Pregnant (IVF) Worriers

[Dildals]

Hi everyone,

This thread is for all you incessant worriers out there, not necessarily limited to IVF-ers, although I get the feeling the people who have had trouble TTC are more prone to worrying than others!

A few of us graduated from the IVF thread (link below) and are having a go at our own thread to get out of the other IVF-ers hair! So get your roomy jogging bottoms on for some virtual hand holding, mutual symptom spotting and staying sane until the next scan date.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1691674-Excellent-Egg-Buddies-continued-Anyone-having-IVF-ICSI-in-Jan-Feb-and-March-2013-please-join-us

dildals I'm here to spare you the shame of a failed thread.

We are having our roast dinner in an hour, drool. Are you still feeling any nausea?

Glad you're not stressed about the scan, everything should be fine since you had one a couple of weeks ago, wasn't it?

Ah, thanks! :-)

I had low level nausea for about 2 weeks, then it stopped. No excessive tiredness either. I do want to be in bed by ten, then again, DH is no different and am pretty sure he's not pregnant. A bump is developing as well as boobs (although bump is still in lardy gut phase, rather than cute bump phase).

Had a scan at EPU Friday a week ago and they are doing fine, so just have to believe I am VERY LUCKY to have an easy twin pregnancy (for now)! I think I am going to bring the EPU one of my Lindt bunnies, such a good service!

I do feel the ligaments in my pelvis and hips loosening up, well, I think that's what it is. I checked with my heavily pregnant friend and she had the same around this stage, and her pelvis pain disappeared, so that's good.

I tried on some maternity jeans from my pregnant friend, but they're still too big (awfully comfy though!).

I did a bad thing the other day (apart from the half shot latte I had) ... I read up about diastasis, where the stomach muscles separate after you grow massive, I can recommend NOT reading up on that! ;-)

Ooooh hello. I'm 13 weeks pregnant with an IVF baby. I was on the BESH thread in conception. Will follow this with interest, it's good to know there are others like me out there. Congratulations Didalls - twins? And Fairy. How many weeks are you?

Here I am girls, making myself comfy in the worriers corner! Don't worry Dildals. There's no way this thread will fail. There is far too much worrying to do

I don't feel too bad today. 7+6 scan is on Thursday. As long as we see a heartbeat and good growth I'll feel much better. Then it's moving on to worry about the nuchal scan etc. have either of you looked into harmony? I think I'm older than you both so our chance of a positive test is high.

I could kill a roast dinner today. Not literally obviously it would have to be dead first!

Enjoy your chocolate bunnies. I still haven't had any chocolate since my preparing for treatment cut out everything campaign. I'm too scared to reintroduce anything just in case.

Shaz xx

Hello Jethro

Welcome to the worriers!

Many congratulations on your ivf success. 13 weeks is brilliant.

Shaz x

Hello, can I join in? Not IVF but multiple second trimester losses and endless months ttc. I'm now 37 weeks and I'm absolutely terrified it's all going to go wrong at the last minute. I've been crying most of today and feel like I've completely lost my nerve. I finished work last week and it's as if the distraction and routine were keeping me sane - now I'm cut adrift and my anxiety is terrible. I've still got two weeks to go before my section date, I asked if they could bring it forward on mental health grounds but they said no. I just don't know how I'm going to get through another two weeks. I mostly think I won't, as it's all about to go badly wrong and I'll lose yet another baby, but at full term this time.

People keep asking me if I'm excited and I grimace and want to punch them.

Anyone else been through this or is it just me?!

Welcome Jethro!

I did have a look at the 'Expecting in Oct 2013' thread, but there were so many people on there and lots of them were so chirpy and optimistic, whereas I at that stage was only worried about miscarrying and jinxing it!

I will be 12 weeks on Tuesday and yes TWINS! EEK! :-) Might as well get it over with.

shazza oh, how exciting, good luck for Thursday! I did look in to the Harmony test, but it doesn't work for twins. FMC does it as well as another centre, name of which I forgot, it's north of £400 I seem to remember. Suggest to have your 12 week nuchal test on NHS first and have the Harmony test book a day later, just in case. FMC does not charge cancellation fees (although worthwhile double checking whether this also applies to Harmony). I assume you have looked in to your chances, have you, I have seen them too, yeah ... not great is it. You might be totally fine though, lots of 40+ have perfectly healthy babies.

Blimey Mariana that sounds horrible! Surely you will be OK at 37 weeks!? Have you tried anything to control your worrying, such as hypnosis? Such a shame you are not able to enjoy your pregnancy.

shazza I hope that post wasn't too blunt, in the style of your GP if you remember ... Didn't mean to exacerbate your worries!

Hi Dildals, my view is that nothing is guaranteed in pregnancy. I've had CBT and mindfulness therapy but it's all gone out the window now. I feel like I'm gritting my teeth and holding my breath the whole time. I have no concept of enjoying a pregnancy!

Hello marina

Welcome to the group.

I'm sorry that you are still so worried. It sounds like you have suffered some sad losses. Congratulations on this pregnancy. I hope that you can find a way to some peace this week and look forward to the arrival of your little one. I can recommend Hypno. I tried it before I started treatment and it really helped calm me down. Then last weekend I was freaking out that I'd lost this baby and I also had a 2ww until my scan and didn't know how to get through those weeks. But she managed to calm me and I've been listening to the tapes. It really helps.

Although your anxiety is completely understandable its a shame if you can't enjoy these last couple of weeks of pregnancy. I wish you loads of luck.

Thanks dildals. Don't worry about the post. I know the stats and yes they don't look good on paper but I'm praying that we will be fine. The trouble is that it seems that the harmony test has to be 10-11 weeks and I'll be 12+4 by the time the nhs scan comes round. We saved money on the treatment so I think I'll do it for peace of mind.

X

Mariana and that is absolutely right, nothing is guaranteed. Anything can go wrong at any stage, not just in pregnancy. Do you think you will stop worrying after the baby is born, or will you just start worrying about other things? Having children is a constant source of worry!

My personal view is that, although I am aware that things can go wrong, I don't want to spend too much time worrying about it, because that way I would never actually have the time to enjoy my pregnancy and that just seems so unfair.
Pregnancy and having children inevitably means letting go of control. If things go wrong, that would be horrible, awful and traumatic, but I would still prefer to have been pregnant and experienced it rather than never having had the experience at all, if that makes sense.

I know this is super easy for me to say, with only one, first trimester miscarriage, and as I said, this is my personal opinion. I do hope things work out for you though & baby comes early and healthy!

Sorry Mariana we cross posted. Didn't want you to think I completely ignored what you said.

shazza Oh I didn't know that (or I did, and conveniently forgot). It's a brilliant test though, I hope it gets cheaper soon so it will be provided on NHS for everyone instead of amnio / CVS!

Thanks Shazz.

I've been in trials for something similar. If it can spare people CVS or amnio it would be a huge step forward. I lost a baby after a CVS and it was horrendous.

Gosh Mariana I'm sorry to hear that. That must have been traumatic. This is my first pregnancy after 2.5 yrs TTC. I found out i was pregnant 9 days into our 1st ivf cycle. I'll be 43 when this one comes so I know I have to do the tests. I'll go for harmony and pray that my little miracle is ok.

It was dreadful, the baby had t21 and it took that appalling choice out of my hands.

I'm 40 and felt I had no choice but to have cvs again this time. It was absolutely terrifying, I'm very glad you have the option of Harmony..

Hi jethro nice to meet you. I will be 12 weeks tomorrow, I had my first cycle of ivf in Jan after TTC DS2 for 20 months. Still can't quite believe it but now I've seen the ultrasound it definitely worked!

Hi all - nice to meet you Mariana- so sorry about your anxiety. It must be dreadful having suffered the losses you have but it is only 2 weeks and then you will have your beautiful baby.

Dildals and Shazza- I just looked at the harmony test, I didn't know what it was. The clinics I looked at said you can have it any time after 11 weeks. I wouldn't unless the triple test and nuchal fold test came back with worrying results. BTW I think the standard age related risk charts for downs are misleading. My risk at age 34 with DS was supposedly 1 in 200 but my test results came back 1 in 15000. It really is an individual thing.

Thanks for the welcome everyone. I posted a couple of times on the October thread too Diddals but it moves so fast & like you say everyone seems so confident, which is how I wish I could be!

Marina sorry you have had such a tough time. No wonder you are anxious. I hope the next 2 weeks are uneventful & that you find some peace & are able to rest.

Fairy I was also successful on our first cycle it's a miracle really because I didn't respond to the stimms very well at all. We were TTC for 3 years & went private in the end as the waiting list at our NHS hospital was so long. Can I ask where you had your treatment? We were at care in Nottingham.

I've had the NT screening. Should get the results next week. I'm 36 so imagine I'll be high risk. I'm trying not to think about it.

Hi all. I'm 5+3, so I think the newbie of the thread at the moment. Scan at 7+6, which seems ages away.

Well done Jethro on getting to 13 weeks. Are you more relaxed yet? I guess not until the NT results come back?

shaz your scan is v soon! Exciting! It will look like an actual baby I think.

Mariana I'm so sorry you've had such a difficult time. You so nearly have your baby now. I'm sorry you've not been able to enjoy your pregnancy, but hope once the baby's here it'll be easier. Well done on getting to full term. You never know, baby might make up its own mind and come early. Good luck, keep busy and stay calm.

Time is really dragging at the moment! I am desperate to tell my mum but dh has said no till after the scan.

Can I ask again what any of you have been told about exercise, as so confused. My clinic have said nothing till 12 weeks, but I'm in Thailand and think that's the culture. I am doing 30 mins brisk walking a day, but desperate to get back in the pool. Google seems to say clinics are split - half say do as normal, half say do nothing.

Hi keepitgoing, and congratulations. I'd tell your mum if you are close and if want to, after all, would you tell her if the scan gave you bad news? I've always told my mum as soon as I've known I was pregnant and she's supported me through all my losses. I can understand not telling everyone - there are still quite close friends I haven't told I am pregnant, but not someone you're very close to. My rule has become only tell people when absolutely necessary and even that has made me uncomfortable.

I've always been told that you keep doing exercise, obviously nothing too extreme but things like walking and swimming are fine. A friend of mine was still running at 20 odd weeks (which I thought was extreme but she had never had any problems conceiving etc. so seemed fairly casual about pregnancy.) I was told to stop yoga until 16 weeks and then find a pregnancy yoga class, which I couldn't find.

keep everything I have read says moderate exercise is beneficial throughout pregnancy and what is moderate depends on what level of fitness you have pre-pregnancy. Contact sports, scuba diving or anything involving heat (like bikram style yoga) are not advised however, but I think the risks there are pretty obvious. I would just do what you want to including swimming. I am a regular runner but haven't been for ages because stimming made me too bloated and then the nausea got in the way. I am keen to start again ( although at a moderate pace) but I have a chest cold and the current weather here is really off putting!

jethro I was at bourn hall in Cambridge. They were really good, very professional but down to earth in their advice. I hope your nuchal fold results are reassuring. Remember that is looking at the fetus itself and not your age.

Morning everyone

Keep I would also tell your mum. As Mariana said if it is bad news ( fingers crossed its not) you would want your mum's support anyway wouldn't you?

We've told our parents, my boss and a couple of friends who knew we were doing ivf and have started to ask me how it is going. Ive managed to avoid too many questions but it was supposed to be egg collection this weekend and one close friend texted me to wish me luck so I felt I had to tell her what had happened. I hope I haven't jinxed anything by saying too early!

Mariana you have been so brave to go through everything and still keep trying. You are so nearly there now. I hope that you can lose yourself in final prep these last two weeks and before you know it you will be cuddling your baby.

Thanks for the advice fairy. I know it is the individual and I've been so lucky so far I hope that my luck continues. I'll be nearly 13 weeks if I wait for harmony after the scan. I don't know what to do. Mr s and I are going on holiday week after next. I think we are going to have lots of time to talk about this.

I need to start some exercise otherwise I'm going to put on so much weight and my body won't be nice and strong for the baby. Where do you live Mariana? There are a couple of pregnancy yoga classes near me but that is south London.

I've decided to actually leave the house today after 2 days being cooped up. Enjoy the bank holiday.

Shaz xxx

keep I go swimming, but I think you already knew that. Like fairy I am a runner but had to stop during stimming. I run once a week now, I used to run about 3 times a week, I don't feel happy running too much, somehow it doesn't feel right, too high intensity. I must say at almost 12 weeks now my pace has dropped to a laughable pace, interspersed with walking! My heartrate goes up to 170 without too much work so I am sticking to cycling and swimming for now. I have also bought a pregnancy exercise DVD which has a different routine for each month of your pregnancy. I am planning to take up pregnancy yoga soon.

Hi Dildals and everyone
Can I join for some hand holding and mentalling please? I am a mere 4+5 after finding out I was pregnant last Weds. It was my third FET after my fresh cycle was cancelled due to ohss in April 2012. I had two more FETs on the NHS, transferring two 'excellent' blasts each time, but two BFNs. I then switched to a private clinic and went dabbling into the dark arts of NK cells and blood clotting mutations. We transferred our last two embies (both good but the bottom of the pile ratings-wise), one had survived with 80% of its cells and the other 60%, so I think the first one stuck.
Going for my first scan at 7 weeks and totally shitting myself. I know it's far too soon to get excited but sometimes I can't help it. But then I visit some other threads and see how many IVF-related early losses there seem to be, then start shitting myself again. It's pretty brutal! Keep trying to tell myself that if this doesn't work out, at least we got further than ever before. Xx