How painful is labour?

[MayimBialik]

I'm sure the answer will be very/extremely/agonisingly! But what is the most painful part? Is it the contractions? What do they feel like? Bad period pains but they go on for so long it gets exhausting? Or worse? Or is the most painful part the pushing? How long does that last for?

Just starting to wonder more and more about the whole thing. I'm hopefully having a waterbirth and am really looking forward to it. Im being a bit naive at the moment thinking I have a high pain threshold and always suffered from horrendous period pains so it can't be that bad....feel free to bring me back to reality!

See OP, no two answers the same

I found early labour very bearable, 8-10cms agonising, pushing was wonderful (something to focus on and very quick) and didn't feel the stitches at all (luckily the local anaesthetic was very effective for me) - and I didn't need any painkillers for the one or two afterpains I had.

emsyj I felt 'out of it' each time too and it annoyed me after as I wanted to remember all of it. With my third, I did think I was dying and it had nothing to do with the level of pain - I am interested to read this as I thought I was very odd to think this

I had a seven (yes, seven) hour pushing phase. That is extremely unusual, though. I didn't notice crowning at all. It was painful but I only needed gas and air for the first stage.

Next time I'm going to have a doula. I think with a bit of help and encouragement to get into more active birthing positions.

Another one pregnant with DC1 here finding this very helpful. Several posters have said that being prepared helps so see, you are helping us

I had considered starting a thread like this as wanted to know whether it was completely unrealistic of me for "plan A" to be not to have an epidural. Most stories I'd seen before had made me think that that would be impossible (well not impossible but YSWIM) so it is nice to see that other first-time mums have managed it and not been traumatised as a result!

Seven hours?!

Birth One: Generally bearable up to pushing stage, which lasted 2.5 hours. Crowning was very 'ouch!', but it was not horrific.

Birth Two: Was still making beds (for my parents!) and saying good night to DC1 30 mins before DC2 arrived, so fairly bearable . Again pushing crowning was very painful, but super quick (DS nearly appeared in the car!).

Tbh, my worse memory is the after pains I had with DS (DC2). Had to take painkillers constantly, and every time I fed him for a few days I was in AGONY!

It's different for everyone, and I totally get that. But you sound a lot like me (I had to check I didn't write that post myself a few months ago!). I also had a history of bad period pains, a planned waterbirth, and a high pain threshold.
My experience was that the pain was not that bad. Sorry everyone, but I have to say it. It was very similar to period pain, but less horrible because it comes on for a minute or so and then STOPS (and then comes again, of course). Period pain just goes on relentessly for hours / days. Breathing through it helped a lot, as does staying calm. I was in labour for 82 hours and although yes, I felt exhausted, it was never too painful to bear, and certainly not the most painful thing I've ever felt (and I've broken my ribs twice). I didn't have any pain relief beyond the pool and 2 paracetamol. PUshing baby out didn't hurt at all - it felt BRILLIANT. The whole labour and days before I felt mahooosively constipated (=baby's head wedged down) and pushing him out felt like finally doing the biggest sh*t of your life - SUCH a relief! Could definitely feel the head coming out, which wasn't exactly pleasant but wasn't very painful either (water birth helps a lot with this, as it softens everything up nicely).
It's pretty retro but I reccomend the book "Childbirth without fear". It certainly helped me prepare and now one of my favourite memories in the world is reliving the birth moment by moment - I read my labour notes when I need cheering up. For what it's worth, baby is 6 months old now so I'm not talking about a rose-tinted memory from 30 years ago. Good luck, and ENJOY IT! I can't wait to do it again :)

It is different for everyone.

With both my children I went from 1st Braxton Hicks type contraction to throwing up within about half an hour. For me the contractions were exactly like very strong period pains and were the most painful part. I have never done the 'taking a walk/having a massage/lying in the bath bit'. Things have always moved very quickly.

With second child I got to hospital too late for epidural. I hate gas and air so I did the whole thing on 2 paracetamol. I can remember saying to DH "Remind me never to tell anybody that this wasn't painful", which is a good thing, because if I hadn't said that I probably would be going on about the wonders of an unmedicated birth, because I can remember that it was painful, just not the actual pain. I do however remember that I was so desperate to get it over with that I wasn't really bothered about the pain of pushing a baby out. It does feel just like excreting a water melon, and I did have stitches afterwards, but mainly I just wanted a cup of tea.

Not unusual Fiveflowers according to my ante natal classes - and I think I may have seen it mentioned in a book somewhere too?? Perhaps it is biologically to do with the need to find somewhere quiet and private for the baby's safety (on the assumption that you & baby would be vulnerable whilst birthing) - a bit like how cats find quiet, dark places both to birth and to die?

Like I said though, it didn't happen to me so no need to be scared about that OP!

My longest labour was 2 hours, shortest 30 mins.

Trips to the hairdressers were more painful for me. I have very tight curly hair and when they used to pull it through that cap thing the pain was unbearable.

Labour a doddle after this. Although after ds1 because of quick delivery the after pain was bad.

Spotty, yep :(

I was on continuous monitoring because there was meconium in my waters, but it meant that throughout, my MW was content that DS was coping very well.

I have very mixed feelings about it all - the MW was trying to support me in my aim to have minimum intervention in unfortunate circumstances, and I was grateful to avoid anything more serious than a small tear.

With hindsight though I was so utterly, bone-crushingly tired by the time DS arrived that everything spiralled into pretty grim PND. Hence wanting a doula this time - and ideally, to be at home too (although I know from experience that birth sometimes take unexpected paths).

Labour definitely hurt, but it was useful pain, purposeful and I found the rhythm and gradual ramping up of the contractions made them copable with. As PP have said, there are gaps between them, and I hadn't hoisted in how blissful a whole minute between contractions - even near the end - can be, and I really used it to gather my thoughts and refocus.

I enjoyed both my labours, managing and coping with contractions and working with my body felt great. (I find transition and crowning unpleasant and just want it over with by then!) I genuinely look back with pride and pleasure on my labours. i was lucky enough to stay at home for both births and I'm sure that helped as I could follow my instincts without interruption.

My hypnobirth CDs, active birth classes and having read loads of positive stuff beforehand all helped me to cope. I began to panic a couple of times and it was definitely worse when i lost control a bit.

Good luck!

Crowning was a twat though.

DiddyDragon was a 3 day carcrash of a delivery, contractions started 10 minutes apart & got closer from there, full on teeth clenching pain from the first one. I lasted almost 48 hours before I had the epidural but by that point I'd lost 2 night's sleep & had lost the will to live. (Prior to that I'd had every drug going but none of them dealt with it for very long.) Once the epidural kicked in it was all very civilised & lovely, even the forceps and post partum hemorrhage. I also got an infection afterwards that was as painful as labour had been.

Amazingly this didn't put me off & a few years later I had DiddyCakes. I wasn't worried about going through labour again in the slightest. He was induced, but frankly they needn't have bothered as he shot out after 40 minutes. (Not ready, my fecking arse.) There was no time for any pain relief other than G&A and nobody was expecting him to arrive when he did. (Was born in his waters, scared the shit out of the MW, I didn't so much push as just be present while he sorted things out for himself.) I clearly remember thinking that it was the most horrific thing I'd ever done & I was NEVER doing it again.

Both were completely different, but I felt utterly invincible afterwards both times. First time for surviving and having a fabulous daughter; second time for managing to have a swift labour and an awesome son.

I won't be having any more kids, but that's got nothing to do with labour. :)

Oh yes, and meant to say - take your painkillers afterwards. There are no bonus prizes for being brave through the recovery & first few weeks of feeding (if that's the method you chose).

worse bit for me were the afterpains, dont know if this is the same for others but with each child they get worse out of all my labours after the first 2 the after cramps were so bad they have been the only time i have ever requested any pain relif. i tend to give birth with nothing then have pain killers after the placenter has come out and use them for about a week.

besides if it was dreadful nobody would ever do it more than once

I had a very positive experience twice and the only advice I took in - not to be scared of any pain - was so crucial to me and I didn't need any birth classes or anything other than to feel 'safe' and supported by caring midwives and the second time by a doula. I can't say I enjoyed them completely as both times I had moments of thinking it was more than I could bear (I'm a size 10 and DS was 9lb 5 so no wonder) but as a result I felt absolutely euphoric I managed and look back with complete wonder at how amazing birth is.
Really hope it goes brilliantly for you and I really think you can help this by making sure you feel supported, safe and relax whenever you feel scared of any pain!

Labour hurt.

Stitches for second degree tear fucking hurt a LOT. I had gas and air and was holding dd so I suppose I should have been euphoric but every one of those five million anaesthetic injections was horrendous. I spent half an hour viciously hating everyone who had assured me that the pain stops once the baby is out.

On a scale of 1 to 10, it's 10,000,000.

Mine were both fine. Absolutely fine.

DS was a lovely birth. I know it sounds silly but I felt so fantastic afterwards, I really don't think it could have gone any better (for a birth!) :o

Born at home in water, labour 3 hours long.
Contractions were like period pains for most of that. No worse than bad period pains. By transition they were more painful, but pushing helped the pain - don't know if it was distraction or what though.
Transition wasn't nice - I think partly because your emotions suddenly overwhelm you and that makes it harder to cope with the pain. Delivery was fine, painful but the end is in sight. I also found crowing quite sore, and said at the time "I feel like I'm going to split in 2!" :o But much better in the water than out of it.
Lost very little blood, no tears or anything, was in bed with a cup of tea and a scone an hour after, and I felt GREAT!

Oh god after reading these stories i seriously am scared now. This is my 3rd, last was ten years ago!! Im 40 now and think jy body to old for it!

DD came within an hour of 1st contraction so only had gas and air. Not too scary as i went on to have DS two years later.

DS was induced as contracted infection, didnt feel one contraction or pushing stage but was violently sick after the birth and felt terrible for hours after so didnt want to hold DS or anything.

Yup. Excruciating.

But given the chance, I'd do it again tomorrow. The high afterwards is incredible. The baby's nice too

I was lucky in that,although my labours were longish [26 hours and 11 hours] they were not very painful.It was in the 70's and I used the breathing techniques from Erna Wright's book 'The New Childbirth'.
With dc1 I had no pain relief and the pains were like moderate period pains but each pain rose to a peak then slowly went away till the next one started.
I remember saying to the doctor,'This is all very well but when it get going?' He replied,'Stop talking and push-your baby is here!' Ten minutes later I was cuddling ds.
Dc2 was awkward because the midwife kept trying to push gas and air at me 'to take the edge off'.She didnt believe me when I said I could manage without but eventually she let me be and dd was born with another short second stage.
My own dd has had two very easy deliveries too.
Ask your mum if you can-it often follows suit.

I feel lucky that I had a very positive experience with the birth of my son. Lucky in that it was uncomplicated and relatively quick. He arrived a day before the due date, period pain started at 4am and I could laydown then it soon got to pain that I couldnt lay down anymore and had to be on all fours, bent over to manage the oncoming contractions but they do come and go which makes it bearable. The most unpleasant thing that I wasnt expecting was being sick twice. I dont know how anyone can labour on their back in a bed - I need to be on all fours and moving most of the time. The tens machine really helped and got me to 5cm when I arrived at the hospital about 10am and a pool was free - got in the water 11ish and my son arrived 11.50 ish. I dont remember the pain, gas and air was good - it didnt make me feel sick and I kept sipping water which helped too. All I can say is I went into a zone, and my body totally took over, you can't stop it and it just progresses, its primeval. Water definately gave me an element of pain relief too.

Have previously posted but adding even though I'm as old as methuselah It absolutely knacks! but would do it again in the blink of an eye if I could!!

i laboured from 6am friday and had section at 1630 next day. Yes it was tiring but wonderful when the baby arrives. Main feeling l felt was tiredness and shock!
I loved the gas and air. For me what really helped was DH teling me to control my breathing. Its hard to explain but l found as the pain incraesed with each contraction, try to keep breathing slow and steady. I "lost" it a few times but once l controlled the breathing again it helped. Ended up with a section but epidural was a dream and as my son was 9lb 2 and l am 5foot 2, l was not complaining. Recovery from section for me was fine as well although annoying no driving for 6 weeks.

I think you have a fantastic attitude and am sure you wlll do great. Its all a jouney into the unknown, no one really knows what to expect or how they will be when it happens. But l think a positive attitude goes a long way......good luck!!!

I would say the after pains are worse! With dc's 5 and 6 they were worse than giving birth!