PG after MC? Posifrickitivity and handholding aplenty

[WhatWillSantaBring]

Hello again - another shiny new thread for the batsh*t crazy women going through the stress and emotional rollercoaster that is being pregnant after a miscarriage.

Fingers crossed for lots of happy scans and boring pregnancies.

wow snot twins! Amazing news! Double congratulations!

tea glad you've reached a decision. saggy that was a lovely post.x

Congratulations snot and Liesl

Sorry if this sounds a bit "my diamond shoes are too tight.." but on hols in Majorca at the moment and really struggling with the heat. I have a sweaty upper lip which just won't go away and is now all red like a moustache and stingy, feel like a big sweaty whale I had stupidly thought late Sept would just be warm but it was 30 degrees today uck!

(sorry such a whinger)

Birds - will tell my two bosses tmrw. Sad you've to tell a lady who's had 2 mc's. that's difficult- kind and thoughtful of you to tell her on the Friday afternoon though
so she can have some time to feel sad.

Wow snot, two!! How exciting!

Yes bod that does make sense I can understand why you have to say now as the woman has opted to have an anomaly scan. Just got caught up with the trisomy reasons.

ibip not much to tell, few handstands in the pool on Sunday, I can't remember how it is meant to help but it did stretch out bits that hadn't been used for a while! However, after googling oblique I think that's more like what my mw described my baby is doing, still it's better than transverse - more chance of her straightening up in time :)

Thanks bump. After checking - baby is oblique breach (head in ribs) so I'm trying anything I hear of to get her to shift. She's not having any of it though!

Lovin the thought I handstands in the pool! I'm not sure I'd have the courage

Black dd1 will be 3 at the end of October and dd2 is 19.5 months. And yes cbeebies features heavily especially at the moment, I realised on Wednesday it had literally been on all day :( I was feeling so crap I hadn't even noticed.

Woo snot twins!! Congrats! That's awesome news. How did your DP react?!

Hi ladies quicks question... I have had some very light (we are talking tiny dots) of brown discharge I had it this morning and a couple of days ago I'm 14+2 today but I am scared has anyone else had this?

Thanks everyone - we are excited, but it's just taking a bit of getting used to. Not what we imagined for our family at all! Birds - DH's response was mostly sweary, but I think having slept on it he's pretty happy about it!

Black & Cbeebies - yes, Cbeebies features heavily here too. That and my tablet which is excellent for distracting the boy while I slump on the sofa. The only one I don't like is one of the games on the Cbeebies app, where you have to make the loudest noise you can into the microphone. Whoever thought that one was a good idea needs some serious re-education.

Snot I haven't come across that one yet! I'm keeping dd1 away from the tablet until I find it tho!

I can imagine dhs response was very sweary, what a shock!

Fod my advice is to call the midwife. I say it a lot, but if your worried and it's not normal it's the best thing to do. (Says she who remember sitting staring at her pg notes holding the phone for over 3 hours before finally dialing the number in dd2's pg!)

snot wow! I'm also as I always wanted twins to end the 2/3 children debate. (The head and the bank and my tolerance for pregnancy say 2 but....). (That's not to say I'm not delighted with the little boy I'm having, but I already can't cope with the thought of having to make a conscious decision on whether to have a third or have a long lasting contraceptive).

For anyone else who already has one baby, did you know from the his/her arrival that you'd definitely want another? Perhaps that doesn't make sense - I always knew I wanted at least two kids, but when DC1 arrived, litterally my first thought as they handed me to her was WOW I AM DOING THIS AGAIN, because that freight train of love hit me like I've never experienced an emotion before?

birds - good luck telling work today. Have you thought about emailing the lady who had the mcs? I found it much easier to take the news from an email/text than having to put on the instant happy face? But I also found it much easier to hear that news from others I knew had gone through the pain of infertility/mc or whatever.

Just had a freak out at stupid HR policies about taking annual leave. "Pregnant women are advised to take all their annual leave before starting maternity leave, because leave will be forfeited if its not used and can't be carried over." Garrrrggghhh! That means i have to take three weeks between now and Christmas. Double Garrrggghhh! I can see no logical reason for it all, except for the fact that HR are too stupid to cope with making a change to the "no holiday can be carried over" rule. (Apologies to anyone who works in HR - I know its a tough job, but it can be really hard when "rules" don't appear to be based on common sense!)

Thanks for the new thread santa and yeah we knew as soon as DS was born we wanted another quickly...if it hadn't been for the second MC would have been 17.5 month gap. This time cos I'm in so much pain DH says no way to a third (which was always the plan) but I think if this one is another boy I will be tempted but if it's a girl he will be able to convince me to stop!

So I've been completely signed off now so that's it, no more work till January 2015, crazy.

kat so glad you were able to change midwives! The maternity manager you spoke to sounds really nice and reasonable!

santa I was the same as you after giving birth - I fthought was one of the most amazing things I had ever done and couldn't wait to do it again. Before having DD, I always said 2 children but now I'm open to having more...but let me have this one first, know that everything is alright and see how I cope with two.

As for HR policies, what you can do is start your maternity leave on your due date (which is the latest it can start) and then take the 3 weeks just before that as holiday - this is what I did last time and doing the same again with this pregnancy. So my maternity leave starts on 28/10 but my last day at work will be next Friday (can't believe I have only 1 week left!!); then I'll be at home nesting and resting but according to work on annual leave. Do you think this would work for you?

shell you're off work already!! Lucky you! I hope not having to move too much has helped with the pain. x

Katatonic, that is awful, and I'm so glad you were able to change.

Fod, definitely get in touch - sitting and stewing is horrible.

As for my birth - I spent it, and the consequent few weeks, going 'THIS IS GOING TO BE AN ONLY CHILD!' even though I'd always wanted more than one. You do forget, though, and off we go again!

wow pentagon one week left! that's amazing

birds there is a woman I work with who I also went to school with and I knew she had had a mc a few months before me. I asked my boss to tell her about my pg before it became general knowledge (is that something you could consider?) - she didn't know I'd had a mc as I manged to hide it from most people at work. But luckily she is pg too . I've now talked to her about my mc and discovered she actually had 3 and is now on clexane injections and doing well. She is finishing work before me despite being due 2 months later! But I don't blame her as she's had a really rough time.

santa the surgeon asked me if I wanted another one whilst sewing me up after DD's fast exit! I think I said 'not tonight' or something equally hilarious! But no, having another was far from my mind despite having a pretty good labour. I would like 3, we had discussed having 3 before we found out this one is DD2 but I think maybe DH is more keen on 3 now so we can 'try for a boy' . But, like pentagon says I'll see how we manage with 2 first

I've actually been signed off since 29 weeks pentagon it's all a bit strange tbh, been quite emotional coping with the pain and feeling pretty useless but I've got my head round it now thanks

kat glad you got the old hag changed. They really have no idea do they. My mum had a terrible 9 months carrying me and she always said the midwives were horrible, I'm sure that contributed to her pnd.

I really want to do my conversion to midwifery at some point, only 18 months and I'd make sure I didn't say anything that was insensitive or stupid!

Am starting to bring on a nice big dose of nausea worrying about the scan I've booked tomoro. Stupidly thought about cancelling it with a what I don't know mentality. Then thought again.

Are you going to get checked fod? Hugs x

Bod, that makes total sense, thanks for clearing that up.

Oh, tom are you a nurse currently then? When I was going through my "i don't want to work in an office" phase, I toyed with being a mw. But I'm far too judgemental about people (IABcompletlyU) and think having children is such an enormous privilege and responsibility that not everyone should have them. Also (and apols if this offends anyone) but I take great care to make sure that anyone having cause to, ahem, examine me, is not put in a position where their senses might be unduly offended, but I'm sure not everyone is like that. (I'm probably just too squeamish!)

pentagon that is what I'm having to do. Because I'm now the higher wage earner, we can't afford for me to get to the unpaid bit of ML, so I was trying to use all my leave at the end. As it is, I'm going to be coming back to work when DC2 is just six months old, which is breaking my heart already. And they've already said that it will be pretty much impossible for me to come back p/t

santa are you not able to change hours under flexible working rules and regs? Can see how it's upsetting as probably will be the same. Was fortunate enough to have a 3 year career break with DS, he's nearly 7 now. Think I only went back to nursing at all as we separated and had no choice.

So yep in my current role as a nurse on a busy medical ward we see all sorts of things! Have had to pass on a few wound dressings lately as my nausea and mega sensitive sense of smell has been too much!

Hello everyone - snot I haven't had time to post yet but EEEEEEEKKK!!! on the twin news :) How exciting!! I did wonder if I was having twins due to the severity of early MS and have to admit that I was a tad disappointed when scan only found one in there (although that was at EPU after a bleed so the disappointment was only momentary after the sheer relief of hearing the baby had a heart beat!)

I've just had my booking appt and the midwife was super lovely. Answered all my questions and was very sympathetic when I had a bit of a sob about the MC. She was also exceedingly reassuring about the bleeding/cramping I have been having. Kat I'm so pleased to see you changed your MW and the centre you'll be based at, I can't believe how rubbishy she was!

So I have come home feeling rather relieved and even a tad excited. It should be noted I didn't sleep at all last night due to a small bleed and lots of panicking it was all over before I even made it to the booking appt. Now just have to get through the next two weeks until the 12wk scan... thankfully we're on holiday next week renting a house with a group of friends so I am going to try and relax and get lots of sleep :)

Hope everyone else is having a good Friday - I have a craving for some crumbly fudge so I think I am going to amble off and make some!