Pregnant (IVF) Worriers/Warriors Part 4

[Buzzybee123]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

gin and noks well done on making good your escapes on Friday. I am due to work until Christmas so am almost bound to have the holiday feeling initially. You will have to tell me how long it takes to sink in that this is maternity leave and not your average week off!

So I have five weeks to go and my work "to do" list is getting longer not shorter. Surely something's not right there...

foody congratulations on reaching double figures and yaay to extra scans and reassuringly wriggy beans. Hope the medication helped and you are feeling more human today.

sweetie good luck with your consultant appointment. It is very unfair that the postcode lottery seems to be coming back to bite you - as if coping with the infertility postcode lottery isn't enough. Please, please make sure they know how anxious this is making you and about the panic attacks. It can be so hard to be our own advocate about these things as the natural instinct is to attend appointments all pulled together and say "I'm fine, doctor". Their elective c-section stats should not be more important than your mental state. And if the balanced medical advice, taking all that into account, is still that attempting vaginal birth is the best option for you and the babies then please press for all the support you need to help with the anxieties.

keep I'm glad the jaundice seems to be headed in the right direction but sorry about the feeding issues. No experience therefore no advice to offer, but thinking of you.

beetle being back in the UK for the last months of pregnancy and your babies' arrival, getting back in your own house, having family support - all sounds amazing :-) If you are worried about the risks of flying in the late second trimester and medical advice doesn't reassure, like others have said could you come back a few weeks ahead of DH? Not ideal but if you have family support around until he's back, and somewhere to stay until your tenants vacate....

onion yaay to better sleep last night. Good luck with controlled crying (take two) tonight.

Hi to everyone else and shazz, I hope all is good with you.

Morning All

Thanks for all the encouragement and good wishes. Sadly still no baby here. The cramps were constant all day yesterday and last night but then have eased this morning. TMI information alert! I haven't had any mucous come out yet, but it is brown when I wipe. Is that normal? I haven't had any bleeding throughout the pregnancy so I'm assuming that because things are moving inside this is probably brown blood just like when you start your period. It's funny cause the cramps were like the very strong period pain that I get and usually I would have taken painkillers but I kept thinking that this is only the beginning and what I used to consider to be quite painful was actually not that bad.

Yesterday we walked into the Hood to a cafe but it took AGES! I was really slow and dying for a wee by the time we arrived. We'll go for another walk today although unfortunately it looks abit rainy. I don't want to sit around though. I'd rather try to get things moving.

On that note, Crisps do you think that I can start with the Clary Sage today? I was wondering if it might help if I put a couple of drops onto the burner. Or maybe I should try it in a bath? I've just read that you mix it with milk first before putting it in the bath. But I'm not sure if I should keep it until I'm actually properly in labour? Glad you are enjoying the crochet. I'm still hoping to finish the mobile before Shazlett puts in an appearance.

Noks Congrats on maternity leave. Enjoy your first day off. how was the bingo? I used to love going to the bingo with my nan. Although in them days we used to go to the local church hall. All the old ladies used to do things like quack when the caller said 2 little ducks! Thanks for the encouragement. Time has gone so fast. I also remember posting my news, it was Friday 8th March. Re the oils, I posted a couple of days ago about my ones. To recap I've got clary sage to augment/assist surges (contractions), Lavender for relaxation, Sweet Orange for mood uplifting and Jasmine to assist with delivery of the placenta. I'm also drinking 3 cups of Raspberry leaf tea to tone the uterus apparently. I'm enjoying the 'woo' factor

Sweets good luck for your meeting with the consultant today. Cost very well may be a factor but your health and the health of the babies should come first.

Keep I hope that Kip is recovering from the jaundice. When you say that you have only slept for 90 mins I assume that is at a time not in total? That would be epic! We also managed to DTD yesterday morning . Well I thought Sod it, this very well may be the last time for a while and also it might help things along. If I can persuade him I might even try again today! The MW said to me that Michel Odent says that what got the baby in will get the baby out.

Fairy, like you I think now that these pains could last a few days. At least it is starting off and fingers crossed that like Pangolina, Shazlett will come of his/her own accord in the next week.

Foodie, glad that something has helped the sickness and congratulations on 10 weeks and your scan. Great news.

Onion, I hope that the tough love diet goes well today.

Beetle I can't help with the advice about flying I'm afraid. Are you pleased to come back?

My MW has just called me to see how I'm going and I've realised that she is now off until next monday so unfortunately she will probably miss the big event. Luckily all the team are lovely and so I will be well looked after but its a shame that she will miss it after looking after me so far. She said that she is really sad to probably miss out so that is sweet.

Well I'd better go and wake up DP who is sleeping in conserving his energy ready to give birth . I've got a feeling that Shazlett is like his dad and is enjoying a last lie in before the hard work of coming out begins.

xx

Posting in haste as about to meet someone for coffee (the joys of mat leave!!) but Shazz- just wanted to say I'm thinking of you- definitely sounds like things are moving in the right direction even if currently on the slow side :). Good chance to practice your up breathing :).
Which reminds me- I have copied out some of my favourite affirmations on bits of a4 to stick around the lounge for when the time comes. They are the ones that most resonate with me so may differ for you, but I can email them to you if useful? I've been finding that if any doubts creep in a little read of them puts me on the straight and narrow again

Oh and hi to everyone else!! Proper post later....

Hello mrshy. That's a great idea and would be lovely thanks. Ill PM you my email address. Enjoy your tea with your friend. I've decided to get out with DP and am currently on a bus going to Brixton for lunch. I didn't want to stay in on my own.

You're a cool customer shazza! Hope you enjoyed your lunch. Sounds like things are moving in the right direction. Its a bit of a shame your mw will not be there but excellent that you like them all. That's very reassuring.

MrsHy I hope you had a nice outing too. I'm jealous of all this lunching and the like.

Tough love was good at lunchtime. 15 minutes crying resulted in 30 minute nap in her COT which I've even moved into her OWN ROOM. I dread to think what will happen tonight. I'm currently feeding her and will put her down afterwards in her cot instead of letting her just snuggle into me. Argh. This is so bloody hard...

Well it was hard and she fed five times during the night, but there was not that much actually crying and some grozzlinh that I ignored. I did actually get some sleep in my own bed in between feeds which was great. I feel this must be a big step forward. Our bedroom looks massive without the cot.

Shazza I hope things have continued to move in the right direction.

onion I totally understand your struggle with Ringlet. Pangolina sometimes goes happily into her basket but sometimes (like this morning) she won't settle unless she's lying right next to me in bed (thank god for my kindle, which I can read with one hand). Do any babies actually happily sleep on their own without being nursed into unconsciousness or at the least with a dummy?

keep hope you're getting a bit more sleep!

hi everyone else!

Morning all

Very exciting night became a more disappointing morning.

I was up ALL night timing surges. Started at about midnight. We called the MW at 4.45 when surges were about 1 min and 2.30-3 mins apart and she told me to take a paracetamol have a bath and call her in an hour. Unfortunately that all slowed things down so I texted her again at 7.45 to say that it had got more erratic and she said that this is latent/early labour and to try to sleep as I hadn't put my head down all night.

Just woken up now so managed to sleep for 3 hours or so but last surge 8.15 so no baby. It's all gone quiet in there.

I feel abit rank now. It was cosy last night with the burner and candles but now this bed feels like a pit alla Tracy emin. I think im going to get up, get showered and try to go for a walk even though at the moment that feels like the last thing I want to do.

I felt all the surges in my back and lower pelvis which I didn't expect. It was uncomfortable but not unmanageable. I kept wondering if I was doing it right. With every surge i really wanted to do a number 2. I can see now why you poo as the baby comes out. I let DP sleep for abit and woke him up at 3.30. Time went very fast. I remember looking at the clock when I was on the ball at 1am and then the night sped away. I really wanted to lie down but it was much more uncomfortable lying down so after I woke up DP we sat propped up in bed. It was really nice in a funny way and I got the giggles at one point.

Onion glad last night wasn't so bad.

Beetle can your dr give you advice about flying home? Sounds like maybe you should try to come before DH. Were you planning to come back for Xmas anyway?

Hello to everyone else.

More later ladies. Hopefully with a baybee in tow

Oh Shazz! Come on Shazlett - pull your finger out!! Obviously he/she's keen to meet you on the one hand, but he/she's very comfortable in the warmth of your womble (it was a very cold night last night after all). A walk may well help get things going again but please don't overdo it or go anywhere on your own. Looks like Noks, Dildals, Gin and I are still heading to Streatham tomorrow for a coffee, so let us know if you'd like us to bring some collapsible chairs so we can pull up some ring-side seats to your birthing pool, Daily Mail style. :) xx

sweetie I have a letter from my consultant saying I can have an ELCS next time. I can scan you a copy and perhaps you can doctor it for your own use? ;-)

fairy glad to hear also Pangolina throws a few curve balls. I always get a bit worried when I hear people saying 'oh my baby sleeps thru the night , never cries etc etc'!!! ;-)

shazz I was thinking of Tour de France type encouragement. We paint your name and encouraging slogans on the road. You go for a walk. In all seriousness though, baby will come when baby's ready. You can go for walks, guzzle down castor oil, have sex, whatevs, baby will come when it's ready. The 'poo' signs are good though, means baby is defo on its way down.

My mum has gone back home now. And. Wait for it. She did the night shift last night with B!!! I felt a bit bad putting a 60yo women through this, but I think she actually enjoyed it! I checked in at 6 this morning and the both of them were snuggled up in bed looking v cosy! :-)
The night before I was saying to DH that I now understand why PND typically kicks in at a later stage, rather than straight at birth. I meant to say that taking care of a young baby is a war of attrition. It's lovely but the compounded lack of sleep as well as having no time to yourself does build up. I didn't mean to say I think I am developing a depression!!! Turns out one of my friends called him yesterday afternoon saying she is 'worried' about me. I had told her about that I am organising the funeral at the moment, and that, as you can imagine, is hard. Organising the funeral is hard and is sad, but it is also sort of good in a way, if that makes sense. Also I posted a poem on FB, which made her cry. She put those things together and thought these were 'red flags'. I appreciate her caring about me, but I am just grieving, I am just sad, that's all, and those feelings are totally OK, as far as I am concerned! Anyway. DH thought he'd better get gramma to do a nightshift to let me catch up on sleep :-).

shazza little shazlett is being a tease, hope things get going soon for you

mrsh you made me nearly spit out my spatone with your ring side seat comment.

dildals it must be a very tough time for you, the poem did make me cry it was so beautiful, I think grandmas quite like to get a little involved, I could imagine my pil's giving it a go. I wouldn't stop them either

onion sounds like you are making progress with the cc, I am trying cm [controlled meowing] the cat can throw an almighty tantrum about having her treats early, I don't stand a hope in hell with an actual baby

ceara I am finishing at xmas too, although tempted to finish earlier, I am counting down the days literally, 21 more working days wahoo

beetle hope you get home soon, nothing like being home especially at this stage

madness hope you are ok, you have been rather quiet

noks I shall let you know when I am ready for baby so you can 'dark' for me

fairy you have reminded me that I have to buy dummies :)

hello to motor I hope you are ok too

keep glad you are home with kip and hope the jaundice clears up soon

jealous of the meet up, I could have wagged the day used A/L

sweetie I don't really see how they can say no to ecs to be honest, if that is what you want then they really can't dictate to you otherwise

well I had an appointment with the consultant, nice man, we discussed my low lying placenta and a cs if it doesn't move, he also discussed induction again due to my age and ivf, to be honest I don't mind that now or the cs, i'm ready to have a baby now, kind of over being pregnant.

I am planning to get a few bits ready for my hospital bag this weekend, tidy up in the nursery a bit too :)

Buzzy how many weeks are you now? When will they induce you?

Dildals I think it is lovely that your DM wants to be involved and do the night shift. I hope this rest really helped you out. It must be so difficult to have so much going on without lack of sleep added to the mix too. I am sure your friend was concerned, it is good to know she is looking out for you. Your poem made me weep too.

MrsH at birthing pool ring side seats, don't forget the maize snacks!!!

Shazza you are doing an amazing job, it all sounds very imminent now. Hope you are looking after yourself and managing to rest up too. Little shazzlette is obviously very cosy in there at the moment. Thinking of you all.

Dildals I don't need your consultants letter, but thank you for the very kind offer. The 2nd consultant has said yes to ELCS!!!! She was very facts & figures but nice with it and wanted to make sure I was fully informed of the risks from both sides. But she has written it in my notes in big letters and will let my consultant know. I feel like a massive weight has been lifted. I can still try for a natural birth, this is what she strongly suggested, but have the ELCS option as back up. They won't book ELCS until 38 weeks so I think things may happen before then anyway.

Health visitor has been this afternoon too, she seemed very nice. I am now the proud owner of 2 red books. She did ask some bizarre questions. She asked if we had had happy childhoods, what age we left school & do we feel lucky - those we the most bizarre questions I thought. She didn't ask to look around the house, even though I had tidied and cleaned for all I was worth. An interesting point she did make was regarding falling asleep on sofa with baby causing more accidental deaths than babies in beds in our city, we were quite shocked by this.

sweetie red books ?? YAY to be allowed the option of elcs, I wouldn't be induced until 40 weeks so 10 more weeks to go, they are rather strange questions, the sort I thought they would ask you if you were adopting

sweetie hurrah that the consultant agreed to the ELCS! Could you still have one if things start a bit earlier? I can't believe they have put you through the stress of having to fight for one. A health visitor visit hasn't been mentioned to us, so I guess they don't do them round here

buzz pleased to hear that you now don't mind the thought of induction or CS. Like you, I now just want the baby safely here. For some reason I am rather nervous about her getting here ok. Guess it's a side affect of long term ttc. Are you still feeling a bit better?

dildals I totally agree that you are allowed to be sad and grieve the loss of your baby, without meaning that you have PND. Organising a funeral is tough for anyone, but particularly so when it's your child. I just could't imagine it. Big hugs. I think you are managing amazingly. Guess the friend was only trying to be helpful, but I'd have been pissed off with her going to DH. But at least you got a good nights sleep out of it!

Speaking of which, pleased to hear CC is going well onion.

Haha buzz at controlled meowing!

Am thinking of shazz and hoping little shazzlet is being pushed out today. All v exciting. So who's bringing the maize snacks for the ring side seats?

beetle I think it would be nice to be at home and to have all that support on hand, particularly having twinnies.

Hello to everyone else.

We had a MW appt yesterday, which was a bit deflating really. She reckoned that I couldn't do anything to make the baby turn and that the baby will do what she wants! We went through my ideal birth plan (depressing) and then my bump was measured small for the dates. Obviously this is utter bollocks as ginster is a bit of a beast according to the growth scan, but she still had to check with FMU that I didn't need an emergency scan. Due to the gbs snd breech position, if my waters go, I have to get to hospital ASAP and can't wait for DH. So will need to find a taxi co that will take me dripping bodily fluids! Anyway, moan over. Think I'm just at the stage that I want the baby to be here and everything to be ok.

Mat leave is ace. It's nice not to feel utterly worn out the whole time and to have time to do stuff like cooking and baking and getting the baby's room ready. I've had cake almost every day and watched lots of shite tv. And am looking forward to some more cake with you ladies tomorrow :) noks are you enjoying your time off??

GAH BALL BAGS, just wrote a massive post, hit the wrong button on this useless laptop and lost the whole lot. Poo heads.
Suffice to say I am thinking of you all, dildals, onion, fairy, ceeara, beetle, keep, shazz, noks, gin, sweetie, foody, motorcycle. I am about to start a new thread which is somewhat embarrassing but this problem is driving me round the bend... time to talk FEMININE ITCHING ladies. Do hop on and offer me any words of advice! x

beetle my lovely thinking of you, hope all will be ok

mrsh I have feminine itching, have for ages thought it was because I was letting my yoni go feral, niknoks will not approve

Buzzy hello to you too! Gah, sorry I forgot you. My yoni is actually quite neat at present so it's not that.
Beetle I'm so sorry and I'm thinking of you. We'll be here to chat if you want to. Where in the world are you again? x

beetle I'm thinking of you, and hoping and praying you and the twins will be ok. X

Oh beetle. I'm so sorry and keeping everything crossed for you and the twins x

beetle just to mirror what the others have said. Absolutely everything crossed for you x x

Am just on my way to lazy Daisy class. Will do a proper post later but wanted to wish beetle all the best of luck. Am thinking of you and the twins and keeping everything crossed for you all. Xx

Beetle thinking of you at this time.