Fantastic 40+ Mum to be - part 2

[Hpbp]

Let's keep on chatting !
Awaiting to hear from you all.
Midget, how are you feeling after the sweep ?
Exexe, are you happy with the new kitchen ? Very glad to see you back on here.
Warm welcome to the only Dad we have on the thread, sorry I could not remember your name as I write this.
Have a lovely Monday. Pouring rain in Paris today.

Thanks everyone.I think I've uploaded a photo to my profile if anyone wants a nose.

oh she's beautiful knotty!

blimey two DDs who don't sleep great... scarecrow and knicky!

re pregnancy I think lots of women do get on ok with pregnancy - it's a specific segment that don't like it so much - although there seem to be loads of us on mumsnet! I wouldn't either say i find those early months easy - there's a lot of boredom and life narrows down - i think i've said before i understand PND because it's a bit like being in prison, your life shrinks to the size of a postage stamp and all your pleasures are denied to you (goodness i'm persuading myself to feel a bit better about pregnancy i think??). But somehow it's totally different cause day and night is strung through with these golden moments and so much love and anticipation of what will my baby look like next time i look at him? even after a minute of looking away... and so on

what say you knotty? (i'm sure you haven't got time to think about this! to busy doing it!)

but scarecrow you found the early months easier than you thought?

Calibee my rule of thumb is to wait for the 12 week scan as various milestones have been passed which mean you can feel confident about the whole office knowing etc. But at the same time I think people do tell perhaps a boss earlier in confidence if they are having very bad problems with sickness etc. I hope you are doing ok - i think it can help to tell close family for sure and their reactions are lovely.

knicky what did you do re telling work?

(I didn't have a boss so couldn't tell anyone or take time off sick (wouldn't get paid). I just ploughed on with my work and it came out kinda wierd.)

Ahhhh brilliant - people who understand and empathise. Thank you all. Do you know I think that's all we need sometimes is someone to understand and feel our pain lol. I feel sooo much better knowing I'm not the only person suffering and and feel less guilty about not being this perfect glowing example of a mum to be.
Scarecrow - I do believe there is stress playing a part in all this as I' a bit of a worrier and can get myself in a tizz about stuff - my latest concerns are not loving the baby, not coping with the baby, birth either method! Losing the baby etc a big one for me is I was convinced I'd have a girl this time and the 20 week scan showed I was having another boy. Now common sense tells me I'll love him just as much as my first son but I can't shake off the worry of not doing so. I see my son as being the perfect little boy and can't see another boy being the same. Don't know if I've explained that right. I keep hearing 2 are never the same and this one will be the total opposite but that worries me as my little boy as been an angel baby, no tantrums, kind, loving and in my eyes perfect. There's also real issues I've had to deal with. I lost my mum to cancer last year and she won't see this little one and helped me massively with my first. My husband lost his job a few months ago but luckily found another pretty quick so we should be ok financially now but just that loss if earnings for a few months as set us back. So yeah I do think that stress/ anxiety is playing a part although I did see midwife today and she said lack of sleep can make you anxious and there are a lot of viruses out there making people feel washed out so I think I'm in a bit of a vicious circle. She also felt baby and agreed he's a big fella and pressing on my pelvis. Apparently, the SPD / groin pain is worse 2nd time round but she does think if I tell them how much i'm struggling when I go and sign my consent forms on the 10th they will most likely bring it forward so I'll see how I get on. Thanks again to everyone who replied, I feel so much better xx

Calibee I agree with Somewhere - I told my immediate boss in private c 7 weeks as was feeling washed out, permanently sick and often giddy - and we had a very high pressure long hours period looming. He was brilliant. I let slip to a couple of people in following weeks but didn't tell rest of people til 11-12 weeks, some til after 2nd (private scan because first Downs risk a bit high). I found that best combo for taking pressure off both ways.

knotty wow wow how utterly gorgeous Rosa is. Just munch able. I'm so happy for you. I love seeing baby pics. I've been feeling v un-broody about this pg and seeing little teeny babies definitely helps :) It was fun seeing your profile too - I didn't realise such things existed. Your DS looks adorable too. Is he as affectionate as he looks?

Somewhere DD was a textb

(Fat fingers) textbook baby if you ever ventured into Baby Whisperer world? From 3 weeks she went down like a lamb, awake, and woke twice then once a night to feed and went straight back down. My mistake was to never drop her 5am feed because she was so angelic (and I never knew how to do any actual parenting!!) so I didn't persuade her to drop it til c 15-16 mo, because it was making me so tired at work. That had set her too much in habit of 5am I fear, but after our tussles she mostly sleeps 11 hours straight 7-6am, and naps 1.5-2h at lunch, at least she does at home in her cot. So don't be put off by my rubbish 5am (lack of) parenting.

Did anybody else do BW? I was a bit BW-lite as not disciplined enough, but easily the closest thing to what we did.

I used the baby whisperer book with my first and need to pull it out again for another read before number 2 arrives. I thought the book/methods where fantastic and really gave me a sense of routine/ control. I loved the s.l.o.w method, the baby types and the putting baby down in there room not stuck in the living room. I also used toddler whisperer which gave great advice as well.

Ooh, didnt know there was a toddler whisperer - must look out. Thanks.

I should balance above by admitting napping was a bit more challenging sometimes, but a/ I felt she could get away with a lot because nights so easy, and b/ whenever I put my mind to it it worked out quite quickly.

somewhere I meant to ask, what was that thing beginning with F you took that made you feel so good?? I want!

Finally, did find early months easier than thought, but mostly because (a) I had an amazing NCT group and we met 1-3 times a week, and (b) I had (have) a long history of depression - now medicated - and the slight underlying concern it might return didn't materialise. On which subject - which I don't mind discussing but worry embarrasses other people - if anybody does ever have PND feel free to DM me (though as I've never had a DM you might need to tell me you have!)

And DH, having gone into such a blind spin of panic about fatherhood during 1st pg he refused to discuss almost at all and spent much of it getting drunk and out all night with female friends was absolutely incredible from moment DD born, and has been since. I gripe about stuff because you do after 12 years, but he is a wonderful father.

Wrote a long reply which I've lost.

SCARWCROW - Floradix from holland and Barrett. Many thoughts provoked by your Dh story! Mine didn't believe there was a baby till he saw it. He didn't really feel any need to be in the top league of help to mummy either before or after but he was transformed into an amazing father - he is so devoted. He was slogging away fill time in a stressful and decently paid job then so it was an alright deal.

DAMASH so pleased we've helped you feel more normal!!!! Baby whispere just didn't fit my son - he just didn't behave how it said re sleep but maybe dd will be different so will dig it out.

I gave ds bad habits but he is a decent sleeper now. We leave him at 8, he goes to sleep alone giving us extra time and wakes up about seven. But he is nearly 4 .

KNICKY double take 4-6 hours broken sleep a night? How do you cope? Do u share with dp? Is it improving?

Xxx

Xx

DAMASH my dp lost his job 3 years ago and has earned barely a bean for three years setting up things that succeed but dont pay on the jam tomorrow principle. My mum now got cancer mild but incurable. it dont help!

Xx

somewhere her sleep has definitely improved since the early days - she slept through from about 1 year and a couple of months. However, this has been interspersed ever since with runs of nights which have been utterly awful - be it teething or nightmares or illness of some sort or another. The latest spell of broken nights sleep has been because of night terrors/mares. She's scared stiff of father christmas and his bloody beard - it's either that or monsters... I guess that things are made worse as I'm a ridiculously light sleeper so rouse to any sort of noise - not great when you live with a shiftworker who gets up/comes in at all hours. 4 hours is probably an overstatement - it's more like 6 hours most nights, so honestly it's fine - i think it's almost helps that it's what your body gets used to. That said, it would be marvellous if the nightmares could stop, and new DS will be an angelic sleeper.....here's hoping! BTW, so so sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis - I hope this gives you some hope though but my uncle was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1994 and is still going strong nearly 20 years later. I hope it's the same sort of prognosis for your mum too.
calbee I told work about this pregnancy at about 6 weeks. I possibly wouldn't have done unless I absolutely had to, but unfortunately I was so terribly nauseous that I couldn't make it through meetings without running for the loo or eating a biscuit to try and ease the nausea.
knotty she's absolutely beautiful! Well done you!

Ooh, did a bit of the BW stuff - particulary the PUPD technique. That did seem to work a treat with DD. The other stuff didn't work so well though but I'm also going to have a rummage around for it to have a quick re-cap......
Just had my 28 week check - all fine, baby head down already but I'm guessing that could still all change. Measurements are bang on, and all is as it should be. Rhesus neg injection on Saturday and that's it for now, though the MW did ask whether I would be breastfeeding and I felt that familiar guilt type feeling so said yes, knowing that I'll more than likely turn to FF by the end of the first week.....

Thanks KNICJY nice to know re uncle and slightly relieved about your sleep!

Can I ask why you are having 28 wk scan? I have only ever had 12 and 20 wk scans. Some people seem to get lots of scans.

Xxx

Hey knotty congratulations honey. Xx. Look forward to seeing u in the other thread xx

knotty Wahoo Wahay! Congratulations to you all xxx

Damash I feel like I haven't slept a wink since this pregnancy started...need the loo all the time, have night sweats, and as I have a neuro condition, that sets that off too.... and I'm ages behind you!

as my DD nearly 14, had never heard of Baby Whispering book...will go and explore!

somewhere Money worries I know too well....lost my job nearly 2 years ago and still going through tribunal...and I was the major wage-earner....

scarecrow only having a DD, am quite scared of having a boy!
My DH going through phase of distance/blind panic about this. He's been married before but his are 16 /18 . He's terrified of being the oldest dad EVER....etc....terrified that 'something will happen to me'...

somewhere I know what you mean....I felt so isolated when I had my daughter....I felt cut off from the world, made even worse by the fact I was living in another country at the time and didn't know any other mothers.... Had no support network/group of people around me either....even ex-H's family were miles away...

As for me...still not damn well sleeping and my neuro stuff not helping. Was due to go to Neuro Unit for millions of tests, but will now have to be put back until after baby as apparently pg will mess all the results up. So they still won't put a name to it until I can go....

somewhere no scan today. The measurements I was referring to was the one the MW does with a tape measure from the top of your uterus to the bottom. Sorry to have confused! It came out at 28 cms bang on for 28 weeks so all as it should be. I know what you mean about some people seemingly getting loads of scans. I've had the textbook 12 and 20 week and that's it, though MW let me hear the heartbeat today which was just lovely.
badmissm oh blimey nothing worse than not sleeping. Poor you - and that neuro stuff sounds very frustrating. These bloody pregnancy hormones of ours are to blame again then?

knicky I think it must be, also was on sleeping meds before pg...because neuro problems wake me up. So with no sleeping meds and no neuro meds....plus the hormones... arrrgh!!!

I've updated the stats list, though with lots of vague dates and, I fear, probably mistakes ... But to give you an idea who is who after all the recent new joiners....

GRADUATED
10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp (now Blueblackdye), 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs?Oldandcobwebby?45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob
Knottyhair DC2 Rosa b 17/12 ELCS 8lb 1oz

PG
Crazyforbaby 44, DC6 due early Jan
ClickingTock 40, DC2 due early Jan, sex a surprise (although sonographer has probably spoiled it...)
Eagleray 41, DC1 due 18/1 Girl
Calibee, 42, DC2?, due Jan?
Danesh12, 41, DC2, due Jan?
Riversidelibrary 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
Swanlike 41, 31/1
Nananaps, 42, due Feb?
Spiderbabymum, 40, due Feb?
TheNoodles 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Cadmum 41, DC5 due 06/04, living in Thailand
somewherebecomingrain 40, DC2 girl due 11/4
Scarecrow22 42, DC2 due 22/4
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Onemoreforgoodmeasure 40, DC1 due 06/06
Siri1 41, DC1 due 12 June
Lotsofcheese, DC2?, due June?
Newchoos, 40, DC2?, due July/Aug?
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due July/Aug?
ScubaSarah, 39 (40 soon!), due July 22-Aug 1
Buzzbee, 40, DC2 due Sep?

Sorry i've been quite vague about so many new joiners, and also if I've made mistakes: just let me know correct details and I'll update

Knotty, congatulations, she is cute ! Enjoy little Rosa.

scarecrow brilliant! Have due date off 22/07/13 now!

Hi I'm due a boy 29/01/13 ELCS ( if I can't persuade them to bring it forward when I sign consent on the 10th) I already have a boy of 4 who was ELCS due to being breach. I'm amazed and relieved to see the amount of elective csections. i thought i was doing something wrong for not going down the natural route even though I already know it would be unlikely due to his size. But feel a little more positive about it now. My midwife did day she would much rather me be a planned csection than a failed vbac yesterday so we'll have to pray nature doesn't kick in first. Good luck all! Xx I'd say merry Christmas but it's probably more appropriate to say sober Christmas!

damash Nope, I'm planning on one too as nearly carked last time.... and I'm putting plans into place from the beginning as have tendency to start early!

scarecrow thats quite some list wow.
Just letting you know that I'm due Aug so a loooong old wait for me....still very early days. MS not even kicked in yet. Its DC4 for me...after a 15 year gap and it's DP's first. We have quite an age gap
The army gave me back my man for xmas on Wednesday...the first time he has seen me since our BFP. Much excitement in our house but also much to talk about (finances etc)....
I hope all you lovely ladies are ready for Christmas and Santa brings you all you wish for x

knotty congratulations Rosa looks adorable. Can't wait to meet my little boy for the first time.

damash your ELCS is on my due date, I'm seeing my consultant the week before and if he wants to induce I'll be asking for a ELCS on the same day!

cheese fantastic that your amnio was clear, such a relief, and a little girl wonderful.

Had a really stressful week at work, including breaking down in tears in the office on Wednesday (was physically exhausted and then had a really vivid memory of Mum's death and just couldn't hold it together). So agreed with work I could not come in today and start Xmas early. Such a relief, can sort out my final Xmas bits and then relax at the weekend before Dad arrives.

oh river I feel for you. I remember getting terrible flashbacks about Dad's final days. Took me a while to try and remember the good times. It's such early days though, I'm glad that you're not in work. Christmas may be difficult this year but I hope that you'll have some wonderful times to come early in the new year. Be kind to yourself and relax before your Dad arrives - because if you're anything like me, you'll be looking after the bereaved parent rather than thinking of yourself (so please make sure you have some time to pamper yourself over the xmas break).
calibee lovely to hear you have your man home for Christmas. It must be so tough when he's away. My DH isn't away, but does do shifts and is working the whole of Christmas and New Year, including xmas eve, day and boxing day. I'm gutted he won't be hear for xmas dinner, but he said he'd put in for annual leave early next year to try and guarantee next xmas off.
badmissm I'm experiencing similar issues with sleep at the mo - DD's nightmares continue and also I've got restless legs at night. Bloody annoying. Feeling dead on my feet today

Ladies dont you all worry your little ones will arrive all cute as bugs. It's not that ago in the summer I was shitting myself about child birth. Dont worry. Do your birth plans take charge where you can enjoy seeing your little one for the first time and being able to catch a glimpse of your lady garden. !!!! Please come over to the grads thread when u r ready. It is friendly and we have a good laugh. All welcome.