Fantastic 40+ Mum to be - part 2

[Hpbp]

Let's keep on chatting !
Awaiting to hear from you all.
Midget, how are you feeling after the sweep ?
Exexe, are you happy with the new kitchen ? Very glad to see you back on here.
Warm welcome to the only Dad we have on the thread, sorry I could not remember your name as I write this.
Have a lovely Monday. Pouring rain in Paris today.

Hello all, thank you for your kind words and thoughts, it means a lot.

Mum's funeral was last Monday, and though it sounds odd to say it was actually very good. The memorial speeches were very moving and spoke of their happy memoies, it was reassuring some how to know how much she was loved by everyone. My concerns now are for my Dad, who's alone after 50 years of marriage, but one day at a time.

Fortunately everything is going well with LO, midwife happy with progress, and he's still kicking all the time. Just need to survive my this week and then I'm on maternity leave.

knotty I hope you and your LO are doing well, and the ELCS went smoothly, do let us know how you are doing once you've had time to rest and recover.

Calibee and ovenready belated welcomes to the thread.

somewhere I'm so glad your Mum's illness isn't as bad as you feared, I hope she recovers as quickly as possible.

JBrd Hugs, I hope it's not as bad as it seems, fingers tightly crossed for you.

newchoos good luck with the scans

scarecrow A holiday? How fabulous, I never managed to leave the country this year. Originally the honeymoon was booked for Sri Lanka but we had to reschedule to the Cotswolds when got our BFP.

Eagleray I'm completely with you on the difficulty of lying down and in particular turning over. I've found my Dream Geniii pillow a godsend but if I stay in any position more than an hour I got sore and have to move. So I'm constantly waking up in the night and trying to get comfy and then trying to get back to sleep. So exhausting.

Riverside glad you're doing well. Having just had a brush with it i know how completely it knocks you for six. I hope you are getting some rest and some support from those around you. I can imagine how lost your Dad must be and I would imagine that for him a new grandchild might not be the worst thing to have coming up - although for you it will mean juggling a lot of responsibilities. Lovely that he's kicking and roll on maternity leave!

xxx

I had my scan this morning at the EPU, and sadly, my worst fears have been confirmed. They could see the sac, but it was empty

My bleeding had been getting worse and worse since Sunday, and since yesterday I had been passing clots, too. Initially small, but then bigger ones this morning...
Even though I had expected the outcome, I cried when the consultant gave me the results from the scan. You always cling on to that little bit of hope...
I've spent the rest of the day in bed and on the sofa, and I'm very tempted to take the rest of the week off work. I certainly won't be going in tomorrow.
It is so hard when all you hopes and expectations get crushed like that, and it's made worse by the fact that no one can tell you why it happened. Right now, I feel very wobbly and emotional, and incredibly tired.

I've had bloods taken, and will do again on Thursday, and then have another scan when we get back from Germany. Fortunately, we won't have to cancel our trip - they think that my body is doing it all naturally, so most likely no further action necessary from their side.

I have my lovely DH who is looking after me, and a couple of wonderful friends who are giving me every support possible. It doesn't take the pain away, but it makes me feel better. At the moment, I don't feel like telling our families, I might wait until after Christmas with that. We had planned to give them all the good news, but I don't think I can face giving the 'bad' news just yet.

So, I will be leaving this thread now. It's been lovely 'meeting' you all, sharing stories and experiences, and getting so much support. I wish you all every luck possible on your journeys to meet your wonderful babies, and I will be thinking of you lots.
I do hope that I might be back here before long, but for now I say good-bye to you all

Oh jbrd I 'm so so sorry to hear that. I guess its everybodies worst fear. Stuff work honey...it will wait. You need to rest and recuperate both mentally and physically.
Very very sad news
xx

I am so sorry Jbrd Lots of TLC for you and hope to see you again soon xx

oh jbrd so very sorry. Definitely take a week off. you need to look after yourself. Hope to see you here again soon xxxx

jbrd I'm so, so sorry to read your updates. Please take care of yourself & just forget about work. I hope your trip to Germany is something to look forward to. A big hug from me x

knotty looking forward to hearing your good news!

eagle won't be long for you either! Hope you can muddle through the next week or so to mat leave.

knicky hope your GTT results are ok. I work in a diabetic/obstetric service so feel free to ask anything! I also hope my offer isn't necessary.

scarecrow wow, California! Hope the sun is shining! And your DD will hopefully get the hang of jet-lag soon.

riverside take care, it must be so hard having a bereavement at this time of year.

I've got my amnio results: all clear & a girl!!! Yippee!!!!!

Great news cheese and a little girl..... xx
I have no idea what tests I will have to have...I am keeping fingers crossed that I get that far

Oh JBrd, I'm so sorry...that's what happened to me two years ago with twins...much love and many hugs xxxx

lotsofcheese Wahay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippeee!!!!!

somewherebecomingrain hope everything goes ok xxx

riverside many hugs

lotsofcheese that's fantastic. God this thread is seeing so many ups and downs right now.

hugs to all

xxxx

JBrd - really, really sorry you have had such bad news. Please be kind to yourself and definitely take the week off work. I went through similar this time last year and I felt rough for quite a while with crappy hormone stuff. Also somehow convinced myself that I would get pregnant again immediately, then didn't which compounded my misery. But 6 months later I did manage it. Really hope you are back on this thread soon.

Scarecrow - great to hear you are having a good trip with labradoodle craziness. I don't think my pain is SPD, or at least certainly not a bad, progressive version of it. Generally find it hard to walk after sitting in a chair for long periods of time, and overnight/getting out of bed is hideous, but the rest of the time it is generally ok.

Somewhere - sounds like you have had a stressful time of it recently, but glad your mum isn't as ill as you had feared. Your observations on pregnancy are interesting - I guess I have enjoyed it as much as I could (with various crises and stresses along the way) but feel like I have been pregnant for about a decade and can't imagine not being pregnant now (and definitely found it boring at some points, whilst always grateful that I was pregnant). It can be a brutal process and kind of see it as a surrendering of my body (and after my blood test results today I know the baby has made off with most of my haemoglobin!)

Riverside - great to hear from you and glad the funeral went well. I have just looked up Dream Genii on the web and hadn't actually seen one before! I did buy an ordinary elongated pillow but got cross with it after one night and chucked it on the floor where it has been ever since... We are finishing work on the same day by the looks of things - exciting stuff eh! I am more than ready to go now, will miss the money but really want to spend time pottering around and sorting out baby things.

Cheese - so pleased for you regarding your amnio news! I found out I was having a girl when I got the 'all clear' phone call too. I just cried and cried with relief and happiness which was pretty embarrassing as was stood in a public area at work (1000's of people in the building too!)

I am due 4 weeks friday and really need to do what I can to encourage the baby to come out before then as an induction is booked for the following week. I think at the end of the day though she will come out when she is ready....

Woken at midnight by DP - it seems possible he's got some investment and a new partner - another entrepreneur who has retired age 36. How did this happen to me? Im a timid guardian reading novel reading public sector type. It's not going to be enough for more than a coupla months even if it comes through as much will have to go into the business. But the regular job is prob not going to seem so compelling to dp now. You would not believe the financial strain we are under. Deep breath. It's like two pregnancies - the baby and his start up. Deep breath.

Eagle I feel a bit bad complaining after what others are going through and have gone through. I can confidently tell you actually having the baby is soooo wonderful. So, curry, sex (eagerlay!) pineapple and walking around, say, ikea? What else is there? This is a good topic

V excited for you

Xxx

Hi may I join the group? although I don't want to depress anyone which seeing as I feel like complete moaning,whining weeble at the mo it is likely. I'm 41 (just) and 34 weeks today. I have a Dh and gorgeous 4 year old son. Right that's positive stuff out the way! Basically, is it me or does anyone else just feel rubbish?? I can't sleep, every hour I wake and need the loo but like other posts I can't turn over. I have SPD and can't walk far and especially can't sit for more than 5mins. I'm showing big and had the usual diabetes test but that's fine but have been booked for a ELCS for 29/1/13 1 day before my due date. Do you think I could ask for this to be done sooner? Just a week, I had cs with my son as he was breach at 38+2. Don't get me wrong I've tried to bloom through out this pregnancy but I just don't feel right. In the day I can't walk and feel baby is on his way and feel useless pottering around the house doing not a lot but have a list as long as my arm but can't do. At night I seem to be having weird sweats where my head feels really hot and I start to panic and not get back to sleep. Anyway, rant over just wondered if anyone else having probs sleeping, relaxing at night?

Walk around Ikea? I heard when pg last time if you go into labour in Tesco you get a year's/lifetime's supply of goods. It might be an urban myth, but since John Lewis is on the way to hospital we used to plan joke that we should go there at the first sign of baby arriving...

Sending hugs to JBrd, Riverside and any others having difficult times, including Somewhere and these gruelling money worries. cheese delighted for you - and DDs rock!

Shattered and sore so excuse lack of quality catch up.

DAMASH I don't know about the others but you've got a pal right here. I'm in the non blooming can't wait for it to be over category. Can't believe my luck you've joined and now I don't look so bad. I too wouldn't mind an early csec except I do want an April baby cos lots of march birthdays in family already. Essentially 4 words - boring anxious limiting and a bit wierd.

Add physically gruelling to that checklist I guess. I am bloated breathless and have backache.I don't have SPd and I feel for those who do it sounds awful. All I can say is when I stand up I have to bend from the waist as if I'm 80 for a little while before I can straighten. I also hav been hit by insomnia tho I think that could be to do with general stress but last night woken at midnight still awake at 3am. Very unlike me.

Fwiw yesterday I took floradix and wow did my tiredness abate. Baby kicked loads too which was nice.

In response to your question my consultant was v keen on 39 weeks - I think you could ask for this and poss mention stats about older mums complications as worrying you this is something that they are tuned in to.

CHEESE oh yes and a girl! Im sort of rowing back from the girl thing cause I've been reading how they get girls wrong. I guess u don't have that prob! But so exciting. Have u had one before? I half fear half can't wait the long detailed wordy conversations ( hell who am
I fooling I'm like that - but some little girls have exhausted me with their ability to matter) and the nurturing tidying instincts I see in my gorgeous niece.

SCARECROQ nice to here from you look forwar to having you back after Xmas in less jet lagged form as you tell great stories and give good advice. In the meantime have a wonded Xmas I hope your little girl gets over her midnight party vibe soon!

Xxxx

Xxx

Wonderful xmas

Damash welcome! I'm with somewhere on the not enjoying pregnancy. I'm completely and utterly overwhelmed that at last I am pregnant and feel so bloody thankful but I do not do pregnancy well at all. Spent the weeks 4 to 18 with 'morning' sickness or all encompassing nausea, a couple of weeks after that was the start of SPD - that has now calmed down at 28 weeks and been replaced by mid-back pain. Thankfully not got insomnia (which must be hell you poor thing), but have got a 3 year DD who still doesn't sleep through the night on any regular basis, it's hard to tell....I generally get between 4 to 6 hours broken sleep a night. All of that said, saw my wonderful DD at her christmas play yesterday and my heart melted, so yes, it's all completely and utterly worth it.
jbrd so sorry to see you leave the thread for very sad reasons. I really do hope you get back here soon. Take time my love, rest and recuperate. Next year is another year and decisions for your future can wait till then. Be kind to yourself. Huge hugs.
riverside wonderful to hear from you. Wow - 50 years of marriage. My mum and dad were married 38 years when Dad died. I thought that she'd fall apart, and that first year without him was tough. In the second year though, she seemed to find her feet again and went travelling on solo holidays to Italy. I think that sometimes our lovely parents surprise us, and of course, he'll have a wonderful new grandchild to entertain him (which of course will be poignant at the same time for all of you....speaking of which, it's easy to forget ourselves to concentrate on the bereaved parent, but I hope you're doing OK too. It's so terribly tough in those first few months. Thinking of you xx)
cheese oh how fab! Wonderful news! I may be a little biased because of my DD, but think that little girls are wonderful. And it's just brilliant that the amnio has given the all clear. Much love honey.
eagleray you're next? 4 weeks?? You're nearly there! I'm crossing everything for you that baby makes an appearance before any inductions get going.

somewhere oh blimey sorry to hear about the ding dongs with your DP. Bloody hell not great at the best of times, but add a pregnant woman into the mix and these things can easily get very upsetting (I speak from having an almighty row with my DH just the other week). Ooh, I promise not to speak about Homeland but am loving it! Think it's one of the best programmes I've seen by far in the past year or so.

Blimey - this has turned into a massive post - hello to calibee, oven and knotty (no pressure honey, but please update when you can!!) I'm off to my 28 week midwife check tomorrow. Feeling fine, but be glad to get to the xmas break. 10 days off work though hubby is working all Christmas which is such a shame but to be expected in his line of work. Much love all.

Hi all! Sorry to post & run but I promise I will catch up properly asap. Rosa born at 10.32 on Monday 17th, weighed 8lb 1oz. Came home today. She is gorgeous and currently snoozing in her Moses basket. Fed almost constantly in hospital so no sleep and REALLY sore blister nipples already. Have decided to go to formula and feel much better already. Will read up on everyone as soon as I can but hope all is OK xxx

knotty . How lovely! Welcome Rosa! Decision re formula sounds sensible - you've GOT to feel ok that's the most important thing. 81b 1 oz what a lovely weight!

knicky sorry you're not loving PG either and having, erm, debates shall we say with your OH. I didn't realise DD still wasn't a sleeper - wow you are made of strong stuff to deal with that and work. Massive props to you and i hope you can spoil yourself over Xmas.

xxx

knotty fab fab fab to hear your news. . Welcome to the world lovely little Rosa. Somewhere is absolutely right - you've got to feel OK, so bring on the formula. Lovely that you're both home. Take up every offer of help offered - feel free to put your feet up and cuddle up to your new bundle. You deserve those wonderful cuddles.

somewhere I know! Not sleeping through at 3 years!! We mostly get 3 to 4 not great nights per week - the current reason - nightmares. Honestly, I don't mind too much - it's not like the old days where I had to cajole her back to sleep, she generally goes back quite quickly though she has wanted me to stay with her a few times. Must invest in a nightlight. Think that may help (she's just started to get a bit scared of the dark). But, she's a dream kid during the day - next to no tantrums or fussy eating - I truly am blessed in every other way with her. And yes, she tidies up too - takes things to the kitchen for me - even switching off the telly when asked (suspect this won't continue into the teen years......)

Damash sorry i missed your post last night. Night sweats ghastly - I had them last time and this time too. The odd night I'm spared I feel renewed: many days wake up feeling like I never went to sleep. Plus it's grim! I'm slightly less embarrassed now I've found a fellow sufferer. Are you under stress - I have found on this hols they have worn off a bit, which feeds my unscientific but plausible theory that they are at least partly stress related.
Much more worrying though is SPD - the others will know I'm slightly obsessed abouts this. My beloved sister has been nearly crippled by it, though not to panic you she had three DCs in under three years. The lesson we all learned though is you have to take it very very seriously: many medics say it will pass when you have DC and sort itself out. It nearly always does. But not always so don't take the risk. Plus it is wrong to assume you just have to grin and bear it. So insist on physio with a specialist in women's health as the minimum - afterwards too if necessary. Also might be worth consulting www.pelvicpartnership.org.uk ( there is another site I liked but hard to find: will post when do). There is nothing to suggest you will end up like my sister, unless you plan two more DCs v quickly and get no outside help; I only tell you this to make you insist on doc help. forgive me if I have worried you.

Thanks for kind words somewhere - DD was a star and slept in cot til 4.30 and then after spending 20 mins attempting to strike up conversation with us :) in our bed til 6.10. In our lives this constitutes a lie in! So far it has rained and been cold almost every day, including yesterday in Joshua Tree national park - which in its own way would have been magical, except DD got constipation, poor love, and screamed in agony for a slightly worrying 30-40 mins. Luckily I was pretty sure what it was and she bounced back. By which time DH and I were emotionally drained. But we are loving the time together, adoring it. "ruined" holidays was one of our concerns about DCs, but I find more happiness than I dreamed of sharing such times with her (though her highlights are definitely the sleeping in our bed, the dog, and running up and down the steps of the local police station...)

Talking of which, I dont mind pregnancy so much perhaps. My dread is 10 months of mummy-chat and no stimulation. Last time I was even more worried and loved every day of it (well most!), so know I'll be fine, but still my key anxiety. When it comes to motherhood though I really don't like pushing a pram. I feel I'm supposed to love it, but I feel like another being has invaded my body - I never feel comfortable. Plus the inability to wake up slowly is my No 1, 2 and 3 moan: I'm somebody who needs, ideally, long periods of time on my own. I now get precisely zero minutes on many days, and it is possibly the only thing that occasionally makes me want to scream. This is a very cathartic confession thread, somewhere, thanks!

PS the girl chatter is magical, really. Like others, having only ever wanted boys, am a HUGE fan of DDs now :)

OOhhh new babies...congratulations to knotty and welcome to Rosa...such a beautiful name.
As I'm still very new to this thread I'm not up to par on who is who and at what stages you all....but I am reading avidly as I just know that what you all go through will be something I face in the next few weeks.
So I'm at the very fresh stage of just 5 weeks today and decided to take the step of telling my (nearly) grown up son and daughters...they were all thrilled to bits for us. Infact my son admitted to feeling emotional and had tears in his eyes love him....and hes a toughy rugby type.
I am struggling at work though....the fatigue has set in and the stress due to staff shortages and lots of work is taking its toll. I was actually nervous and shaky there this afternooon (trying to deal with 3 things at once). I may well have to share my news at some point soon as I'm not prepared to let the stress take its toll. Is there a "good" time to tell work do you think??

knotty how utterly wonderful to hear news. And so thrilled you are home. Welcome to little Rosa. And love to you all. Take good care xx