PG after MC: sticking with posifrickintivity - today we are pregnant

[ChristineDaae]

Over this way ladies....!

So I finished the last thread by accident apologising for my awful typing skills! Sorry!
If anyone is on a real computer please feel free to add our stats list

saggy that's also a worry - the 'it gets worse from here bit' I intend to pursue the issue even if I have to go to the board of education. The closer the EDD gets the more it feel the need to make sure my DC are on the right path

christine DH says the same - that angers him more - I'd rather a child that strives but doesn't get the top grades than this blasé attitude he has towards his education, he's not into girls or his appearance or anything like that so I'm struggling to find a explanation. When asked about his day at school the generic response is "I've just wasted 6 hours of my life" I'm hurt by the lies more than anything - the way he had constructive this whole story to account for the time he was at school etc... It really has shocked me

Christine LOVE the name :) and it's good to know thy you can get through labour with no pain relief even if it is an accident!

Been giving some thought to my birth plan and despite always insisting I wanted to be drugged up through the process I've found myself feeling a bit worried about the effects of some of the drugs and am considering trying the no pain relief route... Although given I'm such a wimp, I reckon I'll barely be through the hospital doors before I'm begging for an epidural

penguin your Nana Knitting frenzy made me laugh! I'm having the same problem - except for the fact that neither of the nanas in question can actually knit but they think it's something they ought to be doing! So far I have been proudly presented with three booties (all different sizes and shapes!) And something that is supposed to be a blanket it's all very amusing!

Fod, im sorry that was bad of me. Not worse so much as different. When they become teens they change so much. The intimidating stare and the scarily raised voice don't work Any more and talking too them results in far too clever responses and strops. Dealing with them gets harder. BUT, I ADORE my teens too. They're clever and funny and kind and supportive. Your ds sounds much like mine. Hes 18 next month and is so laid back as to be almost asleep. He swanned his way through school and really wasted his talents. Hes a bit of a rudderless ship still but he's getting there. Hes in his second year at college and he's finally getting a grip and working really hard. There's still no girls or sport or vegetables in his life but he volunteers in the community shop, is a scout leader and attends the school youth club.
tbh I washed my hands of trying to be responsible and control him some time ago, it just doesn't work, but being a generally good person is helping him. He'll get there, he just has to do it himself. Plenty of people fluff school and go on to succeed. Its sad that they make a child's main education during the hardest part of their development.
My advice to you would be, try and maintain some leverage over him now when he's younger and still reasonably controllable and make sure you have a good handle on the whole school thing and where he's at, instead of mainly listening to what he tells you and trusting in that . Which it sounds like you're doing already, so keep it up and don't back down. xxx

kjh dont rule out the drugs. They have their pitfalls but are all brilliant too. Gas and air takes the edge off but wears off really quickly too, pethidine is basically a sedative which can help you rest. It really knocks me out and can pass to the baby but has an antidote of they really need it. And epidural can make pushing effectively a little harder but is brilliant if there's a chance you might need a cesarean. They all have a place and there's no shame in using them!

I didn't manage to get on here yesterday and so much has happened! Been awake fir over 3 hours so have given up. Consultant appointment this morning so it's probably playing on my mind!

christine wow. Well done you, no pain relief and a good size. Lovely name too. Hope you're all doing well x

hopeful sorry to hear of your worries. See if you can get another blood test to check levels are rising. I sometimes think they don't realise how long and agonising a wait can be

marmite I was the same as pixie no regular movement to well after 20 weeks but this is my first I know. Try not to worry to much

pixie and guff I too feel like I need a bit more time but looking at the list and being 2 nd on it is a bit daunting. Feel free to leap frog me! Although still probable cs the week before. How are you doing now pixie?

fod no advice but I hope you get to the bottom of it

liesl how are you feeling? So close now! My nursery furniture arrived yesterday and it's weird looking at it. Seems a long time getting to this point and now it's overwhelming!

kjh sounds like a plan. I can't imagine having to do nights. I'm still at work but am so exhausted now but last week I've started taking a day and a morning off. I seem to have so much I want to finish before baby arrives!

Hello to everyone else and sorry if I missed anything but my pregnant sleep deprived brain tried its best to remember!

marmite try not to worry about movements so early on. I thought I felt movement at about 14 weeks, then nothing until 17, and it's been inconsistent until the last week or so (now 23 weeks) I have anterior placenta which is muffling some of it. MW was not concerned about consistent/patterned movement until 24 weeks. 13 weeker is tiny, if it has moved to a different area of the womb you may not feel anything. hope 16 week appt brings reassurance.

KJH worth bearing in mind the pros and cons of the available options but keep an open mind till the day. The 'soft' options def worth a try first, I found natal hypnotherapy v helpful, TENS machine, water. Both times I got to 10cm with those then had G&A for pushing, but would not have ruled out pet hiding or epidural had I not been coping.

saggy your totally right, I've given him far too much reign and responsibility and that's my downfall he's thrown it in my face in all honesty and is of the opinion that he can tell me what he will it will not be doing and has even started to 'parent' his younger sister! Only this morning I had told her to tell him to do a chore and he told her 'I'm making sandwiches so you can do it' oooooo I saw red! Your right though the situation needs to be controlled and I'm going to have to do everything in my power to get him back on track, I think I need to monitor the situation closely via the school and go from there xx

Can one have cheese on toast for breakfast? I'm obsessed with cheese and I'm only 4 weeks

Congrats christine amazing news!!

Not feeling very sick or sore boobed today. Someone do me a favour and give me a 1940s movie styleee slap and shout "pull yourself together woman!".
FFS I felt sick at 5am, sore boobed all night...

Di it quick before he gets 6ft tall and 13 stone like my monster!

Penguin cherish the nanna knits! There's love in every wonky stitch!
my best knitting nanna is dead now and the other two can't manage it any more. I was swamped before but now a few lot of years down the line, Ryvita won't get her own. Everything I have from before is an heirloom and tucked away in tissue. It goes round the family for each new baby but ALWAYS comes back! And every time I open the case I get memory overload and a little sniffle!

squiz pull yourself together you silly mare. My boobs are often less sore in the am, I put it down to them not being subject to the force of gravity for a few hours.
fedup you are a wicked woman. I normally have a virtuous breakfast of porridge and green tea, but thanks to your cheese on toast reference that ain't going to cut it this morning. Canteen here I come.

Fod call and ask to speak to the head of year. Also ask about their procedure for informing parents of detentions (we have a standard text so parents don't worry, followed up with a phonecall about the whys from the actual teacher).

PS. Take comfort in your skills - sounds like you're doing the right things. In contrast... Had a parent call under similar circumstances yesterday and call me a "f*ing liar" because the child had insisted they DIDN'T have detention. Yeah right, I make up fake detentions to discredit teenage boys. Top marks for parenting to that dad ... making a rod for his own back IMHO.

Hey fod, here's my bigger boy ideas. I'm just one woman talking, so feel free to ignore. It's going to kill you to do it, but big breath, and .....

Give back all the confiscated stuff. Stop any punishment whatsoever until you have a clearer idea of what is going on behind all this. Sit him down. Hug him. Tell him that you totally want to kill him right now for how scared he is making you, and how powerless you feel right now, but that you are his mum, you trust that he is essentially a good kid, and you know that he won't have changed inside, whatever his behaviour is right now. Tell him if there is anything he needs to tell you, you'll listen, and you'll try not to scream at him (and that's the hard bit, because you might want to throttle him for whatever is going on right now).

Not doing the homework is a bit naughty (and obviously scares the crap out of us parents), but there might be lots of reasons for that. Not coming home and not telling you is rotten. That's scary, and it's not fair of him to do that. Tell him you're making a distinction between what's just pain in the ass behaviour (homework - that part can get sorted/caught up when the behaviour stuff is fixed), and really not ok (not letting you know where he is, because you love him, and need to know he's okay). Hug him at this part too. Maybe pass some biscuits over.

Tell him that you have no idea what's going on for him, and that you know it's really hard to be a 12 year old. Say that you know it's probably harder for kids now than it was for us when we were 12, and that you know there is more bullying, more drugs, more sexual abuse (and yes, you need to say all that part), and on top of that you know he might have all sorts of thoughts about how the family is going to change with a baby in it. Do more hugging now.

Tell him that you're not going to try to force him to talk right now, because you get that he might not know what to say right away, but that you love him, and you're totally on his team, whatever is happening for him, and you'll do anything you can to fix it, whether that's changing schools or whatever (you probably don't need to actually do this, but it lets him see that you are thinking big here if he feels he needs you to get that it's something serious). More hugging here. Then walk away (unless he's ready to talk).

Sending huge parenting hugs xxxxxx

Oh, and tonight, it could be film night. You could get a video and a pizza (we're all about the supermarket bought pizza here, as we're stingy), and just do something fun together. No serious talk, no 'hey this is great when you've stopped acting like a 12 year old alien' (much as it kills me not to say this to mine when he's driving me up the wall), just film and pizza.

Boys seem to 'get' pizza at a deep, psychologically satisfying level

christine ace name. I love it! so unusual.

Had mw this morning and now at hospital for a bit of monitoring after I mentioned a change in baby movements and the tightenings etc. Hopefully nothing to worry about as hb is fine but they want to check nevertheless which is good. Getting tightenings again but think that's cos I'm a bit anxious now!

tea I just welled up reading that advice, I really need to store that away for future reference.

Am five weeks today :) Finished my sockmonster last night. Unfortunately DP thought it was for the baby rather than a distraction. We'll have to see. Lead to a good chat about how worried we are this time round so that was quite nice, to the extent that such a chat can be...

Sawyer is a gorgeous name! My DP likes such plain boring names I am expecting a fight when we get that far.

Fedup, mmm, cheese is good! I am wanting cheese, chicken and hard boiled eggs all the time. DP says I must want protein to grow the bubba so will gladly fetch these for me it is excellent!

Squiz, do you still need a slap?! I am warming up my hands!

Saggy that case sounds soooo lovely. That is such a nice thing to have.

Sorry I've no advice on teenagers but wishing you luck & patience x

Pixie sending you a hug for your anxiousness. Great that hb is fine and they taking such good care of you.

ooh lovely post tea - got me properly welled-up too.

Fod I hope you get things sorted.

londonjen your DH may surprise you - mine refused to discuss names until we knew whether it was a boy or girl and I assumed he'd have the boring options and I'd need to put my foot down and be all pregnant-bossy about the fact we weren't going to name our son Dave (not that there is anything wrong with that name but we know 15 of them!) But actually he surprised me and the first name he came up with is the one we are going for...

Thanks for all the labour-pain relief advice. I have been doing a lot of reading on it all so feel quite informed. Having chatted to friends I think the overwhelming advice is that things never really go to plan and you need to be prepared for every eventuality - the thought of it still terrifies the living daylights out of me, but still got 10 weeks to wrap my head around it :)

Pixie hope you are ok? Have they hooked you up to a monitor to look at heartbeat and measure any womb contractions? That is what they did for me on Tues. I found it oddly reassuring and the MW was lovely!

Can't remember who posted about unhealthy breakfasts but mine has consisted of freshly baked cranberry and cream cheese muffins... followed by fudge (I blame Saggy for that obsession from about 8 threads ago!)

saggy those were my thoughts exactly!

I did that yesterday squiz and shock/horror I'm still waiting for them to get back to me, that's what I struggle to get my head round, I love it when parents contact the college and want to support us with their children so I'm struggling to see why they aren't utilising me more

tea is there a time frame on this advice? As I think I need to really calm down before executing a plan of hugs

Oh dear God, the hunger is insane. I had a bacon roll and banana for brekkie, and now famished again, but don't know what I want to eat. going out to forage now.

Fod a 24hr turnaround is reasonable. I teach all day with meetings each end for 2 solid days, so can't always just 'ring back' the same day or until the end of the next. Especially if I need to speak to a colleague or do any investigations. Any longer and contact their SMT who will have a policy in place.