Pregnant (IVF) Worriers/ Warriors Part 5

[MrsHY1]

Hello ladies! Come and find me!

Keep someone else's dirt is especially vile. I paid to have our last house cleaned after we'd left as I was mortified about leaving it dirty for the new owners!

Motor get that bag packed. Then you can forget about it.

Sweetie olive oil near the eyes is absolutely fine. You only need a tiny amount to rub in to the cradle cap anyway. I buy the cheapest basic Aveeno, the large cream and green bottle. It's just called Aveeno Lotion or Cream.

I am really not a parenting genius as I am having terrible trouble with Ringlet. She hardly eats anything and has hardly slept the last two nights at my parents, so I have been up with her walking her and shushing her all bloody night. I am insanely tired (and am even wearier due to various relatives continually telling me it is all my own fault and what she 'should' be doing by now.)

Oh onion the 'advice' from relatives is particularly wearisome. I have grown to loath the phrase 'rod for your own back'. It brings me out in a rash. Or should that be rage. Nothing gives people the right to judge your choices and your baby. Not even blood. Cleaning your house when you move out is dedication. I'd have left it

Keep such a good idea to get the new house cleaned before you move in. Then you aren't cleaning around your furniture and boxes. So exciting to be moving soon. I can't wait even though it will be difficult with a baby. I'm nervous but excited about leaving London.

Sweetie thank you so much. I've pm'd you. How are you feeling? I bet it you and DH looked cute with the twins in their carriers. What is PFB? I know what you mean about checking them all the time.

Motor. Pack your bag! It sounds like things might be happening . Either way enjoy your leave but try not to worry too much. At this point I was stressing about how different life was going to be. It is such an unknown. Yes it is different obviously but not having shazlett is unimaginable now and I know that I needn't have worried about everything that I was worried about. It is natural to worry though!

Hope everyone else is ok.
All good here. Tomorrow gin and I are going to a workshop on infant sleep and babyled weaning so we will report back.

Precious First Born = PFB. I'm as bad with my Precious Second Born so it doesn't always apply.

I gave Ringlet weetabix before bed last night and the night before and then had six hours of writhing, crying and farting. I'm wondering if she's intolerant to gluten. Or so much of it at bedtime. Shazz, what do you reckon? I'm going to avoid it for a few days and see if her sleep improves.

Megaplaydate today. I'll have five guests, I'm weary already.

onion my god a five guest play date? You are hard core. However half term brings out the Navy SEAL in all of us. I took DS plus two friends and baby to local soft play hellhole on Friday and shipped him off to a football day yesterday. Today he is at home with me as I try futilely to limit screen time. I have come down with a terrible stomach bug since Sunday so can't take him out. I'm afraid it's giardia and that the baby will get it.

Said baby seems to have decided that feeds every 2 hrs thru the night suit her just fine and why didn't she try it sooner? Coupled with stomach bug is making me feel horribly drained, although on the plus side I've lost another 3 lbs.

There is nothing worse than feeling judged on your parenting, particularly when you are struggling with the aspect in question. It's like with bumps, everyone is an expert yet each one is unique so you can't really judge. We in this thread all know what a wonderful, dedicated mother you are onion so just try to ignore anyone who bothers you.

motor that could well be the start of a show, I had spotting a few days before labour started. Don't worry the baby would be fine now! And you would avoid induction although the loss of the mat leave on your own wld be a shame. Keep us posted!

Hi to everyone else!

Not five kids! Two parents and three kids and they've gone now. Was actually fine but I'm glad it's over and Ringlet can have her nap. I'll do anything to avoid soft play centres, one of the rings of hell is made of soft play.

fairy I have a thing about giardia (and washing fruit). It's very unlikely to be that though. Sympathies, it's really really not what you need at half term. We are already on seemingly limitless screen time here, I can't do anything else during nap times. I'm thinking of taking them both to the Sea Life centre tomorrow in Blackpool. I can't decide whether it's a fine idea or asking for trouble.

onions I am on a local twins group who were all talking about half a banana at bedtime to help unsettled sleepers. I am not sure if this is something you have tried but might be worth giving it a go.

Shazza enjoy the course tomorrow. Isn't it a bit soon for weening conversations? that said my hv said she will bring me weening information at her next visit. I will email you the tummy time sheet tomorrow when I am on the laptop.

fairy hope you are feeling better soon. I have never heard of the thing but I am not going to Google as I am sure it will tell me more than I want to know.

I have been to collect my prescription for the mini pill. I feel a bit sad about going on the pill after so long ttc. DH and I had a long conversation about having more children. I am open to the idea even at the ripe old age of 40. but DH says we should stick to what we have. We have a single frozen blasto left and I suppose I would have liked to have given it a go but I don't suppose there is any rush. will see how we feel in a year or so. no doubt the twins will be keeping us very busy at that point and the idea of another baby will send me cowering in a dark corner.

sweetie someone else recommended mashed banana as supper. Another awful night though, I don't know what is wrong with her but she was whinging and twisting all night. DH says controlled crying part two must start again tonight. I am despairing. Anyway, we're off to the zoo today so hopefully they'll both be worn out afterwards and sleep all nigh!

Sympathies on the contraceptive decision. We all have mixed feelings whatever we decide. I know that at the moment the thought of another newborn makes me feel nauseous. I should have 'This too shall pass' tattooed on the inside of my eyelids.

went to get weighed today. 13lb 5 so now above the 50th centile, started about the 25th. but... HV was surprised at me bf every 3 hours in the day, and 2-3 times over the course of a 12 hour night. said I should think about refusing overnight.

Hi girls

Keep I bf 2-3 hrs during day and 3 times between 8 PM-8am. We usually have 7-8 feeds in 24 hrs depending on what we are doing. Occasionally it is only 6 feeds. Well done for weight gain. Sounds like Kip is doing well.

Sweetie I have an unopened box of mini pill on bedside table. I've had it for 6 weeks now. I can't bring myself to take them. We've been using condoms for now. When we get bored of that I know I'll have to taken them but until then. I'm not considering weaning yet. The workshop was a gentle intro to babycalm, infant sleep, baby wearing and BLW. It was interesting albeit quite introductory.

Onion poor you. Does DH help you with coping with controlled crying? Yesterday she was advising against sleeping training but I guess if nothing is working and you need to sleep. You must be so tired.

Fairy I love the Navy Seal ref! Good to keep DS entertained. A friend visited with her 3 yr old boy today. He started out pretty energetic but nothing too wild but by the end he was jumping on my sofa like a trampoline saying 'look how high I can jump mummy ' and doing belly flops on the cushions. And she did nothing to stop him. He was so wound up. I could see the energy in him trying to dissipate. She aw going to take him to the park.

Motor anymore news today?

Hello to everyone else.

I signed up for Lazy Daisy training today and I've decided to do baby/ toddler calm as well. Maybe later. I'm excited but nervous. I can't believe I'm not going back to work!

Oh onion re gluten. I don't know those symptoms although I think being gluten free is good for most people. If she gets used to it now it won't be hard later. I broke my gluten free and now I'm struggling to get back in track and I'm covering in hives.

I have to go to sleep now. I'm falling asleep

Good luck with the move keep! I hope you are able to accept all the help on offer and not get too stressed. You can hopefully bag the very important and full time job of looking after Kip while everybody else does the moving bit. Great news re the weight, though odd advice from the HV. I am not a mum yet but have done plenty of reading on feeding (futile attempt at preparation!) and your pattern seems textbook normal.

Shazza very exciting that you have signed up to the LD training. Your life is changing in so many ways! Good for you.

Hope you are feeling better fairy - very bad luck to fall ill at half term!

How was the trip to the zoo onion?

As for me, all is quiet. First day of maternity leave today but feeling pretty stressed and under pressure. I feel like I have so much to do, and haven't yet got my head around the fact that I do have time to do it all in. Another shit appointment with midwife, who continued the "we do all we can to achieve vaginal delivery" mantra, effectively cutting off the possibility of discussing alternatives. Someone in my pregnancy yoga class who comes under the same health trust as me and who is the same age and risk factors as me has been offered a CS. I don't want a CS, I would just prefer it to syntocin, epidural, instrumental delivery etc. Ultimately, I would like a spontaneous labour with minimal intervention. I nearly cried in my appointment but managed not to.

Hi motor congrats on making it to mat leave! We must meet up once the plague has faded from our house. I think you will feel more calm once you've had a few days off and started ticking a few things off your list. And a lot of what we feel we have to do before babies arrive isn't really absolutely necessary, newborns don't require hardly anything. But I remember feeling a bit tetchy my first week off, I think it's normal given the big change ahead.

Have your birth preferences been agreed and written into your maternity notes? I thought that was the case? If do just forget about what anyone says, when the time comes they will follow your birth plan or else discuss it thoroughly with you during labour and get your consent! Hopefully you will go into spontaneous labour and it won't be necessary. But in the meantime try not to dwell on the what ifs, all that will really matter is what is the best option on the day. If it is any reassurance all of the staff I have met on the delivery unit at addenbrookes have been very sympathetic and respectful of my wishes so they should be the same with you.

God that is so frustrating motor. I'm not sure what to suggest other than requesting to see the consultant in charge.

fairy I was asked at my last midwife appt to come armed to the next appt with all birth preferences documented, which I duly did, but the midwife today did not ask for them or seem very interested when I mentioned it.
The Dr (specialist trainee) I saw after my growth scan last week has documented
"Stretch and sweep from 39/40. IoL on 17/03/14 with propess and prostin. Can decide not to have syntocin if she likes - discussed with consultant who agrees."
Maybe that is enough, but I don't feel confident!
On the positive side, I would agree with you that those staff I met on the delivery unit when I ended up there in the middle of the night a few weeks ago were all polite and professional and talked to me like a sensible adult with a brain and opinions.
Hopefully the plague will disappear from your house very soon, as will my elevated stress levels, and then we must meet up.

motor you should get a letter from the consultant setting out her advice and what you agreed in detail. If it is acceptable you could put that in your birth notes as well? If it isn't sufficiently clear re CS you could request a second appointment or try to get the consultant to agree to put it in writing over the telephone? I think though that if your notes say no syntocinon and you are in labour with no progression the only option would be a CS anyway?

shazza I am agog at your friend with the 3 year old boy. Jumping on the sofa or any furniture is verboten in this house and I would never ever let DS do that at someone else's house, nor would anyone else I know with an energetic boy! You must have been a bit shocked.

I was abit speechless Fairy! I wasn't quite sure what to do. Our cushions gradually slide off the sofa as well so he was dangerously close to coming a cropper and banging his head on the coffee table.

Motor I hope you can relax. You have time and as fairy said you don't really need to do anything for the baby. I would spend your days batch cooking and watching films in the afternoon. Also napping is good at this point. I agree re putting all the stuff in your birth plan. Strange that the MW asked you to do a plan then didn't look at it. Do you see a different one every time. I will say again though try not to worry. It all works out in the end on the day even though it is scary and seems so far away now. You will be fine. You are a yoni warrior

Hello to everyone else. How are you all doing today? Shazlett has not been eating well. She has got terrible wind poor little monkey and eats for a couple of mins before screaming. Luckily tonight she had a good feed from me earlier and a bottle from DH now. I can hear him putting her to bed now. I'm upstairs expressing.

Hope you are all ok. Night all.

What a lovely morning! Day 2 of mat leave, and plenty of cleaning, cooking and laundry to do..

shazza I hope Shazlett and you had a reasonable night. Her wind sounds so uncomfortable, so must be really distressing for you. I have never seen the same midwife twice, which is part of the problem I think.

Fairy the consultant didn't even see us, and the trainee didn't say anything conclusive to record unfortunately. I have decided that I am onto a losing battle, so will retreat and just go with the flow. The more I try to deal with this the more stressed I get, and I don't want to go into labour full of fear and anger. I will deal with whatever arises as it arises, and stop trying to control from afar.
How are you today? Better, I hope.

I have posted on the egg buddies site again, advertising this warm, cosy thread just waiting for a new clutch of pregnant IVFers to make it their own. I think there are about 6 of them. No takers yet though!

Can I ask for your expert yoni warrior opinions on 2 matters please? Firstly, I have bought a few bottles of formula just in case my baby can't feed from me and is starving. I intend to breastfeed exclusively, but am not so dedicated to it that I will go to hell and back to achieve it. I know the advice is not to give it as it will compromise their ability to bf, but have any of you managed to combine the two from the start/early on?
Secondly, slings.. Any recommendations? I need something which is relatively simple to do up as I am crap with complicated fastenings. I would like one I can wear around the house as well as outdoors.
Thanks ladies!

Lovely morning here too, it always cheers the spirits when it is sunny. I love these bright cold crisp days.

Shazza DTs are very windy babies, they often rattle the window panes in our house!!! not really but you get the drift. Fortunately it doesn't often cause them distress as they work in the "better out than in" principle. Hope Shazzlett is ok today.

Motor we FF from the start. We had those premade bottles that came with their own teat for night feeds (very expensive but so worth it in the dead of night) and the ready made cartons to put in our own sterile bottles for days. We use Aptamil as I was told it is the nearest to breast milk but who knows. I am sure you and MiniMotor will be fine whatever you do.
We have Baby Bjorn slings, they are easy to get on and off. But I have since found out they may not be very good for hip issues. Here are a few links for your info hip issues how the wear your baby

I need a rant as SIL is doing my head in. She is so controlling about the DTs. Anyone would think they were her babies not ours. DH is torn as he doesn't stand up to her and lets her walk over him. So she is coming to visit this morning because another cousin wanted to come to visit and she couldn't miss out. I had text her asking if she was coming and what was happening, she never replied but rang DH to tell him!!! Does my head in.

motor I hope you get treated better when you're actually in labour. I have always found ward staff to be a million times better than community or antenatal clinic staff. It's like they put the shit ones out of harms way. Same with HVs.

Anyway. Slings - I had a Mei Tai and that worked well for me until I ditched it at 14 weeks. Hips are very important, they must keep the 'm' shape. It's good to go to a sling library and hire one.

If you want to mix feed you are supposed to establish bf for 6 weeks first. That used to be the advice anyway. I would say it's easier to EBF anyway even if it's painful at first. Which hopefully it won't be!

shazza I would be seething at a visitor doing that. I am v tough on dd1 when we are visiting other people as hell really is other people's children.

sweetie I didn't know you could get premixed actual bottles. Ringlet is very fussy so won't drink premixed aptamil. Very annoying. (Like most of her foibles!)

motor I have a good wrap sling, like a Moby. gin had to mix feed at the start. if you want to bf I would try not to ff early on as the baby may think that's easier. esp before your milk comes in. the first few days are tough - lots of sucking to get the milk in, and can be painful. but stick with it and it's brilliant. we are here for advice!

sweetie your sil sounds annoying. dh should stand up to her

am in the chaotic throes of moving house. main day tomorrow. DM out with kip so I should hop to it

motor I hope the others come over, or at least found their own new group.

WELCOME to any lurkers x

Hi all

I'll de-lurk for today! I'm 32+2 and can't wait to go on maternity leave although I've got another 5 weeks. I've called in sick for the first time today - well semi-sick, am working, just not very much - after feeling like I was going to throw up last night which meant a bad night's sleep. And to be honest, I'd have been fine going in but have been hoping for an excuse to pull a sickie for ages!

when's your baby due Motor?
Is anyone else pregnant or have you all had your babies now?

Hi caip - not bad going to make it to 32 weeks without a sick day! Good to hear from you.
I'm booked in for induction on my due date 17th March, but hoping the baby may arrive before then in the hope I can do things a bit more naturally.
I do seem to be the only pregnant one left, so it would be great to have some pregnant company in my last few weeks (though the company of the yoni mummies is fantastic I have to say).
Were you on the egg buddies thread?

Thanks onion keep and sweetie for the tips on mixing ff and bf, and slings. I'm tempted by the Mei Tai ones, and I found some on the Daisy Baby shop for 20 quid which seems reasonable.

caip!! congratulations!! not long to go... we've had a few sporadic preggo posters but most have our babies now plenty to worry about post birth too.... x

Thanks keep! Good luck with the move

Motor - I hovered in and out of various IVF threads, got lucky in the summer using frozen blasts, seems so long ago!
Can I ask why you're booked in for an induction already? We just started NCT classes last week and so now I'm thinking about the birth for the first time, it's always seemed so far away.

Is anyone using cloth nappies? I've bought a couple to try after the first couple of weeks - they are so cute, small and fluffy! My mum thinks I'm mad but her experience and opinions are based solely on having used terry towelling ones on me 36 years ago.

Congrats on your success caip. It is policy in my area to discourage women over 40 going beyond due date, due to the increased risk of still birth. I obviously don't want my baby to be put at risk, so I am going along with it, but I think the practice is questionable and rather basic in terms of risk management. As a mental health nurse of nearly 20 years, risk assessment is something I'm very experienced in, and it is rather clinically lazy to base everything on one factor alone.

In terms of nappies, I am going for disposables for the first week or ten two until I have got the hang of things a bit.