Pregnant (IVF) Worriers/Warriors Part 4

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

beetle glad you have some answers but my heart still goes out to you. Well done to you both for finding some positivity, it really isnt easy.

I am ecstatic to have my two girls and can't believe how much I love them but I am really struggling. We are still in.hospital, Nancy is not feeding well and has bern put bk on a tube as she wasn't feeding well enough and lost weight. It broke my heart and noe ow I'm worried she won't be able to suck from a bottle a bottle again.

Oh crisps I'm sure she'll learn again. dildals will be the ng tube expert.

We are feeding every two hours at night. She feeds quickly but is cc bad at settling afterwards in the cot, fine while being held, so its v tiring. Dh not doing any night stuff at the mo as he's on long shifts. Tell me this is normal... I feel my boobs aren't as big, hoping there's still lots of milk but its just settling.

Who's next? Sweetie and gin?

Sorry, lost post halfway through, phone is,being a fucker. Just feel stuck here as though we are not making progress. Pearl has,maintained her weight ish which is good and feeds ok, but ended up on a,heat bed,yesterday after a sudden temperature drop. Dildals you are nails, how on earth did you cope with Bella,being in nicu for so long? I feel completely broken despite normally beong positive and to top it all off Thea hasn't had her mummy at home for over a week.now. Someone please tell me to stop being a dick, to man up,and that everything will be ok? This is horrific and endless. Sorry for the,mememe...

Shazza ..shazzlett is so cute!!! How are you getting on? Well done for being calm in theatre, I found my op really scary and cried pretty much the whole way throuhh, although I hafn't slept for four days by that point tbf. Hullooo to everyone else, who is technically next up?x

Onion...we used to put boiling water straight into.bottles,then take that out....then add the powder in just before feeding. Not quite guidelines but in a,sealed sterilised bottle thats pretty safe. Most of my friends did that too. If I was going out for ages or several feeds I used to use,ready made formula, which was expensive,but safe. Does ringlet need it warming.up or is,she ok with room temp?

I don't get it onion, she eats normal good, do you still need to be so careful? Doesn't she drink water etc. I assumed it was tony babies needing all that, but now I assume she shoved loads of stuff in her mouth. Am I missing something? probably

crisps DUDE your twins are doing fabulous! And I have seen lots of babies come through (I know this sounds wank but it's true! For 7 weeks I listened to all the stories, looked at all the other babies etc) TBH I was impressed they are feeding without tube AT ALL! 34 weekers shouldn't be able to do that (but they're girls, they're smarter!). She will take the bottle again after the tube, don't worry, they all do. You never see any 18yo with an NG tube. Sometimes it is literally a question of days. Bella had her NG tube taken out, had it back in 4 hrs later because she couldn't finish her bottles. 2 Days later they tried again and she was fine, managed to finish her bottles and breastfeed 24hrs. And now she's a total guzzler.

It is really normal to have one step fwd and a step back. And I totally know what you feel like being stuck there! But you will get out and by the sounds of it they are doing great.

Have the drs given you a potential discharge date? Bella came home at 35+6 which was pretty early, so maybe something to aim for?

But yes crisps I agree ... I am fucking NAILS! ;-)

onion Bella has started to go longer in the night which is ace, but as a result her routine has gone completely tits up. She used to be a fairly reliable 3 hr feeder, with an extra feed in the early evening and morning. Now she goes for longer in the night but wants to feed every hr during the day. It's confusing! Sometimes she just comes on the boob to comfort suck though and I don't want to breed a snacker so she has to tough it out sometimes (going for a walk usually shuts her up). I hope she settles in to routine soon. Last night though she fed 3 times ... arghhh ... I know what caused that though. I was out last night and DH had to feed her a bottle. She went APESHIT! She takes a bottle from my mum but DH just hasn't got the baby knack. She hasn't smiled at him yet and just screams her head off if he wants to feed her. I found them, him pretending to be asleep and she screaming her head off next to him, on her tummy. He had given up, couldn't take it anymore ... Oh. Dear. I will come in to his own as soon as she can hold a tennis racket.

keep yes afraid this is normal. Baby's stomach is still v small so lots of small feeds and they don't like to settle on their own. This too will pass! (Well ... for most ... onion) I think most people try swaddling/white noise etc, to teach baby to sleep on their own. I hugged Bella to sleep and then put her back in her cot, I also made sure I had a warm blanket around her so that I could put her back with blanket rather than in a cold cot. On the other hand don't let it stress you out too much, cuddling your newborn is one of the best feelings and they grow up fast.

Bella just weed on me. This girl can wee against gravity ...

Well I think you're all NAILS with your marathon but calm births, quick and surprising births, twinnery, endless feeding, controlled crying etc- we are the yoni warriors after all!
I think I'm technically 'up next' as am 39+1 today. I've just eaten an entire Hotel Chocolat slab (200g!!!!) and think I might barf. 1,000 calories for heaven's sake!! My poor, massive arse.

dildals thanks, it is sooo good to heara positive story, it gives me hope. It is probably the sleep deprivation but sometimes I feel,like we are getting nowhere. And seeing how,beautiful Bella.is now agter all that time in nicu is great motivation too!

We are all nails.

^

I have a sore throat and feel shit. I also feel really depressed and insane - I wonder if it's stopping breastfeeding that's done it?

crisps lovely, hang in there. It must be awful - and being away from DD1. I cried every night I was in (2) as I was so worried things wouldn't be just so for my precious first born. She was fine though. The twins sound fine though, it's amazing Pearl has maintained. (I really love the name Pearl. It's such a lovely sound.) I'm glad dildals can help though. She's an Expert by Experience - which is a ghastly term we use at work.

MrsHy that sounds both awful and great. It's never too late to develop gestational diabetes!

keep that's totally normal. In fact it was still normal forme until the other night but that won't happen to you! It's a slog this newborn bit.

dildals she's sounds like she's doing really well. It is honestly better she feed more in the day. I'm impressed she'll take a bottle off anyone. I'm missing the closeness of breastfeeding but am still carrying her round most of the time so there's still constant contact. My boobs are like painful boulders though. I'm expressing 100mls twice a day and trying to get my supply down. It's agony.

Anyway. Must get a bit of sleep and try to fight this bug off.

Love to all - especially Shazza!

Thanks for bottle tips crisps. She chews my slippers given half a chance but still I'm obsessed with sterilising.

keep that's 100% normal! DS fed every two hours for ages, which was exhausting. Pangolina goes much longer but at least the first few weeks she didn't want to go back in her basket and I let her sleep next to me most nights ( she'd start out in the basket in the evening). The basket was just too cold and scary for her I guess. Now at 6 weeks she will go in the basket at night but wants to sleep with me or in her pram during the day. Like dildals says, I wrap a blanket around her quite high up so she stays warm when I pit her down.

onion I seem to recall that at six months you don't need to sterilise bottles anymore, but I'm no expert.

crisps you are amazing, I would be a wreck! Dildals is the expert but I'm sure your girls are doing really well.

I've been rocking Pangolina, who is swaddled with her dummy in for 30 min and she's still just staring wide eyed at me, like she's thinking, "what next, Mummy?"

onion I love your DH texting you messages of encouragement from the sanctum of the spare room! Such is modern parenting!

Similarly, dildals - my DH has been known to pretend to be asleep rather than tending to the obviously screaming baboo as well. So clever! He has never grasped the knack of bouncing the baby to sleep. He just sits there with the baby on his knee, wailing. He just taught DS to ride a bike without stabilisers though so I forgive him.

fairy don't tell me it lasts for ages, tis not what I want to hear... Argh.

Ah now my DH is great at walking her to sleep. He paces round and round the house, up and down the stairs, until she drops off. Perhaps you could suggest that technique to them. This was in the pre cc days of course!

fairy how I dread those wide awake black looking eyes peeping up at me in the dark. I had it at 4am this morning but she had a bottle and cried for ten minutes and then slept until 6.45. My only concern is she's still drinking more milk during the night than the day, but it seems far easier getting up and giving her a bottle than her wanting a two hour long breastfeed.

You sterilise bottles up to a year keep apparently as they're harder to clean than cups etc and milk grows some particularly nasty bugs.

crisps I hope you're ok. Hang in there and you'll all be home soon.

ringlet is still asleep in her carseat from the school run. I should transfer her to her cot but I can't face it so I'm having a cuppa and a biscuit instead.

Hope everyone else is ok. (MrsHY, soon we can all start bellowing ANY NEWS at you.)

keep sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out! By "ages" I meant weeks. Things got steadily worse until about 6 weeks and then he settled down. And then he started smiling!

dildals thanks, it is sooo good to heara positive story, it gives me hope. It is probably the sleep deprivation but sometimes I feel,like we are getting nowherr. Mind you, Nancy just took a,whole,feed from me, no tube. I have an awesome transition nurse with me tonight called magic Hilary and we are going to try to ignore the tube if Nancy has,enough energy. Not too many tears tonight, I am doing well! Just soooo desperate for some progress so I can get home with Thea and DH.

My best to everyone going through ivf. We hope everything goes ok. Vince.

Well done crisps! Progress x

fairy I can cope with another three weeks, maybe... Tis knackering but such a lovely time too. I feel ok in the day but god, the middles of nights are hard, hey?

keep I can recommend getting the hang of feeding lying down at night.

Quick update....we are going home! Nancy obviousky hated the tube as,much as,we did as she refused to use it all yesterday AND guzzled everything overnight! Very unexpectrd but happy result. We are having follow up care from a specialist prem team. Can't bloody wait for my own house and to be back with my family! Thanks for enduring my mentalling......

Ah crisps I'm really delighted for you. That's quite amazing - well done to your girlies.

What with all the extra sleep I'm getting I'm hardly having chance to keep up with my internet activities. A strange side effect of switching to formula. Ringlet still wants all her milk at night so we do three feeds after she's officially gone to bed. What is WRONG with her!?

Hi girls

I'm coming up for air. I don't know how long I've got but I really wanted to try to catch up a little bit.

Crisps I know Ive said on FB but massive congrats on your beautiful girls. I love that they share a birthday with Shazlett. All day I've been thinking 'this time last week.....' In just under 2 hrs shazlett will be a week old. I hope that your girls will be feeding again in no time. It must be so hard especially with DD1 at home. You are being so brave. Hang in there honey. Your girls will get there. Sounds like you have lovely support in hospital. UPDATE: I've just got to your latest post hurrah!!!! You are going home. Marvellous news.

Keep I know how you feel about feeding. I'm so worried about it. I have the sleepiest baby in the world. I have to rouse her to feed and she falls asleep at the breast. Do you wake kip to Feed or does she wake alone? shazlett easily sleeps for 3hours at a time. God knows what is 'normal'. It must be hard if you are doing the nights on your own. My mum sat up with me for the first 3 nights cause DP has been setting up his new show at the gallery during the day. Shazlett does sleep in the Moses basket. The bedside cot is way to huge for her at the mo. have you tried warming the cot with a hot water bottle before you put her in and I also did the pillow case that I'd slep on trick. Actually I wore a muslin up my top for a day and she sleeps on that. I don't think my boobs are big either. And also do you use both boobs at every feed? The MW said no need but the Nct helpline that I called in a panic the other day said I must. Aaagghhhh! Like dildals I've been using white noise. There is a dark corner of our kitchen where the boiler is and at 3 in the morning I take her there and it's like being in the womb. Or as close as I can imagine that is.

Onion i hope you are feeling better. well done with the cc. I think that if I were bottle feeding I would also be following guidelines. Why wouldn't you? You are right we are all warriors. In one way Ive never felt so vulnerable but on the other hand I've never felt so powerful.

Hello to everyone else. My mum is making dinner so I think my time is nearly up. Sorry for lack of other personals. Needless to say I'm thinking of you all and am missing participating in our gang so much. I promise to be back.

Just quickly to say that we are fine in our baby bubble. I'm very tearful. I just feel so overwhelmed everytime I look at her. I feel that I'm seeing the rest of her life stretching out in front of her every time I gaze at her face. And I see her face everywhere now. It's still hard cause I'm not very mobile. I'm doing much better but I can't get out of bed on my own or pick anything up that is too low. I had a nap earlier and woke in a dark room. I had a sense of what it must be like for shazlett. I was looking around at the room from my immobile position. I had to call for DP to help. At her weigh in shazlett had lost 11% of her weight. Only slightly over what it should be and the MW isn't worried but I was very upset that I'm not looking after her properly. BFing is ok in that my nips are fine. It doesn't hurt but I'm worried she isn't getting enough. I've bought a my Brest friend which is an amazing help with comfort and latch.

Re birth. Yes I ended up so far off plan. Basically I was in early labour since the Sunday before. Had surges pretty constantly all week. Was up every night except the Wednesday so by the time Saturday came I hadn't slept for 3 nights. I had to transfer cause after the sweep I bled heavily and didn't stop. Turned out after a week of surges id only managed to dilate 2cms. Transferred at midnight by 5am was on the drip. By 8 PM was still only 9.5cms and couldn't get any further. Turned out shazlett was back to back with her head cocked so was stuck. There was only one way out and it wasn't via the gift shop. Even though in a way it was the extreme opposite of my hopes I couldn't have had a better experience. I used the Hypno right up until the end and DP said that in theatre I was cracking jokes and chatting to everyone by name. All in all it was brilliant and the happiest day of my life.

Well dinner is here so I have to go. I've also written an epic post. Sorry about that. Now that I've caught up ill join in more frequently.

Much love to all xx

Hi girls

I'm coming up for air. I don't know how long I've got but I really wanted to try to catch up a little bit.

Crisps I know Ive said on FB but massive congrats on your beautiful girls. I love that they share a birthday with Shazlett. All day I've been thinking 'this time last week.....' In just under 2 hrs shazlett will be a week old. I hope that your girls will be feeding again in no time. It must be so hard especially with DD1 at home. You are being so brave. Hang in there honey. Your girls will get there. Sounds like you have lovely support in hospital. UPDATE: I've just got to your latest post hurrah!!!! You are going home. Marvellous news.

Keep I know how you feel about feeding. I'm so worried about it. I have the sleepiest baby in the world. I have to rouse her to feed and she falls asleep at the breast. Do you wake kip to Feed or does she wake alone? shazlett easily sleeps for 3hours at a time. God knows what is 'normal'. It must be hard if you are doing the nights on your own. My mum sat up with me for the first 3 nights cause DP has been setting up his new show at the gallery during the day. Shazlett does sleep in the Moses basket. The bedside cot is way to huge for her at the mo. have you tried warming the cot with a hot water bottle before you put her in and I also did the pillow case that I'd slep on trick. Actually I wore a muslin up my top for a day and she sleeps on that. I don't think my boobs are big either. And also do you use both boobs at every feed? The MW said no need but the Nct helpline that I called in a panic the other day said I must. Aaagghhhh! Like dildals I've been using white noise. There is a dark corner of our kitchen where the boiler is and at 3 in the morning I take her there and it's like being in the womb. Or as close as I can imagine that is.

Onion i hope you are feeling better. well done with the cc. I think that if I were bottle feeding I would also be following guidelines. Why wouldn't you? You are right we are all warriors. In one way Ive never felt so vulnerable but on the other hand I've never felt so powerful.

Hello to everyone else. My mum is making dinner so I think my time is nearly up. Sorry for lack of other personals. Needless to say I'm thinking of you all and am missing participating in our gang so much. I promise to be back.

Just quickly to say that we are fine in our baby bubble. I'm very tearful. I just feel so overwhelmed everytime I look at her. I feel that I'm seeing the rest of her life stretching out in front of her every time I gaze at her face. And I see her face everywhere now. It's still hard cause I'm not very mobile. I'm doing much better but I can't get out of bed on my own or pick anything up that is too low. I had a nap earlier and woke in a dark room. I had a sense of what it must be like for shazlett. I was looking around at the room from my immobile position. I had to call for DP to help. At her weigh in shazlett had lost 11% of her weight. Only slightly over what it should be and the MW isn't worried but I was very upset that I'm not looking after her properly. BFing is ok in that my nips are fine. It doesn't hurt but I'm worried she isn't getting enough. I've bought a my Brest friend which is an amazing help with comfort and latch.

Re birth. Yes I ended up so far off plan. Basically I was in early labour since the Sunday before. Had surges pretty constantly all week. Was up every night except the Wednesday so by the time Saturday came I hadn't slept for 3 nights. I had to transfer cause after the sweep I bled heavily and didn't stop. Turned out after a week of surges id only managed to dilate 2cms. Transferred at midnight by 5am was on the drip. By 8 PM was still only 9.5cms and couldn't get any further. Turned out shazlett was back to back with her head cocked so was stuck. There was only one way out and it wasn't via the gift shop. Even though in a way it was the extreme opposite of my hopes I couldn't have had a better experience. I used the Hypno right up until the end and DP said that in theatre I was cracking jokes and chatting to everyone by name. All in all it was brilliant and the happiest day of my life.

Well dinner is here so I have to go. I've also written an epic post. Sorry about that. Now that I've caught up ill join in more frequently.

Much love to all xx