Pregnant (IVF) Worriers/Warriors Part 4

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

Brilliant news motor, made up for you. It's a huge milestone.

gin the ribs thing sounds normal, Bodysilk is your friend as it will stretch and then shrink back with you after the birth.

Well done on the crochet crisps, I want to try that after I've improved my knitting. That stitch like pain sounds familiar, I think it's muscular. Does it ease off when you lie on your side? Get it checked if worried of course.

I've tried slow, fast and now variflow teats. She hates them all, but but but last night she slept until 1am and then only fed two hourly so 3 and 5. I feel like a different person. She woke me at 1am by grabbing my ponytail with both hands and pulling with her feet braced against my back. Little horror. Now whether this is a one off or a change who knows?

hi all - I've posted a couple of photos of Pangolina on my profile (at least i think I have!)

motor yay! That's great news on the scan! what a nice early birthday present, definitely a treat rather than a trick!

onion it's a funny image of Ringlet grabbing your ponytail and bracing her feet on your back but I understand why it probably didn't feel that way at 1am.

sorry for not name checking most of you but Pangolina is just not settling this morning. I fear that the sleepy early phase is now ending...

fairy can you pm me her name? Also I don't think your profile is public, I can't click on it?

Hi Keep - the profile should be public now! I've sent her name to you too.

Oh she's just so beautiful!!

Fairy I love the yawning photo too, so many congratulations she is so lovely

Crisps I have had a really bad stitch a few times that has literally taken my breath away and I have had to sit on a wall. Both times it has happened when walking up a steep hill too quickly. It was a really sharp pain under right hand side of my bump up to about mid way. Not sure if this is what you describe as mine subsided after about 10 minutes each time. If you are worried it is worth giving MW a call.

Re the stitches - is that not just bump muscles expanding?

fairy the yawning photo is classic! :-)

That's the biggest yawn ever and she's so thoughtful in the other one (what do babies think about?) She's lovely though and a lovely name.

Hello Ladies

Fairy, Pangolina is absolutely gorgeous. Congratulations! Beautiful name as well .

Dildals I love the solution to Onion and Ringlett's sleeping problem. And Bella has excellent taste in music. She is extremely cute despite the projectile vomiting and smelly farts! I really hope that everything goes to plan and we do manage to get Shazelett out safely (and reasonably painlessly) at home in the pimped up pool.

Onion I totally understand about the aftershave on Ringlett. I was just reading in the What Mothers Do book about a mother who felt stressed when her MIL held her baby because she wore really strong perfume. Ringlett is definitely keen on your hair. she knows how to get your attention!

Ceara What book have you been reading? I agree that the books make it sound so easy. The reality is that we are dealing with a real human being with ideas and emotions of their own. Glad your appt went well. Hurrah for a perfect sized bump.

Motor Glad the scan went well. Such a major hurdle surpassed and well done for keeping the secret. I understand why some choose to find out, I think that it would help with imagining and bonding with the baby but I'm still glad I didn't find out. Have a lovely birthday.

Gin The NCT group might surprise us. As Keep said, maybe after the babies are here we will all meet up. However we can certainly get together. Good idea to check out Bumps and Babies. I think that it is at the Waterfront. Our MW also suggested checking out the Milkspots before the baby arrives. Apparently they are trying to encourage more pregnant women to go pre birth to try to prepare them better for breastfeeding. Shazlett could well be here by the time you are on mat leave so if you decide to go, I could be coming along with an actual baby! Good plan re the housework. It will be much more fun working together. Luckily I've only got a little flat! Stick with the body silks. The lady in John Lewis told me that after birth my ribcage would get smaller so if you can stick it out it's probably not worth buying anything other than a body silk. Fingers crossed that the Ginster is doing a Kylie (Spinning Around!).

Crisps My brother told me that he has bought DN1 a clock with stars and sun or something like that and apparently it is supposed to help her learn when to sleep and when to get up because they also have the same problem as you. I'm not sure what it is but I can find out for you. Have you had any more pains today? I hope that things have settled down. The only strange pains that I had that weren't braxton hicks were ages ago and I think were trapped wind. It was jolly painful though. Well done for the crochet. Thats brilliant. My first blanket for Shazlett is made of granny squares. You can make loads of things with them. I love crochet. I finished a cardy for Shazlett today.

Keep, I know what you mean about prioritising what to spend money on. I met a friend today whose baby is 4 months. She said that I should definitely rest now and her advice is to spend most of the first 2 weeks in bed once the baby is here. Even if I don't do that, I definitely won't be cleaning the bath in that time!

I hope that everyone else is ok.

I've had a very quiet day. I had reflexology today and she has started to work on points that will get things going. Shazlett has definitely been busy over the last couple of days with moving, stretching and pressing down. We shall see if s/he comes out in the next 2-4 weeks.

Time for bed now. Sleep well all. I hope that all babies behave themselves and sleep for hours and those still preggers manage to have comfy nights.

shazz I agree on spending a lot of time in bed. Even after the sneeziest of births (which you will have) you'll be tired. It's really nice to laze about and recover, stare adoringly at the baby and have everything brought to you. MWs want you up and at the shops the next day, but I disagree. That's what DP and parents etc are for.

Ringlet has reverted back to every hour again. What is WRONG with her?! She's fast asleep next to me with a look of total milk saturation on her lovely little face. Now if it were 7pm that would be great. I've got another lunch play date today and family all weekend. I'm tooooo tired. Argh.

Hope everyone else has a good day.

fairy I was wondering, that yawn, was that because you were reading the New Statesman to her?

onion so sorry about the sleep deprivation and your gorgeous baby's insatiable appetite. No words of wisdom from me I'm afraid, but I hope it gets to a more manageable pace soon.

shazza it is getting excitingly close to labour day for you! Keep comfortable and rested as much as you can.

Congrats on two boy babies beetle - that must make it all the more real, knowing the sex. How is the spotting?

Hi to sweetie gin expat foodie noks and madness

Thanks buzzy for the roll call.

Can't wait to meet pangolina on Saturday fairy. I was heartened by your loss of a stone within a couple of weeks of birth. I have got over my panic and dismay at weight gain and just put all the clothes that don't fit me out of sight. I'm off to town today to see if I can find a dress to go out in tonight but don't fancy my chances - Cambridge seems to have very few maternity clothes!

Last day of work keep - wonderful! I keep looking at my mat leave plan and it can't come soon enough. Not that it's difficult at this point, Im just excited by the prospect of not working for a year! I plan to go off 4 weeks before due date, same as you - does it feel like the right time?

Have your pains subsided crisps? I hope so. If not, definitely call the midwife. I had to call them and eat humble pie over my CMV panic and tell them that I actually do have the relevant antibodies, and sorry for wasting their time!

Great news on you mw appt ceara - the reassurance that all is well is always so welcome.

dildals you and Bella enjoying Aretha Franklyn is a lovely image - I've got a big smile on my face!

As for me, insomnia is getting to me. My mum bought me a sleep genie pillow, but so far I have wrestled with it more than sleep with it. minimotor is kicking hard enough for DH to feel, which is delightful. My birthday today - I may be the most ancient Warrior at 42- but being pregnant is the best birthday present ever. I feel so overwhelmingly grateful and blessed. The satnav from DH was good too..

Happy birthday motor! A sat nav and a good 20 week scan... :)

I think this is the right time for me to stop, mainly because of the commute. An easy commute or all day home working and another week would be fine. It's difficult as I want time to rest and prepare, but it could be another 6 weeks nearly, in which case I'm sure I'll be bored. I guess if you are taking a full year there's no harm to stopping a bit early, but if you had v limited time I guess I would work longer. Also, you just don't know how you'll feel.

onion ringlett is scaring me....... I have no useful thing to say other than make dh do everything at the weekend, including weaning her, so you can sleep, you poor thing.

Right, am off to finish work! :)

Have a great day keep - hopefully it will be all cake and early finish.

Forgot to ask of all you Warriors.. How many of you have monitored foetal movement in the last trimester, and which way of monitoring worked best for you? I am keen to monitor, but scared in case I set myself up for increased anxiety. I am hoping that with late growth scan at 35 weeks and good movement monitoring they may be more willing not to induce me early if all is well. I know I am getting ahead of myself, but premature/unnecessary induction is the thing I am most anxious about in terms of labour and birth.

Yay for minimitor kicking motor, DH loves it when he can see/feel the ladies moving (although secretly I want to tell him to gerroff because I am a grumpy irritable cow at the moment).

No more pains since the other day, very odd, think it myst have been muscular, just very intense. Sometimes they seem to head in different directions which van be quite painful.

Dd1 was up at 4.20 again this morning despite our best efforts last night- she had a huge meal (homemade sweet and sour chicken with rice, one of her faves, she is vair vair sophisticated dontcha know!), lateish night, clean pjs and a nice warm room. Ugh. We have one of those clocks shazza whigh might be of more use if she wasn't so infuriatingly demanding independently willed 'I know it says it is night time, but I am awake mummy!'. This morning she decided she wanted to paint however and cried when we refused! She is staying at the pils tomorrow as DH is on call (and I'm too scared of going into labour and being stuck on my own with her - we dont have family very close) so we will get some rest then.

Pangolina is totally beautiful! Am curious about her name though, can someone pm me?!

shazza can't believe you are so close....there is about to be a huge influx of babies shortly, where did the time go.

keep welcome to staying at home! It took me a while to get used to it and I still miss work but it is good to rest. I fully recommend this ,orning, come dine with me and maize and geordie shore of course

I downloaded the gina ford book today. We had it with dd and i found it so infuriating that I actually threw it out of the window (DH had to retrieve it from the neighbours' garden ) but I did find the routines useful to compare what dd was doing at certain ages, i.e. roughly when they shoud drop their afternoon/morning nap so thought I would refresh my memory. However the rage is back...dont cuddle your baby when they are sleeping, dont make eye contact before bedtime, blah fucking blah. Babies do what they sodding well want, grr, stupid cow. Apologies if anyone is a gina devotee, just not for me! Mind you, I'm sure I will really enjoy it when at eight weeks the twins start sleeping for a continuous twelve hours each night as well as almost three hours in the middle of the day. NOT.

Please excuse the lack of apostrophes and capital letters...after fuck all sleep I cant be arsed...

Happy birthday motor! Don't worry you are not the oldest warrior, at 43 I think that crown goes to me. But like you being preggers for my birthday this year made it all ok. good luck with the mat clothes shopping. Is there a jojo maman bebe in Cambridge? I found them useful. New look have some things as do debenhams. Other shops tend to do online stuff. Even M&S Oxford street didn't have mat clothes in store. Best to put the other clothes away. It makes getting ready easier and it will be nice to get them out after minimotor is here

Keep have a brilliant day. So exciting. I keep forgetting that I don't just have to go to work but I'm actually having a baby!

Onion I agree that if you concentrate on ringlet then maybe someone else can deal with the other stuff. You simply can't keep going on no sleep. Can you move the play date?

I've just had a go at John Lewis customer service who failed to deliver our carseat within their 7 hour time slot yesterday. I pulled all the pregnancy punches I could and am now waiting for someone to call me back. Grrrr!

dildals Of course I am reading Pangolina the New Statesman on a weekly basis. I may add in the Spectator when she's on to solids so she has the full political spectrum. How else will she get that place to read PPE at Oxford?

motor there is a jojomaman bebe in Rose Crescent although they don't have many clothes. Gap used to have mat clothes but now they've gone all online, irritatingly. New Look has the most I think but it is a little, ahem, youthful! Happy Birthday! Will be great to see you tomorrow. Hmm, baby vs satnav - tough call in terms of best birthday present.

All the MW I spoke to discouraged any formal monitoring of movements (eg keeping a 'kick chart' etc) because they thought it led to obsessing unnecessarily (;-)) However, they did encourage keeping an eye on movement and noting any unusual decrease or increase in movement. It's tricky though - how do you measure 'unusual'? I can't see that it should make any difference in terms of when you agree to be induced (if you need to), unless you notice a decrease, they do a trace of the baby's heart and there is a problem and you should be induced then.

keep enjoy mat leave!

I wholeheartedly advocate taking at least 2 weeks postpartum in bed. Mum goes home tomorrow and DS's school starts on Monday so my idyll will come to an end, sadly.

crisps I will PM you the name - anyone else who wants to know too, I just didn't want to spam you all unnecessarily!

motor I've just kept an eye on movement, nothing formal. But kip is very active, and you get to know what wakes them. Why would they induce you early?

crisps any reason you're thinking you might go into labour tonight? Tell those girls to stay put a good few weeks more.

keep didn't mean I thought I would have them tonight, sorry if I misled! i'm also hoping for a few more weeks' crocheting time before their arrival!

motor I just tried to keep an informal eye on things...as with many ivf-era I have a tendency to worry. I've only lately been able to feel twin 1 because of her position and where the placenta is, but mine do follow a pattern - v active first thing in the morning and late at night, but quiet in the afternoon and throughout the nighttime (praying that this may continue!). I think it is good to try to figure out if there is a routine, as this will give you an indication of what is normal for you, but not sure about counting kicks...my babies spin around quite a lot and this has an impact as well as how tired I am (they move less when I am tired) but it has taken me ages to figure thisout and I think would have worried me in thefirst weeks of feeling them.

Just watching this morning with Robert Winston and Zita West who were arguing about the value of 'home remedies' for infertility. Winston was saying that we can place too much importance on them when more medical intervention would be more effective....Zita disagreed. Got to say I agree with team Winston after his argument. Anyhoo, they have people calling in who have been trying for years/have run out of ivf attempts/are waiting for the results of ivf....and can't believe how lucky we all are. Bless our babies and bumps ladies, its been a fucking long and shitty road to get here.

crisps I thought I'd be all over Gina F but now that I've read I think it would just stress me out and make me not enjoy my baby. Her newborn regime let's them go quite a long time between the 10 and 14.00 feed, Bella would never comply with that! Also, to put her to sleep in her cot and close the doo, sounds a bit harsh. Every baby in those early stages will want to be on mummy's chest most of the time and they will want to comfort suck or have grizzly time in the evening. Gina doesn't really allow for these normal things. Also not sure how to do split feeds on the breast!? I think there's some useful stuff in there but for me ultimately her principle is to make sure they get enough calories and play in during the day so they sleep at night. I can do that without her routine as well. Also, her newborns do a lot of awake n play time, mine must be extraordinarily dozy!

I have a bit of a crush on Winston crisps, mostly cos he's enabled ladies like us to have babies, not cos he's hot! He's a fertility god. The home remedy, just relax thing pisses me right off. Nothing was going to work for DH's sperms other than ivf and Zita's practices put so much pressure on couples to make huge lifestyle changes that in most cases do fuck all, apart from make people feel guilty about not following them! Ranty rant. I totally agree that we are all so lucky. I still can't believe the ivf eventually worked for me.

Happy birthday motor a baybee in the belly defo makes for a great birthday :)

fairy please can you PM me mini P's name? She's just adorable! All that lovely hair.

onion sorry things weren't any easier last night. I have no useful advice, but offer lots of sympathy.

keep last day wohoo! 2 weeks left for me... I am finding the travelling hard and now can't wait to finish up, even tho I love my job. Have a fab day.

shazz you look so incredibly youthful, so ignore that crown! Hope you are enjoying your nesting. Oo, I'm off next Friday, so if you fancy meeting for a cuppa (and if shazzlet hasn't popped), do let me know.

Better get back to work. Almost le weekend...

crisps I am happy to send you my copy of A Contented House with Twins if you want it?

gin n shazz happy to supplement numbers in your SE London NCT group!

Ah thanks dildals but I worry that it would just end up in nextdoor's garden again and have heard it is just the same as the cotented little baby book. Just wanted to have the routines to check that babies are within the normal ish range of number of feeds/sleeps for their age...for example will most definitely not be waking babies up to feed in the middle of the night as my hc had me doing with DD....pretty sure that led to her not sleeping through for years. I think instinct is pretty good...babies need feeding and cuddling generally, and you know when something isn't right!

Glad you said that gin, I'd like to give Prof Winston a big hug if I ever met him. The man who did my last op was a worldwide specialist in endo and flew back from teaching doctors in China to fix me....he's also a big name in research into endo and fertility and I was very starstruck when I met him!

Jesus. Play date from hell over, I cut things short by saying I needed to feed the baby upstairs so terribly sorry etc. Is it really bad that I dislike a four year old? She is really spiteful to my DD1 who gets confused and upset.

Fetal movement monitoring is a minefield. I was told ten an hour or come in for a check up. Now considering they go quiet for a couple of hours at a time when they are asleep this nearly drove me insane and I was always anxiously prodding her (no wonder she won't sleep!) I'd follow the regular pattern advice instead.

I still need to go food shopping. I think I'll buy a bottle of wine and drink it in bed.