Pregnancy after miscarriage - part 4

[mygirllolipop]

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Oh Nicola- I am so very sorry. Thinking of you and your dh.....

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Nicola - I'm so so sorry to hear your sad news. You've had more to cope with than anybody should. I hope that you will have the strength to deal with this and I'm sure your dh will be a great comfort to you over the next few months.
Thinking of you.

very sorry to hear this news Nicola. so sad, and dreadful for you to cope with again.

Take care, look after yourself. Much love. xx

Nicola, I'm so, so sorry to hear this, I really did want it to be alright for you this time. I do wish you all of the best in whatever you decide.

tc x x x

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Nicola, so sorry to hear your news. Wishing you all the best xxx.

Nicola, what can I say, that's just such sad news. I'm really sorry you are having to go through this all over again - that's just too unfair.
xxxxxxxx

Thanks for the sympathy and good wishes. As I already had every possible investigation after the second miscarriage and nothing very definitive was found, other than a slight thyroid problem, which is now treated. I have also been on heparin and aspirin during this pregnancy. The only investigation that is being done this time is chromosomal analysis of the embryo, and if this shows an abnormality then it may be worth trying again, possible with IVF and preimplantation chromosomal screening. Otherwise I probably won't, as there will obviously then be something unidentifiable wrong with me, that causes a pregnancy to fail at this stage every time and which we do not seem to be able to influence. And I don't want to go through this again if that is the case.

Once again, good luck everyone and all the best.

dear Nicola, I was so, so sad to hear the news. this journey isn't easy for anyone, and this is particularly hard. you sound so brave - whatever path you take now, I hope good times aren't far away for you and your husband. best of luck to you, and good spirits for what comes next

Oh Nicola - I've just read your sad news on here. I'm so very very sorry for you. There's nothing I can say really, but just wanted to send you some love and ((((hugs))))

Thank you so much everyone. Now I am going to bow out of this thread, with every good wish for all of you lovely ladies. I am still off work today, taking it easy. DH and I are going to think together over the next few weeks what we would like to do next. This is something that needs to filter through in time, not be decided quickly.

Love to you all.

Nicola

hello all

hoping all well with you all. Nicola's experience and her humblingly wise reactions have been on my mind a lot. I've been worrying about my attitude to this baby - on the one hand, sharing with Nicola makes it seem all the more precious, on the other hand, I'm finding it still quite hard to connect with this baby (even though it is lovely to feel it boing around, and DS shouted @Hello baby can you hear me in there? at my big tummy - a nice moment.) Is it just an emotional hangover from the miscarriage (I realised yesterday that I had hardly talked it over at all with DH, and that we are also quite distant with each other, apart from being mummy and daddy together..) or am I just knackered because pregnant and with a toddler...

Hope everybody is doing okay.

Had a midwife appointment today, and have been told my baby is very likely breech again. I'll be 40 weeks on Thursday and am feeling very depressed at the thought now of a c-section.

I have a hospital appointment tomorrow afternoon where I'll be scanned to confirm the baby's position. I don't know if it will be too late to try and turn the baby or this may not be an option if the baby is only going to turn back the wrong way again.

T4T I totally understand what your saying, mc kinda takes over your life doesnt it. Try and be positive though chick

Wools - sorry your facing a c section, i dont really know much about babies being breech, never experienced it before.

Hope everyone else is well?

Im 21 weeks now, which means 15 weeks left till my section at 36 weeks which is kind of scary. We have bit the bullet and started buying baby things too. Had My anomoly scan last week and beanie is another boy, it was so obvious anyway.

Im so so sorry to hear about Nicola though I really thought she might be ok this time ((hugs))

Anyway I have dp off work with manflu so best go see to him

take care all

Julie x x

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Hi all,

Nicola's experience has been on my mind too, t4t. I think what you're feeling will be a combinatin of lots of things - your own m/c experience being foremost in your mind. I kind of understand when you say you don't feel you are 'bonded' with this baby - I felt the same until fairly recently. Now I make a point of talking to my baby every day, always along the lines of..'you get bigger and stronger wee one'..also feeling it move around so much makes it all much more real. Why don't you start buying wee things for it - sleepsuits and the like? Make it real. I'm having issues with my dh at the moment - he refuses to feel baby kick, says he's too superstitious. This really saddens me as I feel he's missing out. I know he's just scared of things going wrong again, but so am I, and I don't have the choice of whether or not I feel the kicking!

Wools - really hope the baby turns before Thursday. Spend as much time as you can on all fours! Isn't that meant to help? Sorry, I can't offer any advice..just focus on the positive- your baby will be delivered safely. Good luck!

Julezboo - a boy - yippee! How was it 'obvious anyway'? I've got my scan on Friday (I'll be 21 weeks too) and have decided not to find out, but'll be having a damn good look anyway! and 15 weeks is ages - you've got Xmas to get through first!

Hope everyone else is well....

great to hear from you all, it had gone very quiet

Wools - my DS was in breech, we had a C-section in the end, and I thought it was great, very relaxed and gentle. So whether it turns or not, don't worry.

Julie - DH with manflu - bad luck! why do you know you are having your CS at 36 weeks? I think I might be having a second CS (although madly scanning the VBAC threads on here, still not entirely decided...)

I'm having my 20 week scan in 2 weeks, although I'm 20 weeks already (DH is away next week, so we postponed) so we are all at about the same time... I bought "There's a house inside my mummy" today for DS, its a very cute book. Am keeping pecker up.

again, lovely to hear from you all, it indeed is now time for some tea

T4T

www - we asked her to show us and she did twice, there was no mistaking what he was LOL

T4t - They tell me its too dangerous with the blood clotting disorder I have to go past 36 weeks. My ds was born at 31 weeks due to bp problems so really baby could come anytime after 24 weeks As soon as my BP goes up Ill be in, I almost died with DS cos it got thath high!

good evening!

Wools - what a bummer (if you will excuse the appalling pun). I suppose if it's turned once, it may do so again (and the midwives may have it wrong anyway). Here's hoping it's good news tomorrow.

All of which makes me a bit less confident about the fact that mine has now turned - for the moment at least. But the midwife was by no means certain, and had to send me up for a scan to check. While this is good news, I am also slightly freaked out by this, as it means that I definitely have to give birth to this baby. Not that I particularly want a ceasarian, more that I hadn't really thought about the inevitability of getting it out somehow...hey ho

Time4tea - I certainly found it very hard to believe in this baby after the miscarriage - I think as www said, it is always with you, and one tends to be holding something back as a result. Even now, at almost 37 weeks, I am convinced that it may yet all go wrong. And as for your dh, I think they do take it very differently. Oddly enough, we were talking about this last night, and he said that he found it very hard during the miscarriage, and felt guilty because he wasn't as sad as I am - so we're still very much dealing with the aftermath as well, even now.

julez - glad the 20 week scan was all good - and the shopping starts here...

www - good luck on Friday for the scan.

hi ladies, ive been watching another thread, though as i've been reading through this one ive been saying "me too", "thats EXACTLY what i think" and such like. can i join you?

i have been so touched by many of the sentiments expressed here.

im 7 weeks today and due my first scan next Tuesday cos i had mc in june. i thought id gained the strength to 'move on' though now im pg again all the pain and trepidation seems to have come flooding back.

ive had blood in urine since june(ish) though tests for infections, bladder and kidney problems have been negative. will also have camera investigation next week following scan. worried stiff they'll find something major and ask me to terminate. any advice?

sorry to be so miserable on my first posting but im worried stiff. xx

Good morning everyone.

Welcome Monalisasmile. You're in the right place here. We're all worriers. Congratulations on your pregnancy. I totally understand your fears - it is difficult to relax following a miscarriage. Whilst I can't shed any light on blood in the urine - I think getting pregnant is probably unrelated to it. Good luck with your scan on Tuesday and the camera investigation.

Thanks everyone for your reassuring words about my acrobatic baby. At least this afternoon, I'll have a definate answer. I'm not frightened of a c-section (in fact it would be nice to be able to plan things and not have to go through the labour bit.) My ds1 is only 3 and ds2 age 1 and I need to be up on my feet pretty quickly so not looking forward to the recovery more than anything.

Twocats - that's great news about your baby turning. I know what you mean about facing the reality of baby having to come out though - scary isn't it?

Hello everyone,

What a lot of news from people all at once!

Monalisa, welcome, and you?ll get lots of sympathy and understanding from people here about what you?re feeling. I hope that you get some answers soon about the blood, as that must be an extra strain.

Time4tea, your feelings seem to mirror mine; I know just what you mean about not connecting with this baby. But then I don?t have anything to compare this to ? I?ve never had a successful pregnancy, nor one without the fear of miscarriage hanging right over my head. Still, I?d expected to feel much more joyful and happy by now, and it bothers me that those feelings aren?t all bubbling over. I think this may partly be because DH and I are both very scared of building up dreams and hopes together when they all fell apart last time. Is your DH supportive? Scared? I think www is right that starting to consciously make it real by planning and buying things will help. (Not advice I can take myself yet ? still barely even told anyone we?re expecting again, let alone started to buy stuff).

Actually, going back the husband question, it must be so difficult for them seeing the person they love torn to pieces by a miscarriage in physical and emotional ways that they never will be, no matter now much they wanted the baby. I think my husband was more upset for me than with me, if that makes sense. Which I found hard to deal with ? difficult not to interpret that as him not caring about the baby.

Wools and 2cats, glad one baby seems to be behaving now, and fingers crossed that yours will oblige as well wools! You?re both so close now! Julez, v exciting to know what you?re having!

Hope everyone else is well; we're fine, just getting a bit damp and chilly (still no roof/ heating/ proper hot water...)

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Hi can I join you ladies? I've waited and waited and feel a little more confident now. I've had 3 m/c's and am currently 13+5. I've also had a nuchal scan and was given a 1/33 risk. However, due to my history we are going to wait until my 20wk scan and see what happens.