Pregnant (IVF) Worriers/Warriors Part 4

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

I'm so sorry beetle, everything crossed for you here too.

beetle oh I'm sorry this has happened, I so hope everything will be all right somehow. We're all here for you and the babies.

mrs and buzzy I was plagued by "feminine itching" my whole pregnancy, mostly along the crease of my thighs. I assumed it was because I was warmer and sweatier than usual. Never found a cure unfortunately, although keeping as cool as possible and putting talcum on the area helped a bit. I used canesten as well although I'm positive it wasnt thrush .

dildals Pangolina definitely cries and definitely does not sleep through the night! She is easier and calmer than DS was though so I am grateful for that. I was hopeless about getting DS to sleep through properly, he didn't really until he was almost two and I was zombie mummy.

Your friend just sounds caring to me although depression and sadness are very different things. Sadness about losing Georgia is to be expected, even a good thing possibly in terms of "dealing with" it. I hope the funeral goes the way you want it.

shazza what a frustrating night! Hope tonight is more fruitful. At least you know something is happening.

beetle, I'm so sorry this is happening, I'm crossing everything for you all and thinking of you.

beetle don't worry about me me me postings, we're here for rants, support, words of silliness and occasional words of wisdom. Anytime you like come on here and tell us what you are feeling, we will be here to listen and won't judge. It's strange but sometimes it's easier to talk to people you don't really know IRL or that are a few steps removed.

Now. On a positive note. You are able to regenerate amniotic fluid and if the leak is small it might seal itself. I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you that it will seal itself. Kepp us posted Beetle. Hugs & xxx.

Seconded.

Dildals I went through the phase of grief where people kept saying I was depressed and should be on medication. All except my GP who said I was experiencing a very normal reaction to loss and she was sorry but only time would help, and she was right. In so glad grandma could do a night shift, does B still look like her?

Shazz hope you're busy but if not it's good to remember that every surge is getting the baby a little bit more ready to come out so none are in vain. You sound like you're coping marvelously in your Tracy Emin bed. I hope you changed the sheets.

sweetie I am delighted you've got the go ahead for an ELCS. I hope that's a weight off your mind. Health Visitors are now all about whole family health so that's why she was asking you all that guff. I had similar, I ended up accidentally making DH sound like a miserable workaholic alcoholic - then I realised he probably was!

Feed number one started at midnight tonight. This means I have already had three hours sleep. That would have felt totally impossible just a couple of nights ago. Loved the controlled miaowing Buzzy, poor Buzzycat. For true authenticity you must hide in another room crying.

mrshy (or Mr Shy as I think of you!) commiserations on the feminine itching. I have no experience to share but it sounds horrible. Hope you get some relief soon.

Oh my goodness Beetle. I'm so sorry and like the others am thinking of you and the twins. Praying for you.

Still no baby here. I'm pulling another all nighter surges were quite regular from 10pm - 3 ish then nothing. However it is very uncomfortable if I lay down so am having to remain sitting up in bed (yes sheets were changed this morning ). I think that psychologically shazlett and I are holding off tonight as I found out yesterday afternoon that none of my MW team are on call tonight and we would have had a random come if I went into active labour. If we hold off until 8am then my team will be back on. DP is sleeping. No point in him sitting up. He will be much more use to me tomorrow if he has slept.

Thinking of you all and will post personals in the morning. Xx

beetle hope you are ok, how terrifying but I really hope that this is just a little leak and that you will be fixed and on the mend very soon. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

dildals don't forget that people are fucktards. I was told that I wasn't making enough effort to be chatty to sil eight days after losing Freya and that I was obviously 'wallowing'. You are doing a fab job of being a mummy and are a lot more active than I could ever be arsed to be (Running with the pram as a prime example, you nutter!). Grief is grief, and there are some times when it will be really hard...this doesn't necessariy mean that you are depressed. Talking about Georgia is a positive thing if you feel like it. Your friend probably means well but I'd have been fuming if someone had tried to engage in a chat with DH about me. What was his take on it?

sweetie glad you are more happy with your plan now. Hvs are bonkers if you ask me, they have lots of random boxes to check depending on the project of the month. I was added to a child at risk list bcs I had a baby walker in the kitchen that my friend had dropped off...hv was worried that dd would climb onto it and up onto the side where my knives were. Despite being 6mo and not able to crawl at that point.

shazza you seem to be having an epic one....bet you are shattered. Get on the lucozade! Have you been in the mtv cribs hot tub yet? Have you got enough maize for the duration?

mrsHY i have the same problem...no advice but if you find a solution do let me know! I did wonder whether it was to do with having lots of baths and skin being more sensitive?

onion how was last night?

Thinking of you beetle and hoping that you are getting all the help and support you need and that the twins are ok. X

Thinking of you too shazza and hoping that shazzlett makes her appearance soon and that you are keeping your head above water. You seem to be calm, which is impressive. X

Oh beetle I'm so sorry. Hoping and praying for you all.

The jaundice is gone, weight going on nicely, so we've stopped the top ups with expressed milk and back to demand feeding yawn

Someone asked how I'm finding it? I've been quite worried and stressed by the feeding and jaundice. People say to trust your instinct but I have found that hard after the interventions. Now I am feeling much more confident. I found bf v sore for the first few days (another one saying buy lansinoh!) But she has a good strong latch and we are quite good at it now. But I am just loving it

Oops. Cuddling her is amazing. Dh is besotted, surprising even himself how fast it happened. Walking out with her I am so proud we are hereat last, a little family. So lucky. Lack of sleep is crazy, I think it's harder as its winter and always dark, but I guess we'll get used to it.

I was/am sad at the end of my pregnancy. I don't exactly know whatwhat or why, as I adore her, but I like bed being pregnant, and maybe that it was unexpected, and very quick labour, it was quite a shock. I also get emotional when I think how things are passing by, she'll not be 1 day old again etc.

Glad noks and gin are enjoying ML. I only had a week and didn't do anything on my list...

keep Sounds like you are doing great. Enjoy every minute of it. I can say: You do get used to the sleep deprivation! Kip will settle in to a bit more of a routine and you'll figure out her cues so the feeds will get a bit more spaced out. (You will feel like you might as well walk around with your boobs out the entire time though). It's an emotional time and you'll be emotional, I think a lot of people have that.
Cuddling your baby is so AWESOME isn't it? Nuzzling the top of her head, pinching those cheeks and thighs...biggest time wasters ever, babies!

Ah keep you just brought a year to my eye. Lovely isn't it and yes you do get used to far less sleep and they are worth every second. I still pass hours of time each week playing with Ringlet's weeny toes and blowing raspberries on her tummy and she entertains herself poking my eyes and grabbing my face. It's all one big getting to know you session!

crisps is bang on. The vast majority of people are total fucktards. Nobody understands the loss of a baby unless they've been there and although there are good intentions behind some of the comments they can be so horribly wounding.

shazz I hope things continue to progress. I think slow is better than super fast (maybe keep agrees!). Thinking of you though.

beetle I hope you are being looked after well. You're in my thoughts too.

Can I brag about my night? Ok go on then. She slept 8-12, 1-3 and 4-6.30. She only fed twice (for an hour each time) and I had three lots of sleep. More than I've had in the seven months since she was born, I think I got about six hours. By god, controlled crying's horrible but it works. Unfortunately, she's in a vile mood today but I've just dosed her with Calpol and now she's sleeping on my lap and I think I'll let her stay there for now. I suspect teething or earache. Also how come I have six hours sleep and wake up with two spots and a mouth ulcer?

A TEAR to my eye. Not a year. Ducking autocorrect. Or FUCKING even. My iPhone won't let me swear. I've never once used the word 'ducking' and use 'fucking' all the time yet it always 'corrects' it. Bastard thing.

Yeah right, bet you spend your weekends ducking...

I am trying to work up courage to bite her tiny fingernails, but can't bring myself to... Any advice?? Dh wants to use a nail file, but I'm worried we would scrape her soft skin...

You can get teeny nail clippers from mothercare and I think tesco type places...or if you do it after a bath they will be softer and you can kind of peel them away quite easily keep.

Virtual hellos to shazza and beetle wherever you may be. Have had the strongest of bloody b hicks this afternoon, proper leaning over the balcony and groaning type ones. The gruesome twosome had better stay out for a but longer yet but getting a bit worried. Hmm. Going to do some knitting and try to ignore it.

Hi beetle. i'm no expert but that sounds relatively positive I think? As in it could rectify itself within time? Glad you are being looked after, tiake it easy, thinking of you lots!

beetle good to hear that it's not hopeless although I imagine you are now in for a long wait? I hope you are comfortable in the hospital at least.

shazza how are you? another night of surges or...

keep I felt the same way the first week or two after Pangolina was born. Swooningly happy with her but somehow also melancholic and sad. The change from being pregnant one day to having a baby the next is so extreme and as you say, you really had very little time to get used to being on mat leave etc. And as you say there are all these little 'milestones' that will never happen again, eg her first day. I still feel this way about DS's growing up even though it is less poignant. For every thing that they accomplish you also feel a sense of loss as they continually move away from you and towards their own future. I remember feeling very sad when DS started solids because he was no longer wholly dependent on me to feed him. On the other hand, when he finally mastered cycling without stabilisers the other day I was jubilant.

Also the hormonal swing from being pregnant to not is enormous. I read somewhere that it is the same as when your period starts every month but much more intense, hence the PMT like feelings.

However the cuddling does make up for it! I never anticipated how much physical satisfaction I would take in my babies, it really is delicious.

as for nail trimming, I have nibbled Pangolina's a bit and peeled them off. I tried filing but keeping her hand still was impossible. I'm trying to get used to the sharp little claws.

onion congrats on the six hours' sleep!

beetle sweetheart I am thinking of you and praying for your gorgeous boys xxx

Oh and dildals just to add that I think you are amazing to be arranging the funeral and coping with everything else. Of course you are sad. But you are incredibly strong and resourceful. A real inspiration. Xx

How much filth does a baby gather in between fingers, in ears and under arm pits!?! I had to put the bins out after this clean.

beetle I've no experience of that kind of medical issue but I have been in awful wait and see positions. Try and find a mindless distraction to occupy you. I'm thinking of you.

dildals god yes. Mainly ears here, wax and milk, mmmm. I cleaned them thoroughly last night which was very satisfying.

Tiny clippers are easy fairy. Oh and without stabilizers?! Very good. DD1 can barely manage a balance bike and forgets how to scoot whenever she doesn't go on her scooter for a couple of weeks. She's hopeless!

Thinking of you too shazz.

at Dildals and mucky pup Bella. You wouldn't think new babies could get so soiled. Bless her.

Beedle you and your boys are in my thoughts, it must be so difficult for you all.

fairy I can imagine every milestone you pass feel very poignant, does it feel different this time around?

Onions well done on the 6 hours the other night, has this continued?

Shazza hope you are ok and everything going well, thinking of you.

I have been for reflexology this morning and she has given me some cervix softening herbal pills to start taking (1 pill twice a week!!) plus says I am good to start on the raspberry leaf capsules. She also recommends eating dates as this also can have the desired effect, she also said to pack dates in my hospital bag as they are a quick energy fix without the sugar spike of chocolate. I have my oil burner on with sweet orange to lift mood and relax me. I don't think these things can do any harm. She did also suggest the clary sage rubbed into bump, not neat obviously. Crisps & Shazza is this how you have been using it?

sweetie I haven't been using clary sage yet as it can bring on cnontractions andI'd rather they stayed put for a bit longer but I guess if a professional has given you advice then that's good. I haven't actually got any in stock, think I will probaby just stick to my sweet orange. I'd personally be a bit cautious of dates, aren't they a natural laxative? (or is that prunes...are they the same thing??) They would probably get things moving but I'm not sure I'd be pleased with the result!! That said I think I may try anything in a couple of weeks, am thoroughly fed up with being pregnant now that I know they would be ok if they came out in a day or two.

dildals dd is addicted to havng her ears cleaned with cotton buds. Now she is only allowed to have them done on Wednesdays and Sundays as otherwise she moans and begs. I love cleaning her up even now, perhaps I am slightly odd. It used to send her to sleep when she was a baby. Didn't realise how odd this was until I just wrote it down!