Pregnant (IVF) Worriers/Warriors Part 4

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

Is she doing a home birth? My brain is mush...

Good luck mrshy! Vair vair exciting... X

Oh good luck! Isn't she aiming for a home birth in the hot tub? Hope things go to plan.

Yes MrsHY was planning a home birth in the pool. GOOD LUCK!! Exciting!!!

Can I just have a vent here .... Bella had the 3rd set of jabs on Monday and I am not 100% sure it's related but ever since she's been crying for no obvious reason. She feeds more, but it's more comfort sucking mainly. She's permanently attached to her dummy. It is sucking the life out of me. I can't go anywhere because she wants to be held continuously, and even that doesn't stop her crying. Normally going out will stop her crying but even that doesn't do the trick any more. I am at my wits end. I hate to see her so unhappy. Calpol doesn't help either. Thank FUCK she is still sleeping OK ... Any thoughts??

Oh no dildals. I guess it'll probably pass in 48 hours. I have been checking out your Bella pictures on fb, she's so cute and you've done so so well.

Sending hypno thoughts to mrsH

Oooh squeeee mrsHY. Hope you are safely installed in yur living room hot tub with beaucoup de maize to keep your energy levels up.

noksI second onion's mattress topper recommendation...I did buy the bed mats but only to put on the car seat if I was leaking on the way to hospital. I use the, now for airy bum time in the morning so that the mini twinnies can get a nice draft round their faloolas once in a while, quite handy for that. I am not too leaky now, but the big huuuuge maternity pads dis get some use for a few weeks. The padding is quite useful because of my stitches, although won't go into too much detail about tearing while some of us are still in labour...

gin feel free to steal Thea, we love it and haven't met another one yet. We were going to call her Althea but didn't because mils thought it was too odd, but I still love the fuller version. There is Dorothea and Theadora too if you are that way inclined. I love all my girls' names, its lovely when they become a real person and strange how quickly they grow into their names. Have been calling them Nancypants and Pearlypoo lately though, poor loves,will have to make an effort to stop that!

sweetie six lbs is amazing, that's almost twice Pearl's current weight. As much as I love my girls to bits,if I could choose for them to still be inside now I would do. Keep eating and porking them up!

Wehave been at home for four days now and it is amazing. I don't think I'll forget the horrors of the hospital too quickly but it is so lovely to be in a baby bubble for a while. We sent outpr friends a text explaining that visits will have to wait a while as the girls' sleep is still sacred until they are term, and everyone has been great, so we've had some lovely family time. Nighttimes vary...last night they were in sync and fed at 11, 2.30 and 6 which was grapeat, but the night before they had a prem feeding frenzy (prem team's term, not mine!) and were out of sync and feeding every two hours...meaning a feed an hour for the whole night between Dh and I. I was so tired after th hospital that I couldn't actually keep my eyes open for one feed, am going to try hard to get them into some semblance of a routine soon. But all well here, just lovely baby bliss with lots of snuggles, they are soooo tiny and I have become a facebook bore already. It was my birthday yesterday and DH bought me a vintage 1977 silver cross pram in brown and cream, absoutely gorgeous. None of the normal prams in the shops were wide enough and it was £500 for the pram attachments for our buggy, so it saved sme money and ai have always wanted one. I probably look ike a reet twerp pushing it around looking like a zombie but I love it, feeling very lucky right now.

ANY NEWS from anyone else?! How is the cc going onion?

dildals missed you out..DD1 always used to be unsettled after her jabs and still is. Have you done calpol or is she not old enough yet? I think they can have one dose after jabs when they are first born so even with her adjusted age it might be ok. As other said though, it should pass after a day or two.

Ah bollox just realised you have already tried calpol.ignore me. Am sleep deprived fucktard, bah.

crisps Thea is a more common name (but not too common IYKWI) in the Netherlands. There used to be a show on telly called Theo and Thea, which had all children (and adults) in stitches. They made a movie too, Theo and Theo and the toe cheese emporium. :-)

Do both twins fit in to the pram then?

I vote for Dolls and Dix to be their nicknames :-)

The hospital experience sucks, but it's so nice to have them home that it does become a distant memory.

crisps we are on 11, 2, 4, 6... How are your prems going longer than my girl... ? But, weigh in today showed 11oz in 8 days, where they want 3-6 in a week, so I'm happy with that.

dildals no idea if Calpol isn't working. Unrelated virus?

crisps wow at the pram! Lovely baby bubble too. They sound remarkably good at the nighttime stuff, let's hope it lasts. Thea is lovely, Dorothea is my fave long version. Are you not tempted to call them Pearl and Dean and sing da da da da da da daa dadada at them all the time? Ringlet gets a version of 'Only the lonely', poor mite. DD1 has started calling her Hambumbo, which I am trying to curtail.

The cc is not working how I hoped. I'm not sure why but she just won't accept the cot and still cries for over half an hour whenever I put her down awake. I'm hoping that when she's crawling she wears herself out more and as she takes more solid food she'll want less milk. She currently has a bottle every three hours in the night! I am embarrassed that I can't seem to tackle it, people are now saying just stop giving her a bottle but she's hungry and I can't leave her to cry knowing she's hungry. Things are better in that at least she's in her cot in her room, it's just I'm in there a lot too! The bottle feeding is making life far easier too. Must look to the positives through bleary eyes...

keep last night we had 7, 11, 2, 4 and 7. At nearly EIGHT months!

Ohhhhhh how exciting MrsH hope all is going well in the hot tub and you have plenty of maize snack at the ready.

Crisps sounds like a blissful newborn time and loving the Silver Cross news. I am still having Dolly & Dixie name envy too.

Nothing to report here, twins still very comfy where they are. Lots of baby movement and wriggling but no twinges. At reflexologist appointment yesterday had her do a what she could to encourage exit but nothing as yet.

Oh yes Dolly and Dixie as nn, I'm very happy with that! We call Thea all sorts really...Thea-Lou, theebles, Thee so am sure their names will evolve over time!

Both of them fit nicely in the pram side by side which is what I wanted. It has old school suspension too and I love bouncing them along like an old lady!

onion I never got on with cc with DD. over time I just accepted that she just didn't sleep well and got hungry in the night. She realy was hungry, and it didn't feel right to leave her, so we must fed her without really giving her much itnteraction or attention. She didn't sleep all the way through until she was 2 1/2 so I can't say we fixed her, but I did feel better about it after I just decided to go with the flow. What is your nstinct telling you? Do you feel like she is getting up niggly and needs to settle for longer, or do you think it is hunger? Don't feel pressured by other people's ideas....I honestly think that some babies just sleep and some don't.

I'm sure the okish nights won't last...sleepiness is a prem thing and in any case DD1 had a horrific 4month sleep regression so we are just on trainng for the real thing! At the moment they settle quite easily after a feed so I really hope that continues..being up in the middle of the night feeding is ok but if you are just shushing and rocking it can be quite frustrating.

dildals that's quite cool!i've never been to the Netherlands but it is definitely on my list, along with Norway and Sweden, I'd love to go and tour over that way.

And onion does ri glet go in her room and cot in the daytime? Wuld getting her more used to the environment help do you think?

I agree the feeding is ok, its the settling that gets to me.

I put her in her cot for every nap if we're at home. She cries for at least 20 mins and then only sleeps for 20 mins. She's just cried for a full hour and I've taken her into the spare bed with me as I couldn't stand it any more. She just wants to be with me all night and she genuinely is hungry at all those feeds. I am at a loss! I'm stopping the controlled crying though as it's not working and is just upsetting her and me too much. Gah! Why did evolution make babies so tricksy?

I try to play with her in her room too and put her in her cot to play. She's fine as long as I'm there.

Hello ladies

Sorry for radio silence. I've just tried to catch up but I'm Afraid I'm never going to remember everything in my bleary eyed haze.

Anyhooo mrsH Good luck. I'm thinking of you and hope that you are down breathing in your pool as I type. However if things don't go to plan, don't worry, go with the flow and keep breathing.

Onion it sounds like you are trying everything you can. I really feel for you. When you say 'people' are telling you not to fed ringlet what people are you referring to? I'm not sure what support is out there when babies get to ringlets age.

Dildals I hope bella has settled. I'm worried about jabs. I'm into homeopathy and according to that philosophy jabs are evil and unnecessary. That would be fine if I were making the decision for mysfbut now shazlett is here how can I risk not protecting her?

Crisps I love the Fb pic with your new pram and thea. She is very cute and looks proud to be out with mummy and her sisters beautiful pram. Happy birthday. Glad nancy and pearl ate doing well. Synching feeds must be a nightmare. It's as enough feeding one!

Sweets hurrah for healthy happy babies. They will come out when ready and in 2 weeks you will definitely meet them. That is sooo exciting.

Hello to Noks, buzzy and all you comparing your pads. I bought the bed pad things as well. I would say get plenty of knicker pads for afterwards. Naively I only had 3 packs. Yep they lasted about 2 days. But then I am paranoid about changing them.

Another purchase that I can't recommend enough is the my Brest friend breast feeding pillow. Makes feeding much easier and has saved my nips.

So at chez shaz things are up and down. On the up side shazlett has exceeded her birth weight and MW is very pleased. On the down I'm not doing so well. We are going into day 12 and I'm still crying a lot. The HV came yesterday and is going to come back in 2 weeks and also the MW saw us yesterday. Both advised me to go to the drs tomorrow to get help and nip the depression in the bud as soon as poss. I feel so guilty. At the beginning I was crying because I felt overwhelming love for shazlett. Now I don't feel that. I look at her and feel confused and I don't understand her. She has been very windy and is distressed. My mum and DP have been soothing her while I watch feeling detached. It's horrible. I feel worried thAt I don't love her but I know I do. We went out to the milk spot yesterday. Shazlett's first outing which was momentous for me. DP said he felt proud as punch and was walking along chest puffed out like a peacock. The MW at the milk spot was very helpful about the wind. Said that I've got a lot of milk and made suggestions about feeding positions to help slow the flow cause poor shazlett chokes on it sometimes.

I'm looking at her now feeding as I type and she is unbelievably beautiful. ( I will post a pic tomorrow. I haven't opened a computer in days). I do love her. I just wish I felt happier and that this special experience wasn't being marred by my tears.

Well she is just about done. And I need to go back to sleep. Xx

Shaz - just let the tears happen, don't feel bad about them. My friend was also super emotional and (you may not want to hear this!) It lasted for months. It is a super emotional time and the hormones are enormous. Try to get out every day, even if just for half an hour.

Babies do get terrible wind, I know all about that! This one has just been shrieking and farting! Nothing helps and she just needs to grow out of it. Good you're getting help though. And it sounds you're doing amazing with breastfeeding!

X

D'oh! Just remembered you had a CS so going out might be difficult still! I was still walking like a granny at this point.

Oh shazz, I fear I sound patronising but babies are massively confusing and overwhelming and are also fairly unrewarding until they start to smile and interact with you (which takes at least 4-6 weeks).

I know you don't like the medicalisation of things so I'll say that there is a school of thought that says that PND is over diagnosed and feelings of tearfulness, detachment, sadness, fear and so on are natural responses to the trials of pregnancy, labour and the subsequent exhaustion (plus you have a section to recover from). I give this theory quite a lot of credence but I also think that if there is actually PND then it needs treating and support. Be open with the GP about how you feel but see what feels right to you about any treatment they may suggest. Can your mum stay on? I found my mum hugely helpful in all sorts of ways in the first few weeks and made her keep coming back to save me.

Shazzlet sounds like she's doing great with her weight. A fast letdown can cause wind, but lots of babies are very windy anyway. It generally settles a bit after 12 weeks but as dildals says, some of them stay windy but you learn to manage it for them more effectively.

I often felt despair after having DD1 that life would always be this gruelling with constant feeding, crying and wind. I found it hard to see how I could keep going. This time I know that babies change quite quickly and things will not always be this hard. Sometimes all you can do is take it an hour at a time. Hang in there anyway, you are doing a great job so far.

Must get back to sleep myself. Ringlet has had one less feed tonight now she's in with me. She is a total rascal.

Just popping in to say belated good luck to MrsHY, I hope all goes/has gone to plan.

shazz hang in there. You aren't "marring" anything, and have nothing to feel guilty for. I think tears are how our bodies deal with overwhelming emotions whether happy, sad or just plain confusing ones. Like dildals says, just let them come. It's good you are getting lots of support, and I too hope your mum can stay on a bit longer and give you the extra TLC you deserve.

Waves to everyone else.

Oh shaz it's really hard isn't it? I hope the doctor can help, and do not feel bad about medication if that'd help.

I would encourage people to get their jabs. We have to keep herd immunity and it's only through vaccination that we have eliminated or near eliminated certain diseases. There is no evidence of harm from the jabs.

mrsH can't wait to hear from you!

We have a big excursion to see my sister and nieces today. 1 hour drive on my own, fingers crossed she won't bawl all the way... Eek.

gin and sweetie all eyes are now turning to you. This thread is super exciting these days!! I like that we're a bit spread out so it's a constant drip of lovely new babies.

Shazz my darling girl I will post properly later but you are so amazing and this will pass. Please know that.
So ladies- drumroll- I have a baby!! Miss HY ( will post her name and piccie on Fbook later) was born last night at 9.25 weighing 7lb5. My surges started to kick in around 9am when my waters also started to go. At around 3pm they were coming thick and fast so the midwife came over at around 4pm. I was examined at 4.30 and was 1.5cm dilated with a hard and back cervix so I sort of thought we'd be in it for the long haul. Midwife left at 5 and said to call her back over when things ramped up a notch. Well by 7 the contractions were pretty much continuous so the midwife came back, observed me and told me I could get in the pool. As soon as I did I felt the urge to push - turned out I was fully dilated! So I pushed for 45 mins and there she was. Placenta followed about 30 mins later once I'd got out of the pool and 2 hrs after that I was tucked up in bed with missy, tea and chocolate buttons. Fanjo is relatively unscathed- couple of grazes and a small tear that they didn't advise stitching. Feeding seems to be going well but obviously still early early days!
Hypno was brilliant for me- didn't make it painless but meant I could cope with contractions using that and two paracetamol. Do I get a NAILS award Noks?