How painful is labour?

[MayimBialik]

I'm sure the answer will be very/extremely/agonisingly! But what is the most painful part? Is it the contractions? What do they feel like? Bad period pains but they go on for so long it gets exhausting? Or worse? Or is the most painful part the pushing? How long does that last for?

Just starting to wonder more and more about the whole thing. I'm hopefully having a waterbirth and am really looking forward to it. Im being a bit naive at the moment thinking I have a high pain threshold and always suffered from horrendous period pains so it can't be that bad....feel free to bring me back to reality!

Labour pain is as much pychological, although the pain of tearing is definately physiological. Crowning is not particularly painful unless you are unlucky enough to tear.

Many women are absolutely terrified when they go into labour because of horror stories. For example the women who scream their heads off when they are only 2cm dilated are experiencing pain because they are tense and scared rather than because of labour. Programmes like OBEM rarely show non eventual births. Women experience high levels of pain because they are expecting pain. It is possible to alter a person's pain threshold through hypnotism.

Learning good breathing techniques and relaxation techniques will help to reduce pain. An active birth also helps reduce pain and speeds up labour. I also recommend hypnotheraphy to reduce anxiety. There is no point in worrying about what might go wrong, and its best to let the midwife do the worrying.

I think that labour is one of those life experiences that you cannot plan or really be in control. Epidurals are great if you have a very long labour or pain is really too much. I think that people who have very rigid birth plans set themselves up for disappointment.

DD1, induced labour. The worst bit by far was the throwing up and ridiculous diarrhoea I had quite near the start of labour. I came over all faint afterwards in the loos. When I grumbled to the nurses that I thought I was going to die, they told me in disparaging tones it was normal. Normal?! So why not warn me beforehand, then?

DD2, I slept through most of it (sorry, people tend to want to gouge my eyes out when I say this ). I woke up feeling a bit strange, thought I should time the contractions, decided they were probably less than 3 minutes apart and phoned the midwife just in case. She had a hard job persuading me not to leave it until the morning! Morning would have been too late, DD was born just over an hour after that phone call. The last half hour, the transition bit, I was a bit spaced out and kept demanding to go home, but the rest was fine.

Quick easy labours can be a double edged sword, mind you. You're suddenly holding this baby and you haven't really had time to process where it came from. That might sound stupid when you've had 9 months, but I'm sure anyone else who woke up just before having the baby will have an idea what I mean! She was born early as well so it took me a day or so to get my head round the fact I'd actually had her.

All in all, I think I was helped enormously by my mum who always told me she'd rather have a baby than go to the dentist. It made me relaxed over it. She was right, by the way - so would I!

I found contractions much like how I imagined it would feel if a bus ran over you, and the reversed back over you. But I was induced early with back to back labour so it was all pretty hard and fast. Hoping or deluding myself that it will all be much better this time. I'd said no drugs that would cross to the baby but would have gladly mainlined heroin if I had thought it would make the pain go away. I wasn't prepared at all for how much it would hurt, this time I am and I hope that will be my best defence.

The pain was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. I used gas and air plus pethidine, and the pushing felt like massively hard work, or being turned inside out, but bizarrely not like pain, which I do recall from an earlier phase. DH says I did cry out, but didn't scream. He no longer considers me a dreadful wuss about pain! Oh, and my pains were in my back and legs, not my bump, which I also didn't expect.

yes it hurts - more than you would think possible
it does not get easier - no easier - i had more pain relief each time...
i beg to die and i mean it

Sorry, hit post too soon! I would add that my birth plan said that I didn't want to be in needless pain, and the MW offered me more pain relief before I felt the need to ask for it.

Would also suggest you take the paracetamol they offer constantly post-natally, will help you to get moving more easily as soon as possible.

Keep the gas and air if you do have internals btw!

Oh yes, labour smarts a tad.

DS took 10 hours to make his way into the world - and the first 7 I was at home. I took paracetamol for the pain (the maternity unit was apparently busy) and did lots of walking around. Once we got to the hospital it was a whirlwind of pain, and the wonderful g&a. Pushing DS out was exhausting and I had to have a ventouse in the end. After you have the baby the pain stops immediately (apart from getting rid of the placenta). That's just marvelous.

DD was a 9 hour labour, contractions were all over the place to begin with and weren't that painful. We decided to go into hospital after the contractions started steadying themselves. Once we got there the contractions really got underway and I was in a lot of pain. G&A helped and I was given pethidine, and funnily enough the best thing was DP rubbing my back. The contractions seemed to take over my whole body, but the relief in between was beautiful.
Pushing DD was so much easier because I was listening to my body rather than the midwives. I just followed my natural instinct (it really does kick in) and she was born quickly, with only a graze. With DS people were telling me how to push, and I ended up with stitches. If they'd just let me be it would have been easier.

So, um, it hurts like a bitch. My mantra was "it's not forever", if you labour long enough they will intervene, it feels like it's never going to end but it does!

DS2 was a ventouse delivery. I had no time for an epidural so they gave me a pudendal block (mega injection of local anaesthetic up the lady bits with long needle) and got on with it. By the time I came to having stitches the pain relief had kicked in so with a bit of G+A for the deeper ones it was not so bad. The contractions were fine, I got to 9cm dilated with no pain relief and just G+A for the rest of it other than the local for the instrumental delivery. DS got stuck and was showing signs of distress otherwise they would have let me push a bit more. He was 9lbs 15 and awkwardly positioned. DS1 eas 8lb 9 and unassisted, though I did have pethidine that time as it was more drawn out - 18 hrs vs 5 hrs! I guess you just can't say how it will go, I disprove the theory that second babies are easier. But you can and do cope, you feel so different doing it to thinking about what it will be like.

I have a high pain threshold. A broken ankle was a doddle compared to the pain of those damned babies pushing on my cervix for tens of hours. Effing painful. I was relieved to require a crash CS for number 4.

ReallyTired, with respect you are talking bolleaux. You are lucky to be wired up in a such a way that you find labour relatively pain-free. It has feck all to do with psychology. Everyone is wired up differently. I would not presume to understand someone else's pain levels or interpret them as lack of preparation or knowledge. I was extensively prepared, I have had four babies, yet I can assure you that each birth (apart from the CS) hurt like absolute buggery. Two born at home, both without a tear and me in a perfectly upright position. Still sodding painful.

the pain scale for things I have encountered
1=ear infection
2=first labour
3=kidney stones
4=inflamed gall bladder
5=tattoo cover up on back
6=second labour
7=toothache
8=bad period pains
9=tattoo
10=trapped wind
HTH

I've had vile period pains that I had to curl up and breath through, but yeah, labour was worse. The early twinges were very mild, then ran the gamut of my period pain experience from a slight bother to ohfuckI'mgoingtopuke. Then got more intense still. By the time I'd got to 3 cm I was rolling about groaning and weeping, sure I wanted to throw the whole birth plan out the window and have an epidural, but as soon as they gave me the gas & air I coped fine. It's not so much that it stopped the pain, but if I kept huffing it in (you do have to breathe it in all throughout a contraction without stopping), it was as if I went floating up just above the pain through each contraction - I knew it was happening but it didn't bother me.

I was so high that transition didn't really register as a thing, and as soon as I started pushing I felt more in control - it was satisfying in a weird way. They did try to send me a for a pee at one point but I refused to abandon the Entonox! Pushed for maybe an hour and a half, but it felt like less. I was scared that it would be completely exhausting, but it wasn't for the length of time that I did it - I hadn't realised how much of the work my body would just do of its own accord.

I was effectively 6-7 cm dilated when I went to the hospital and my mum (who's had 7 children of her own and is a grandmother to 19 kids now) told me I'll have a baby in a couple of hours time. I was excited and thought I was going to be one of those women who later claim "giving birth is easy". 4 days later, having felt like I died three times, suffering a third degree tear with failed ventouse, forceps and an episiotomy, I feel like everything that could have gone wrong, did.

My advice: water is definitely helpful, but be prepared for it to slow down contractions, possibly. Do NOT let staff convince you to take co-codamol, especially when you're coping fine with the contractions - it killed my contractions and made what should have lasted hours last for days instead. Finally, make sure your birthing partner knows your intentions: I begged and pleaded with what little life I had in me for an epidural when it all went wrong (baby turned occipital posterior but no one knew at the time) and no one listened to me, including my husband who told the staff I didn't really need it!

I should add, I was later wheeled to theatre for my delivery when staff eventually clicked what was happening and was given that epidural. I had no energy or inclination to welcome my newborn into the world, it was not at all the happy moment I was waiting for. I couldn't keep my eyes open For sheer exhaustion and didn't really bond with her in those early days as a result.

Been induced 3 times. DS1 was 12 days late, I had pethidine, could still feel the pain of the contractions but the pethidine made me feel drunk so took the edge off. The worst pain was, after 2.5 hours pushing, when his head arrived and I got a 3rd degree tear, he was 10lb 10oz. The MWs congratulated me on how calm I had been throughout. I had to go to theatre and get a spinal anaesthetic to get stitched.

2nd time was abroad in Belgium and the only pain relief offered was an epidural, no gas & air/pethidine etc. They induced me on my due date in case it was another big baby and I didn't argue! Had the epidural, which had a button so I could control the dose, and I could feel what was happening but had no pain. DS2 was 8lb 9oz and born, as the MW called it "starstruck", i.e. back to back.

DS3 was also induced, 5 days late. I had gas & air which seemed to have little effect except give me something to hang on to and I was cursing and swearing like nobody's business. Eventually it was too much and I asked for an epidural but it took half an hour for a doctor to arrive and by then Ds3 had arrived, 9lb 13oz.

My pain was certainly not psychological. I was a thirty something mum with my first and had read every book going and attended all the classes, couldn't have done any more prep to be honest. It's completely different for everybody and you won't know what's going to happen till it does!

I would say, keep an open mind and keep your plans flexible. Luckily for me someone had warned me it could be different if you were induced. What happened with me each time is that once labour started it moved quite quickly and I went from " this feels like not too bad period pain" to "OMG this is excruciating" very quickly. I don't know if the pain is worse because you're induced or if it's because there is no gradual build up so you have no chance to acclimatise.

However, I echo what some others have said, I would rather go through another labour than another pregnancy- nausea till gone 6 months, back problems etc. etc. etc.

look don't worry, its in there and it has to come out. Aye it will be sore but we are all here to tell out tales of woe, and some of us have even had more, so it can't be that bad. Just remember that the pain is worth it cos it brings you something so wonderful. And honestly, if it was that bad none of us would ever do it again. It will be fine, you'll be fine and baby will be soworth all the effort

For me it really wasnt that painful at all

i had a hypno birth at home (supposed to be in water, but due to lack of pain i didnt realise i was in proper labour so the pool wasnt ready)

I found the actual birth like a nasty stingy paper cut, and the rest really wasnt that bad
(the midwife came round because she was about anyway just to see how i was.... i was 7cm... 20 mins later i was a mummy and midwife 2 hadnt even arrived)

I had no painrelief and had just use my TENS (I put it on as they said to put it on early.... i thought it was early.... during the birth i had it on level 4 (out of 10) and used boost for the actual birth too.

Otherwise no painrelief and it really didnt hurt me that much either.

(I also had the attitude that it wouldnt be that bad.... my natal hypnotherapy CDs helped with that, as did my mum (who gave birth twice without any drugs) and both my grandmothers who have had 6 easy births between them. In my mind I knew it would be ok.... and sure enough, it was)

Bloody painful - back to back induced labour. The feeling of needing to bear down with every contraction was awful. I must admit I was very anxious before and during my induction but I don't think any amount of psychological preparation would have taken away the pain. The only thing that helped was having my back rubbed - and then finally an epidural. The epidural didn't fully work though so could still feel pain down one side.

First time around, labour was incredibly painful, my contractions felt like someone hitting me over the back, hard, with a steel pole (sorry!). I couldn't cope, lost control a bit and ended up with an epidural. I hadn't felt anything like it, ever.

Second time, it was as painful, but much quicker. I remember asking for an epidural, my mum (was with me and DH) said to give it an hour and then ask. Within the hour I was pushing for 3 minutes and DS2 was born. No epidural and I am thankful to my mum for encouraging me to hold out a bit, as it was so close and I think she knew that (she didn't discourage me from having epidural with DS1).

The worst bit was the transition, constant non-stop contractions. But sometimes I think when it gets to that stage, you can't really think of how bad it is, you just do it. Whereas at the beginning / middle, the gaps in between the contractions, I got upset as it hurt so much. I didn't have time to get upset towards the end, if that makes sense?

Pushing didn't hurt me, I just knew I needed to push and it felt so close.

But it really is 'how long is a piece of string'. My sister loved labour and found it really empowering and was laughing in between contractions.

Nothing can prepare you as ALL labours are very, very different. I've done it 4 times and each one different from the other.
ds1 - induced due to pre-eclampsia. 2.5 hour labour, 2 pushes he was out. Bearable pain. Wonderful experience.
dd1 - 2 hour labour. bearable til she crowned, NEVER known pain like it. 10 mins pushing, she was out. Painful, but lovely experience.
dd2- induced, 1 hour 40 min labour. 10 mins pushing. Back to back labour, HORRENDOUS, thought I was actually dying, truly thought my family would would be told baby ok, mum gone. However, babe at end made it all worth while.
ds2 - induced. Midwife broke my waters, 5 mins later I told hubby I could feel pressure, midwife check omg head's there, please don't push yet, we're not ready! NO pains at all, NO pain while pushing babe out.
I think I've been lucky, so pleased my labours weren't long. Think I also have a high pain threshold.
You do get through it, no matter how bad it is, and you do it all again a few years later

HAven't managed to read the whole thread, but wanted to make one point re period pain.

Mayim - if you've spent your adult life having to breath through period pain then that experience could really help you in labour! When my gas and air ran out (long story! shouldn't happen to you!) I used all the breathing patterns that had helped me with my horrible period pain and it really did work. As others have said, state of mind is really important, and doing all that breathing kept my mind focused and my body relaxed.

You might like to take a look at www.tellmeagoodbirthstory.com - a new volunteer-run service to help increase confidence around birth. You can request a volunteer birth buddy for support before the birth. Regardless, your breathing techniques will be a massive help.