Pregnant (IVF) Worriers/Warriors Part 4

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

Yes, I'm doing much better now keep thanks. I'm looking forward to Xmas.

Me too. Lots of family = lots of naps.

euro, how's things? X

Hurrah for gin and the ginster. I really hope they are both ok. Let's have a collective SQUEEEEEEEE. I thank you.

shazza my darling, you are incomparable. Please don't compare yourself to the NCT gels. You have to recover and find your feet with this motherhood lark your own pace, and in your own time. Chill, my sweet ! Sounds like you had a perfectly idyllic day with DD.

mrsh sounds like you are doing brilliantly under the circumstances. I hope the HV's tips work !

Hello to everyone else. I'm off to my last Lazy Daisy class tonight. Oh and I appear to be next on the list. Fecking jeezus christ-y-pops almighty. runs and hides in a corner

Oh and a sly pat on the head for euro . Ahem. As you were. Naffink to see here.

Hurrah for the Ginster. I'm eager for details!

shazz DON'T COMPAAAARE - that is sung in the style of that advert. It's so true what others have said. I was a bit of a wreck for ten days after my ELCS but other people swear they were fine after a couple of days.

It sounds like you and shazzletina are doing very well as a twosome. I'd say it's pretty usual to have only put her down for lunch and the loo. You're next challenge is to go to the loo whilst breastfeeding...

noks in all seriousness I hope you're feeling ok.

fairy I am currently cheating on naps and either letting her sleep on me in a darkened room or in the car. If I put her down she howls for 20 mins and then sleeps for 20 mins. She is driving me nuts.

mrshy they can also stay slow feeders in which case you end up like me. Argh.

Speaking of which I have decided to stop expressing. She had so little of it that it can't have made much difference and I discussed it with my health visitor yesterday who said I should drop the guilt and stop if it was causing me hassle. So now I am wanting to go and buy myself a properly fitting bra for my sad little bosoms. I am really excited by this. Much as I love my Bodysilks I can wait to sling them out. I am wondering if I can fit in a trip to Debenhams tomorrow (that is my best option for bras here in the land that time forgot.) Exciting though!

Thanks for the slap on the wrist girls we have had a super relaxing day today. I love shazlett so much I melt when I look at her. And I've gazed at get loads today so I'm well loved up.

Noks you are next. I'm so excited. Can't wait for the nipper's arrival.

Did we decide to have a new thread?

Is euro joining us?!?! Oh, I do hope so, lovely.

shaz its up to the preggos I think, esp the earlier lot. noks'll be one of us in no time...

onion that sounds sensible. Well done you for bf for so long. But shouldn't you wait till the milk goes to get a new bra?

Bella was in her super cozy sleeping bag last night and as a result took a few substandard feeds .... arghh ... I need to unzip that thing to get a bit of cold air going to those toots to make sure she does a full feed. Lazy girl!

OI! Breastfeeding while going to the loo is my trick! (Rugby ball hold is the key ...) Totally normal to just sit on sofa with baby on chest, that's what it is ALL about people!

Oh onion I would be excited about that too!! Half of my bras have 'four boob' going, ie the boob sticks out over the cup. I just can't get over how glamorous motherhood is, I never expected it to be!

euro please join us!!!

We could just use the FB thread for baby talk? Although that would mean we are missing out on sage Onion mothers advice.

I took Bella to my team's Christmas lunch today. The restaurant was super big and there were lots of noises, voices and faces. I kept her on low stimulus in her pram with a muslin over but at one point I took her out to have a bit of a look around and a feed. She looked SCARED! This big eyed totally overwhelmed look. I already knew then that we would have an interesting journey back on our hands. At the moment she gets overtired really quickly and this was too much in about ten seconds. She gulped down her milk (Avent Classic teat 1 month + is a winner. I tried the Calma and the NUK and this one is The Chosen One. Anyway.) and was still hungry. It's funny, she knows not to ask for the boob or kick up a fuss when it is not convenient (up to a point), but as soon as you leave the premises (the restaurant in this case) or cross the doorstep of the house she will let it be known that there is still a bit of hunger. So I fed her again in a quiet pub, next to a xmas tree, which again was incredibly interesting to Bella but way too much for her. To my own fault I then took her v briefly in House of Fraser (listen, I haven't seen a grown up show for months OK!). Again, all the smells and the lights ... She screamed all the way back on the train (luckily only ten mins). As you can imagine it was a bit of a mission to get her to sleep. Two boob feed, one boob vomit over the clean sheets from Saturday's vomit. And I need a bath now to clean the baby sick off myself. :-)

Old Mother Onions can't cope with two forums (fora?)
I don't know what's best, I could probably join FB if I ever got the chance to use a computer rather than just my phone. I'll go with what the majority think though.

It's awful innit, dildals? My normal bras all really dig in at the shoulder straps, they all feel too thin as maternity bras are so comfy. I think I need something a bit matronly at first to get used to it. keep I've been winding down the feeding for a couple of weeks, by accident rather than design, so I don't think they'll deflate any more. For now I just want one bra that gives me some shape.

Hi ladies, just a quickie as I need to pop on properly and catch up tomorrow. I just wanted to say, please don't go off of this thread, I bloody love it and have followed the worriers threads since they started.

Huge congrats to sweetie and gin

I agree with Chocco. We are all going to have babies sooner or later and we have come so far together it seems odd to move away just cause the baby has arrived. I love talking about being preggers. The only thing is if it puts off new people joining but it didn't deter Chocco. What about Foody? I'm abit worried about her. We haven't heard from her for so long.

Onion much as I love the body silks I'm jealous about the sexy underwear shopping trip. I'm glad you have made a decision thAt will make things easier for you.

Dildals that was quite a trip for both of you. I hope that one day I too will be able to venture so far. Do babies have to be a certain weight for the sleeping bags? Did you feed bella whilst still in the bag? Im hoping that after xmas i'll be feeling better and we can go back into our bed and Shazlett will be able to use the bedside cot and sleeping bag. Now that I have shazlett I am even more impressed by your advanced mothering skills of being able to have a number 2 whilst holding a baby!

Well a peaceful day was made up for with a fretful evening. But she has finally gone down. Fingers crossed she stays there til 5 or 6. Night all.

Other news is that we got discharged by MW today. It was very emotional with both of us crying. She really is lovely. DP had drawn her a cartoon card but she didn't want to open it in front of me cause it would upset her more. Shazlett and I had a chat about it and decided that we are ok now and it's time for her to go and look after someone else.

Hope all is good with you, choco. From t'other end of pregnancy (5 weeks to go) I too think it's great that everyone has stayed after their babies arrived. As I recall ringlet was born about a day after I joined the thread so there has always been at least one baby about - and it's been joyous to hear about her as she grows :-) I think it's the very fact that everyone's at different stages, but has in common that we've walked difficult paths to get this far, which makes this a uniquely supportive place. So as long as those who've had their babies don't mind the lack of contribution to some of the baby discussions which are still a foreign country to those still pregnant - though very educational :-) - I say please stay!

Huge congratulations to gin and sweetie

Ok its lovely to stay, just thought it may not be what newly preggos need/want. We've not had many new people, though assume there have been lots of ivf bfps...

choco how are you doing? Remind us when your scan is? Are you telling anyone early? If you've been following us you'll know how many of us had early spotting btw, just in case you do.

Kip is all snotty :( I've used one of those snot pumps. My pour baby. I watched her from 3am last night worrying/warriering

You are right about new people Keep. Do people know we are here? Maybe from the egg buddie thread they do. Shall we see how it goes and maybe naturally as the next thread progresses we will get more people?

Poor Kip. Did you buy the snot thingy in boots? Shazlett's breathing was raspy the other day and I started thinking about how it will be the first time she is ill.

Ceara only 5 weeks to go? Goodness with Xmas in between that will fly by. At least you have the Xmas distraction to help these last weeks pass by. I hope your final week at work is ok.

Onion moving on from new bras. I'm also going to need weaning off the oversized pants. God these apple catchers are comfy

Another newbie voting for you all to stay. I like to know there's somewhere to go if i have a panic but the thread rumbles on without me when I'm just keeping my head down. Until I start feeling the baby properly this still doesn't feel very real so not always easy to join in but I am learning!

Don't think I said it before but hello choco :-)

Needs must shaz needs must ....

No idea whether they need to be a certain weight. I tried her in it when she was chunky enough not to disappear down the head hole!

I feed her in it yes, the good thing is that i then don't have to put her down in a cold cot, something that used to send her screaming!

Unfortunately they only last one night cos she possets her milk all over the shoulders. Leaky baby.

Guess what. DH is in spare bedroom again / still after another night on the lash, trying to keep up with his considerably younger cousin. His January will be spent detoxing me thinks!

So we're all staying here then are we ? Good. Group hugs everyone.

dildals DH has been mincing about in leopard print again eh ? You are extremely tolerant.

Yay for gin and sweetie! We are having a baby tsunami round here.

I think it's more interesting to have a broad range of posters anyway rather than concentrated at one stage but wouldn't want those who are early on to feel you have nothing to add or get bored of hearing how much or how little our babies are eating and sleeping. Those being the preoccupations of the new mother.

So Pangolina just had her 6 week check (at 8 weeks but then she had her jabs today too) and she is, of course, perfect. The GP asked me if I needed contraception and I had to admit I didn't know. I've been puzzling about this for a while. After I had DS I had a Mirena coil fitted and it worked brilliantly so I would go for that again -but - I know if I do have it put in that will be it for babies for me. I am 40 and they last for 4 years. I would have to have it removed to try again and I think it very unlikely I would do that but on the other hand, playing baby roulette has some attraction. Rationally I KNOW that another baby is not a good idea in terms of energy, time, money, careers, having to buy a mini-van etc. I also know that given our respective ages and the fact we had IVF for Pangolina also makes it unlikely I would conceive naturally again. But our failure to conceive was unexplained and we used IVF when we had been trying for "only" 19 months so it is not as though we were in the last chance saloon. I really don't know what to do. Part of the reason why I want to leave the option of a third open is that having tried so hard for Pangolina it seems wrong somehow to deliberately prevent another gift like her. Also I had a relatively easy pregnancy, easy labour and now she's an easy baby so it all seems rather doable at the moment. I just could not possibly get caught up in the hell of TTC again, so I would have to be able to just not think about it very much and I don't know if I can do that.

The GP (who has 3 children, the last of which she had a lot later than the first two and well into her 40s so she was v sympathetic with my indecision) said that as long I am BFing exclusively I am 98% protected so don't need to think about it now anyway.

Is anyone else similarly conflicted? Am I being crazy by even contemplating this after going through IVF?

shazza the grobag (eg baby sleeping bag) says you shouldn't use them until the baby is over 8 lbs. They are so practical, I love them.

onion I sometimes pull out a lovely lacy little bra when I am rooting in a drawer for my bap armour and I just can't imagine ever fitting into it again. I hope you find something nice!

Seconded on the grobag weight, it's on their website, but once she's big enough they are brilliant for keeping them snug. (Always at least half price in TK Maxx too!) How lovely that you had a nice midwife. You are officially Coping Very Nicely though or she wouldn't let you go! Hope you don't get an HV like mine who has only the vaguest idea what a baby even is.

I didn't want sexy! Just underwired and the right size. Which it turns out is 32F. Crikey. Anyway I have lift and shape at last and that will do for now. I got one dark and one light and ten pairs of boring multipack knickers too. Debenhams is surprisingly good at bras too, nice selection in larger sizes and good sale on at the moment. Oh I'm becoming awfully provincial...

Dildals poor Bella with you dragging her all over town when she just wants a quiet life - I'd be sick on you too! You have my sympathy on the vomming, it's so horrendously messy. I restricted Ringlet's bedtime feed to 100mls to prevent vom last night, it worked but she was not happy.

Fairy I was almost where you are on the contraception issue but decided to go for the mirena. The decision was made for me really as I've lost two babies to chromosomal abnormalities whilst only in my 30s and the risks only increase with age. I would be very high risk if I were over 40 and pregnant and I don't want to my childbearing to end in more tragedy, rather than the triumph of actually having Ringlet. I feel hugely blessed to have my two and feel that three may have been nice, had I been able to have them younger but overall I am very, very happy with my lot. Also I couldn't cope with the stress of ttc, another pregnancy, childcare costs, loss of an extremely useful spare bedroom, needing a bigger car, never having a holiday again, I want my figure back, want my evenings back, want my marriage back, even what remains of my career. etc. etc. Nope, I'm done! It's a hard one though, you have to find what feels most right for you, but there is likely to be an element of regret whatever you choose. There, that's helpful!

Seems like we're staying put here then? Good stuff.

Also worried about foody. Hope you're just busy or too weary to post.

I'm also getting the 'dont forget you need contraception' chat. Before shazlett arrived I said that I definitely didn't want another. Like you I feel so blessed to have her and I'm 43 now so no spring chicken to do it all again.

But it is tempting. I know that DP would like another but id have to have them a year or so apart cause I don't want to be pregnant in my late 40s. I loved being pregges and love shazlett so much. It's hard to think that I'd never do this again. But practically we can barely afford this baby let alone another one. I don't think i'll have a coil fitted. I'm guessing we will use condoms for now. If I ever have sex again that is! Of course we still have £900 worth of IVF drugs in the fridge that are good until sept 2014.

The HV came today. She asked how I was feeling so I said better but still teary. Then she was asking me how I feel about the baby. I said that I love her and she's great. She asked if I'm bonding with her and I said I think so but it's funny that I used to talk to the bump loads but now I speak to shazlett less. DP talks to her all the time when he is changing her nappy but I talk to her less. I do sing to her alot though. Anyway she has just called me and said that she wants to refer me to the mental health team. She repeated back to me what I'd said to her and suddenly it sounded like I'm not talking and bonding with my baby and, in her words, I'm 'not parenting to the best of my ability'. I agree that it is what I said but it sounded much worse when she read it back. I've said that its ok to refer me but now I'm upset cause it looks like I'm depressed and not looking after my baby properly. When admittedly I'm probably abit more teary and sensitive than most but I don't think I'm depressed. I guess it is only a referral for an assessment but they won't take my baby will they?