Fantastic 40+ Mum to be - part 2

[Hpbp]

Let's keep on chatting !
Awaiting to hear from you all.
Midget, how are you feeling after the sweep ?
Exexe, are you happy with the new kitchen ? Very glad to see you back on here.
Warm welcome to the only Dad we have on the thread, sorry I could not remember your name as I write this.
Have a lovely Monday. Pouring rain in Paris today.

Congratulations to all the latest babies and mums (and dads). Welcome. If you go off to the Graduates thread, stoke up the tea urn and keep the rubber rings filled with air - we'll be along shortly...

Riverside, the kicks are magical moments, aren't they ? I could spend hours waiting for my bump to move ! Enjoy !
MrsWooster, we will keep the tea pot warm for you on the Grads thread

Warm and sunny today in Paris. I feel that life is going through my body again with this lovely Indian Summer and after a lng night sleep !

Have a lovely Monday everyone

Hello all,
been busy for a while - prob just as well since i yack on a touch too much about food.

hello LRM so nice to hear from you! That sounds really gruelling but I love the hair! aren't hairy babies so cute! mine wasn't but i appreciate a good head of hair on a newborn! welcome Dylan.

MrOld you sound like you're going to be a brilliant dad! Congratulations. How is your wife doing?

midget yes the first two weeks are the worst - when they don't know night and day, no concept of sleeping at a night!

eagleray and knicky i really don't mind people saying my bump is big. i just don't care. the bigness of the bump is one thing that is totally unrelated to overall weight - indeed the slimmer you are the bigger it looks. also bumps just are kind of fascinating - they are this strange combination of grotesque and beautiful and they are the physical manifestation of the ultimate mystery and miracle. i feel its natural that people comment. i also like to touch bumps. but that's just me.

having said that, it depends on how people say it. i'm careful never to say anyone's bump looks big (though i don't mind if people say it to me) cause it's a well-known no-no. (i also only touch friend's bumps).

Also crazyforbaby 'cop a feel' is wrong, wrong, wrong. i don't think men should try and feel lady's bumps. i am totally with you on that one. i would mention a rather hard-to-ignore news story currently running but don't think that would make us happy so won't.

yes knicky jamie's 15 minute meals is AMAZING. I hope your SPD is getting better. You are so stoic and uncomplaining as usual!

As for me i had a horrendous week last week. But over the weekend stayed with DP's friends and the wife was so understanding about how horrendous being PG is, having just been there and hated it. She said "i can see on your face you're suffering - I know that look - go and sleep if you need". It was such a relief (DP had briefed me not to go and sleep under any circs as I would offend them - men!) and she cooked three amazing meals for us and her daughter played with my DS and i could just sit there reading magazines, drinking tea and chatting.

Today is the second day in a row with no headach/sickness/exhaustion. I am praying for a third tomorrow.

Drinking more water seems to have helped - to anyone else out there having headaches.

hey mrswooster hows it going? hey there riverside awww kicks!

hpbp warm, sunny autumn day in Paris - just the words alone cheer me up.

xxx

Hope all the new mums (and dads!) are doing OK. Hpbp, Paris sounds lovely . Somewhere, forgive me I can't remember how many weeks you are but I did have headaches quite a lot in first & second trimester - paracetamol did the trick, as did drinking more fluids. Hope you stay sickness free.
DP finished the upstairs of our house at the weekend, so I was able to move into the lovely new bedroom last night (had been our dusty old junk room for ages). Just need to buy new wardrobe & chest of drawers for that room now. My friend is giving us her cot & travel cot after next week (when she moves her toddler daughter into the big bed!), so hopefully the cot can go in what will be Rosa's room together with the changing unit we've got from another friend. She'll be in the Moses basket in with me at the beginning. Have got my flu jab on Weds (really hoping I don't feel rough afterwards, I've never had one before), a trip to visit friends on Sunday, 2 lots of blood tests next week plus a Halloween party for 11 kids and their parents - feel exhausted already! Lots of love to everyone else xx

Hello all. Still no baby here. Booked for section Thursday but unlikely I can update until Saturday when we hopefully come home.

good luck VQ! i shall miss you but hopefully only briefly! grab a smartphone and let us know what's going on.

you're the last of the october cohort!!! next it's you, knottyhair!
xx

Don't scare me somewhere! Have we not got any November people??
Will be thinking of you on Thursday VQ! Won't get my confirmed section date until my next consultant appt on 12th November but it should be around 17th December I think.

Fingers crossed for a textbook CS on Thursday VQ with an extra fast recovery. I'm still debating whether I'll as for ELCS, plenty of time left me to decide.

knottyhair I think it is you next ...

GRADUATED
10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp, 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs?Oldandcobwebby?45, DD1, ELCS 19/10

PG
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Boy
Knottyhair 44, DC2 due for ELCS around 17/12 Girl (Rosa)
Crazyforbaby 44, DC6 due early Jan
ClickingTock 40, DC2 due early Jan, sex a surprise (although sonographer has probably spoiled it...)
Eagleray 41, DC1 due 18/1 Girl
Riversidelibrary 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
TheNoodles 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Cadmum 41, DC5 due 06/04, living in Thailand
somewherebecomingrain 40, DC2 due 11/4
Scarecrow22 42, DC2 due 22/4
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Onemoreforgoodmeasure 40, DC1 due 06/06

Anybody heard how Exexe is doing? She should have had her ELCS last week. Hopefully she's just too busy with DC3 to update.

AFM my night times get worse, last night included a toliet trip, cramp in both legs and waking up feeling I was suffocating, which was only cured by opening the window and sticking my head out for a minute in the fresh air.

The reception at the hospital is very poor, but I will try to update. Not sure how I will cope without MN for 48 hours!

Knotty - you're not the only one who is getting alarmed as the names get shoved up the list!

Urgh - so glad to finally be sat on the sofa after a rubbish day. Baby seems to have morphed into a cannonball and walking around today has been really difficult due to feeling of heaviness/bladder discomfort. I bought her a hammock yesterday and will let her use it if she promises not to cause me any more pain

Belated congratulations to Mr and Mrs Oldandcobwebby - so glad you have a gorgeous baby in your arms at last.

Good luck Valium - fingers crossed for a straightforward delivery and also for a little mobile reception...

somewhere I feel your pain. I think MS abated a bit, nothing like as persistently every hour of every day, but last night nearly lost it on train felt so ill, and had headache all day. Today been my first headache free day for weeks and only MS 1/4 time I think. Perhaps the end is in sight!! You are my beacon of hope as you 11 days ahead. Also am now 14 weeks and I think last time it wore off at 16 weeks. Keep up the hope and we'll both get to those sunny blooming uplands they promise you!
Also does anybody else get terrible night sweats? I don't suppose there is anything we can do?? They embarrass me, but also wake wet and then chilled three times a night so not heinz tiredness.

You wouldn't believe it but I'm usually quite positive! On that note I had a private scan last week as my Downs risk high (guess we all are) and results were much better so feeling much more positive. I know still a risk, but nice to have a bit or reassurance. We also managed a night out this weekend and last - first for months. Emboldened I've booked another one on Friday for Bond premiere. Rock 'n' roll.

Still so excited about new babies and can't hear Enough about their funny jerky movements and little primeval cries. Am getting quite broody thinking about it!

Good luck VQ, and don't abandon us totally for the new cool gang on the grads thread ;)

Scarecrow, I am so envious, wish I could go and check if Daniel Craig is still as good as Sean Connery, my DH birthday is on 2 Nov, every year for the past 4 years we go and watch James Bond but this time it will be difficult, can't see leaving a 13 week old baby and a 4 year old to my 78 yo Mum...

I will have also to see how good the Jamie Oliver book is, I need some ideas to feed the family, i love cooking but find it hard to compose a menu. I am into soups at the moment.

VQ, I keep my fingers crossed for you and will be waiting for your update. Good luck, my friend. Your little man will soon be in your arms and your DDs will be like second mums to him. I bet your DH will be awesome too.

Knotty, glad the house is almost done, don't go mad when shopping for furniture ! Rosa will love to be with you in this new lovely bedroom. My flat in London is waiting for my return too, the cot is ready in my bedroom, a friend will lend me a crib I plan to keep downstairs in the living room to save me from climbing 3 sets of stairs 5 times a day !

Still no news from Exexe. She must be very busy with LO. Hope all is fine on her side.

DS1 turns 4 on Wed, need to make 1 cake for Wed, 2 other for Thursday as his school celebrates only then and 2 other for Sun as siblings are coming to visit, it is also going to be my Mum's birthday. I am running out of cake ideas....

jealous too Scarecrow! i love the horizontal skyfall posters with Daniel Craig and his strategically-placed pistol! My DP says i have free pass to sleep with D Craig if I get the chance.

scarecrow happy to light the way - i'm on my third day in a row without a headache, tiredness or sickness.

unfortunately an annoying friend has annoyed me but trying to forget about it.

saw the consultant today - they can't induce cause of my previous c-section. they can give me sweeps from 38 weeks but if nothing by 40 weeks it's ELCS. i don't know if i should bother trying to give birth naturally - i had sweeps last time and nothing happened. my mum and my sis have always had to be induced (except once when my sis had an infection). i'm just not sure there's any point. so i said just give me an ELCS as early as possible (why wait).

i can change my mind at 34 weeks when i see the consultant again.

hpbb cake ideas - lemon drizzle? brownies? fruit cake? ginger cake? banana and date cake (super easy)?

xx

So I have a few questions which I don't like to ask in RL. One is: is it okay/normal to feel so little connection with baby, even after scan? I am sure last time I looked at scan pic with welling love almost daily. In fact this time when I think about the baby my brain instantly switches on a little resentment or something that anything might take me away from beloved DD. I know it is normal to feel you can't love next child as much as DC1, only to be proved utterly wrong the moment he/she born. At least I know that intellectually or I believe my friends tell the truth. I just can't help craving ever more of DD instead of new baby. This is not helped (largely caused by?) seeing so so little of her when I work (1.5 hours in morning, dominated by getting ready, tidying, washing, putting her coat on every time she takes it off, wiping shreddies off the floor, explaining why we have a 3-episode Peppa limit...). As you can tell am starting to feel very guilty.

Thank you for "listening" as they say

PS somewhere Hurrah, hurrah for you feeling better. Have actually had two pretty good days- less headachey, less nauseous, and considering my now wild social life am def less fatigued than last few months. Hope you keep feeling better and better.

Scarecrow, I think you are far more clever than I was. I never thought about having less time for DS1 during pg and felt really very badly guilty during the first month once Anastasia was in my arms. But RL does not give choice sometimes, so I had to adjust and change routines. Actually I set up a routine for Anastasia that was completely new to me and she was only 2 months. I cried a lot and still do some evenings. Because I feel torn, not giving enough time for neither of them, or feeling incompetent. Life with 2 kids is a challenge everyday but it will become easier, it has already for me, I am aware that the balance is very fragile and can change quickly but there is hope. Guilt will be part of our life, especially when DC2 shows up. I try to have lots of cuddles with Anastasia when DS1 is at school, when he comes home, apart from the feeding time, I spend my time with him, trying to get quality time in the evening just before he falls asleep. That means Anastasia must be sleeping by 6.45/7 ish, I then have about an hour to read, play, cuddle DS1.
And you will feel your heart filled with even more love than you thought you could have. VQ said once that our love for our kids is limitless. I totally agree, our love will not be divided by two or three, it just multiplies itself by the number of children we have. Don't worry. Enjoy the one to one time you have now with DD, make the most of it, new baby will be with you in the blink of an eye.

Valium Queen, I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Sending you huge hugs from my heart.

Hi, Scarecrow, I know what you mean... WHen I think about how I felt about DS when I was pregnant and compare it to now, I could weep with pity for new one. There was worry over scans / DS risk (all ok now, as far as we can tell) which, I think, affected bonding too, but it's really all about the impact on DS when DD gets here. I can't bear the thought of him not being my whole world and already resent work or anything else that takes me away from him. My head totally know that what HPBP and all the other wise birds say but mey heart is trying to catch up... Having said all this, I AM starting to feel closer to the mountain bump: at 17+3 I am starting to think I may be feeling faint moves and I am sure this is helping - instead of worry and morning sickness, there feels like something more positive is happening. I am also going to try a bit of retail to make it more real - a few tiny bits around may, again, accentuate the positives about what's going on. Sorry for the me-rant but my summary would be: stick to it, it looks like it might get better as it goes along... ps my MS was hideous and prolonged but DID finish about 16 weeks, bar the odd overtired/underhydrated day.

PS MS might be better but spelling and grammar are fucked a bit on the blink, so sorry!

I babysat my friends DDs (aged 2 and 4) last week and it was really touching seeing the relationship between them (DD2 was inconsolable at the idea of mummy having the audacity to have a night out). DD1 said she hated it when her sister was upset and helped me get her back into bed and then we all did a story together. I think they still spend a fair bit of time lamping each other too, and remember DD1 being very sad and grumpy when her younger sibling arrived but generally it's all great!

Anyway, what do I know! It is probably fairly unlikely I will be having a second DC, but can see how I would feel torn if I went through this again.

In other news, I had a MW appt today. Had an interesting discussion with her about birth choices (still have all options open I think) but have been booked in for GTT next week, plus whooping cough and flu jabs.

She also asked if I was generally feeling ok as it turns out there was some protein in my wee - this could explain the cannonball feeling I was whinging about yesterday. Sample has gone off to the labs but may not get results til next week, which is annoying. Definitely need to wee more, so I suspect that something bad is lurking there. Will go back to docs sooner if it gets worse.

Have also booked 4D scan! Was in two minds about whether to go ahead but decided I was doing it for DP to enable him to bond he blames me for most things so pinning this one on him

HP I know exactly what you mean about the strain of keeping both children happy - I am finding this so challenging and DD is understandably a bit rocked by the entrance of her brother. She loves him but she already has asked why the baby is more important than her - this broke my heart. I am doing my best to make more time for her but boy is it hard!

Anyway that was a distraction - I just wanted to pop in whilst I had time to say Good luck to VQ I want you to know I am thinking of you and I hope you get the calm birth you deserve.

Eagerlay Hope you don't have anything nasty lurking in your urine - I've had a few dodgy samples that have been totally clear when they have gone to the lab so hope it is the same for you.

I am hoping one of my first trips out with the baby will be to see the Bond film at one of the mother and baby screenings - life in the fast lane.

Right best go as shouldn't be up at this time of night. Still hurts to sit down (bastard piles and tight stitches) - sorry for the TMI. Hope to find time to get on here more often and catch up better. Big waves to you all and hope those still with beans on the inside keep on feeling better. Catch up better soon.

Hi Scarecrow! I think you are spot on with what you say - and it also seems to be almost a taboo subject around Mums which is a shame. Everytime I have a baby I worry myself into knots that one of the children will resent the attention the new baby is getting and will grow up starved of attention and end up in prison or on the streets. Yes, the first few weeks can be rocky when the new addition arrives, but things settle down and they love having another playmate/sibling to fight with/someone to moan about Mum to - ha ha!

VQ will be thinking of you heaps today. I realise you are an old hand at DC3 but remember to relax, focus on you and baby and delegate the rest of life to everyone else [hwink] (been wanting to use one of those)
Sending s, (real) s, and strong happy thoughts...

VQ, sorry if I've got it wrong but I thought your section was tomorrow?? If it is today, then good luck my lovely xx
Got my flu jab this morning - bit worried it will make me feel ropey. Has anyone had it this year?

Sorry if I caused confusion - VQ is tomorrow but my attendance is random at the moment so wanted to wish all the best whilst I had the chance.

Happy birthday HpDS I hope it all goes well.

somewhere a section makes sense as it is likely anyway, and you get to see baby sooner!

scarecrow totally normal with no2. With no3 you get soppy again. With no2 i saw the pregnancy as a distraction from my time with DD, and thought I could never love a child as much. I was providing a sibling. I felt awful too. I remember thinking if there were ever a choice between saving me or baby, with first child you would die for them, with the second, you could not leave your first without a mum. But once that little scrap is in your arms, thunderbolt city all over again. Do not feel guilty honey. It just shows what a loving wonderful protective mummy you are. The love you have for your kids is like when a candle lights another, and another. It does not diminish, indeed they burn together brighter than ever x

Section is tomorrow, thursday. Thank you so much for your lovely messages. I am feeling pretty cool about it all. Not looking forward to leaving the girls, but they have each other, and most of the time they love and support each other. Most of the time. I am hoping no3 will just slip in nicely. Shame he will not slip out nicely, but hey ho! My girls are 6 and 2.5 now. DD2 got somewhat neglected at times because I was trying to keep DD1 happy. I soon realised that she could not be kept happy, so gave up trying. It does not hurt the older one to have to wait, it does not hurt the little one to learn to self settle. So long as all three of you have your basic needs met, and there is love, then you will grow as a family. It is all about change. Good change, but little PFBs, and mummies, take a while to adjust. Baby knows nothing else, and only had his cord to play with previously, so anything is good!

I will update when I can, but this I know, he will be big, and born by section. He will be very big. And I will weigh less than I did when I got pregnant . He will also be my youngest, of that I have no doubt!

Take care my fellow oldies x it has been a pleasure travelling with you, and your support has meant the world to me