Mum's-to-be

[jodee]

I hope no-one thinks this thread is too 'exclusive' or 'cliquey', but I can no longer join in with the weight loss thread, so I thought I would start this one up!

I wish I had had the benefit of the internet (and especially Mumsnet, of course!) first time around and felt pretty isolated after ds was born, so it's good to have some 'virtual' friends in the same boat now I'm expecting no 2.

It would be interesting as well to find out just how many of us are pregnant, there must be loads of us! and just to have a general chinwag.

Dixie, that confused me too, I thought it was just for October mums as well. I don't know if I have posted on this thread before, I can't see my name anywhere. Anyway I am due in June as well, 5th June, only four weeks to go and I wish it would just hurry up. Have you reached the fed up stage yet?

I just wanted to add my name to the mums-to-be. My due date is the 14th of May so I'm counting the days. This is my second pregnancy and now I've time on my hand I'm remembering all the things that happened first time time - I was induced and the labour was short - 6 hours - i managed with gas and air but it left me very woosy for a long time afterwards. I can remember it was very painful but I am hopeing this time that I am able to have an epidural - I've been watching the discovery channel and the ladies who had an epidural seemed to enjoy the birth experience. I feel that the gas and air disorientated me so much that i wasn't able to enjoy the moment and I was less able to look after my son. Has anyone had an epidural and when were you able to have one - do you have to wait until you are a certain number of cm's dialated or can you have it as soon as you want.Is there anyone else who has a similar due date and how are you feeling - at the moment I am both excited and apprehensive. Good luck to all the mums - to be.

Has anyone had this happen to them? I'm about 6 weeks pregnant, and this morning I'd been up about 10 mins, feeling absolutely fine, good nights sleep etc..., I reached up into the cupboard to get my vitamin pill and my eyes stopped seeing properly, palms tingling, then broke out into a really hot sweat and was covered in perspiration and had to sit down, felt terrible for about 10 mins, and then went back to bed for a few hours. Still feel really tired, but not like I'm going to keel over. I do have low blood pressure, and this has happened to me before (when not pregnant), but MUCH less severe. Tried to get a doctors appt, but they can't see me until Wednesday. What does anyone think?

Hi Paula 1, it may have been that you hadnt eaten enough the day before, they do advise to eat some cereal or similar before you go to bed to get you through the night which I try to do if I feel very tired at the end of the day. I am now 20 weeks so this stage really disappeared a few weeks ago but I am still carefull to eat enough.

When I went to my last midwife appointment dh came with me. When I said I was so tired, she explained it to my dh that if he was to come home from a days work, go straight out and build an extension with no rest or food that is how hard our body is working 24hours a day to make our little person. He now understands alot more the strains on your body while pregnant and often says you put your feet up darling, youre building an extension. He was always very good before cooking dinner etc but he now realises how exhausting it can be especially with a toddler.
Good luck, chat to your doctor or midwife though if you are really worried and it happens alot.

When you phoned to get an appointment did you tell the receptionist you are pg? They should see you the same day, even if you have to be tagged on to end of surgery. I would insist on being seen and get a check up. All the best.

Paula, firstly congratulations!

Are you under a lot of stress at the moment? What you have described sounds a bit like a mild panic attack which can occur if you are under stress, tired and haven't eaten. I would go and see your gp asap, not because its anything serious, but just to put your mind at rest.

In the meantime, try and relax, have a nice warm bath with lavender oil and get a bit of exercise if that's something you normally do.

ENID - Do you load via the topic or do you load just new messages since you last logged on? I used to take ages to load until I found the way to load just the new ones written since I last visited the site?

DEMENTED - I am actually due at the end of June but have been advised I won't go full term (various medical reasons) so they are talking about 12th June at the moment. (So I've 5 weeks to go!) I am extremely fed up with the pregnancy & very tired and in a way am glad I'm going to have the baby early but also scared in another way....Also it is my 2nd pegnancy so I'm finding the prospect of a newborn & Toddler very daunting!!

JINNA - I had an epidural with my 1st pregnancy & it was fine!! I didn't HAVE to be dialated but I recall I was 3 cms already without even knowing, I had just what I thought was very calm braxton hicks - didn't realise it was the start of labour at all, but once the midwife told me I was in labour she asked me had I thought about my pain relief, I explained from the outset I wanted an epidural and they said they would arrange it asap, however it was a Saturday & only 1 antheitist on for the whole hospital so it was a few hours before she got there so I had gas & air untiol she arrived. the staffing for a saturday was the only reason for my delay. It was a bit hairy when she came to put the thing in my back as I was regularly contracting every few mins but she assured me she had done it many a time 'between contractions' and she was really good, it took 20 mins to take effect & then sheer BLISS!!! When I was fully dialated & ready to push they 'turned it down a little' & I could feel a small sensation with each contraction so knew when to push. However due to my ds being wrong way round & arching his head back I had to be whisked away for an emergency c section anyway! But because my epidural was already in place it saved time, meant I was still awake for the birth & that my husband could also be present so it was just as well I had the epidural! Hope all goes well for you if you decide to have an epidural but maybe your labour was so painful because you were induced? Friends have said it's more painful if induced, but I personally wouldn't know.

PAULA1 - I was diagnosed with diabetes during my pregnancy & what you are describing is exactly what happens to me when my sugar levels drop too low!! I have to have a QUICK intake of sugar/glucose so I either have some lucozade, or chocolate to give me a quick 'top up' and then follow it with a small meal. I also have to eat little & often to keep my sugar levels balanced through the day. I'm not saying you've got diabetes but just maybe be aware of your need to eat more often & if this happens again have a quick sugar intake & see if it helps because even non-diabetic people can have sugar levels drops!

Generally from me, I'm feeling ok....just hoping to get the diy hubby started out the way before baby comes......(SOME HOPE!!)

Thanks everyone, I do think it was an eating thing, yesterday we had a big BBQ lunch at my mums where I ate a huge piece of salmon and salad and stuff, then didn't fancy anything last night. Today, since the 'incident' I have eaten: (Mr Greedy Style!) 2 weetabix, 3 slices of toast, packet of crisps, omlette, jam doughnut - and now feel much better!! I did tell the docs receptionist that I was pg, but she wanted to tie the appt in with my booking appt that she made for Weds, so I kind of guessed from that that it was not too serious. Never happened to me with my previous pg though, and then I was working long hours in the City.

Paula, glad you are feeling better. If you read further down you will see how much I was eating when I was about the same weeks as you, it was alot. I found I have been alot more tired this time round even though Im not working full time, probably having a toddler does it. I still have some bad days now even though Im not being sick and is usually if I havnt had enough to eat.

Hi Paula1 I'm about 7 weeks pg and feel like I've been eating non-stop today. I even had to pop into Tesco on the way home from work for a pasty. I don't remember feeling this hungry last time and I put on over 3.5 stone then!

When I wasn't too good last week and couldn't get a doc's appointment I did get to speak to the practice nurse, she was excellent.

Paula if that was a complete list of your intake today up untill the time you posted I don't think that is an awful lot of food for a pregnant lady to have consumed by teatime!
Are you sure you are eating enough in general?
(call me Auntie Jasper...)

Thanks Jasper, I finished the day off with a fish pie, green beans and asparagus. I am keeping an eye on what I'm eating. Today, I've been eating little and often and have felt much better all day.

That sounds more like it Paula.
And don't forget to drink

Would that be the Dom Perignon again Jasper!

Just thought I would have a bit of a rant about feeding bras, I think they were mentioned on Mums-to-Be 2 which I can't be bothered looking for. Just been to get fitted for my feeding bras in Jenners (Edinburgh, their fitting service is v good in there BTW). They had a choice of two, the one with the drop cup she said she would not even show me as it did not offer enough support (now a 34G I decided to trust her). I find no fault with the fitting (the reason I went to the store in the first place) and I am sure it probably is the bra for me but it aint half ugly!!! It is white with no detail on it at all, the straps are about 1 1/2 inches thick and it opens up for feeding with about four hook and eye fixtures in the middle, hardly an easy one handed job, when the bra is on there is hardly any of my top half left uncovered by it. Do the makers of nursing bras not realise that we are still women, not just milking machines! Anyway went with the bra as I decided the most important thing was the support. Then I said to the woman "I'll take two of those please" only to be told that the one I was wearing was the only one in stock, which upon a closer examination had burst stitching! She explained that they could be ordered and sent direct to me which is fine as that saves another trip. When filling in the order form I asked how long it would take, she said about 4 weeks, I'm due in 3 Aaaargh! On top of that I have had to pay an extra £1.50 (I know not a fortune but it is the principle) to have them sent to my house because they did not have sufficient stock!

Anyway rant over, sorry about that, just had to get it off my chest so to speak. I assume if I go into labour I will just have to cope using my maternity bra (which I only have one of so I hope it is clean and ready to wear on the day)!

How is everyone else doing?

Hi all, I'm having a bit of a down day today...sorry to laiden you all with it. I just feel so tired & so very isolated. I went to my last antenatal class last night - I wasn't going to bother with them as this is my 2nd child but as we've recently moved & I'm under a new health auth. thought I'd check they do the same sort of things, get tour of hospital & hopefully make some new friends due same time as me...how wrong I was. The 4 week 'course' was ok, pretty predicable but did pick up some new info, The women were really unfriendly but I tried and really thought I was making some headway, there's a group of 4 of us who have sat near each other each week. 1 of us was missing (gone into labour!) so that left 3 and i was sooo pushed out of the conversation. Even my hubby noticed it (he don't normally sense things like that at all so it must have been blatant!). As the class was drawing to a close the 1 woman who mainly did the 'snubbing' said to the other "it would be great to exchange numbers & hear how you're doing after" she said it right across me to the other lady but made it clear i wasn't included. As we left I wished them well and off we went...I was so hurt..I've been feeling low for a few weeks now and really struggling to be positive . I'm so alone since we moved, I've tried all sorts of places to try & make new friends but the pregnancy is wearing me out so I really thought these antenatal classes would help, my last chance as it were & it's gone so wrong. Even old friends from where I used to live seem to have progressively 'dropped' me. I'm trying to be positive but today I'm finding it hard.....I'm hoping it's all just down to hormones

Oh Dixie pecker up. My classes were like that, didnt make a single friend or stayed in touch, shame really. I had only recently moved back to this area so had really lost contact with all my old friends. I have started to meet people, first I joined a massage class, they were all really friendly, all babies about the same age and we still see each other at different toddler groups, with one in particular I phone now and again for a chat. I expected everyone to be alot friendlier but Ive met some nice mums now. There is lots for you to do when the baby is born and lots of nicer people. Even mums at the pool are friendly. Good luck, you just met some miserable people.

Poor you, Dixie. That snotty woman sounds like she's not worth knowing if she's like that, but it must be very hard for you. Have you found out from your health visitor whether there are any post-natal classes that you could go to once you've had your baby? The ones I went to were very good - not really so much for the information, but more for the company. I think that once people have got their babies with them they may be more inclined to socialise.
What area of the country are you in, if you don't mind me asking? Perhaps some other Mumsnetters may know of some good groups in your area.

Dixie, tons of sympathy to you. So sorry you're having such an unpleasant time. Women can be so unpleasant can't they ! How old is your other child ? Can you try any local music or mother and toddler groups ?
What about looking for other groups in the area - how about baby clinic, you may meet some people there.

Cheer up Dixie - hope you have an ok day and don't feel too depressed. xx Why don't you go to the get together on Sat to cheer you u?

Hope it is the hormones Dixie. I remember being in tears at the midwife feeling really isolated. The girls at the NHS parent classes were all a bit stilted and/or not interested in befriending.

However things were really good at the post natal classes. Once you have your new baby your priorities change again and you have birth and feeding stories that you are dying to exchange. Go prepared and get 2 phone numbers the first time you go and 2 more if you go again etc. They will be really impressed to meet someone with their second child with all that experience!

Dixie sorry to hear about the classes. If it makes you feel any better they were a pretty unfriendly bunch when I went to the classes when pregnant with DS. I haven't even bothered this time round. This time have met one or two nice girls at Aquanatal classes and last time made some friends at the local breastfeeding group. I know it's depressing now especially if you are really feeling the need of some company but keep your eye out now for local groups that you could attend once the baby is born. Even your local leisure centre, ours has a really good creche where you can leave the kids for an hour or so and go and blast off the blues at the gym, pool or aerobics class. I found that when I started doing this with DS I met lots of mums in the same situation. As everyone else says it is probably just hormones, I am very much with you there just now, some days I question what I am even doing having another one!

Dixie, there's always at least one who asserts herself by homing in on one or two others and pointedly excluding the rest - horrible when it happens, isn't it...and if my MiL is anything to go by there are some funny souls in N Kent at the best of times
Keep pegging away with the other groups you found, I hope they are friendlier. And can you possibly make the trip up to London on Saturday? There will be any number of perfectly presentable mums who have been shunned at other groups!
Take care.

hi everyone

Dixie - hope you're feeling more cheerful now. I hate it when things like you described happen - it's like being 9 again, and "left out" by someone in the playground.

I'm 35 weeks now and finishing work this Friday.That is such a nice prospect.
Sleeping is getting more of a challenge - I need so many pillows etc that three's no room for DH, so one of us usually ends up in the spare room. I know it's only temporary, but I hate it, as it feels like we've had an argument!

DD has well and truly grasped the concept of a baby being in mummy's tummy. I hope she's as keen on the baby when he/she arrives...

Demented - must go and sort out nursing bras as well. I too have been depressed by the enormous straps and general ugliness of the ones I've seen. I remember going to M&S when I stopped breastfeeding DD and buying some lovely new underwear - must hold onto that memory!

Thanks ladies! (KNOW I CAN RELY ON MY VIRTUAL FRIENDS!!)

I've perked up a bit but it's just so difficult - I'm not exaggerating when I say there is NOTHING round here for mother & toddler! Believe me I have tried every avenue you can think of! I have found further a field 3 small groups which I try to attend but with the complications in my pregnancy it has been very difficult to keep them up as they start so early and getting myself sorted & ds has been a nightmare the last few months, its severly wearing me out, some days I'm not even well enough to drive. I also had to stop ds swimming classes at end of last term so have lost the contacts I had there and really don't know if I'll be able to start it back up when I have the newborn!! Hubby & I had such hopes when we moved out this way, we wrongly assumed child facilities would be as good as our old area. I really regret the move but am trying to make good a bad situation..do you know there aren't even ANY NURSERIES!! So another dilemma I am worrying about for ds. We can't afford private as much as we so would like to...I did post my nursery concerns to the Ask the expert but never got a reply.

Can't make Sat meet up..as much as i'd love to as I work w/ends (mat leave starts in 2 weeks!!)

this all sounds so negative - but honestly i'm feeling a bit better after all your friendly comments!

Dixie, not sure where you are exactly but there is a nice new nursery opened up in Longfield, one which I have to say looks a bit less nice down in Green St Green, and according to the daft freebie magazine that comes through our door (I will read ANYTHING), a really great-sounding nursery is opening up in Darenth soon. I totally agree about these facilities being few and far between in what is actually quite a densely populated area. I would also be surprised if New Ash Green didn't have some facilities, as when it was built in the 70s it was meant to appeal to families. Sorry you have been feeling so poorly and glad to hear you are more cheerful today.

It's so hard getting to know a new area, isn't it? And heavy pregnancy + toddler ain't exactly a picnic at the best of times either, I'd fathom, not to mention all the pregnancy related worries you've been through. I do hope things feel better soon, Dixie. Meanwhile, ignore these poisonous scumbags! Nicer people will emerge as you get to know the area a bit better, I'm sure.
And maybe something will come up on the nursery front... (says she, weakly optimistic on the basis of no solid evidence) Sounds like it would be worth following up Marina's suggestions. How old is ds? Even private nurseries may offer a free p/t nursery place to 3yr olds as part of the local authority grant scheme. And if you're working/planning on returning to work would you qualify for WFTC towards a private nursery place?

Take care of yourself, Dix.