How painful is labour?

[MayimBialik]

I'm sure the answer will be very/extremely/agonisingly! But what is the most painful part? Is it the contractions? What do they feel like? Bad period pains but they go on for so long it gets exhausting? Or worse? Or is the most painful part the pushing? How long does that last for?

Just starting to wonder more and more about the whole thing. I'm hopefully having a waterbirth and am really looking forward to it. Im being a bit naive at the moment thinking I have a high pain threshold and always suffered from horrendous period pains so it can't be that bad....feel free to bring me back to reality!

It hurts like fuck, to be honest, and is the single weirdest thing that will ever happen to your body. But. But.

You get a baby when it stops!

Personally,I found contractions painful but I could cope with them, transition recognisable ("Oh, I'm shaking and feeling sick: must be transition. Fair enough."), crowning bloody awful and made me scream and pushing relentless, but then DD had the cord round her neck twice so was basically bungee jumping, the wee bugger.

8 weeks later I have no physical memory of the pain - I know it hurt, but I can't imagine it, weirdly - but I can remember the feeling of her body slithering out of mine. It was AMAZING!

Do remember that you then have a placenta to get rid of after the lovely baby is here. I forgot and was really pissed off about it.

When there is a contraction it hurts, and the longer it goes on the more intense it is. However in between contractions there is no pain at all so you have some recovery time. The pain is not sharp it is long like a period pain but quite intense. The sharp pain (i.e. the one that makes people swear) is when the baby crowns but again this is a relatively short time compared to labour and then out pops baby and all pain completely dissapears.

i think your very brave to ask the question!

good luck op, just remember its well worth it.

What kept me going,whilst in agony, was the midwife saying after every contraction..."that one has gone and you won't get that one again".....meaning that every painful contraction was a means to an end, one step nearer to the baby being born. That actually really helped,stopped me panicking so much!!
Nothing prepares you for the pain.I have really painful periods which feel like early contractions,but it surpasses that! And yet ,the second the baby is out....all gone!!

Yes, it hurts. I was on a drip and had a back to back baby on gas and air... but at 8cm dilated I recognised the dilation (rather than the contraction) pain as my period pain.

Contractions hurt a lot, pushing hurts a lot, but by the far the worst bit for me was being told NOT to push for an hour, as apparently I wasn't at 10cm...

But it really wasn't as bad as I expected and the pain is purposeful and goes. I felt it really useful to think that every contraction I had was one less I had to have.

I have only done it once so far, but it wasn't too bad. Contractions started off just feeling like 'tightening'. They did get 'uncomfortable' then eventually, about two hours before I went to hospital, 'mildly - to very - painful', but I was coping fine with my TENS until that point. I was 6cm dilated on arrival at the hospital. Once I got on the G&A I could cope fine again although I could feel the pains and they were very strong. I went through crowning and pushing without G&A and yes, that was the worst bit, unlike any pain I've ever felt. But it only lasted 18 mins for me so I got off lightly. Also has 2nd degree tear, which I didn't notice happening at all. At no point did it really feel like period pain, maybe a bit when it was at the 'uncomfortable' stage.

I found #1 to be intense, uncomfortable and very long/tiring and #2 to be intense, uncomfortable, fast & tiring.

But I wouldn't describe either birth as painful - more uncomfortable. I guess it possibly was, but the hormones are great & gas and air really helped.

I am just going to add in my two penneth. I have one child. I didn't realise I was in labour. Had a twinge, which was less painful than period pains, I was in hospital anyway consultant told me i was 5cm. I really honestly hadn't noticed.

I don't like gas and air, I knew that from breaking my arm so refused it.

Ds born very quickly, less than 2 hours later. It took 3 pushes to get him out, that felt like constipation.

In my experience my miscarriage was much much more painful, as was breaking my arm. In both those cases I was given morhpine. To give birth nothing. It all depends

I have had terrible period pains and a fairly high pain threshold and my labour pain was so awful I stopped being able to speak. However I was induced with the drip at 2cm because my waters had gone 3 days before and I went from 2-10 in 2 and a half hours. It was just one long contraction with no down time. The upside was I had an epidural just before he was born which was bliss for the 20 minutes before DS had to be hauled out with forceps when his heart rate disappeared and I didn't feel a thing.
There is no need to be scared of the pain as there is fab pain relief if it all gets too much. Getting an epidural is not failing in anyway as all labours are different in their length and intensity.

I didn't think it was that bad TBH!

Between contractions you feel fine and not in pain. My contractions hurt but not in a 'can't take it' kind of way. Labour didn't last long for me, so anyone waiting for the event should take heart that there is every shade of experience and it doesn't have to be awful!

I was lucky that everything was straight forward but it is good to know that is possible when you are next in line.

I am a big wuss but thought that labour was much less hideous than the last 2 weeks of pregnancy.

Also, I had wrist surgery about 15 years ago - and that was worse too.

But yeah - it does flipping smart!

My contractions were absolutely fine - I wasn't comfy sitting or lying so just paced up and down all night, rocking and counting at the intense (but still not painful) bit of the contraction and then pacing a bit til the next one. By the end I was a bit hunched and saying 'ooowwwww' silently to myself but turned out I was 8cm by then! So I was lucky that that bit of labour was easy especially as - as I soon learned - I'm a total wuss when it comes to pain. My waters then broke very suddenly and there were no more contractions, just non-stop pressure and screaming bloody agony jolly painful til she was born 45 mins later - it would have been quicker if I'd just pushed harder from the start but it hurt so much I was too scared to!

The pain stopped the instant DD was born though and I don't even remember delivering the placenta, it was all a rosy blur by then.

If I had the choice of another birth exactly the same I'd definitely take it, but I'd push harder sooner next time and hopefully get it over with quicker!

From what I can tell, everyone's experience is different and the best thing is to not have too many expectations. Once it's over you don't forget exactly, but as long as the baby and you are both ok it sort of fades into the background as you try to figure out what to do with the baby now... good luck!

It depends really. I think a lot of the pain is from fear. I have had 4dc, first with water, pethidine, gas and air and was terrified throughout. 2nd and 3rd dc I had epidurals due to fearing the pain. 4th dc, I went into labour about 5pm, just kept myself busy with the dc and stayed at home. By half seven I felt things were moving quicker and got to the hospital at 8pm. I was fully dilated and dc4 was born thirty minutes later with no pain relief because the nozzle kept falling off the gas and air and I just gave up with it. It was my best labour and I think because I wasn't so scared, the pain was bearable.

As everyone says, it's different for everyone. So I think the thing to bear in mind is that if you feel on-the-edge-of-not-bearing it for any one aspect*, it doesn't mean that the other parts which are "officially" worse will actually be worse for you. So don't worry, never ask yourself "if I can hardly stand this, how will I stand x?" and don't even try to think about how long it takes, eg "well I could do this for 4 hours but not 8" - just don't even go there, you don't know what reserves of strength you have, or how long you will need them for. It really is just moment by moment and you will probably surprise yourself by managing all those moments very well and ending up with a beautiful baby.

*I thought I was a nutter and a lightweight hardly bearing being examined, the midwife was a little scornful in fact, but shortly about to go off duty and the one who succeeded her was lovely and essentially the whole birth after that was lovely. In fact I've read on here that lots of people can't stand being examined so that's not just me, but it shook my confidence at the time.

It hurts - lots!! BUT most women happily decide to have more children so its just best to think of something that you have to deal with to get the end result!!

have to agree with fate loves the fearless. The fear of how much it was going to hurt was probably the worst bit. Also Im not good with the feeling of being out of control. The worst bit I found was the part where his head was crowning as it was more of a stinging sensation. Gas and air bloody marvellous but they took it off me in the end as I stopped pushing! Once you hold your little baby it makes it all worthwhile. I would have done it again but not now as Im too old ; 0 (

I had a nice straight forward labour - contractions started back to back, every 2.5 mins, and just felt like back ache so I popped a couple of paracetamol and later on had a bath. When ds moved into the correct position the contractions felt more like surges of cramping but each one only lasts a minute and even when they were only 90 seconds apart I still moved around getting things from downstairs (planned homebirth). Things started to get "intense" about and hour before ds arrived. My waters went 12 mins before he arrived. My second stage only lasted 20 mins and I didn't "push" ds out I just went with the contractions.

I did hypnobirthing and although I never got in to the self hypnotism bit I really do believe that some of the pain comes from fear (mine stepped up when I realised dh was going to miss the birth and I panicked for a bit, but had an ace midwife who kept me calm) and that you should just go with the contractions rather then trying to fight them/tense up (easier said than done!). No point fighting them anyway, they're just gonna keep coming!

My labour lasted 9 hours start to finish. I would do labour again in a heart beat but the first 6 week with a newborn is another matter!

To be honest though, the physical pain isn't the scariest part of giving birth. I found the mental challenges much harder than the physical ones.

Well to start off with for me, contractions were bearable. I put my TENS machine on as soon as they started, which I think helped. I tried to sleep, but kept waking up every 15 minutes.

I then had contractions all the following day, but I was at home so I could eat, watch TV, get on the birthing ball etc. I remember thinking that the pain was ok - not unbearable. By that night at about 11pm I was exhausted - couldn't get to sleep because of the pain, and the labour ward told me to go and have a warm bath as my cervix probably wasn't even dilated at all yet.

At 2am I decided to take myself down to the hospital (when I say that, I mean, I did not wait for them to tell me it was ok!), and I was 5-6cm dilated. By this point I was in a lot of pain due to the contractions coming closer together (no rest period) and really was very tired after having no sleep for two nights. An hour later, I said that I needed to push (no-one believed me), but she checked and I was fully dilated. Pushed for 1.5 hours and then out he came. At crowning, it was very sore and actually felt as if someone had cracked my pelvis in half, however I am sure this is not the case for everyone. I did have a 2nd degree and a labial tear though so I'm sure that would account for some of the agony!

The one thing which would have helped for me is if I had been able to get some sleep at some point - I was literally so exhausted that I couldn't focus on pushing.

The thing is OP, it is so different for everyone - I had a friend who only started to feel real pain as she was fully dilated.

I am pregnant again now so trying not to think about it all too much!!

I think it's good if you can keep an open mind - I was all set for a water birth, but I needed continual foetal monitoring so I couldn't.

Also, if you can find a really good antenatal teacher it will really help you to be prepared.

Hope it all goes well for you when it happens!

I agree with another poster said that this maybe isn't the most helpful for you to be doing whilst due your 1st but we all do it. I became obsessed with home birth diary's when due my 2nd

My first labour was great as I had an epidural and was very pain-free and relaxed. My second I arrived at hospital at 4:01 and ds was born at 4:21 luckily it was am & no traffic or dh would have had to deliver eeek scary thought

Was really scary and intense with it being so quick and very, very painful esp the 'ring of fire' oh that was bad! But I think because I hadn't experienced it before I really didn't realise it would be over so quickly and had I known I maybe could of handled it better. But because my contractions hadn't progressed in the normal way my placenta didn't come away as it should and so that was delightful...had to have catheter fitted and then stitches and things which I felt was worse than the labour.

But it could't of been that bad as myself and dh ttc atm

Good luck with your labour & hope you get your water birth

Also, and I could be speaking out of line here, but I think I read somewhere that the fitter and more active you are, the quicker and easier a labour you will have. Last time I was pg, I think I used it as an excuse to lie in the bath for two hours at a time, and pig out on rubbish, but this time (once I get over the vile first trimester sickness/exhaustion), I am planning on taking up pregnancy yoga and trying to stick to healthy eating.

For me? Absolutely agonising. Almost life-ending, terrifyingly agonising.

But, I did it 3 times and if I could afford to I would do it at least twice more! That beautiful, amazing 24 hours following birth holding the fruit of your labour - priceless. I'm jealous that you have got that to do soon

Gas and air helped me. So did screaming. So did telling my DH to piss off and sit in the corner and not touch me

Everyone's experience is different. Every birth is different.

Good luck. Childbirth is amazing (in my opinion!).

I agree to some extent that expectation and fear can play a large part but I think that being realistic can also be useful. A person is going to come out of your vagina: it's going to sting a bit and pain relief is a good idea. I had DD with water birth & cocodamol & it was doable but unpleasant (insane midwife wouldn't crack open the bloody gas & air). You don't get any medals for doing it that way so I would advise kicking up more fuss than I did - I got all British about it and didn't want to be a nuisance - and getting off your tits on the ol' entonox as soon as you can.

Don't get me wrong, water birth is brilliant & it was a v positive experience, but I did wish I'd put my foot down.

I found early labour much more painful than I was expecting. I had painful contractions for 18 hours before anything happened. I wish someone had told me that before.

After that my waters broke and it was really pretty obvious that I wasn't coping with the pain at home so DH and I went to the hospital where I was 4cm dilated at about 7am.

I hit 10cm at about 5-6pm I think.

The first stage was the worst for me. DS was in a weird position and my contractions were very low so I felt badly like I needed to poo for most of the day. I also had to have assistance weeing, again because of the position DS was in.

The contractions were very painful. I stood up pretty much until I reached 10cm, gripping the handle of the cot every time I had a contraction. Gas and air was grand!

I had a spinal eventually for a forceps delivery (prepped for section in case the forceps didn't work) so I can't tell you how the crowning stage felt - I could feel nothing below my boobs!

I have been advised, strongly, to have an ELCS next time around (if there is a next time), and although I'm disappointed that I'll never experience the sensation of actually having a baby come out and there are a lot of downsides to C-sections, I'm a little bit glad that I'll never have to go through labour again. It has taken me over a year to accept this though.