CBT just to get to routine medical appointments.

We're going to find out gender, but at the moment I just want to ensure all the body parts are there!! :)

Good luck tomorrow squiz Try to focus on the fact that you are going to see your baby again! It's been a while since the last scan, hasn't it! It will have changed sooo much

Welcome to all the newbies I do recognise some names from the ttc threads. So glad that you are able to join us.

London Poor you, please try not to worry too much. All chances are that this is not even pregnancy-related. Or, as squiz says, if it is, it will be easily treatable. Could you be low in iron? This causes breathlessness. Plus, your body is producing a lot more fluids all over, which have to be stored somewhere, so air passages/lungs etc can get a bit squashed. Your baby is getting everything it needs, they are very good with that.

I have decided not to have the CVS tomorrow, I'm opting for amniocentesis instead. At this point, for me, the slightly lower mc risk outweighs the longer wait for the procedure and results. I have waited so much and so long by now, another 2 weeks does not make any difference.

Now trying to decide where to have it... My local hospital (very good reputation, big maternity unit, very good equipment etc.) can fit me in on Monday, the FMC in London only does the procedure on Wednesday (if the Prof is to do it). Much of a muchness date-wise, results take 3 days to come back for both.
Uhming and ahing of where to go - I have been getting excellent care at my hospital and feel very well looked after there, whereas my personal experience at the FMC has been a bit 'meh' overall - not in terms of the medical care, but more the emotional side of things.
But the Prof at the FMC is meant to be the best... On the other hand, amnio is a very standard procedure these days... Plus, I wouldn't have to go all the way to London and back... But do I not owe it to myself, DH and baby to get the best possible consultant?

Decisions, decisions... Doesn't help that I am completely snowed under at work at the moment, I have barely the time to get all my tasks done, let alone make life-changing decisions.

On my way to hospital for my anomaly scan followed by the consultant. Wish me luck :-)

Good luck Mrs G!

I've made it through to five weeks. My doc is on hols, back next week so I've got the first appointment I could next week. Had a confident weekend (finally getting some sore boobs) but some cramps today so am hiding at home.

Good luck mrsG and good luck squiz for tomorrow.

jbrd I think providing you have confidence in the local consultant and you know you are getting someone who has performed amnio hundreds of times I'd stay local. Results a few days sooner and less stress travelling. I'd only traipse to London if I didn't feel happy in the hands of the local doctors.

london hope you are reassured at your appointment tomorrow. A lot of pregnant women struggle with breathlessness. I did C25K last summer and was running 5k three times a week when I fell pregnant. At many points since I haven't been able to stroll a hundred yards without feeling breathless or dizzy.

Hi everyone

Sorry haven't been around for a while - busy long weekend - also camping with limited internet.

Welcome quiettiger - I'm so very sorry for your losses. Fingers crossed for you. We're all here to hold your hand.

LondonJen I know exactly why you feel so weird/anxious about your appointment - it's all those memories - but as you say your rational mind I'm sure knows everything will be okay. Breathlessness is a pregnancy symptom so in a weird way shoudl be reassuring! I am also feeling terrible and couldn't sleep as have my 12 week scan today.

JBrd good luck with your decision. Hard when you are so busy elsewhere in your life.

MrsG good luck!!

Squiz can totally relate. I have my 12 week scan today and feel so so anxious... Good luck to you am sure everything will be fine.

Oh god I'm really anxious. 12 week scan today (we're 8 hours behind - i'm in california) I haven't been able to sleep. Doesn't help that nausea went away a few days ago - so i went from rfeeling really pregnant to just not being sure. I know I saw healthy baby and heartbeat at 8 weeks but that's not helping now. I know I'm getting bigger but that also doesn't seem to be reassuring me. I'm so anxious about it - I'm not sure how I'm going to handle the moment when they actually bring the screen up. Just need some hand-holding and some good luck wishes really. Thank you!

Hello and hope all other babes and people thriving.

Sorry - just realised I said 12 week scan today about 4 times in my previous post. you'd never know I'm obsessing about it...!

(((HUGS)) for mabel it's normal to have a major wobble before a scan. The doom!

My technique with scans has been to tell the sonographer that I've had previous losses and ask them to tell me straight away if there is a heartbeat, then I relax and they can take as long as they like to look at and measure whatever they want.

I hope it's a lovely experience for you and baby is in there dancing a jig.

Good luck mableMay** sending you lots of hand holding

Gold luck MRsG thinking of you - take deep breaths xxx