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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Its a girl!- bugger

246 replies

HotPie · 26/04/2013 15:14

So I am 19 weeks gone with baby number one and just found out its a girl. The baby in my head was a boy. We were going to play lego and climb trees and get muddy together.

I thought at first it would be ok, after all its up to me and my partner how we raise her, but friends with girls have said I may not be able to avoid the pink princess stage, my mother in law is intent on dolls and frills and the other "mothers of girls" are drving me crazy with talk of "cuteness"

I have no interest in "sweet little outfits" or those flowery headbands (how weird are they) or playing with dolls and I dispise the kind of girl who plays "dressing up as princesses" just as much as I did when I was a little girl too. I am so scared I am going to get a pink loving girl and that I will dislike my daughter.

I feel like a terrible person, I know how lucky we are to have a ( hopefully) healthy child on the way. Please someone tell me about their mud loving daughter.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Fuckwittery · 26/04/2013 15:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cavort · 26/04/2013 15:24

I am 31+2 with my first so I haven't got any advice, but mine's also a girl and I also don't particularly want a pink-obsessed little princess, but I will doubtlessly absolutely adore her no matter what she likes and so will you with yours.

FWIW I didn't like pink, frills, princesses or dolls when I was young. It's not inevitable that you daughter will.

piprabbit · 26/04/2013 15:25

Your daughter will follow your lead, at least until she starts nursery...by which time you will be so head over heels in love with her that you will be able to overlook the occasionally Barbie or sparkly hairclip.

Concentrate on getting a 'loving girl' and forget the 'pink' bit.

Thurlow · 26/04/2013 15:26

It's ok. I always, always imagined having boys, so much so that it was a real surprise when we found out we were having a girl. So I know exactly what you mean. We don't like frilly dresses, headbands, all that stuff - but that simply means we don't buy it There are loads of lovely girls clothes in greens, purples, navies etc. DD is only 15mo so no idea yet whether she will turn out to love pink and party dresses. But the thing is, for the first year or two it doesn't make any real difference whether you have a baby girl or a baby boy, and by the time they might start to show a preference you'll be so in love with your child it won't matter.

I never imagined having a daughter. Now I can't imagine not having a daughter.

PeterParkerSays · 26/04/2013 15:28

All the girls I know, even the ones dressed in pink by their mummies, love lego and mud and climbing trees. These are the sort of things small children, whatever their sex, have arms and legs for.

Start buying non-pink clothes for STBDD, look at places like http://polarnopyret.co.uk/ Polarn O Pyret in the sale, then you can dilute any pink with stripy tights, turquoise / purple trousers and green wellies.

my DS is 3. I still have no more idea about whether he'll love football than I did when he was born. You may also find your DD loves more neutral things - beaches, riding her bike, going to the woods, and no amount of pink cardis will stop her from doing those things if she wants to.

Oh, and congratulations.

LandOfCross · 26/04/2013 15:29

DD aka Danger Girl, climbs v high trees, beats all the boys in arm wrestles and wants to be a policewoman.

Her favourite colour is blue. Pretty, light blue, but blue nonetheless.

HTH

PeterParkerSays · 26/04/2013 15:29

Yeah, that link worked well didn't it?

Try again:

Start buying non-pink clothes for STBDD, look at places like Polarn O Pyret in the sale, then you can dilute any pink with stripy tights, turquoise / purple trousers and green wellies.

Mintyy · 26/04/2013 15:29

Well, what if your dd does turn out to hate getting dirty and climbing trees? Are you going to be able to love and accept her as she is? If not why did you decide to have a child?

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 26/04/2013 15:29

I have a girl. She's 22 now but she spent her entire childhood playing lego, climbing trees and making dens. If I'd dressed her in frills and bows she would've decked me. Dolls were for beheading or dragging along behind her go-kart. In fact, I think the first doll we owned in this house actually belonged to her younger brother.

She still climbs trees and plays in the streams. I love my girl.

catlady1 · 26/04/2013 15:30

I felt exactly the same, and kept calling my DD (6 weeks) "he" until a few weeks before she was born (not on purpose, I had just been so convinced that she was going to be a boy!). She's currently laid in her pink bouncy chair, sucking a pink dummy, wearing a pink dress. It was all bought for her, I wouldn't go for so much pinkness myself, but I have to admit she does look gorgeous :). There's plenty of time yet for her to climb trees and eat mud and wear whatever she likes. As long as she's happy and comfortable I don't care either way what she wears, and neither does she at the moment. Oh and yes, you'll wonder what you were so bothered about as soon as she's born :)

LandOfCross · 26/04/2013 15:30

Oh and she thinks those porcelain dolls are creepy and made me pack away the ones my mother insisted on buying her.

dingit · 26/04/2013 15:31

I wanted a pink obsessed little princess! I now have a dd who would rather wear a carrier bag than a dress. She is 14. ( I love her to bits though)

AmandaLF · 26/04/2013 15:32

I always wanted a girl for my first. Also my grandma had a girl first as did my mum and my auntie so I thought I'd be the same. However I now have a lovely 10 month old boy and I couldn't be happier. I was disappointed when I found out but wouldn't have it any other way. I think we get an image in our head of what we'd like.

rubyflipper · 26/04/2013 15:35

So what if she likes pink sparkles? So what?

You will love her because she is your daughter.

seekingpeaceandquiet · 26/04/2013 15:35

DD nearly 4 loves pink. Anything glittery and sparkly too.

She also loves jumping into anything muddy, loves trying to climb trees, and unfortunately for squeemish me loves bugs.

I was very unsure when I first found out I was having a girl having lost my mum when I was very young and it being me and my dad, but as soon as I held her I wouldn't change a thing about her.

Having a boy this time round and am freaking out slightly as Im now thinking what am I going to do with a boy!

ItsYoniYappy · 26/04/2013 15:36

You will be fine. I ate mud and climbed trees, I also collected tadpoles, played with frogs and had a baby bath full of eels!

I have 2 boys but DS2 best friend is lovely, she plays football, talks constantly and she is great. I would love a girl but can see me ending up with a football team so have decided no more. I read my pregnancy diary I made today for DC1, you should take notes, it's great to look back to you pre-baby. I didn't do this for DS2 and wish I had.

Tbh the whole idea of having a 'baby' will be alien to you when she arrives, it doesn't matter what the sex is, at least she cannot wee on you everytime you change her nappy!

exoticfruits · 26/04/2013 15:36

It is pointless having an image of what you want-there is nothing to say that a boy would have been as you expected. It really won't matter once they are born. Respond to the DC you have and not the one you want. I wouldn't try and mould one way or she will probably be the opposite!

chattychattyboomba · 26/04/2013 15:39

You will love your DD because she is her own person not because of her gender! I was desperate for a girl for my first! Scared i wouldn't know what to do with a boy...I got my wish- but in hindsight i can honestly say it would not have made an ounce of difference. When i held that little baby... She could have been a hermaphrodite and i would have still fallen head over heals in love. Girl or boy, they are all precious.
This coming from someone who would stare forlornly at pink dresses and tutus and think if i didn't get a girl i would just be miserable! Now i find myself gravitating towards the boy's clothing department!

ditavonteesed · 26/04/2013 15:40

there si only one way to ensure you dot have a girl and that is to not geet pregnant. My girls love getting muddy rarely wear pnk and build more lego stuff than you would believe, becasue thats who they are, I love them, I would still love them if they wore pink and ponced about. I actually find your attitude quite offensive.

Startail · 26/04/2013 15:40

DD1 never did pink and frilly and at 15 still doesn't.
DD2 can be pink and frilly and play with dolls, she can also cover the house in toy cars and break her arm a climbing tree.
She ballet dances and plays rugby, the contact sort and comes home plastered in mud.

Girls are brilliant, you get pretty clothes and make up on minute and bike oil in trousers the next. My two can solder together electric circuits or do a French braid. DD1 wants to be a scientist and is a techy as any boy.

Girls really are the best of both.

chocolatespiders · 26/04/2013 15:41

My daughter loves mud. will only buy clothes from the boys department and goes to cubs

tomatoplantproject · 26/04/2013 15:41

The good thing about having a baby is that you get to choose what they wear. We got given a lot of pink shite when dd was born but I have it tucked out if site and only use it in emergencies. There are lots of lovely things out there in bright colours.

Also we are the ones to decorate her room - so lots of bright colours and as she grows we'll fight the pink.

I am absolutely sure that in time dd will want to do lots of different things - she'll be watching rugby, playing in her bike, running around in the mud if she's anything like her parents.

Congratulations - I adore my little funny girl.

megandraper · 26/04/2013 15:43

I am anti-princess as well.

My DD is nearly 2. She loves lego (duplo) and is bloody good at it. Her favourite activity is 'play in garden' where she gets thoroughly muddy. She doesn't wear pink (most of her clothes are hand-me-downs from her older brothers, and i swapped all the pink gifts for other colours). She is a hard-headed, bolshy, fiendishly determined, bright little bundle, and much tougher than her brothers at the same age. I adore all three of them, they are all very different and all fascinating & delightful.

DD will still be the same person if she goes through a pink sparkly stage at some point. That may well be the least of my worries as she barges her way through life!

Cooroo · 26/04/2013 15:44

Not read all the posts but... my DD is now 16. Was never really girlie, had a very early attraction to the 'dark side' (Disney baddies....) which has flourished. She's funny, smart, goth, knows what she likes. Girls do NOT have to be pink. Don't ban it, don't pander to it!

Girls are tremendous, and you've got an opportunity to raise a well-balanced one! Enjoy.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 26/04/2013 15:47

Your child, whichever sex it is, will be an individual and is not there to conform to your expectations. Please stop projecting your idea of what your child will be and get excited about getting to know her as the unique person she will be.
Plus, honestly, you will love her just as much as you would have loved a boy. It's biology, innit.

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