Pregnancy after miscarriage - part 4

[mygirllolipop]

Message withdrawn

t4t & lf - you've given me great comfort today. Thanks so much. Can't tell you how much your words have meant to me.

You're the best. and {{{hugs}}}

Message withdrawn

Evening all,

Due dates are hard aren't they - I really thought I was over my mc but it came back and hit me, and I ended up taking a couple of days off work and just staying in bed. (at which point I actually dared to join Mumsnet for the support - hence the nickname...) But I agree with mygirl, it's better to accept them and acknowledge that it's not all OK, than pretend. I hope you are all feeling better now.

And I was reading this earlier and wondering how I got through the first 15 or so weeks when I was checking the toilet paper every time I went and worrying constantly. Then I remembered. We got married. Distracted me quite comprehensively for a good two months or more. (And I know this is going to sound mad, but it was partly a conscious decision- we had a work thing fall through this year as well, and so we thought that at least if we had the wedding, then even if I miscarried again, we'd have something to look forward to). So I think www and t4t are right, lots of goals and distractions help. Although you don't all need to be as drastic as me...

All of which makes me sound like I've got it all under control by now, but I still don't believe that there will be a real baby at the end of it, and I don't think I will until this happens -I still feel as though there will be something to go wrong.

Hope tomorrow is better for all of you.

hello all

WWW - LittleFrog - hope today is better for you both. I'm off now to shake a leg and arrange some nice things.

thinking of you both ((hugs))

feeling a bit better today - hope you are too.

Hope you get lots of nice things sorted! I'm going to book a spa day with my best friend - could do with a bit of pampering! Also going to buy some nice bath oil, face masks...start to treat myself a bit - sounds good,eh?

Off th take ds to the hairdresser's - he's starting to look like a wee girl with his long curly blonde hair!

Message withdrawn

Wow, what a rush of messages!
It's SO helpful to hear about everyone else, and to know that we're not alone. Maybe you're right and we so need to tell our nearest and dearest. In fact, what you've all said has made me think about what happened last time a bit more, and I realise that (most of) the people whose reactions hurt were those who hadn't known anything until we told them about the miscarriage. So perhaps that means that we should be braver this time and tell more people soon. Though I'm not sure I can quite face it yet. Also, one of my most most supportive friends is waiting to find out if her IVF treatment has worked, and I just can't tell her now. Another had a huge family tragedy last week, and again it doesn't seem the moment. Oh I don't know...
Anyway, arranging nice things is definitely a good idea. We're off on holiday a week today, so that's something nice to look forward to.
Hope others have a good day, and thank you again for all the support and kindness.

Message withdrawn

I found telling my closest friends was a real help. It meant when i was having a bad day i had someone to turn to.

Also, i never thought i'd end up with a baby, even in labour i felt a bit detached from it all. But its all ok now so try and enjoy as much as you can (easier said than done i know)and the time will fly by and before you know it you'll have your baby in your arms.

Good luck to you all. xx

Hi Everyone

I'm sort of new to this forum (last posted back in 2003 when ds was a few months old).

I just wanted to say that I'm 16 weeks pregnant, have had 3 miscarriages since ds was born. Miscarriages at 12 weeks, 5 wks and 6 wks.

I haven't told any of my friends about this pregnancy. Like SnowBoo, I feel detached and not entirely convinced that a live baby will result. I've lost confidence in my body.

I do wish all the luck to all potential mums who've miscarried before or who haven't. Pregnancy is supposed to be a wonderful time but it's just one big headache (sometimes literally).

Oh well, fingers crossed.

G

Hello Gwu welcome - and congratulations on getting this far. I really hope everything goes well for you this time. You'll find plenty of people on this thread who understand the downs of being pregnant, rather than expecting it all to be roses and joy all the way.

I'm now at 30 weeks, and still not believing that I will actually end up with a baby. We've been given all sorts of bits of stuff for it, and every so often I go in and stare at it vaguely, but I can't think that it will ever have anything to do with me...

Hello Gwu and welcome,

We all know what you feel like. One big headache is right - especially today for me, my head's been pounding! Hope your stay on this thread is a support to you, it certainly is to me and for many others, I'm sure. I'm about 13 weeks. I still can't believe that this will actually go all the way either, suppose it's a defense mechanism - if I don't let myself believe in a happy ending, it won't be such a shock and disappointment if it isn't. But here's hoping that it doesn't come to that.

How is everyone else today? I'm in avoidance mode - plenty of housework to be getting on with but I just haven't got the enery or motivation! Hoping for a burst of energy soon so I can at least get some things done!

Message withdrawn

Hi all -is it OK if I join this thread? I am 8+4 weeks pregnant now having had a mc 18 months ago at 13 weeks. My BIL also died very suddenly at 45 the day I had my D&C so it was all a pretty stressful time and it is only the last few months that my DH and I have been trying again as at 37 my biological clock was ticking very loudly. I had a couple of really anxious weeks when I first found out I was pregnant and thoughts of mc are never far from my mind at the moment - every pain or strange feeling seems magnified to the power of 100! I know this is normal but it doesn't make it any easier does it...it's nice to find some kindred spirits

hello babycakes...welcome!

Sounds like you have had a very rough time, hope you can feel more positive and hopeful for the future. We're all in the same boat on this thread so feel free to vent! (I certainly do!)
How are you feeling?

Hello and welcome Babycakes and Gwu, hello all,

Babycakes, I'm sorry for your bad times - for you and your DH. The awareness that we have after mc and being pregnant of both death and new life and how close they can be is maybe one of those things that makes this such a confusing up=and-down time. and Gwu, you really put into words how I've been feeling - that lack of confidence in your body. Tuesday's scan is still looming large, so MGLollipop, that insight is a big help.

I've been having a better time - spent more time with friends, one new friend who had a missed mc like me, and now has a lovely little 3 month boy. it was great to see something turn out well. Plus with all this rain, the grass in our garden is coming back to life, which somehow seems very cheering. Gardening has really helped in the last months (spent loads on plants after mc)

now waiting for a nice takeout curry

have a good evening lovely ladies

Message withdrawn

Thank you for all those very kind messages. They're very encouraging.

Twocats, surely you must feel relief now being so close to the end and knowing that some mums have given birth at less than 30 weeks and all ended well?

Weewilliewinkie, similar to you, I keep on thinking this won't end with a live baby. In fact, I kind of make myself think how would I feel if I started to bleed now so that I'll be more prepared should it end that way. The other night, I was drying myself after a shower and I suddenly found fresh blood on the towel and the floor. Of course I had a huge fit thinking I was bleeding from you know where. DH came in and told me my nose was bleeding! Anyway, my reaction showed me that I'd let my guard down.

Mygirllolipop, I do envy your optimism and hope I start to feel 100% positive about this pregnancy. I keep on telling myself what will be will be and if it does end in a miscarriage then life will be ok maybe even good but in a different way. Not exactly optimistic but I guess optimistic for the worst outcome.

Babycakes, have they offered you an early scan given your history and your age? If a heartbeat's found then this should ease some of the worry. A friend of mine, for her first pregnancy, was so nervous that she lied to her GP. She said she'd been spotting to get an early scan.

Time4tea, good luck with your scan. The grass growing back is obviously a very good omen!

Thanks for your welcome everyone Hope you have all had a relaxing weekend. I have had a bad pain on and off on my rh side most of the weekend so been taking it easy. DH has been a star looking after me although I did cook a family lunch today which made me feel that I achieved something in an otherwise uneventful weekend. Can't say that I am feeling relaxed with this pain and keep going to the loo to check for blood (think this is now a conditioned reflex! How paranoid an I!!). I have my booking in with MW in the morning so sure I'll feel better after a chat with her...Thanks for the advice about the early scan Gwu - I was going to ask about this tomorrow as I think I would feel better if I saw a heartbeat even at this early stage of 9 weeks (on Tuesday). I was thinking about trying to arrange one privately if I could not get this sorted via NHS - anyone done this? Is it worth it?

Welcome Babycakes and Gwu, and hello everyone, hope people had nice weekends.
Babycakes - hope the appt with the midwife goes well, and that you can get a scan. I had a second one last week (I'm now 8 weeks, 7 weeks then) and all looked fine. However I was completely unprepared for the wave of emotion that hit me afterwards. I'd thought that I'd be really relieved and happy if all was OK; in fact I still felt petrified, and completely unconvinced that this pregnancy will have a baby at the end of it. But it was still definitely the right thing for me, to have the early scan.
Ok, time for work...

Hey all... first time here, just got a BFP on Saturday, after a m/c at 8 weeks in June. I am over joyed but so terribly scared at the same time. Any advice from anyone that has been in this position? I really do want to everything I can to give me as much chance as possible of having a healthy birth in 8ish months time.. have spent hours on the internet researching do's and donts..infact I'm thinking of installing a bubble wrap pod in my house and taking up residence there til everything is ok!!

Message withdrawn

hi all, and welcome geordiemacminx! We're all in the same boat here, all worried about our pg's but we can go through it all together. Feel free to talk!

Saw my MW this morning and she let me hear baby's heartbeat - lovely. 150 beats per minute. Actually has made me relax quite a bit. I'm only 14 weeks tomorrow so pretty pleased we could hear it.

Hope everyone else is feeling ok..xx

I know this is probably gonna seem pretty random but does anyone have any advice on mayonaise? I know a while back you were supposed to avoid it due to unpastorised (sp)eggs but a lot of the big brands Helmans etc all state that pasturised eggs are used.. does this mean that it is safe to eat? I love mayo with eveything but if it wasnt safe then would give it up ust incase!!! Thanks, and apologies once again for randomness!!

Message withdrawn