Hovering in the berrycopter: nervous elderberries, sickness reports and backwards scan photos!

[Boomgoestheweasel]

Open to all elderberry grads and anyone who fits the berry criteria: over 30, first trimester(ish) with #1 after trying for a long time, and nervous as hell. Come on in for handholding and nub theory!

puppy I was the same, used to do zumba an bokwa and gave both up when I got preggo as I just didnt feel up to it. I do a lot of walking with the dog and I've started swimming and pregnancy yoga so feel I'm at least doing something. From bfp to around 7 months all I really did was walk and do 2 cardio classes so I wouldn't worry too much.

Already drumming fingers impatiently for my results email! Although Kat if your results aren't back yet I may be getting my hopes up prematurely that mine will come back today!
Also a bit grumpy as hospital nearest potential new house only has 2 midwife led birthing rooms, and the rest of the maternity department has a v high intervention rate

Oo merk, so you might hear about results and house offer today? Don't expect you're going to get a lot of work done!

Sorry kat I've missed this- what results? And is it your dating scan?

Merk I'm in the same boat, my local hospital's maternity dept, which is about 10/15 mins away has recently become midwife led so I now have to travel 40 mins to the next closest which has doctors on standby if needed. I'm sure midwife led is fine but if I need/want an epidural/episiotomy/forceps/ventouse etc I either can't have it or would get put in an ambulance and be sent to the other hospital. Crazy. Nice of them to make life that bit more stressful huh!

Hope you get your results soon!!!!

Just rang and no results yet, despite being told they would take less than 10 days (today is day 11) the snotty receptionist has said to ring back after Thursday. Still crossing fingers they may arrive today (as assume they will come via email). Grump grump grump
Exciting about your scan Kat

I have a mlu only in my town. The doctors are all in the nearest city. I understood that mlu's have great results and I'm thrilled to be able to use it- if they don't think I need to go to the main hospital.

Mother we are the exact opposite, I want your midwife led unit! Am trying to avoid proper hospital at all costs!

Merk I thought you were thinking home birth?

I'm the same as you re hospital avoidance!

I hope you get your results soon merk!

I was thinking ahead today (scan on 21st October) about how to announce the pregnancy, if all is going okay. DH was thinking a scan picture on facebook, but having TTCed for a year, I think others who are TTC could find that upsetting (as I did!). I was thinking of just calling all our closest friends and family, possibly emailing others? Or sending a private message? What do y'all think?

Oh really, my best mate is a doctor and will beat the crap out of me if I go MLU. Don't get me wrong I'm not a hospital fan, but I don't want to have to go by ambulance to the other hospital either. I think both units are pretty much the same in look and feel just one has docs to call on if needed and one doesn't.

brod we text all our closest friends with the news, called family etc and then a couple of days later put the photo on Facebook.

It's a tricky one as you say, but we found everyone was really pleased for us. Even my friend who had recently found out she can't have kids was very kind, I was very careful how I told her though.

brod it's a very personal choice. Personally I would never ever put a scan photo on FB. I am still haunted by scan photos and find them upsetting to see even though I now have successful ones! And that was only added to by struggling with ttc. Not everyone feels like this though I know!

Hello from Cornwall!

Speed update while I've got signal..

merk hope you get your results soon. Go for the home birth! Gutted I'm now high risk and likely to be induced/have interventions, I wanted a home birth so much

Everyone re dtd: drought now over chez Boom thanks to holiday vibes

brod I would phone close friends/relatives and text others. Totally second what thunder said re: scan photos on FB, they used to break my heart and still do to some extent. I was guilty of posting a pic last time before i understood how hard it is for ttc-ers and actually there ended up being some horrible comments on it (mr boom had jokingly put'looks like a boy' and some up herself cow who was actually training with me decided to lecture us on how we should only want a healthy child and that we were thoughtless/horrible/inconsiderate. Awful!) not saying that's common but it ruined my only happy memory of that pregnancy! (And she never apologised even after what happened)..

Good luck for your scan tomorrow kat!

Right, off to walk the dogs on the beach in the rain!

brod I totally understand how people feel about not putting scan photos on Facebook but I honestly don't think true friends would be upset with you. Plus, you can spend your whole life living for other people and worrying what they will think, only to find that they disregard your feelings when you need them most. This, if no other time, is a time when you get to focus on you, your future and the family you are about to become, if you want to shout that from the rooftops so be it.
I did find it ironic though when a friend struggled ttc for 17 months then got her bfp and put what seemed like weekly shots of scans on FB, she is the same now with pictures of her DD, seemed a little odd when she told my other friend off for being insensitive when she put a newborn picture of her daughter on FB. I guess everyone is different.

boom no friend should say those things to you, that is incredibly mean. I hope she can look at herself in the mirror without feeling bad.

Saying all that I have made sure I haven't moaned at all on FB about feeling tired etc due to pregnancy as I know many people would happily go through anything to be in our position, but I did put up the 12 week scan and announced the sex with a shot of the 20 week scan.

We are lucky having a 'home from home' midwife led unit which is across the corridor from the main consultant led hospital birth unit, so any probs you can be wheeled over! I was hoping for a home birth but have had that ruled out now as tested positive for group b strep which means I am advised to have IV antibiotics in labour.

We haven't put anything about the pg on FB at all for various reasons. We just told people as and when we saw them mainly.

Yeah I'm the same as you quod, I haven't put anything on FB either. I post regularly but am not one for announcements so have told people individually and personally.

Hmm, poor you boom people can be such arses. It is amazing how shitty people can be, especially on book of face. But mother you're also right about worrying too much about other people... I'm thinking scan pics only for family and close friends, either in a PM or by email or just when we happen to see them. I'm sure I can bore everyone to death with photos if we are lucky enough to have an actual baby at the end of it.

The flip side of this which you may find was the situation I ended up in. Told friends and close family f2f. Told friends and less close family that we don't see that often by email/text/phone. Then you are left with a group of people you know, but not well enough to text or ring and announce a pregnancy as it would be a bit weird. Eg my friend from secondary school who I occasionally fb message with and see at weddings etc. She happens to be acting solicitor for one of my close friend and close friend told her not realising she didn't know. A few different examples of this and I was stuck with feeling it would be weird to text/ring/fb message these people with a big announcement out of the blue as we weren't that close but they were finding out on the grapevine anyway and then I was getting 'why didn't you tell me' type messages. So despite being adamant I wouldn't, I did a fb announcement

Seriously merk, people were doing 'why didn't you tell me?!' That's crap if they're not that close. Unless they think they're closer than they are!

I have close friends and Facebook acquaintances. I have told me friends and I don't care how the others find out. I suspect most of them don't know I'm engaged either!

boom it is shocking how people react like that! I can't imagine ever having a go at someone about a post on Facebook (or lack of post in merk's case). People are so bolshy! I think we all just need to do what feels comfortable.

Yes it is a bit weird now bumping into people who don't know and saying oh yeah, the bump, well I am 7 months pregnant! And I am sure there will be people who don't find out until we are actually parents...but then I also don't think that I should feel obliged to give everyone in my remote social and professional circles updates about the interior of my uterus! It's a funny old modern conundrum isn't it!

It is really weird. Basically if people are close enough that they get in touch on a regular basis then they will know. If they don't then I probably won't feel the need to tell them stuff. I am not surprised when they have news that I didn't know about straight away so I figure they won't be either.

My harmony results are back!!!!(Not that i was pestering them or anything but I rang and asked again!). They (obviously) wouldn't tell me over the phone. He said if the gynecologist is comfortable emailing them tonight they will send them tonight, otherwise the doctor will email them in the morning. Argh so excited (and impatient) for the gender!

Oo merk! I reckon you're right in your suspicions of it being a girl. But I know you wouldn't mind either way?