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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

I don't know what to do. please help.

85 replies

hotcrosbum · 23/03/2013 12:20

I didn't want to clog up the HG support thread with this.

I've had dh screaming in my face all morning and I have had enough. I am 7 weeks pregnant, baby was planned, but I don't know if I can continue this pregnancy.

As we were trying, I found out I was pregnant a day before my period was due. Dh has been an arsehole since then, picking fights.

I have an older DS from a previous marriage, I suffered sever HG with him and the sickness has started again. DH said he's fed up of it already, that I should stop moaning (i've not been moaning, I have felt like death, but I haven't whinged about it), that he's fed up of doing everything (a bit of cleaning here and there and changing the cat litter tray today as I was heaving).

He said the sickness is my fault, that its self inflicted because I got pregnant and I should shut up about it.

He was screaming at me at looking into medication, he doesn't want me to take anything.

I have decided to go semi private with this baby - private GP, private midwife, private scans. Will have an nhs consultant and have a cs in an nhs hospital, but all other care I will be paying for. THIs is due to being treated appallingly with ds, being left feeling like I had been publicly raped after I was examined against my will on a ward where they refused to shut the curtains. I ended up with such bad PND that it has affected every area of my life for the past 11 years. I can't risk it again.

He is now saying that its a waste of money who am i to think I am better than everyone else, that he doesn't believe how I was treated, that I am making it up.

Midwife is coming for her first app in an hour, sat here crying. I dont know what to do.

I honestly don't know if he is trying to make me throw him out so he doesn't look like the bad party, or if he is trying to make me so stressed that I miscarry.

OP posts:

Original poster

hotcrosbum · 16/04/2013 08:34

Thankyou, apparently our local hospital has a policy where they only do d&c.

OP posts:

something2say · 16/04/2013 19:05

Thinking of you hotcrossbum xx take good care x

Original poster

hotcrosbum · 17/04/2013 12:04

Thankyou.

In the midst of all this, dh blew up at me again this morning. Says he's fed up of me, that i'm always sick and he's fed up of looking after me (this mc, then morning sickness before it, plus a small op at the end of last year). How he can't take it anymore and wants a life. He stormed off to work, and has sent me a couple of texts saying that he's sick of me, fed up of having to do the cleaning (he was changing cat litter when was pg), brought up how we couldnt go out to dinner because of my morning sickness, all kinds of horrible things, right at a time when I am going through all this.

I don't think I have ever felt like this in my life, I am scared for my mental health, I am waiting for this miscarriage and have basicallly been told i am doing it alone.

I can't trust him anymore. What if I get some horrible illness in the future? He won't look after me then?

I am going to leave him, I can't live like this, there is something wrong with him.

OP posts:

MrsHelsBels74 · 17/04/2013 12:06

Sorry your DH is being so awful...he sounds like a selfish, immature arse.

I don't have much else to offer but can listen.

Original poster

hotcrosbum · 17/04/2013 12:14

Thanks.

I can't believe it has all turned out like this. I replied to him asking why he was doing this now and he sent a text back saying "because I am fed up, i'd love it if I dropped down dead tonight". I am sick of it all now.

OP posts:

whattodoo · 17/04/2013 12:28

I wish I could wrap my arms around you right now.

Might it help to speak to your midwife? She might be able to offer a listening ear and some practical support.

Try not to respond to his messages. He is cruel and deliberately hurting you when you need love the most.

AuntieMaggie · 17/04/2013 12:44

I am sorry you're going through this.

I don't have any experience of mc but your DH is acting like my DP did after I had some health issues a few years ago. I may be wrong but he sounds scared to me. This doesn't help you at the moment and he's still being an asshole but I think its born out of his worry for you.

In the short term can he stay somewhere else to give you some space?

Or can you get some emergency couples counselling?

noblegiraffe · 17/04/2013 12:44

I think you should post on the Relationships board, the women there will have lots of good advice on how to deal with your partner.

So sorry you are going through something so awful and having to deal with an utter selfish bastard at the same time.

Shylepite · 28/04/2013 09:10

How are things now hotcrosbum ? I've been thinking about you a lot, I hope things have got easier for you and you have some rl support. Please come back if you need to talk

Figgygal · 28/04/2013 10:20

Just read the thread and am so sorry to hear about your mc, your husband is a disgusting pig if mine had acted like this it would have been the end of us i hope you are ok?

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