How painful is labour?

[MayimBialik]

I'm sure the answer will be very/extremely/agonisingly! But what is the most painful part? Is it the contractions? What do they feel like? Bad period pains but they go on for so long it gets exhausting? Or worse? Or is the most painful part the pushing? How long does that last for?

Just starting to wonder more and more about the whole thing. I'm hopefully having a waterbirth and am really looking forward to it. Im being a bit naive at the moment thinking I have a high pain threshold and always suffered from horrendous period pains so it can't be that bad....feel free to bring me back to reality!

I do think there is something about the expectation you have TBH. I didn't have a very detailed birth plan, other than wanting to be able to move about if I wanted to, and that I wanted all available pain relief. Some mums I know set themselves up to fail IMO with very rigid plans aiming for a perfect birth, which they don't always get for many different reasons. Mine ended with my legs in stirrups for a ventouse delivery at speed, but DS was fine, I stayed in for 5 nights to rest and get bf support so I healed quickly, and we were both fine.

The pain has a purpose and it doesn't last forever. Take every offer of pain relief available if that's what you want, and you'll cope.

Oh, and don't forget to take a great big sports-type squirty water bottle, it will make peeing afterwards MUCH more comfy if you are cut/ tear!

Crowning - it feels like shitting a melon Take a long list of swear words in with you!

best description i've heard of crowning is - chinese burn to your fanjo .... how absolutely true! but i only had this with 1 of my 4 dc so don't get het up/frightened on this one part, it may not even happen that way for you ..

someone a mam once said he didnt believe labour was any more painful than having a big poo so i replied 'Yes indeed, if you regularily poo pinapples' that's how i'd describe labour!

I've had two, one long labour, one short, and I maintain that if I had to choose between having a tooth extracted and giving birth I'd take the birth any day. I reckon in hindsight I was pretty lucky but there's a very good chance it won't be too bad. A hell of an effort, but not too bad.

There is tendency with some women to exaggerate their birth stories ie. how good, bad, gory. I think with labour its better to think of "work" rather than pain. I think labour is a bit like running a marathon. You will sweat like a pig and its incredibly intense.

With my first baby I had a 33 hour labour and it was agony. I had an equidural for the last 6 hours. Part of the problem was that my son was in a hideous position and also partly I was incredibly scared. I had awful experiences with bossy midwives being obcessed about the continous monitoring trace. I had the midwife and the obstrictian in the room talking about doing a c-section, refering to me in the third person as if I wasn't in the room and trying to bully me into being induced.

With my second baby the labour was just over 3 hours and I had nothing but TENS. DD was born at home with a lovely midwife. The whole thing was so relaxed.

elizaregina, I don't see how practical it is to inflict pain on pregnant women. Teaching women to manage pain is a life skill. I used breathing techniques to manage pain when I got my legs waxed or had blood tests or anti-D injections.

All pain is pychological and infact people have managed to have full blown operations under hypnosis. If you think about it, its our brain that decides a sensation is pain. Techniques like mindfulness or medication can be used to reduce long term pain from arthitis or even SPD. Also the language that doctors or midwives use affects a person's pain threshold.

For example saying to a woman "Your pain is nothing compared to what you are going to experience later" is not constructive. It makes her feel scared and tense. Negative language like "She's only 2 cm dilated" can make some women feel dishearted when they have been in labour for four hours. Especially as many women will be 2cm dilated as their cervix is thining before it pulls back. A woman can then suddenly go from 2cm to 9cm very quickly. Her body may well be working hard, even if she is not obviously dilating.

Saying that nothing is worse than the pain of childbirth is plain stupid. There are lots of ways that unlucky people experience extreme pain.

In all honesty, my labour wasn't as bad as some awful period pains I've had in the past. I used hypnobirthing(mainly the breathing techniques and listening over and over to a relaxing song), a tens machine and gas and air for the last hour. I remember a stinging right when my baby's head came out but the rest I found manageable. I did labour mostly in my back though so not a totally classic one. Actually i found the stitches i had the most painful bit.

I'm not dreading my next labour at all but will be relying on those same techniques again as they seemed to work for me first time around.

Oh yes - I do agree, Really, that I totally understood why it was called "labour" afterwards. That's what I really remember, pethidine/ G&A/ a TENS machine/ paracetamol/ absolutely anything the MW would let me have short of an epidural having done its thing rather well.

I could not for the life of me work out why my (female, mother) boss was telling me, when I went on maternity leave at 36 weeks, to make sure I got really well rested and took care of myself once I got a few weeks to myself at home. I got it once the contractions started. She also told me that guessing how labour pain would feel was like trying to imagine a colour you've never seen - it's out there on its own, experience-wise.

But - pet theory alert - I stayed in for a good few nights, sat around cuddling and feeding DS while someone else took care of, well, everything else really, so by the time I got home I really was well healed, and the memory of the pain was very well faded. I don't think I'd be so positive if I'd rushed home, doing washing, ironing, cooking etc. - I think I would have been even moreknackered and tearful, and maybe would have felt the whole thing was traumatic.

And FWIW - I had a car accident leading to a back injury while pregnant, and once I was caring for DS I suffered occasional flashes of nerve pain for a few months, which terrified me with their sudden, unpredictable onset and stupendous intensity. I truly wanted to crawl out of my own skin to get away from them, and after an episode I would shake and lie awake dreading the next one. Labour was nothing like as painful, or downright scary, as that for me.

As you've probably worked out, all labours are different pain wise ;)

Personally I found the contractions the worst bit, really painful. The pushing and crowning I experienced as intense sensation, too strange to describe, but not painful at all. I was very nervous about the whole baby out of fanjo bit, but that hurt the least for me.

To be completely honest, the labour and birth of an 8lb'er, was bog all compared to the first postpartum poo. The thought puts me off ever having another baby!

My advice is to put your feet firmly up after the baby is born for at least a few weeks and stock up on the prunes.

I did hypnobirthing and was induced.

For me contractions were intense like a fever. When the baby was ready to come out I did want it to stop as it was too intense. Pushing part (not hypnobirthing style!) was like doing a big poo. Was a quick labour mind you so I can imagine a long labour being hard.

Toptack - what a shame that that person from the NCT made you feel that way. I can only assume that kind of statement came from her ignorance of the facts. Making a decision to have an epidural when you are in significant pain sounds like a good decision made by a very rational person - and no reflection on anyone's mental "strength"?

I am certainly not suggesting that anybody who has pain relief or experiences pain during labour is failing in some way, and I hope my post did not come across that way. However, it is true that our natural levels of pain relief are affected by the stress chemicals our body can produces when we are scared or feel threatened, both of which are feelings that are likely if we have imagined something being awful prior to experiencing it.

Of course if you have a very frightening experience during birth, like rational describes above, then the natural endorphins will be affected, and it will be more painful ( and it's hard to avoid that happening - but as she says that is an unusual situation).

However, thinking lots about a horrendous experience you have not even had yet, will also (unnecessarily) have the same effect - so to give yourself the best chance of an easy and quick labour, then avoiding worrying and thinking about terrible it might be, and as much relaxation prior to and during labour as possible, will help immensely.

There may be individual cases where people feel that it has not helped them, but when you look at the studies that have been conducted, there is a very clear difference in pain levels and speed of labour etc. in those mothers who use self hypnosis (which is in effect deep relaxation) as opposed to those who don't.

The aim of this information is not to turn you into sme kind of happy clappy weirdo who claims never to have made a sound during birth, or to have to endure horrendous pain to prove a point to some overzealous natural birthing advocate. The reason I am saying this is to help the OP have the best chance of having an easier labour, and be in the best position to cope if things don't go the way she would like.

I have never met anyone else who experiences labour pains the way I do: I find the baby pressing down on my cervix and the whole process of dilatation exceptionally painful- certainly way more painful than a broken ankle and similar in pain in my life only to the first few moments after waking up from GA having said broken ankle pinned and plated, but before they gave me post-operative morphine. I was certainly never offered morphine in labour, which frankly is probably the only drug that would have dealt with the pain I was having. With DD3 I was induced and even at top amount of Synto and having very strong contractions that were just that- very strong but entirely painless contractions. I realised later (after she'd been born by CS due to entanglement) that the reason they were entirely painless is because she was nowhere near my cervix.

Some of you may find this useful - it's an understanding of the stages of labour - not through the eyes of the doctors but from the point of view of the women. I wish I had understood this when I was I labour because I recognise each and every stage, Especially the self doubt of the transition. saudilife.net/motherhood/9936-emotional-stages-of-labor

The pain was worse than I imagined. I thought I would die of pain. Sorry if this is not nice to hear but I wished someone had warned me how bad it was so I could have prepared myself. The best thing you can do is get as much rest as you can so you have the physical strength to bear it. And get people you trust on hand to help. The only good thing is that it doesn't last forever and the end result is obviously worth it.

I had 3 homebirths, 1 in water, used hypnobirthing and can't describe labour as painful.

I have been curled up in a ball weeping at period pains, I took the full daily dose of ibuprofen and paracetamol for afterpains but nothing for labour. To me it just felt very intense. Getting into the waterpool was an amazing feeling of relief.
but
but
the crowning....I did exclaim rather loudly (after 6hrs of near silence, swaying in the water) that it really hurt, and was it really supposed to hurt that much?!

Yes, it hurts a lot but at least its only for a short while, couple of days at most.

I recalibrated pain after I'd been in labour. Then I had a ECS but the pain from having been cut wide open was nothing compared to labour pain. There is a good reason why people compare their pain from illness or injury to that of childbirth.

However, I think asking these questions is the worst thing you can do, because it will make you nervous whereas when the time comes, you will find reserves you didn't know you had and you will have a baby afterwards which is huge compensation.

Agree with poster who said it has to be encouraging that women choose to have a second or third child (or more)

I think your previous experiences of pain and how you've learnt to cope with those will help you a lot with giving birth. Am glad to hear you are hoping to have a water-birth as I was able to have one with my first and found the water very helpful, especially in long first stage (much of it quite easy)
I've generally found the pushing stage more difficult, (and just before around transition or late first stage) - but pushing part was for less than half an hour both times.

I had virtually no damage with either so was lucky there too.

I think after two births, using only water-pool with first, and some gas and air with second, that I could probably say I've got a reasonably high pain threshold.
But I'm sure I was very lucky too - I'm sure every woman's experience is different.

All the very best to you. Go into it as positively as you can, and as well informed as you can be, and I hope everything will go as well as it possibly can

I've only skimmed the thread so can't say whether I'm repeating a lot of what's been said but although I remember the pain being all consuming & requiring effort to deal with/get through, I honestly don't remember how painful it was - on a scale of 1 to 10th say, I would guess it was 10, but equally I had an encapsulated appendicitus and had agonizing stomach pains for 2wks, & that was almost harder to deal with.

I also had quite a short labour (show to baby in 12hrs) and whilst the contractions were around for about 10hrs, they were only really regular & hard work for about 6hrs before DD arrived. The pushing was more physically exhausting for me, and don't remember the crowning being much more than stinging a bit. But then DD is 2.3yo so maybe my brain is helping me out? I'm sure I would have felt differently if I had been in labour for days...

To cope, I paced or rocked in a crouched/all fours position. I then spent some time in the bath, when I literally splashed up and down breathing through the pains and visualizing waves sweeping in and out with each breath, as someone had suggesting imagining surfers on the waves of the pain. I had G&A for the pushing stage, although I think that was a bit pointless now - a better birthing position would have helped more by that point!!

I didn't do any classes etc for breathing techniques, but for #2, I'm doing an NCT class & hoping for a water birth, so I can avoid the G&A this time, as I didn't like the sensation. I kept my options open & wouldn't have ruled out any pain relief before DD, but I genuinely found the pain manageable - yes it was strong, all encompassing, exhausting, but it came in waves, & I focussed on each wave and rested between. Each one was an individual pain, & not part of a long process, so I didn't dwell too much on what was happening in the next hour or two, just what happened now. Having a good birthing partner helped too, so I could literally just focus on me.

Good luck OP. It might be the worst pain of your life (but epidurals, pethidine are options if you need them) or it might be better than you imagined. Until you're there, you just don't know. Arm yourself with a good birthing partner, good techniques/visualizations and take it one contraction at a time...

I like thunks post, especially describing the wonderful water-pool with coloured lights & stars on the ceiling yet still saying "labour is not a day spa experience"

As I said, I had dd in a water-pool and it was a great resource. But I still think thunks is spot on there

I had a water birth (got in around 7cm) and agree it was amazing wrt to pain relief, just kind of lifts the weight from the contractions, if that makes sense? However you still need to move around as not every position in the pool is comfortable.

I used a TENS from the early contractions through to the ones before the pool, whilst it didnt take away the pain, it gives you control over your pains. I really liked feeling I was somewhat in control of how the pain would affect me with that.

I cant clearly evoke the pain when i think back, but i do remember saying to myself "if you ever try to recall this moment it is agony, you will never want to experience this again". Whilst hindsight has made it seem less bad, I trust the coraltoes who was in the moment and her judgement to know I'd rather not go through it again. does that make sense?

The only thing that eased my pain during early labour- before hospital- was to get in the bath and stay there, with DP coming in to top up the warm water :o

I still howled like a farm animal though and suspect I scared the shit out of my 20-something single female neighbour

I also demanded a Big Mac meal, which I ate in record time, before violently throwing up five minutes later..

I found contractions utter agony but the gas and air helped a lot. The weird thing about contractions is one minute you're screaming blue murder but in between you are perfectly normal. So I would be:

"AWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

"Anyway, as I was saying, I hear the campsites in France are really top rate"

very true Arthurfowler. I was the same, chatting about One Born Every Minute with the midwife, then OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BREATHE BREATHE BREATHE then "so yes, i thought the episode with the twins was..." amazing how the body can to from peaks of pain to absolutely nothing in a matter of seconds!

"AWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

"Anyway, as I was saying, I hear the campsites in France are really top rate"

LOL!

I wouldn?t describe my experience as pain ? there was physical discomfort and effort but not pain. I would equate it with something like a marathon or other endurance sport. I tried to view the contractions as hills to climb which really helped me visualise them. I hated G&A so only had one puff of it before stopping, though I did find the mouthpiece useful for biting down on . DC was back to back, and the hb was dipping with each contraction and I was stuck on my side with continuous monitoring as the hb dipped if I was in any other position as well, so didn?t exactly have an ideal active birth, also after 3 hrs of pushing ended up with a ventouse as was stuck, and that was fine too. The feeling afterwards is the best endorphin high ever!

I think if you do any sort of hard sport you can equate it to that and it makes it easier to cope with, that?s how I viewed it and it really helped me.

I found sinusitis far more painful.