Pregnant (IVF) Worriers/Warriors Part 4

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

Crisps great news that your girls are homeward bound. I am so pleased for you all.

Shazza so pleased all is going so well for you too, I know the experience wasn't what you had planned but glad it was still as good as could be expected given the circumstances.

shazza, just quickly as I need to get to bed but no she needn't take both sides. DD1 only ever had one side at a time and she was an absolute porker. DD2 had both sides and she is a little petite critter.

You sound totally normal for one week in. Don't worry, the emotions settle down (a bit!) and it will all be ok. Let your mum do as much as she can. The section scar is agony but it will be ok in a couple of weeks. Keep in touch!

Hi shaz, no, she's normally so asleep after one boob I don't offer the second. We now don't need to wake her for feeding, but did at the start. I would, esp as she's lost a fair bit of weight. The trouble is if they don't feed enough they get more sleepy, so feed less, so get more sleepy etc etc.

It sounds like your recovery is tough. Won't be long now though. Also I was an emotional wreck for I'd say ten days at least!!

mrsH.. ?!

Thanks girls.

How long does kip feed on one side? After a few mins shazlett falls asleep so I do the blowing on her and tickling etc. I read his means she could have a poor latch but she seems to be gulping her cheeks are full her chin is working she has dimples etc. all the right signs. I didn't know she gets more sleepy by not eating. Now I'm really worried. The MW is coming today so I'll ask her. I'm crying quite a lot during the day at the moment. I hope this is normal. If I get pnd DP would never cope.

Shaz do not worry, babies drink at different speeds. Kip is fast, and I think my milk fast. So its usually ten mins. I need to make it longer though as its only two hours between feeds, do I think it should be less. Saw nct friends today. Vv normal to be sleepy, but just don't let them go too long between feeds.. I was v worried too. All you have to go on is,nappies and weight gain, which will start soon. How many nappies is she doing?

Notices its less than two hours. Argh!!
Also kip had jaundice so the feed and sleepy thing may be different.

Yesterday she did 9 wees and 9 poos. Some were mixed nappies. The poo is now nearly mustard. So I think that's ok right? I've got a list of q's for the MW tomorrow. If I can get confident on the feeding I hope to feel more settled. And my healing will improve day by day. We have decided to have my mum stay until Friday. Then as I gradually feel stronger I can do more and she can gradually do less to help. A week on Tuesday ill have my first day on my own when DP goes to work. It's only 1 day but I'll aim for that as a little goal.

Having said all of this, shazlett is amazing and as she snores on y shoulder now, drunk on milk, my heart is full of love for her. Ill try to open the computer tomorrow and post a pic for those not on FB. She is quite surprising in that she has loads of hair. And not just wisps but a proper hair style. In fact hilariously we have almost exactly the same hair style . Time to put her down and grab another couple of hours.

crisps I'm so pleased for you that you are all going home sooner than expected, that is brilliant news that you will all be together in your own house.

shazz lovely to hear how you and shazlett are. You sound as though you are both doing amazingly after the gruelling week last week. Take it gently and steadily and lean on all the support you need to.

fairy and keep it sounds such a steep learning curve! Your girls sound lovely though. I can't believe pangolina is 6 weeks old already.

onion yaay to more sleep.

gin is the ginster still cooperating and staying right way round for her mum?

buzzy I have started making a hospital bag listlist, purchased a car seat and we have made a final decision on the pushchair. I am counting that as progress but wish I could be more on top of things and organised. It is such a battle between instinct to plan ahead and superstitious fear of tempting fate by doing so!

MrsHY, noks, hope the maternity leaves are is going well and you are loafing, lounging bout and being cossetted by your other halves. 3 weeks to go for me, though I stop at Christmas so it is going to feel like holiday to begin with. sweetie, when did/do you start maternity leave? Sorry, I have lost track again.

motor yaay to lively baby and right sized bump. It is bemusing how different trusts have different policies around IVF pregnancies. Here age and IVF would not stop you using the (lovely) standalone midwife unit, subject to the usual warning that the odds of having to transfer are higher for older women having first babies.

madness, foody, dildals (and Bella) hope all's well with you and anyone else I've missed.

Growth scan next week as the bump is measuring a bit small though MW isn't unduly concerned as the baby seems happy and she is pretty sure I am just carrying small (as my mum did apparently). So we're not panicking yet - honest.

Today is Christmas shopping day. Wish me luck :-)

Good luck ceara, I'm sure you'll just be as your mum was.

shazza all those wet and pooey nappies show she's feeding marvellously. You haven't got PND, it's probably just baby blues which tends to hit about three days afterwards. I cried for an entire day when dd1 was about 5 days old as I thought I couldn't ever look after her until she was 18 days old never mind 18, I was never going to heal up and feel normal, what kind of awful world had I brought her into and so on!

Nappies tell all, so that sounds great shaz. Hope mw can reassure you and shazlett has started to put on weight. Let us know. I agree its prob just normal baby blues. I am reminded though of an article I read a while back, that ivf mothers and those who struggled to conceive are more vulnerable to depression, as we have dreamed of it all for so long, and then its do bloody hard and we feel guilty for not enjoying it all every second. But we all have each other here for support and midnight insane musings. We are warriers as well as worriers, so we will be fine.

ceara I think it'll be do lovely to finish at Xmas, and sure there'll be a wind down period too.

So excited about the upcoming babies mrsH, gin, sweetie

shaz at hospital they said to aim for feeding every 3 hrs and wake her up for that, and not let her go for more than 4-5hrs, but that nappy count sounds v healthy.

Re tearfulness, sounds like hormones. My GP said that PND sets in normally at a later stage when the multiple weeks of not sleeping start to get to you, combined with for example a baby who cries continuously etc.

Enjoy your hugs!

Oh and on boobs, I think NCT says to do both boobs in early days to stimulate milk supply. But agree that it is virtually impossible to do that with a sleepy baby. Bella used to doze off on boob as well (nowadays she is a 2 boob kinda girl, 3, if I had an extra one)

crisps congrats on getting home with the babies! That's tremendous progress. I love the name Thea by the way. Hope you can relax a bit at home, although with an older child and twins good luck!

shazza I can only second what everyone else has said, feeling sad and overwhelmed in every sense is very very normal during the first week. There is a tsunami of hormones going on inside you. Also the kind of birth you had, eg prolonged labour ending in an EMCS is the most traumatic you can have. I read an article on the BBC once about it, a obstetrician was complaining that there is no research being done on how to treat women who have been through it. I was very mixed up emotionally for a long time after DS and the similar birth I had with him and my health visitor (who was actually very nice and supportive) said I had PTSD, not PND. Just try to be kind to yourself. If you had had any other major abdominal surgery following a prolonged painful ordeal you would be on bedrest with everyone looking after you for 6 weeks! After your mum goes do you have other people who can come over and help out? It's important not to get isolated.

Pangolina is squealing for her feed so I had better go. I offer her both sides but she often only has one. It really depends on how much milk comes out in one go and how hungry she is. Don't worry, Shazlett will get what she needs.

Thanks for the support girls.

Ceara hurrah for happy baby, being organised and Xmas shopping. How did you get on? Good luck for the scan although it sounds like you will be fine.

Fairy thanks for the encouragement re correlation between birth and emotion. I don't feel traumatised by the birth but there could be something going on subconsciously I guess. The MW said that although it is massively disappointing to get so far and then have re emcs at least the prolonged labour part prepared shazlett for exit by squeezing her and clearing her lungs.

Onion I hope ringlet is doing well. Is DH still in the spare room with dd1? Or have things settled down.

Dildals haha about needing a extra boob

Keep the MW was great today and I feel reassured that shazlett has gained 215g in 3 days. They usually expect 190 on a week do this is very good. She watched us feed and said it was good latch. She suggested that i make an appt with gp just in case and that if i do develop pnd there is lots of help. I have a history of depression so I'm being mindful of my state as much as possible.

Crisps how are things now you are home? Are you ok with the twins and dd1?

So how is everyone else!

Sweets what news re your elcs? Sorry if I missed an update.

Buzzy Ive been thinking of you. I've had to have fragmin injections and my legs are black and blue. I think it was you who had to have endless injections. I hope you are ok. How are you feeling?

Noks, gin, mrsH are you all gearing up for the big day. Noks how is the Viking name choice panning out . In a way I'm envious that you have all this to come. It is a magical experience.

Hello to motor and madness. Expat how is mini al? I loved your Fb post. She is a cutie and I relate to the emotion.
Foody how is it going? You must be nearly 12 weeks by now.

I hope I haven't missed anyone. I'm so sorry if I have.

Well feed over and shazlett is sleeping. DP is snoring beside me. I only had 1 nap today so time got me to get some zzzz's in before the circus starts all over again.

shazz that's great that you were able to get some reassurance that shazlett is feeding well.

Emotions and hormones are bound to be all over the place and up and down for a while. If you have history of depression, although it may be a predisposing factor you also know to look after yourself and what to be vigilant for, and to seek help if needed, which in a strange way increases resilience I think.

As I understand it, PTSD is less likely even after a difficult birth if you were well supported and were able to participate in the decisions made, so the degree of calm you were able to maintain for you and shazlett using the hypnobirthing techniques, together with your midwife's and team's support during the labour, will hopefully have protected you from any long term PTSD type consequences?

Hope you and shazlett and Mr Shazz all managed to get a good snooze in before the next feed.

Waving to everyone else.

I read somewhere that an important factor also is how in conrol you felt of the situation. So if you have an EMCS that was really sudden and unexpected (ie ruptured placenta, rushed in by ambulance) then your risk will be higher than a more 'relaxed' EMCS where staff have the time to talk you thru things. Anyway. Factoid.

Bella's chundered from her bednest over my phone and she's done an explo-poo. Should possibly commence clean up operation.

onion mentioned a while back that the foremilk/hindmilk and the lenght of the feed theory is a myth. I found this page: [http://thetruthaboutbreastfeeding.com/category/research/forehind-milk/] which explains why. I found it very helpful and a relief to read. Pangolina feeds quite quickly and if the foremilk/hindmilk theory was right (propagated by many, including the Baby Whisperer) I'd be quite stressed about it. I always wondered how it could be right though since babies feed much more quickly when they get bigger.

sorry the link is: thetruthaboutbreastfeeding.com/category/research/forehind-milk/

Good skillz Bella to manage to chunder over mummy's phone! Erm, hope it still works dildals! Btw I have totally ripped off Bella's style and got one of those tutu outfits. It had money off and I couldn't resist! DH hates it...

ceara hope the Xmas shopping went well! I've tried to be organised this year seeing that Ginster could come any time now, and done most of it online. Try not to worry about the growth scan - my MW told me my bump was too small and yet the scan the week before showed a pretty massive baby and a lot of fluid. Must be my tight non existent stomach muscles holding it all in, ha ha.

shazz sounds like Shazzlet is doing amazingly well! Hurrah for a good latch and weight gain. Sounds like you are a natural. I think it's a good idea to aware of PND, but as everyone else has said, baby blues are very common in the first few weeks and I can't even begin to imagine what the hormone crash must be like after birth. Plus you are recovering from a major op. On a more selfish note, I can't wait to meet shazzlet :) And any time I can be of any help, do let me know.

crisps yay for the girls being back home. It sounds like they are doing marvellously and they look super cute on FB. I can imagine it must have all been very stressful and a shock, but it's fab they are doing so well that they've been allowed home. I love their names and also Thea

keep I too have read about ivf mums being more likely to get PND. Hmmm... I think in many ways, the fact my pregnancy was so longed for, I've found the shitty bits easier to deal with than the instadiffers I know. The bit I have found harder though is the worrying. Hope all is good with Kip.

fairy how's pangolina doing?

onion is ringlett still taking the bottle? Hope you are managing to get some sleep.

Waves to sweetie and noks. Are you both enjoying mat leave? I've found what Shaz said about trying to get out most days really helpful. If I'm just stuck in the house I end up in a dr google/shit tv cycle. Although it's nice to occasionally do that... Today's task is to do some baking and Christmas dinner stuff for the freezer. Bread sauce anyone?

buzz how are you doing? Not too long until mat leave now for you?

I'm gonna do it, mrshy ANY NEWS?!

Can't believe we're up next after Mrs HY. It's quite surreal! Myself and DH can't wait to meet the baby, although I am still a bit nervous about things going ok - does everyone else feel like that?! I'm feeling super cumbersome at the mo and still not convinced that ginster has stayed head down. I'm pretty sure she's still moving lots and not engaged. Ah well, MW on Thurs should be able to tell us more. I'm getting to the stage where I just want the baby out safely! It feels a bit odd having what is obviously a full sized baby in my tummy!

gin what's even more odd is holding up the baby after it's out and thinking, my god that was just inside me!

Hello! Will catch up properly later with all you lovely ladies but no news here!! No show/ period pain/ anything out of the ordinary other than the baby getting very very wriggly, I think if I don't have her soon she might burst out alien style

Thanks fairy! What a reassuring article. Kip is getting faster all the time... We had one green pesto poo yesterday. As all the others are proper yellow do people think that's something to worry about?

I am going to try expressing and getting dh to give her a bottle on Wednesday. Does anyone have any tips? My book says 3-4 weeks is a good time, and I really need to get a longer stint of sleep.

gin I also think I didn't mind the hard bits of preg as much as an instadiffer, but I suppose I can imagine going the other way and feeling guilty if I weren't loving it.

shaz what fantastic weight gain. You clearly don't need to worry. Well done. Our next weigh-in is Wednesday since the jaundice I can't seem to trust myself.

Am proud of how much I've done today - met friends, registered her birth, laundry, bath. Phew!!

fairy thanks for the article

shazza at thinking of me when jabbing, she is beautiful and I thought she had the same barnet as you, yay to weight gain, I hope you don't mind but I might have some c section questions coming up

crisp glad you and the girls are home

ceara I can understand your concern about getting things done/ tempting fate, I just want to be as organised as possible, I'm not stocking up on months and months supplies of body wash, cleaning stuff, bog roll, no idea where it will go

gin I have asked to finish a week earlier on the 13th but haven't heard back from my boss yet I'm starting to worry about it

keep well done you should be proud :)

Well I don't know if I mentioned that after being written off my the whole medical profession as being depressed, my GP worked out that the reason I felt so crap/tired was due to medication side affects, so I have stopped the nausea meds and I am feeling alot better although a little sick again.

We put the cot up the other day and I'm feeling pretty excited about it all, only 8 more weeks to go :)

Hello!
Shazz well done on Shazlett's super weight gain, it must be very reassuring. And you're bound to feel overwhelmed and emotional I guess, but I'm pleased you're being mindful of your emotional health and have excellent sources of support if you need it. Are you recovering well from the section?
Keep sounds like you've had a good day! Well done! I'm afraid I'm fairly clueless about poo and expressing. Although I did make the schoolgirl error of reading a copy of Gina Ford's 'contented baby book' yesterday which includes military precision timings for feeds and expressing from pretty much week 1. I wish I hadn't because I know what I'm like - if I'm feeling a bit out of control (and I'm bound to once baby HY is here) I cling to routines like ports in a storm.
Gin could work on the tutu! I'm sure I'll end up with one too, Bella just looked so utterly adorable in hers. I know what you mean about feeling a bit 'odd' about the imminent arrival. I also can't wait for her to get here (it feels like Christmas Eve!) but I suppose it's the threat of the unknown. I'm not going to say 'fear' of the unknown as us hypnobirthers know no fear...
Ceara how was the Christmas shopping? Like gin I just went the online route this year. Spent a lovely hour wrapping them this afternoon actually :)
Hi to fairy, noks, crisps, sweetie, fairy, motor, onion, dildals, buzzy and anyone else I've missed.
So yes - nothing to report here other than an aggressively moving baby and what feels like more headbutts to the cervix. I'm sort of assuming I'll follow French timings and have her at 41 weeks, a thought echoed by my midwife. Not that I'm French or anything, just that this is more typical for a first time mum! Had my first 'any sign of any baby' text this morning. Can cope fine with them now but ask me at the end of the week how they're going down!! Don't mind you lot asking though - that's different!!
x

Hello lovely ladies. Here comes a special report from Noks Towers.

DP is currently upstairs putting the nursery furniture together. It is a momentous day (all I can hear is 'kinELL and loud banging so I assume that it's going well ). I have also purchased pads of varying descriptions (bed, foof and nork pads) which nine months ago, I had no idea existed. I expect to be a leaky old sieve in the next few weeks so folks had better have their waterproofs on whenever they encounter me, just in case I inadvertently squirt bodily fluids about their person. At least I'll have a variety of pads to clear it all up.

I have also just sung along to a Fleetwood Mac song on the radio and thought 'gosh, they were a good band'. I may need to counteract this by playing some NWA or Rage Against the Machine to make myself feel slightly cooler deluded old hag

Oh and the nipper is 2/5ths engaged. Wtf does this mean ? The doctor wasn't clear and Dr Google is about as clear as mud on the issue. Can any of you tell me what it means ? I am being constantly head butted in the bladder so I guess it means that his/her head has gone a bit lower into my pelvis ? His/her back/bum is still up against my ribs so does this mean I am having a giganto-baby ?

shazza it sounds as though Shazlett is doing marvellously well. It's hard but try to give yourself a pat on the back for everything you have achieved over the last couple of weeks. Do keep a check on your feelings but don't forget the small victories too, as they are so important. You can do it and you will do it - keep repeating this. You're going to be a lovely mum. Boys names are still proving a bit tricky in Noks Towers, well, unless you are DO and expect out child to step out of my womble and straight into a long boat to go pillaging in foreign lands. Ffs.

ceara you are beyond brave for Christmas shopping. I have done a vague list and bought some Christmas cards today but that's about it. You're going to LOVE maternity leave - I am just getting into it now but won't feel like I can totally relax until the nursery is done and the little sleep suits I have bought are all washed and hanging-up.

onion I hope Ringlet is behaving herself. How are you getting on ? I just wanted to say thanks again for the list - it has proven to be completely invaluable.

dildals heehee at Bella's explo-poop. Do all babies have exploding bottoms ?

keep sounds like Kip is doing well too. I will be interested to hear answers to putting her on an expressed bottle at his stage. I think fairy had some experience of this with DS1 - is that right fairy ?

mrsh all eyes are on you-hoo ! How are you feeling ? Ready ?

gin the Cake Monster has also come to visit me and stayed for about six months I totally agree with having something to do every day. I had a couple of lazy days this weekend (though one was because I was just so darn tired) but they felt wasted. Day time tv is also SHIT and so I took the opportunity to catch-up with the mighty Borgen and the last of Peaky Blinders (BRILLIANT BRILLIANT BRILLIANT). Anyone else watched them ?

buzz wtf are you ? Come OUT

crispy fabulous news that your girls are now home. They are super cute (loved that photo !). Have things settled down a bit now you are back in your casa ?

sweetie how are you doing ? Are you a bit more settled about the birth now they have agreed to a caesarean ?

Hi to motor and mad. Apologies if I have left anyone out.

Noks xx