Pregnant (IVF) Worriers/Warriors Part 4

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

Hi everyone
Onion the play date sounds like a nightmare. Are these things compulsory? If the child in question is not nice to dd1 then can you make an excuse? Heehee to wine in bed. If anyone deserves a break its you.

Keep welcome to mat leave. Hurrah! How was your last day? Did you get presents and tea and cake?

Motor I don't formally monitor shazlett. I'm not sure if there is a pattern to the movements either. Some days s/he is very active and is quieter on others. Yesterday she was doing really funny sideways stretching movements. My belly was like alien. I love feeling the kicks and so does DP. He asks me all the time if the baby is awake.

Crisps poor you with lack of sleep. How does one sleep train a toddler? I wish I'd see the West vs Winston face off. I must admit to reading the ZW IVF fertility book and I saw a brilliant nutritionist at her clinic. She can't be that against medical intervention though cause they also offer full IVF treatment. Apparently not with great results yet though.

Gin and dildals I'm up for meeting on Friday. If I'm still getting around by then. Dildals would you prefer us to come to dulwich again or can you travel with Bella?

I got a call from a 'friend' today. Tbh I haven't spoken to her in about a year since she told me she got instadiffed. Someone must've told her I am preggers. Anyway, unsolicited she told me about her 3 day labour, 5 sweeps, induction, 3 hour pushing. Scoffed at my home birth plans saying that it is highly unlikely that ill get through it without transferring. Then went on to say how awful the first weeks are, how I have no idea about what is about to hit me. And rounded up the call by saying dont worry if you don't love the baby immediately, It takes 6 weeks to get to know the baby. At the end I wanted to ask her why exactly she had felt the need to contact me after all this time? I hate these kind of conversations. I really don't see the point. What did she hope to achieve by making me feel rubbish?

Anyway on a better note we partially filled the pool so we know that everything works fine.

I'm out in the bright lights of Brixton tonight with a lovely friend who is nice to me. Have a good weekend everyone. Xx

Toddler sleep training = sticker charts bribery and firmeness threats. She'll get there eventually, it is good training for the gruesome twosome!

onion some of DDs acquaintences from nursery are horrid too, we avoid them. All my good friends' kids have their moments as DD does, but are generally lovely. don't feel bad for making excuses and enjoy the vino!

shazza your 'old friend' sounds like a total dick. I can't stand people who tell you how hard it is to have children, knobs. Yes , there are the shitty days but in general it is fucking awesome, which is why we spend so many years and pounds trying to make it happen. Sounds like she may have had a touch of pnd though, which earns her my sympathy if it is the case. I adored DD from the outset but I didsometimes feel that she didnt like me, which could be tough, but to be fair I dont think many of us have oodles of rationality and positivity when we are sleep deprived!

at buzz just squashing her.

On way back from pub, bad idea as nowhere to sit, too noisy and hot. Not sure if kip loved or loathed the loud music, but I've been kicked in the ribs a lot. Have left dh to enjoy, and going home to the cat :)

Just squashing her is exactly what I used to do. Beware!

It's complicated and too identifying as to why I must remain involved with this child but I do. She's been through a lot though and it's not her fault she is the way she is but still, gah!

shazza she is not your friend. What an absolute arse, and what Buzzy said about not enjoying things herself so trying to bring everybody else down too. I'd definitely send her a gushing email in a few months saying how much you're enjoying it.

I've done the have some wine and don't respond trick so have had some sleep tonight. Why must alcohol be the answer?!

keep respect on even trying to go out but that sounds like no fun. Hope you snuggled up with the cat!

onion I am starting to suspect that children are an invention of the alcohol industry, just like the greeting card industry created Mothers Day and Coca Cola created Santa Claus.

.. We had our first 'crying for no obvious reason, well, mainly gas' evening at the Dildals household .. DH: why is she crying? Me: I dunno. DH: have you fed her enough? Me: no, I deliberately deprive her of food ... OFCOURSE I have fed her enough! DH: I am sleeping upstairs.

DH returned to the marital bed soon after that, saying it felt unfair to leave me with perma-cry. Damn right buster.

Now I've only just woken up with her on my chest. Oops. Had a nice long stretch of sleep though!

Oh and Shazz you're 'friend' is still a bit of an idiot!

Morning all

I'm on my way to a prebirth haircut. After shazlett has come out singing 'there's no business like show business' (this joke was on Facebook so sorry for those not on there) her next words will be 'lovely hair mummy'.

Question about chest sleeping. Are you sitting up or laying down? And are you worried about dropping the baby? Sorry if a stupid question.

Dildals I hope Bells calmed down eventually I'm glad the DH shared the responsibility for the episode. Love your theory re invention of children

Onion how was the rest of your night?

Keep I hope you are enjoying a lie in this morning. I understand coming home from the pub. Especially if you were standing. There's no way I could stand in a pub now. I had a lovely couple of hours with my friend the was home by 10. Perfect!

Crisps It must be so hard to think that your baby doesn't like you. In the what mothers do book she talks about how babies feel that they can be themselves with the mums and therefore it often seems like they are 'good' and don't cry with others then let go when back with their mums. It is emotionally hard on the mother but the baby is feeling her unconditional love. Hope you had a better night/morning.

Buzz thanks for the supportive words (thanks everyone). Your Nct sounds fun. A 5 hour session is a marathon. How many sessions do you have in total?

Beautiful pic of our Gin on Fb. You have inspired me to try to get at least one nice photo of me preggers before its all over. I've been taking pics of myself but nothing very nice.

Hello to everyone else.

Have a good day xxx

Rest of night sucked. Literally.

Dildals I fear you're right, it's genuinely the only time I get any sleep. Also love the DH 'why is she crying?' I get that and say 'oh it's because she's wallowing in her own filth I DONT FUCKING KNOW, IF I KNEW WOULDN'T I BE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT?!' Mine is still in the spare room, no solidarity here!

Get some stylish photos taken shazz. With chest sleeping I am neither sitting nor lying but slumped in between propped up a bit on pillows. Sometimes the baby rolls but you seem to wake beforehand. Strategically placed pillows can limit it though.

So quiet here with DH visiting relatives, DD1 out for the day with her cousins. Me and Ringlet are on the bed with her sleeping and me enjoying the peace.

shaz Bee sleeps on my chest lying down. She doesn't roll off because she's propped up between the Milk Mountains. She does roll off DH's chest and I do occasionally find her (and him) upside down, head on mattress, legs up in the air, blisfully asleep. Maybe she's a batbaby.

onion I don't squash her alot, just on the odd occassion to make sure she is alright, she is very aware of her personal space. Its amazing what booze can help with, I hope you get some rest

dildals and at the 'why is crying' I worry too much that Barry and I would squash the baby or roll over and she would fall out,

can I ask those that have babies, does your partner get disturbed alot in the night ?? I am just thinking about Barry having to get up and go to work, not like we have a spare bed or room anyway

shazza I am sure shazzlet will be impressed with your barnet, I've booked in for my xmas touch up, still have to book in for my pre birth touch up and deforesting, yes to preggo photos, stuff your so called friend and her crap attitude, she sounds a bit like my sister, abit doom and gloom and slighty jealous

keep well done on going out, we're out next Saturday for Barrys birthday

well NCT was ace, they really are a nice group and the tutor is good, she emails a recap of the session about an hour after the class, the good thing is they will have their babies before me at the same place that I will so I can glean them for info

Thank goodness Barry is now back as the cat is having tantrum as she wants her treats early. . .

buzzy In the beginning I was worried about squashing Bella but I do think I have a sixth sense to not roll over. There is a risk of her overheating though, with the duvet over her.

DH gets 'disturbed' at about midnight, 3 am and 6 am generally. This is not too bad if all goes smoothly, but regularly there is some swearing and crying when I try and latch her on. Some crying (from her) when I change Madam's nappy. On top of that babies are really noisy. They screech, grunt and my god do they fart. Or maybe that's just her. So overall it is hard for him to go to work in the morning, it is tiring and currently he's snoring on the sofa (with B on his chest :-) ) and we're on our way to bed (nine o'clock and strictly is finished, so why stay up, to be fair we were up after the 6.30 feed and at the supermarket for our big shop ridiculously early. MrsHY I will be seeing you there in a couple of weeks with zombie eyes ;). DH does do the odd night in the guest bedroom (with the ipad, I wonder why he takes that ... ?) but apart from that he is taking one for the team and gets stuck in to providing the mental (snoring) support.

fairy I have been reading the New Statesman to Bella to relieve her trapped wind and it is working a treat (I skipped the Brand edition though - I don't want her to get any revolutionary ideas). Who needs Ewan the Dreamsheep when you have opinion magazines. I have a work subscription on the FT. We may diversify in to the FT comment section for bedtime stories, she'll be talking quantative easing before this little piggy ran all the way home. :-)

Shazza I wouldn't say the person who called you was a friend. Try not to worry about all the negative comments, no one can say how you will be. You have done all the preparation and I am sure Shazlette knows what to do.
I went for my hair doing yesterday too but booking the next appointment was difficult. I usually hair done every 6 weeks but this would take me to 37.5 weeks when twins are due to be forcibly removed so I have plumped for the week before at 36 weeks. Of course it can be changed if needs be but it brought it home how close to the imminent arrival I am now. Bet your hair is looking lovely, glossy and radiant.

Dildals it always makes me laugh when you talk about Bellas emissions. Hope Bella is more settled now.

Buzzy glad you enjoyed the NCT and the group was nice.

onions did you enjoy your day of peace and quiet? How is the night feeding going?

I have twins clinic tomorrow for growth scan and am sure they will be 4lb each now. The kicking is different now but I am sure that is because of the lack of space. Will let you all know tomorrow.

Pangolina seems to be on the same schedule as Bella, she wakes around midnight, 3 and 6, although sometimes she goes for 4 hrs rather than 3. DH pretty well sleeps through the first and is usually ready to get up when the last comes round (we have both become hilariously early risers and early bedders. Like dildals said, why stay up past 9?) the 3am feed is trickier bc she wakes up quite a bit and doesn't want to go to bed so I often get him to try to settle her down. And we have the exact same conversations as onion and dildals, or sometimes he will bounce her for about one minute and then say "I think she's hungry". No, she's not hungry I've just been feeding her for 45 min!

Hope the clinic goes well, sweetie.

buzzy my DH does wake a lot with all our faffing about so he often sleeps in the spare room. He's very sensitive to noise at night though as he's a bit pathetic.

Ah it's exhausting isn't it but they do get there eventually. Bella sounds like a spectacularly farty baby! Ringlet does fart quite a lot in the night but her speciality is massive belches. Hilarious. She's now feeding two hourly until 2 and then hourly afterwards, which is a slight improvement. I go to bed at 7 and get my scant sleeping done before 2. Bloody inset day today so still no school. I'm at the bribery stage now.

Hope everyone has a good day.

madness do you have your scan this week? Good luck for it!!

Well, I am having a spectacularly lazy morning for my first of mat leave :) Trying to make the most of it.

thank you onion dildals and fairy It helps to have an idea, we won't know until it happens, but I think I'd prefer Barry to be less tired, he gets tetchy when he is, plus I need him to feed me and do things like that so best he isn't too tired, my other concern was him having a long commute to work and driving while tired.

onion if you were not so far away I would come and help, although I have no idea what to do with a baby

niknoks I hope you are ok I have visions of you lost in your wild yoni with David Bellamy looking for you

keep enjoy your mat leave, not long to go :)

shazza how are you keeping, so close now :)

I have had my GD test done, not too worried about it, I am starting to feel more and more human like so I suppose I should go back to work now

Hello Ladies

I've tagged along with DP to the studio today as I didn't want to be in the flat on my own. It is a beautiful day. He is painting and I'm planning on catching up with Downton whilst crocheting. Lovely.

Dildals and Onion, thanks for the tips re chest sleeping. So cute about Bella being asleep with DH. Onion what are we going to do about Ringlet's sleep/feeding? Any joy on the other thread?

Dildals our MW said that if the baby is in the bed with you then she should lie between you and DH but above the duvet with her own blanket/sleeping bag. It is good that DH is being supportive throughout the night. MrS does not do well on little sleep so that is a potential bone of contention if he leaves me to it. We might have to nap in shifts during the day if I'm able to leave Shazlett for more than a few minutes . I'm loving the highbrow bedtime reading. DP is now asking if we should have been playing Mozart to Shazlett throughout the pregnancy. In our house Art Review will be the chosen story book.

Buzzy, my brother says (sheepishly) that he sleeps through all the night waking despite DN2 being in their room. I don't think that SIL from hell is too impressed by this though! I'm so pleased you are enjoying NCT. that is really great.

Sweetie I'm loving my new hair. I've had it cut pretty short. I gave my hairdresser quite a brief. I wanted something funky (I often have asymmetric styles), not mumsy but that didn't need much upkeep. I also usually time my cuts before Christmas but this year I doubt I'll get there before Christmas so I was also unsure about when to book the next appointment. I've made it for January with a view to swapping it if necessary. I hope that your growth scan was ok. How are you feeling?

Keep I hope you are enjoying your first day of mat leave. Definitely make the most of it. I can't believe that Shazlett could come any day now although I've got a feeling that I've got about another 10-12 days. Of course I've no idea really, I'm just having a little sweepstake with myself!

I hope that everyone else is ok and had a good weekend. The MW came to Chez Shaz on Saturday. All fine. The bump measures ok, still 2/5ths palpable and the HB was 145, so slightly faster than last time. But she had done quite a lot of poking around as she had a student with her and was demonstrating examining my belly so that might account for the increase.

have a good day all. xx

Hello Buzz
we cross posted. Glad you are feeling better. Fingers crossed for the GD results. xx

Just back from mw. Kip has started to engage, 4/5 palpable. Still on the 90th percentile, so pretty big, though she told me big babies are easier to deliver as they help out... she also went on for a while on the benefits of pethidine after I said I didnt want it...

shaz that sounds like a lovely day for you and dh! V jealous, no way could I or would I follow dh to work

buzz fab news you're feeling better. I had a panic the other day that I don't know a thing about babies...

I think dh might go to sleep with me, but move after the first night feed once he's back at work.

Think I'll book a haircut for next week. We will be the yummy mummies :) hmmmmm

keep interesting about the pethidine, at my NCT class we discussed pain control etc and the tutor said that the NCT were contacted by the MW's and asked not to put such a bad spin on it, MW's seem very keen on pethidine. I was tempted to say that I'm not having a baby for the fecking MWs but its not a sweary group I only know which way up a baby goes

shazz it is a lovely day, I feel so much better, also having Barry around helps a great deal with my mood too, I became quite iolated when I was really ill. I like the idea of Barry not being tired and mardy, I also like the idea of him coming home cooking my dinner then me handing the baby over and going for a nap How is your crocheting coming along, I have nearly finished my blanket, youtube has taught me ho to put a nice little edge on it, now for all my other projects

we will need photos of new barnets soon :)

Yes I know buzz she asked me if I'd been put off it by NCT as they are negative about it. I said no, they'd actually been quite balanced but I'd done my own reading and would rather my baby didn't get opiates if I can avoid it... Tbh I felt like telling her to fuck off, but just nodded along and will ignore.

Great news about Kip Keep. Shazlett went from 4/5ths palpable to 2/5ths in a week or so so Kip is definitely on his way down. Hurrah.

Buzzy not feeling well and Barry being away was bound to affect your mood. I'd be low if DP was away without being ill as well. I think you have coped so well. I'm not sure I would have if I had been in your position. I'm so glad you are feeling more positive and I hope you can enjoy this magical time with minibee safely growing in your belly . Xx

Oh and re crochet I've finished a cardy and rattle and am now trying to finish a big blanket that I started ages ago. It was supposed to keep me and shazlett warm through those night feeds but I'm not sure ill finish in time. I've got about 50 flower shapes and I need about 200 before I see them together!

Hello all! I'm v impressed at all the crafting shazz and buzz. I'm rubbish at knitting type stuff, but my mum is going great guns and has knitted three cardis, several hats and a blanket for Ginster already! It's great as baby cardis are quite a few ££s, but the wool is pretty cheap to buy as they require so little.

buzz so pleased to hear you are feeling better and that Barry is about to help look after you. I agree with shazz that you have done so well to manage. I find I really need Mr G at the mo, not least to make me dinner!

keep hurrah for first day of mat leave and Kip behaving as he should. Blimey, 90th percentile? Is that just based on bump measurement? Our nct teacher accidentally made pethidine sound ace! Wonder why MWs are so in favour? Maybe cos it shuts us up when we're in labour! I know a couple of London hospitals now don't use it....

shazz hope you had a lovely day of crocheting and Downtoning. Lovely to be able to keep Mr S company in the studio. I'd quite fancy hanging out at DH's new work, but wouldn't have the security clearance Sounds like shazzlet is doing excellently and is well engaged.

Once he's back at work, I'm pretty sure Mr G will be sleeping in the spare room. However our house is tiny, so am sure the ginster will still keep him (and our neighbours) awake! Is anyone else in a terrace/flat? Our walls are paper thin and I do worry a bit about the baby disturbing the neighbours. Ah well, better than the swearing and shouting we hear from next door!

Haha at ringlett and bella's fartiness. Mind you, I'm terrible at the mo. Am giving DH a run for his money. We'll be able to have family competitions once Ginster turns up.

onion hope the day went ok. I still don't know how you are managing to get through the days!

sweetie hope the scan was ok.

Have been feeling a bit meh. Think it's to do with lack of sleep and constant indigestion. Stupid preggo insomnia. Am v excited about starting mat leave and no longer having to drag myself into work, but a bit worried about the huge life style change and feeling isolated (apart from you lovely ladies of course). Am sure I'll quickly get used to it and have some nice things like a hair appointment (yep me too!), booked for the first few weeks of mat leave. I really can't wait to meet the Ginster now and to hear about all the other babies arriving :)